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Disclaimer: No own InuYasha et cetera et cetera.
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Jizen Kaerizaku
Before I Can Return
Chapter 3 - Human: Handle with Care
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As they touched down in Edo near Kagome's hut, a scowling black-haired InuYasha was waiting impatiently for them. Rin dismounted and led Ah-Un to its favorite place, while Kagome took a deep breath and smiled at her first love, "Yes, InuYasha?"
The former hanyou narrowed his eyes, "Where in the hell were you, wench? You just took off without telling anyone where you were going!"
Kagome blinked several times and very rapidly. She hardly saw InuYasha, even though they lived in the same village they would only meet in passing and wave in greeting. She cocked her head, "I never tell you anything, baka, why would I start today? What's gotten into you, anyway?"
The man fidgeted and shifted his weight, "I'm hungry."
Sapphire blue eyes stared, "Um, InuYasha? You know you have a wife to feed you now, right? I did it for years, it's not my job anymore."
"Shekickedmeout," he mumbled, turning wide pleading brown eyes on her and making her gulp and forcibly restrain her instinctual reaction to this, "I accidentally laughed when she waddled, and she yelled and threw things…"
Kikyou was pregnant…again…with their third child, though Kaede was sure it would be twins. Kagome often felt bad for her old friend, because Kikyou was a very moody pregnant woman. She couldn't help but snicker behind her hand, though.
"Oi! What's with that? You're supposed to feel bad and hug me and tell me you'll give me lots of ramen…"
Kagome really rolled her eyes now, her eyes hardening, "There is no ramen, InuYasha. You ate the last ramen four years ago, without asking. Remember now? And for your information, no I will not feed you. You can't be bothered to even stop by to talk to me on a regular day, so why in Kami-sama's name should I feed you just because your wife kicked you out? Go to Kaede or Sango-chan, and leave me alone."
She spun on her heel and marched into her house, but not before she heard his parting words, "It's not my fault the well is closed. Keh, you were better when you could bring ninja food. What is it you do now?"
She bit her lip and smacked the hanging mat shut, plopping onto the ground beside the cold fire pit and willing herself not to cry. She didn't notice her ghostly companion had settled beside her until he spoke, "A friend of yours, was he?"
"At one time," she said softly, looking at her hands, "We were very close, he was my very best friend…and I loved him with all my heart. But since he married her…he can't be bothered to even speak to me anymore. Its been probably three years since we had a real conversation," she shook her head, "It doesn't matter, really. It's in the past."
"That's a pity," he said quietly, "What was he saying about a well?"
She sighed again and looked up at him, only then noticing that though he was still foggy and without features, his outline was much more distinct and he was currently sitting cross legged beside her with his head propped on a hand. She smiled, the trusting feeling she had felt earlier still present and ended up giving the spirit a very truncated version of her life, complete with time travel.
He seemed stunned, "Well, that's something, isn't it? How absolutely extraordinary…" he trailed off for a moment, "So, you're the reincarnation of that young man's wife?"
Kagome cringed and nodded, "Yes, but she was given a new soul when I…" she trailed off and laid on the tatami mat, pursing her lips, "When I accidentally purified the Shikon no Tama."
She looked up as ghostly fingers seemed to graze over her cheek and she smiled, turning to them even as she couldn't feel them, "InuYasha had been so upset after Naraku's defeat, and was planning to go with Kikyou to hell. Miroku's wind tunnel did not disappear when we defeated its cause, instead it just stopped the curse from being passed to another. Sango-chan had to bury Kohaku beside the rest of her family and would hardly speak to anyone. It was a hard time for everyone.
"All three of them were in front of me and from the deepest parts of my soul I wished they could all be happy more than anything else I have ever wanted in my life. InuYasha became human and had a normal life with a newly alive Kikyou. She no longer had her miko abilities but she was happier that way. Miroku was freed and Sango got her brother back, and the two had each other. I was so happy for them…and I meant to go home to my own time and try to be happy knowing they were. But…it was closed, and I can never go back now."
The spirit sighed sadly at the morose girl, "I don't know what to tell you, young miko. But it seems to me that by sealing your well, the fates were trying to tell you that you would be happiest here."
"But how? I'm useless here! What good is the ability to use a computer in a time with no computers? I can read, write, and do math, but no one in this era would take a woman on for a job. Youkai, who do think of women as their equals, are more likely to kill me on sight than need my help for anything. And where I come from, we don't marry for gain, we marry for love. I'm considered so old here, but in my time this is the age people just begin to think of marriage. I don't want to give up my dreams, but I think I will never find a way to any of them."
"Imagine for me that you would have found a way back to your home, miko," he said softly, tilting his head, "Can you really imagine yourself in a world where only you know that youkai exist? You said little of your world, but can you imagine never having to take up arms to defend your home? Never running freely through a forest? Could you find a mate there any easier, and never tell the person you loved of your past?"
Kagome sucked in a breath and held it, realization dawning in her eyes, "Sleep, young miko," Mattaki said gently, "It is late already. In the morning, we shall speak more."
Kagome got to her feet and smiled shakily at the shadow of a man, "Thank you Mattaki. You just gave me peace of mind that no one has been able to in the last five years, not even myself. I am grateful."
She climbed into bed, her new friend watching over her. Mattaki waited until she was asleep and brushed his insubstantial fingertips across her cheek, contemplating the strange woman that he had followed home. He wondered if he should tell her who he was, or if it would make her treat him any differently. He would consider it the next day, and until then smiled and waited.
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