Chapter Five: I Hate Cats

I lay there on the floor, eyes closed and rolled into fetal position. I want my mother! That evil girl and her stupid cat! I HATE cats!!!

"Prongs? James?"

Ah, Moony the wimp and Padfoot the cowardly have returned, come to see their leader fallen and bleeding on the ground! I didn't answer and lay motionless, if they get a fright, too bad.

"Is he breathing?"

"Yeah, I think so…"

"What do you mean 'I THINK SO'?!?!?!"

"I mean I think he's breathing and as far as I know he is still alive."

"Oh, why didn't you say so?"

A sigh comes from Moony, I understand his frustration, I really do. Sirius is great most of the time but he can be rather…thick shall we say?

"James, get up before Padfoot wets himself."

I roll onto my back, groaning and clutching my bloody shoulder.

"Moony? Is that you?"

"Stop acting and get up. Let's get ou….damn."

"Moony…Remus! What's 'damn'? What's wrong?"

I sat up and saw what 'damn' was.
A little black and white kitten sat on the steps to the girl's dormitory, a smirk on his face if cats can smirk. Can they? I'm not sure…Back to the story.

Sirius was backing towards the boy's dormitories, keeping his eyes on the stairway above the cat's head.

"Glad you're alright James, what say we head up to bed?"

An incredulous look came upon my beautiful face.

"Sirius! It's hardly even dark! And I'm not sleepy!"

He nodded his head back towards the girl's steps.

"Oh I think it would be best for out continuing health and safety to do so right away."

I looked where he indicated and felt my heart do little flippy floppy's. Lily, in all of her glory, stood there, glowering at all of us. I didn't even notice that two of her friends held back the vicious one that attacked me. Wait….back up. Two of her friends holding back the evil one! Yipe! Don't let go, don't let go! I love you all!

Lily looked over her shoulder where I was staring and grinned.

"Katherine, you know how you have been asking me and asking me to be allowed to bite them?"

She nodded, her face was even more evil.

"I think now is a good time. Let 'er rip!"

Margaret and Bridget let go of Katherine who flew towards Remus, the cat chose to attack Sirius. I didn't have anyone attacking me. Yay me! Wait, what's Bridget doing? Ohhhh no. Ohh no no no!

"Listen, Bridget right? You know I've always liked you right? Have I mentioned how nice you look today?"

She just smiled at me and pulled out her wand and pointed it at me, shouting the incantation for the infamous Bat Bogey Hex.

I screamed like a little girl and ran for the stairs, Remus and Sirius limping after me, pursued by some particularly vicious bat bogeys.

Alright, so that didn't work.

"Back to the drawing board boys."

"You think!?" Sirius screeched as he threw the evil kitty out the door and slammed it shut.

The End!

(For now. Plan 368 is still in the process evil grin)