Disclaimer: Blah blah blah do not own McFly

A/N: K I'm alive, was gone for most of the weekend! I love this show from Japan called Hana Yori Dango and wow I'm in love with Hanazawa Rui!! EEEP! Oh, hope you enjoy this :

Day Siete

I have permanently banned Tom Fletcher from being anywhere near this man journal because of his antics on the last entry. BANNED FOR EVER! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Kay, sorry, had an evil moment there. So this morning after I woke up, set Mr. Snuggles in his little sitting place by my pillow, and brushed my teeth, I headed to Harry's room and heard Britney Spears music. Slowly I tiptoed in and leaned into Harry's bathroom to see him standing in front of the mirror, in only his boxers, singing into a hairbrush. Now the being in his boxers thing was a bit uh scandalous and made my mouth water, I MEAN IT MADE ME WANT TO TURN AROUND AND RUN AWAY, but I couldn't help it when I figured out what he was singing.

"I'M NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMANNNN!!" Harry sang badly, not caring who heard him as he posed and moved his hands around.

"OH you want me to make you a woman?" I asked as I slithered up behind him and enjoyed the feeling of his skin on mine, "Aw is little Hazza blushing?"

"What?! No!" Harry said as he pushed me away, "What do you think you're doing?!"

"That hurt's Harry," I said motioning to my heart, "Right here!"

"OUT OF MY BATHROOM! OUT, OUT, OUT!" Harry said grabbing me and pushing me out the door, "I need to take a shower.

"Are you sure I can't come with you?" I replied. YES I CAN'T BELIEVE MYSELF EITHER, THAT WAS SO NOT MANLY!

"WHAT?" Harry said and slammed the door. I shook my head and headed back to my room to find James Bourne outside the window.

"Er James, what are you doing outside my window on this morning in a tree?" I asked opening the window.

"JAMES? WHAT JAMES? No one here but us squirrels!" James declared and pretended to be a squirrel. It was like a bad cartoon if you ask me. I shut the window and then the curtains and shook my head before putting some clothes on before going downstairs.

"Entering the kitchen, better not run into some funny business!" I said as I got to the bottom of the stairs and walked into the kitchen to find Tom's shirt messed up and Danny's hair all shaggy.

"Ah so there was funny business!"

"Uh no way," Danny said with that shifty eyed look he gets when he's lying.

"Harry was singing I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman in his bathroom this morning." I told the two boys as I got a glass of orange juice and sat down.

"Really? Does that mean he's finally coming out of the closet?" Tom inquired as he cooked some eggs.

"You think Harry's GAY?" I said, "G-A-Y, GAY?"

"Yes G-A-Y gay, not happy gay obviously." Tom said rolling his eyes.

"James Bourne was also outside my window impersonating a squirrel."

"We really need to get a restraining order on him." Danny decided.

"But he's one of my best friends!" Tom declared as he waved the spatula he was using around.

"PUT THE SPATULA DOWN AND NO ONE WILL GET HURT!!" I stated and started laughing.

"Well course he's one of your best mates, but he really shouldn't show up at our house in all these weird places all the time!" Danny said as he got up and opened the curtain in the kitchen to show James hanging off the roof waving at them and then closed them again. I shook my head and went back upstairs, not much else happened that day except for a meeting with Fletch about more shows and stuff to premote the new song. Oh well I guess Harry hit on me more than usual today, like more than the joking way. STOP DOUGIE STOP, YOU ARE STRAIGHT, YOU ARE STRAIGHT! YOU LIKE GIRLS! YOU LIKE GIRLS NAMED HARRY…WHAT?! NO GIRLS JUST GIRLS, NOT GIRLS NAMED HARRY WHO HAVE SEXY BUMS AND CRYSTAL BLUE EYES. Excuse me while I got try to jump off the roof.

Tom stopped me from jumping off the roof; he was up there trying to get James off apparently before Danny killed him. He wanted to know why I was on the roof, I told him it was because I was going insane. Ha take that Fletcher.

Day Ocho

Danny and Harry both now think that I need to go to the loony bin according to what Tom has told them. Danny's handing me depression medication and they all think I'm like an emo or something. ME, DOUGIE POYNTER, AN EMO? HA! HOW FUNNY IS THAT? I got online today for once and talked to Helen who was going on about how sexy I am and how she thinks that Harry and Dougie should hook up and make babies or something…I told her that she was crazy because the male anatomy does not allow us to have babies. Wait, what? DID I JUST NOT DENY THE IDEA OF ME AND HARRY GOING AT IT LIKE RABBITS??! You never saw that, you never saw anything. Today I decided to also shave my pubes again even though everytime I got to the bathroom I freak out and run screaming to one of the guys that someone stole my man hair. Harry's mad because I nicked his razor again! Well that shows him for trying to force me to read books about anti-depression and making me think that I'm in love with him. WHICH I'M NOT OBVIOUSLY, I mean it is obvious right? So I think about him like everyday and I wish I could sleep with him- NO, NO I DON'T. I WISH THAT I COULD BE SLEEPING WITH UH CHRISTINA AGULERIA…YEAH SHE'S A HOTTIE MC HOT HOT RIGHT? YEAH THAT.

Sorry I just spent the last twenty minutes talking to myself about how Christina Aguleria is so fit and Harry isn't just to prove my point. I think Tom heard me because when he came in to get his shirt that I had barrowed he was looking at me odd…or he was looking at me odd because of the fact that I was missing most of my clothes. Either way he looked at me odd didn't he? Do you know how hard it is to sleep with him and Danny going at it all the time at night? IT'S LIKE NEITHER OF THEM GET TIRED! They are just energizer bunnies that just keep going and going and going and going…

"Dougie, what do you write about in your diary?" Harry asks me as I write this in the family room.

"Things that happen, stuff, you know the usual."

'The usual?" Harry inquired, "Are you depressed for real Dougie?"

"Er no, why would you think that?"

"Tom said you we're going to kill yourself by jumping off the roof so that's a giveaway but I mean you seem a little sadder maybe?"

"I WAS NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF!! I was going simply up there to see the sky!"

"It was cloudy."

"SO? MAYBE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!" And that's when I left and locked myself in my room. Sometimes that Harry Judd can just get the biggest rise out of me! Maybe it's because I'm in love with him.

….

What did I just say?

Day Nueva

I've decided that yesterday's final note in the entry was just the pills Danny forced me to take talking, I do not love Harry Judd in any kind of way but a brotherly one obviously. Today I tried to completely avoid him for the pure fact that I was worried I would blurt out something strange so I sat myself in front of the TV and played the new racing game Tom had gotten as a gift.

"Mind if I play with you?" Tom said walking in, "Danny and Harry are over at the studio taking care of some things."

"Sure dude, take a seat." I said patting beside me and the dark brown haired boy sat down and took the other controller.

"Dougie I have a bet. If I win, you tell me the truth." Tom said as we picked cars.

"The truth about what?"

"Harry." I gulped and looked at him with wide eyes, how could he do this to me?

"And if I win?"

"Then I will never bother you about it again, even in your diary I won't."

"HAVE YOU BEEN READING IT!?" I screamed in angst.

"No Doug, not since that one time." Tom said rolling his eyes as the game started. For most of the game I was beating Tom but at the last second he somehow pulled ahead of me and won.

"Never face the guy who owns the game. Now spill!" Tom said turning to me.

"Well uh I don't know, it's just I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM TOM!" I declared finally and put my head in my hands, "I'm not supposed to be like this, you're the gay one!"

"HEY! That's offensive you know!" Tom said laughing, "And maybe you like him Doug, did you think of that?"

"Yeah but I yell at myself everytime I think it and that's why I was going to jump off the roof."

"So you we're going to kill yourself because you thought you were falling in love with Hazza?"

"That's one way to put it, or slightly damage myself as I like to say."

"Silly, silly Doug!" Tom said shaking his head, "Did you ever think that Harry might like you too?" And that's when I got up and went to my room to write in this journal. Even if I did like Harry he wouldn't like me back because he's obviously straight right? I mean all those hugs and stuff we're just for jokes…right? SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME I'M RIGHT!!!!

I think I'm going to go into my bathroom and just sit in the empty tub with this book and my mp3 player so no one can get to me, maybe then I'll figure it out.

It's been a couple hours since I locked myself in the bathroom now, Harry and Danny got home a little while ago. No one has noticed yet that I'm missing and I wish Harry was in this tub with me possibly… for once I'm not going to deny what I just said. YES WORLD IT'S TRUE, DOUGIE LEE POYNTER LIKES HIS BEST FRIEND HARRY MARK CHRISTOPHER JUDD. It feels so good to get that off my chest. Oh there's a knock at the door, I'll write about it later kay? It's probably Tom telling me dinner's done or whatever.