N/A This is where it gets sad my friends. Okay a little less then sat and a little more…emotional. ENJOY.

Chapter 5

"What do you mean? Well I know what you mean, just, why ask me now?" Sara was somewhat confused as to what was happening at the current moment in time, and her face generally reflected that. She tried her hardest to smile, but her confusion pulled through.

"I'm asking you to talk to me Sara. If we are in this for the long haul, I wanna know everything about you. I want to know who Sara May Sidle is." Catherine smiled and placed a hand on Sara's cheek. She stared intensely into Sara's dark hazel eyes.

"But Cat, it's pretty horrid, are you sure you want to know?" She leaned into Catherine's touch and smiled back as best as she could without crying over the fact that someone wanted into her past.

"I'm sure Sara. I think as long as you are with me I can handle anything, horrid or not." She leaned forward and gave Sara a small kiss.

"Fine, but can we sit down, this is long."

"Of course, let me throw on some other clothes first." She started towards the bedroom and turned in the door.

"I think I will as well." Sara followed Catherine into the bedroom and started sifting through drawers looking for something to wear over her bikini.

After a few minutes both women emerged from the bedroom. Sara had borrowed Catherine's black sweats that had crosstrainer printed down the side in white and a purple basketball t-shirt from some club Lindsay was in. She gave the shirt to her mom because it was at least four sizes too huge for her little body. Catherine had thrown on a pair of jeans and a plain blue spaghetti strap t-shirt. Catherine followed Sara into the sitting room, and sat opposite her on the couch. Although the couch was huge, there was very little space between them. "Okay Sara, I'm here, and I'm ready."

"Well okay, let's see." She thought for a moment and then looked at Catherine. "When I was little I was in foster care. I was one of those kids being shipped around to different homes wondering if anyone was ever really going to love me." She broke eye contact and looked down. "You were the first person I thought I could really love."

"Why where you in foster care?" Catherine tilted her head to the side but she didn't smile. She was feeling all too sorry for Sara.

"Well, here is where it gets a bit scary. My mom and dad used to fight, and on most occasions my dad would beat my mom, severely. One night my mom got sick of it, and she stabbed my dad to death. After that-" Sara stopped when she felt the tears rush to her eye's again. The tears ran down her face and she put her head in her hands. Catherine suddenly couldn't move, Sara who was strong, who didn't cry, who didn't let thing affect her, was now crying in front of her. Catherine snapped back to reality and instantly wrapped her arms around Sara's body.

"Oh god Sara, shh, it's okay I have you." Catherine rubbed her hands in circles on Sara's back. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to, I'm so sorry I forced you Sara, so sorry." Catherine stayed like that repeating the fact that she was sorry over and over until Sara pulled back.

"No Cat, you want to know, I mean, you have a right to know about my past. You are my girlfriend; therefore you have more right then anyone." Sara paused and whipped the tears from her eyes with shaking hands. "After that my mom became a raging drunk and child services took me away, they said my mom couldn't take care of me anymore. I was always that nerdy kid that no one paid attention to in school, and by the time I got to university, I learned to keep to myself. I was that girl that sat in the back and got high marks. I had no social life because I stayed home and studied. I had no real friends, a few people knew my name, but that was it. When I met Gil, it was a seminar in San Francisco. We went out for coffee afterwards, and I think maybe he was my first real friend. When I came here I thought maybe I could start over, maybe I could make friends, and maybe I could have what I didn't have at home. When I came here, the one person I wanted to be friends with seemed to hate me, and soon enough I became a regular at the bar by my apartment. The beer store knew me by my first name, and my doctor seemed to think of me as a friend on a personal level. I drank what ever I felt away every night, and when I knew for a fact I couldn't feel anything anymore, I sliced my wrists open. I couldn't sleep at night and I pretty much stopped eating all together. I had insomnia and anorexia. I took so many pills I can't even remember all of their names, and I have been to so many therapists I don't know what one was which. The day you told me you were in love with me that was the day everything changed. I started eating, I could sleep at night, and I even got some help about my alcohol problem. I stopped cutting myself, and I even stopped taking most of the pills. My doctor says you most likely saved my life, because I was on the verge of destruction. I owe my whole entire life to you." She looked at Catherine who had a terrified look on her face. "You wanted to know Sara May Sidle, now you do."

"All that happened to you Sara?" Catherine was so shocked she was surprised she even got any words out at all. How could Sara go through all this and still be living?

"I wouldn't tell you if it didn't." Sara looked around the room and then at Catherine. Catherine's head was down and it seemed she was searching for something to say, that or the words had seemed to start registering in her head.

"Why did you let it affect you so much? And how is it that no one ever noticed all this? You would think someone would have noticed. I mean I am so sorry it took me so long to tell you everything, maybe if I told you sooner, I could have helped more." Catherine felt bad, she could have helped and she didn't.

"It's okay Cat, better late then never. You helped me a lot, just by saying you loved me, you helped me, so don't ever think that because of our past, it was your fault. You got that." Sara's strong words touched Catherine's heart once again that day. Catherine smiled and pulled Sara into a hug. "What time is it?" Sara was facing the opposite direction of the clock, so she couldn't tell.

"Time to get ready for work." Catherine made a disgusted noise then stood up and walked into her room.

"I'm going to run home and change and stuff. I'll swing by and pick you up half an hour before shift." She stood up after yelling to Catherine, walked over and leaned on her door frame.

"Do you have to, I mean I know my clothes don't fit you considering that fact that you're a 00 and I'm a 4, but we can make it work." She walked up and placed their hands in one another.

"I have to Cat. Besides, I have to do something, remember half an hour before shift, don't be late.

"Fine, go home, leave me, gosh Sara." Catherine gave Sara a quick kiss and Sara pulled her into a hug. They said their good-byes and I love you's, and Sara was out the door and in her Lexis. She turned on the radio and changed it to her favourite country station. The car was filled with the wordless song Lil' Jack Slade by the Dixie Chicks, and she wondered why exactly they made a song with no words, but decided not to ponder on it too long, she had other things to ponder. Things that were much bigger then all the wordless songs in the world put together. But first she had to go shopping, and then convince everyone to go out for lunch after shift. Shopping was easy, but breakfast might not be quite as simple.

No I Can't Picture Sara Listening to country, But It's MY Favourite Kind Of Music, AND it's my story, SO I put It In There. And Maybe You Know What's Going To Happen, Maybe You Don't, and I'll Leave You To Decide. R&R and tell me what you think is going to happen, IF you get it right, I may message you telling you that you were right on the money, and if you're not, suck it up buttercup.