Just before I go on, I have to say… I LOOOOOOVE IICCHIIGOOOO!!!!
OMG! ICHIGO IS JUST SOOOOO AWESOME AND HOT!!! I JUST LoOOVE HIM!!!!

Now that I have that out of my system….

Oh yeah, I'm not going to do that "dialogue" thing anymore… It's too complicated.. and I'm lazy, you know the:

Me: Hiiii Ichigooo!!!!
Ichigo: GET AWAY FROM ME ASIAN!!!! (running away)

Me: (chasing him) But ICHIGO!!!! YOU"RE ASIAN TOOOO!!!!!!

--------------------

Cooking with Rukia

Chapter Two- sushi

(this idea was NOT taken from Agent HUNK, although once again, his fanfics are HILARIOUS)

------------------

Rukia ran unto the stage grinning widely. The audience cheered. Curtsying, she made her way up to her "kitchen."

"Hi! And welcome to my show! CooOOOOKIIIIIIING WITH RUUUKIaAAAAA!!!!!!" she waved.

"Today, we will be inviting Madarame Ikkaku, 11th division shinigami! Yayayay!" Rukia squealed

Ikkaku was dragged kicking and punching onto the stage by two burly looking security guards. "LET GO OF ME DAMMIT!!!" he screamed at them. The frilly apron Alucard was forced to wear was tied messily around his waist which made more than half the audience laugh.

Unfortunately, poor Ikkaku was in a gigai, so his strength was cut down to less than 1/5 of his usual power.

Rukia grabbed Ikkaku and whacked him on both sides of his temples, knocking him out only temporarily. She dragged him over to one of the cabinets and set him there.

Turning back to the audience she smiled sweetly. An apprehensible shiver ran through the crowd and those in the front seats scooted as far back as they could go.

"huh? Wha-?" Ikkaku woke up and jumped to his feet. "YOU!!!! YOU ABDUCTED ME AND BROU-"

Chopping some avocado, she looked up brandishing a large and very intimidating knife. "Yes?" she smiled.

Ikkaku shivered. This was one girl not to be messed with.

Rukia helped Ikkaku up. "Today," she announced," we are going to make sushi! Right? Ikkaku?" She glanced at him.

Ikkaku quivered inwardly. "Right…" he said.

Rukia brought out the various sorts of sashimi (raw fish) and placed them on the table. "When making sushi," she addressed the audience, " you first cut the sashimi into thin slices." Looking at Ikkaku, she gave a knife to him," Madarame-san, would you be nice enough to cut this for me, please?"

Ikkaku nodded. Rukia turned away and walked to the rice cooker. "Before cooking the rice, you should put 60 ml of vinegar, 30 ml of sugar, and 5 ml of salt into the rice."

Rukia went to the pantry and took out several sheets of seaweed. "Then, you should take out your seawe-"

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Ikkaku was furiously cutting the fish into small slices, all the while destroying the cutting board, and the kitchen counter.

Ikkaku's bloodlust rose and was laughing crazily, now wielding houzikamaru, his zanpaktou. He sliced up the fish with deadly accuracy and power. (though his power was only 1/5 of his original power, he's still reaaaaally strong) He succeeded with cutting the fish, but also succeeded in demolishing the kitchen counter.

Nothing but rubble remained except for a chair which Ikkaku destroyed promptly.

Looking around with a crazed look in his eye, Ikkaku searched for more things to "kill." He then proceeded to slice up all the cabinets, ovens, and pans in the room.

When he ran out of things to cut up, he turned to face the audience. The audience evidently found this extremely disturbing. Why else would they run screaming away, fighting to get to the nearest exit?

Rukia looked at the spectacle and sighed. Today was going to be a long, long day...

---------------

I beg of you to review! I reaaallly want you to review! reviewing is for cool people! I know you want to do it! i love you.. did you know that?

lol. anyway... chapter 3 will be up shortly!