The Jack Rules

Disclaimer: Still not mine

Summary: 101 to 150

Thanks: to my lovely reviewers, I didn´t think that this little story would be so ..dare I say it---popular.

You rule mates. Hugs and cookies to purplediamond7, Brix, Angelstreasure, Rose´s Thorne, JeanieBeanie33 and crockergirl.

#101. I confess: It´s my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, rape,. pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my wisely black guts out.

#102. It´s amazing how many people to something stupid right after you warned them.

#103. Why on earth does the navy recrute people who can´t swim?

#104. Take what you can.

#104a. And then run as fast as you can.

#105. If this would be a dream, there´d be rum.

#106. The "P" on my arm does not mean "Pillaging"

#106a. Nor "Poppet"

#106b. or "Pistols aim here"

#107. A lot of people will remember the day when they -almost- caught Captain. Jack. Sparrow.

#108. Would it actually be wise to tell someone that you´re going to fight cruel, demented, vicious pirates who cannot be killed?

#109. I certainly can´t remember saying that.

#110. WHOA!

#111. Deserts suck.

#112. I walk, I don´t prance.

#113. A sparrow is a cool symbolic animal.

#113a. Every dork has an eagle or a falcon.

#114. Why does everyone say that my dad looks like Blackbeard? Who the hell is this Blackbeard-guy anyway?

#115.My sash is not pink.

#116. It´s not good to be the king - especially when your inferiors try to eat you.

#117. Why the hell is Barbossa the Pirate Lord of the Kaspian Sea when all he did was spending ten years haunting the Caribbean sea?

#117a. and you do know that the Kaspian Sea is actually a big lake in East Europe?

#117b. I was a cartographer once. Or something.

#117c. And Barbossa (spanish for red-beard) is said to be a Spanish pirate, isn´t he?

#118. I know that pirates are not creative with names.

#118a. Shipwreck Island ring a bell?

#119. I hate being marooned.

#119a. And especially twice on the same island.

#120. Nobody move! Dropped me brain.

#121. "Yo-ho" and "Arrrgh" are international pirate terms and do not need translation.

#122. I didn´t mean it.

#123. Pirates are a (sometimes) cowardly and superstitious lot.

#123a. Really. But with all the cursed gold, deals to avoid death, banning a goddess..wouldn´t you?

#123b. But Gibbs tops them all.

#124. Am I a mutiny-magnet or something?

#125. Am I the only one who thinks that it is somewhat inappropiate to call the island which has the key to endless life "Isla de muerta" (Island of Death)?

#126. It is remarkable how close madness and brillance coincide.

#127. I did not call Will "whelp" because he has puppy eyes.

#128. If every town in the world would be like Tortuga, no man would ever feel unwanted.

#129. I am planning to take out a patent on my grins.

#130. It´s only a matter of leverage.

#131. I am the best pirate you´ve every seen.

#132. The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do, and what a man can´t do.

#132a. I can do anything, I am captain Jack Sparrow.

#133. Hello Beastie.

#134. Welcome to the Caribbean, love.

#135. We must fight.

#135a. So that we can run afterwards again.

#136. Many people have tried to kill me in the past.

#136a. Astonishing that only one succeeded.

#137. Nigh uncatchable. The Black Pearl.

#137a. I still don´t believe that the bastard Barbossa managed to take it from me again.

#138. Why did we call Elizabeth the King of the Pirates?

#138a. I hope for mother´s love that she was really a girl.

#139. Many men spend years of their life sleeping. I spend years of my life hanging down from ropes and trying to evade my persuers.

#140. The undead Jack didn´t look soooooo bad.

#140a. Better than Barbossa in any case.

#141. Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?

#142. Yeah, me neither.

#142a. I don´t follow orders.

#143. Human hair. From my back.

#144. You don´t want to be doing this.

#145. Whoever invented that thing called grammar was a cruel, vicious bastard who deserved to be hung by the neck.

#145a. I hope somebody did that.

#146. Dead men tell no tales.

#146. Which bloody idiot said that? Barbossa and his crew ring a bell? Davy Jones and his fish-people? What about me?

#147. Silver would be a very stupid pirate name for a captain.

#148. I think Barbossa rehearsed his "Begun by blood, by blood undone" speech several times.

#148a. I doubt that I would have anything better to do when being undead for a decade.

#149. I expect to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name at all, watching me sail away on MY ship and then I´ll shout the name back to you.

#150. Savy?

Author´s talk:

Wow. Three chapters written in actually 24 hours. That has to be a record. So many people reviewed. How cool is that?

I love you guys.