Disclaimer: I do not own ze band called McFly or James Bourne
A/N: Speaking of James Bourne, he's dating a 16 year old and he's 26….right moving on. Second to last chapter people, can you feel the suspense?
Dougie: No, they can't because DOUG TRIPLE X ISN'T HERE
Me: You're standing right there, wait a second how'd you get out of the story?
Dougie: Plot holes duh, I'd like to thank all the reviewers for saying they love me! Blows kisses
Me: They obviously love the author and not the authoriee or whatever…
Dougie: THAT'S NOT EVEN A BLOODY F-
Me: DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT WORD.
Dougie: What, fungus?
Me: Blood fungus? shoves Dougie back in plot hole Later gators, enjoy while I take care of a nuisance named Dougie Lee Poynter.
Day Trese
Sorry I left it off like that, but there was this whole mess and we ended up having to come down to the police station for questioning…well ah…let me tell you what happened. So I opened the door right to find Harry staring right at me with Danny and Tom on either side of him and he was just about to say something when all of a sudden someone shows up….three guesses and the first two don't count. There was James Bourne, with an ax, screaming his love for me and running right at Harry. Luckily James has really bad hand eye coordination and completely missed me or Harry and kept running until he hit the end of the hallway and fell over. Danny immediately broke out crying and Tom had to hold him and sing to him since this had been one of his worst nightmares (James holding an ax as your worst nightmare, who would of thought!). Harry rushed to the phone in the hallway and called the police who had been out looking for him since he broke out of his restraint and grabbed this lumberjack's ax. The police finally came while James was unconscious and we all went down to the police station to testify that James freakin Bourne was, in fact, a tad bit insane. It didn't take long and Tom dragged us all home and I just fell over dead asleep until now when I decided to get my journal out. Hold on a second, I'm getting on my laptop at like 6 in the morning, I'll write down what happens with Helen if she's on. Something's a bit odd bout that one!
Pete's Da Man:
Hello Helen!
HELENONGTEENIE!!!!11:
OMG PETEERRR!!!!!111ELEVENTYONEONEONE
Pete's Da Man:
Yes , nice to see you too. Now I have a dilemma that you could help me with.
HELENONGTEENIE!!!!11:
WOT IZ IT?!?
Pete's Da Man:
I'm in love with my best friend and I don't know if he even cares about me that way!
HELENONGTEENIE!!!11:
I BET HE DOEZ PETE! PMSL
Pete's Da Man
Wait, how do you know it's a guy?
HELENONGTEENIE!!!11:
U SED U WUR GAY DIDN'T U?
Pete's Da Man:
Don't remember that, but alright. I'm going to go and see what time it is and what my friends are up too, thanks for your help Helen
Pete's Da Man has signed off. For some reason Helen seems oddly like someone I already know, just can't put my finger on it.
Apparently it's 10:00 AM already and no one's come to wake me up yet which is unusual in this house, especially with Harry around. I'm going to investigate, if I don't come back journal please take care of Zukie and my other lizards alright? Even though you have no hands…or a brain….whatever.
I took you with me anyway and now Harry is looking at me strange as I am scribbling furiously in you. See I tip toed out and looked into Danny's room to see him and Tom asleep in the bed looking like little angels. Harry came walking up and looked in with me and seemed to laugh about it.
More like devils if you ask me- Harry
Or devils as Harry puts it and then wandered over to Harry's er brightly decorated room.
Oi what don't you like about my room?!- Harry
You have a pig next to Britney Spears and I find both disgusting!
You find Britney Spears disgusting? And the pig is cuddly! –Harry
Right whatever, I've decided to go spend the rest of the day in my room being an emo with the toaster James killed.
We have to go to a magazine interview at like three Doug –Harry
FINE THEN HAZ! I'M GOING TO MY ROOM UNTIL THREE, LEAVING, THEN GOING BACK IN! That'll show the guys that they can't keep me out for long.
Day Catorse[That's probably spelled wrong, Dougie TRIPLE X sucks at Spanish above the number 13
So my plan to stay in my room and live in it forever failed when at like two this morning Harry burst through the door screaming something about Tom being pregnant. I freaked out until I figured out he was joking and then decided to attack him with my pillow which resulted in us rolling around on the floor.
"Oh good Harry, you finally told him then?" Tom said poking his head in and holding a loaf of bread and some eggs.
"What?" I asked confused as Harry hurried to the door and pushed the brunette boy out in a panic.
"Did Tom just have bread and eggs at 2 in the morning?" Harry said with that nervous giggle he gets, "That nutter!"
"Well sometimes Danny gets the craving for French toast a la Tom Fletcher really early in the morning and Tom knows that if he complies with Danny's demands he will get some boom boom in return." I stated simply and laid back on my bed, "What didn't you tell me?"
"ThatI'mtheteenieyou'vebeentalkingtoonline." Harry said in one breath and really fast.
"You're the what?" I asked confused, "Say it slower."
"I'm the teenie you've been talking to online." Harry said again and turned bright red, "Now excuse me while I go jump off the roof." He headed towards the door and I shot up and grabbed his arm making him look down.
"Don't go."
"What? Why not?" Harry said, still bring red and only in his boxers.
"Because, I don't care that you posed as a teenie…which why did you anyway?"
"I wanted to know what was going on inside your head Doug, and I knew you posed as a guy named Pete online so I went through with the plan and well uh," Harry said with a bit of a cough at the end.
"Then you know my secret."
"Well I already knew because you told all of the viewers of that show we were on yesterday!"
"Sorry bout that, I just…Harry Judd, you make me go insane."
"Crazy like the song by Britney Spears?" Harry said smirking.
"THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BRING HER UP!" I replied with a glare, "You know how objective I am to her methods!"
"So dancing around like a slut is a method now is it?" Harry asked with a glint to his eye.
"Only when she does it, anyway that's why I locked myself in my room obviously." I said going back to the original conversation, "Because I was afraid of what you would do."
"Oh Doug," Harry said shaking his head and sitting down on the floor against the door frame. I sat down next to him and brought my knees to my chest and gave a big sigh as I waited for it. "You are sucha dumbass."
"WHAT?" I said in shock, thinking he would say he hated me or that he thought I was disgusting. My eyes must have been the size of a Frisbee.
"This whole emo thing, which you can't do because emos don't smile, and the locking up in the room is because you're in love with me?" Harry asked looking at me and running a hand through his hair, "And the jumping off the roof?"
"Yep," I replied with a nod and then placed my chin on my knees.
"Dumbass," Harry said laughing and shaking his head, "You already had my attention."
"What?"
"Dougie, don't you get it or are you as thick as Danny?"
"What do you mean?" I demanded to know because currently I was in a confused state.
"I'm in love with you." Harry replied smiling, "I tried to say that before James came at us with an ax…that nutter…" And that was when my whole world seemed to click and the halleluia chorus started in my head. Great, now I have music in my head too! One day I'll end up like James, burnt from a toaster and unconscious from a wall.
Day Quince
Harry Mark Christopher Judd is now my boyfriend. BOYFRIEND! I just keep saying it over and over in my head again and again. Harryyy Juddd iss my boyffrienndd and notttt youuuuurss! Dougie Lee Judd, has a ring to it doesn't it? Or maybe it would be Harry Mark Christopher Poynter! Either way it sounds like it fits, like it should be. After Harry said he loved me I managed to push him against the wall and have my wicked way with him until Danny came in and started beating us both with Harry's cricket bat so he could get some sleep after eating his toast. Needless to say Harry took the bat and climbed into my bed next to me. Do you know how great it is to wake up and find a gorgeous boy next to you? IT IS BLOODY AMAZING LIKE HAVING THE PERFECT ICE CREAM FLAVOR OR RIDING A GIRAFFE AT THE ZOO…which of I've done neither but still. This morning after I got out of bed I skipped downstairs to find Tom and Danny holding hands and eating.
"You guys can't be apart for one second can you!" I said all bubbly, "IT'S SO CUTE!"
"Tom did you give Dougie the happy medicine again?"
"No…did you?"
"He's acting strange, like un-normally happy." Danny said eyeing me from his position at the table.
"I've just realized what I was missing!"
"Oh him and Harry finally told each other which is good because the sexual tension between you two was like overwhelming." Tom said with a nod and then smiled.
"Right, sexual tension…" I replied as I grabbed a banana and started eating it.
"God that's hot." A voice said as a pair of arms slipped around my waist.
"Hi there Harry!"
"Did you guys give Dougie happy pills again?"
"THAT WAS ONE TIME AND NO ONE CAN SEEM TO LET IT GO!" Tom said throwing his arms in the air as he let go of Danny's hand and then proceeded to turn on the television, "LOOK! IT'S MINISTRY OF MAYHEM!" Soon they had Name that Tone which resulted in Tom and I breaking into a rendition of Mr. Lee with some snazzy dance moves like the lawnmower or sprinkler.
"That Mr. Lee, he's sucha nice person!" I said smiling as Harry cuddled against my side. It felt good being like this, just me and him. It's like nothing could ruin this moment, nothing at all.
"Oh, phones ringin!" Danny called as he finished up his cereal. Tom rushed over and picked up the phone and made short answers until he hung it up.
"Apparently James broke out again and has found Matt along the way…" Tom said looking at us, "This might not be good."
"Wait as in Matt who went off and got drunk because of the break up Matt?" Harry asked as he looked over in confusion.
"CRAP STICKS! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEE! I JUST GOT MY LOVE AND NOW JAMES IS GOING TO MOLEST ME AND I'LL NEVER HAVE CHILDREN!"
"Doug, you're gay and there's always adoption." Tom pointed out.
"Oh right, well you never know." I said cooling down, "Read this brilliant story the other day online where you and I had a baby that was actually Harry's!"
"Wait, you and I had a baby…but it was actually Harry's?"
"Yes, because of this night in Mexico! It was one of the funniest stories ever!"
"I was pregnant?!" Tom said, not really comprehending this all, "How come I wasn't with Dan?"
"I don't know, Danny was with Harry." I explained and rolled my eyes, "Duh." Then Danny and Harry looked at each other and started screaming. "Did I say something wrong?"
"Dougie, I think we should let this one go now alright?" Tom said with an uneasy look, "I just hope to god I never get pregnant!"
Watch God will smite him and he will become the first man ever to have a baby! How will the baby even get out even…wow okay not even going to think about that. I'm just going to think about Harry Judd and his perfect eyes, perfect hair, perfect smile…perfect everything. If I hadn't already given up my virginity to that girl and all that I would of given it to him any day, it's his charm I think. See you tomorrow journal, don't miss me too much! I'm off for a day of Juddtastic pleasure! Ha I just giggled at myself, how odd.
P.S. The story mentioned is This is why you NEVER let a fic write itself on McFly Slash by laderinmytights which is amazing really, never forget that night in Mexico