Celibacy
by: Aki Midori
Rating: PG-13
A/N:
Thanks a lot to those who reviewed this fic! And for those who asked, yes, this is an AU fic... okay?
Plus... hey, angel-chan! What are you thinking?! No lemons here! This fic is strictly PG-13. Yeah, I know, it has a horny atmosphere, but no lemons here. I want to see you all suffer... *evil cackle*
Lastly, I know that this fic is kinda like the movie 40 days and 40 nights. I've watched that, too, (a long time ago) and I had the vague impression that you people will ask me whether or not the movie inspired me to write this. Well, the answer is no. What inspired me is the challenge to mix SENDOH and CELIBACY. I mean... Sendoh & Celibacy? Aaaaw, come on!!! Stop fooling around, Midori!
Sendoh: Oi, give me some credit, will ya?
Aki: Heh, you wish. I'll play with your life the way I played with Kaede Jr's life... *evil cackle number two*
Sendoh: If you weren't such a hentai like me, I'd kill you someday. *pout*
Aki: Yare yare... *turns to the readers*
But let's just see, ne, minna?!
Enjoy reading!
dIsCLaimERs:
They don't belong to me.
-----------------------------------------
Celibacy
Chapter One: On Getting Laid
Date Number Five:
"You've heard of Wordsworth, right? I'm sure you have. I've read a lot of his poems, but my favorite is-"
'B-O-R-I-N-G,' Rukawa Kaede thought. 'This woman should be dating a librarian, for crying out loud.'
"And yeah, I'm sure you've heard of William Carlos Williams? He wrote this amazing poem called 'The Red Wheelbarrow'. It was just a whole sentenced chopped into lines, so the whole poem actually looked like four wheelbarrows! Amazing, isn't it?"
"Uh... yeah," Rukawa muttered. He inwardly rolled his eyes and asked himself what the hell's so extraordinary about red wheelbarrows. Oh well, he couldn't care less. Maybe this Williams person is a farmer or something [1].
Who the hell suggested that he date his woman again? Oh... it was Kenji. No wonder. 'Lemme see... one, two, three, four, five. Five dates, each and everyone a disaster. I wonder how much more of this I can take. I want to go home, darn it,' Rukawa thought while the woman ranted on and on about- what is it this time? Oh. Othello.
Rukawa sighed for the twentieth time that night and dropped his head on the table while the woman continued to talk him to death.
'Oh boy,' he thought, 'This is gonna be a long night. Maybe I should get some sleep first. I doubt she'll notice it, anyway.'
--------
Date Number Six:
Rukawa fumed.
Jin had given him a *kid*.
Thick framed glasses, pigtails, braces, yellow sundress... the works.
"Oh, I hope I wouldn't disappoint you!" the girl gushed. "You see, this is my first date and everything and-"
"Ah, how old are you again?" Rukawa mildly interrupted with a gentle smile which made the girl blush. He praised himself for being so goddamn polite and nice when in heaven's truth, he could strangle someone at the moment. May it be this kid or Kogure, he doesn't give a damn.
"I'm fifteen," the girl replied. Had he been any other person, he would have allowed his eyes to nearly bulge out of their sockets, but hey, he's an Ice Prince bastard, so instead of wasting his facial muscles on a look of surprise, he just gave out a small cough. Perfect.
"Oh," was all he allowed himself to say. He took a deep breath and willed his furious soul to calm down. He gave the girl another one of his cool-hunk-smiles and said, "I'm twenty-five, by the way, so maybe we should just uh... buy you an ice cream and maybe we could uh... walk you home."
"But I'm not a kid anymo-"
"Let's go now," Rukawa snapped oh-so-nicely as he stood up and walked towards the exit of the fine-dining restaurant. He made a mental note to strangle his friend for this.
---------
Date Number Seven:
"Hey babe, you're beautiful," the black-haired man said with a sneer. Sure, he was wearing an Armani suit, and he looked expensive, but all Rukawa wanted to do at the moment was to bash this man's oh-so-perfect face.
Sakuragi Hanamichi suggested since he doesn't seem to like girls, maybe a cool hunk would do.
He thought maybe that the do'aho was right.
But Sakuragi Hanamichi, curse that man, had given him a first-class, grade A pervert. A pervert in an Armani suit, but still a pervert.
The man inched closer and whispered in his ear, "Let's get it on tonight, shall we, baby?"
Rukawa gave him his best ice cold glare, sneered and said, "You wish... *baby*."
And with that, he bashed the man's face onto the bar, stood up, and walked out of the club, whistling innocently all the way.
---------
Date Number Eight...
Is late.
'This is the last straw,' Rukawa furiously thought. 'No more dates. To hell with 'enhacing my social life' as Kiminobu had called it.'
He wondered now how the hell he got into this mess in the first place. All he ever wanted was to try to improve his social life. Sometimes, it was just too tiring to be *him*, so maybe he could give dating and relationship a shot. Oh well, not that serious, tie-knotting relationship- he wasn't capable of that, but maybe... well.. a few more acquiantances and social events would do. He's twenty-five years old, ace player of the National Team, popular, good-looking... and alone.
Not that he cared, anyway. It's just that... well.. there were times wherein he was too bored with his life. He doesn't like himself for being such a cold bastard with just a few friends who could barely tolerate him. Maybe if he'd meet a few more people, he would...
He would what?
What's the point of all these anyway?
So what if Hanamichi said that he doesn't have a *life*? He's fine the way he is, thank you very much. And what was that do'aho thinking anyway, pushing him around and making him date weirdos and perverts and who knows what else?
So now, he should just stand up, leave this restaurant, go home, and have a good night's sleep. Athletes need *lots* and *lots* of sleep.
"Hey, handsome," a sultry voice leered behind him. "You're that gorgeous basketball hunk Rukawa Kaede, aren't you?"
Chills ran down his spine.
He turned around slowly, and he just had to congratulate his facial muscles once more for not betraying his surprise and... horrified state.
Spiked hair. Black make-up. Black nail-polish. Chains. Spiked choker. Black body-hugging leather clothes. Spiked boots. Spiked everything.
Rukawa once thought that spikes were cool. But now... he's willing to change his mind.
"You got the wrong person, miss," Rukawa said and made a dash for the exit.
Close friend or not, he'd get Kogure for this.
-------------------
"Oi, I take it from that sullen look that your date didn't go well last night?" Fujima Kenji, captain of the National Team asked as he pushed the cafe's door open and strolled towards a vacant table. Whispers were exchanged as the two popular basketball players gave their orders to a blushing waitress.
"I wasted eight nights on eight dates, darn you," Rukawa snapped and turned to the waitress. He gave her the usual 'Rukawa' stare... cold eyes, hard face, the works. "Cheeseburger for me. No pickles. I hate pickles."
The waitress blushed under Rukawa's stare. It was too intense for her. "Hai!"
Fujima threw Rukawa a reprimanding look and gave the waitress a teasing smile, which made the poor girl blush even more. "I'd love to have iced tea. It's scorching outside, isn't it, miss?"
"Hai!" the girl replied.
"And can you suggest something good to eat? I'm very indecisive today," Fujima said. "But then again, I think I'd rather have cheeseburger as well. See? I'm very indecisive. You'll have to excuse me for that, eh?" he said with a playful wink.
"Ah! I don't mind, sir," the waitress gushed.
"That's it then," Fujima said, with yet *another* smile. The girl nodded and practically skipped towards the counter whilst shouting 'I got to serve Fujima Kenji and Rukawa Kaede!' to her envious co-workers.
"It's their first time here, ne?" the girl at the counter asked.
"Yeah, but I wouldn't mind if they come back again," the waitress who served them replied with a dreamy sigh.
Fujima chuckled and turned to a non-chalant Rukawa. "Okay, so maybe the dates were, uh, unsuccessful. But keep trying, Kaede. Maybe then you'll find someone right," he said.
"What, and get hooked up with a leather-clad bitch? I'd rather marry my cat, thanks very much," Rukawa said, sarcasm obvious in his tone.
Fujima heaved a sigh. Rukawa had been so restless these days, so they thought that maybe if he went out a bit more, he'd be happier. He was such an introvert. Such a cold bastard, too. It was a good thing he grew up with Rukawa and considered him as one of his most treasured friends, or else he wouldn't even spend five minutes with the guy. A pitbull or a shark could be friendlier than his friend.
And here he was, so concerned for his friend and twisting his brain just to make Rukawa happy, while the latter currently drooling at the table, probably hanging out in lala-land again.
He was on the verge of hitting Rukawa's head with the glass vase which was on the table when suddenly, their other cohorts arrived. Heads turned. Eyes turned into hearts. Women blushed and shrieked and sighed. No wonder...
Sakuragi Hanamichi, highly-paid and popular model and cousin of Rukawa Kaede; Kogure Kiminobu best-selling novelist; and Jin Soichiro, one of the executives of a leading publishing company arrived.
"Oi, Kitsune! Nodding off again, aren't ya? Get a life!" he shouted as he pulled Rukawa by the hair and slapped his face again and again, which, of course, earned him a square hit on his face. "Temee!"
"Do'aho," Rukawa muttered.
"Do you have any idea that up until this very moment, I can't accept the fact that you're my first cousin?" Sakuragi asked the now-awake Rukawa. "Look at us! I'm happy and you're miserable! I have an active social *and* sex life and you spend your free time hibernating at any possible place! I-"
"Well, dear cousin, I have a brain, and you don't," Rukawa snapped.
"Bad mood, Kaede?" Jin asked. "I take it that the date didn't go well again?"
"Don't ask," Rukawa muttered. Another waitress arrived this time, and there was a series of flirting and teasing and winking and other stuff which Rukawa roll his eyes over and over again.
"Careful now, you bastard kitsune, or they'll roll right out of your head," Sakuragi teased. Rukawa chose to ignore the moron. He sighed once more and turned his attention to the activities outside the small cafe.
'These are my friends, and they're enough, I guess,' he thought.
"Kaede, are you okay?" Kogure asked. Rukawa glanced at his older friend, nodded, and looked outside again.
The four other guys exchanged worried looks. It's always been this way for their quiet, distant, and cold friend. Somehow, they wanted him to be happy. He seemed contented enough, but hell, he was incomplete. They thought that if he met other people, he could learn to open up and enjoy life, but it seemed as if he's more willing to fall into oblivion than to enhance his social life, but dammit to hell and back, a parrot has more chances of a better social life than Rukawa Kaede.
Sakuragi banged his fist on the table, earning him surprised and annoyed looks from his companions.
"I'm sick and tired of seeing you like that, you cold bastard," Sakuragi exclaimed. "You're so pathetic, dammit! We try so hard to help you, but it's not working! What are you so scared of, anyway? And look at you! Twenty-five years old and still a fucking virgin!"
"Anou.. Hana, people are looking," Jin warned.
"To hell with them! They're nothing but a bunch of puritans, dammit!"
"Oi, baka, virgins don't fuck. That's why they're called 'virgins'," Rukawa calmly stated. Fujima swallowed a chuckle. Kogure and Jin hid their smiles. Sakuragi looked pretty miffed at the moment, and they knew better than to laugh at a miffed Sakuragi. "And yeah, my sex life-"
"Or lack of it," Sakuragi Hanamichi interjected.
"Fine," Rukawa snapped. "My sex life, *or lack of it*, is none of your concern, you dimwit."
"True," Sakuragi said. "But I'm sick and tired of seeing you that way. You're miserable, you're alone, you're... you're... you're not happy with your life! So let's change that, shall we, Mr. Ace-of-the-National-Team?"
"What's gotten into that mind of yours right now?" Kogure asked. He cringed when he saw a reckless and evil glint on Sakuragi's eyes.
"I dare you, Rukawa Kaede, to get yourself laid within a month!" Sakuragi declared. Upon hearing that, Fujima, Jin and Kogure burst out laughing.
"Baka," Fujima said between laughter, "do you honestly think that your idea would change Rukawa's predicament?" He turned serious. "Hana, you have to keep in mind that sex isn't everything. It wouldn't change anything. Rukawa could get laid for all we care, and yet, he could stay that way."
"True, but it would start a change," Sakuragi argued. "And besides, I'm sure Mr. High and Mighty Rukawa Kaede could accept such a simple challenge," he goaded.
Rukawa thought that the idea was plain stupid. Oh well... what does he expect from a moron like his cousin, anyway? Sometimes, he wondered if his aunt's baby got switched with someone else's kid. That's the only way he could end up being Sakuragi's cousin.
"That sounds interesting," Jin said with a smile.
"Oh not you, too," Rukawa groaned.
"Actually, it does sound fun," Kogure added. Fujima, the no-non-sense person of the group, just raised an eyebrow at everyone.
"Does he have to do it with anyone, or should there be a specific person?" Kogure asked. He was grinning widely now. "Because personally, I think it would be more fun if Kaede-kun would seduce a certain person."
Sakuragi's brows knotted in concentration. That sounded like a good idea. But who? Who? Who? And then suddenly, he remembered what his, uh, *friend* told him last night. That cool hunk he met sometime back told him something about...
"I know!" Sakuragi exclaimed. "I dare you, Rukawa Kaede, to seduce Sendoh Akira within a month's time! It'll be easy! And yeah... you went to the same high school, right? So that means you knew each other. Go ahead and seduce him!"
Rukawa blinked. Then he stood up. "I'm off."
Sakuragi sneered. "What... Mr. I-Will-Accept-Whatever-Challenge-You-Give-Me is too scared? Too shy, I suppose? Too innocent and virginal?"
"Shut up, Sakuragi," Rukawa said, his blood starting to boil at the moment.
"Matte, isn't Sendoh Akira one of the top executives of Happy Smile Advertising Inc? I know him. He's a full-time libertine," Kogure said.
"Plus, he's straight," Fujima supplied.
"All the more exciting for us to see our kitsune seduce the hell outta him," Sakuragi said with a smirk. Inwardly, he wished that Rukawa would accept his dare. He desperately wanted his cousin and bestfriend to open up to life. Getting laid is not the answer, but he figured that if he pushed Rukawa towards a certain person, something good could come out of it. And besides, he heard that Sendoh Akira's having some problems with his life right now. Something about looking for *something more* or something like that, and that he's practicing celibacy right now. But oh well, he wouldn't say that teeny-weeny fact to Rukawa. Maybe he could pair up these two, er, confused souls.
He looked at Rukawa who, at the moment, was contemplating whether he should kill Sakuragi right now, or be contented with just hitting that empty head with the glass vase on the table. Not that there would be any damage on his brain when he did that. Sakuragi's brain, if he had any (as far as Rukawa was concerned), was already damaged from the day he was born.
Sakuragi smiled. Rukawa needed a few more persuation...
"Oi, kitsune," Sakuragi started, "I bet you that you can't do this simple dare. It's so simple. All you gotta do is to seduce that hentai libertine, get laid, and go on with you life! What's so hard about that? Or are you such a chicken?"
Rukawa gave him a scowl. Sakuragi smiled inwardly. More, he thought.
"I bet-"
"Hana, that's enough," Kogure said. "If Kaede doesn't want to do it, then he doesn't have to."
"Oh, okay," Sakuragi said. "I'll shut up now. I don't blame Kaede if he's too high and mighty for doing such a simple dare. Or maybe he's shy and virginal and naive-"
"Shut up, Sakuragi Hanamichi," Rukawa snapped, a vein popping in his forehead.
"What, did I say anything that bruised your inflated ego?" Sakuragi goaded. The other guys were contemplating on whether they'd run out of the cafe because of the heavy atmosphere, or they'd try to stop a potential wrestling match. The former seemed the perfect choice, considering how electric sparks flew between the two bickering guys.
"I'll do it," Rukawa stated. Sakuragi grinned. The others sighed in relief when they saw that *NO* wrestling match is coming.
"Deal," Sakuragi said. "One month, kitsune, that's all the time you'll have."
"Fine," Rukawa snapped. Suddenly, his cell phone rang and he spent a few minutes fighting with the person on the other line. After he delivered the final insult, he turned his phone off.
"Who is it this time?" Fujima asked, knowing full well that the caller was one of Rukawa's elder sisters.
"Megumi-neechan," Rukawa replied.
"That drill sergeant? What the hell does she want this time?" Sakuragi asked.
"Wants me to fix the broken pipes or some other bullshit," Rukawa replied. He gathered his things and started to walk away. "I'm off."
"Kaede-kun, what about your food?" Jin asked.
"You guys eat it. I don't want to mess with Megumi today. She'll bite my head off," Rukawa replied. He started to walk away again when Sakuragi reminded him of the deal.
"Oi! Don't forget... One month!"
"Yare yare..." Rukawa muttered as he walked out of the cafe, bumping into a certain black-haired guy with long, unruly hair and a face which resembled that of a wild monkey. He ignored the 'Watch it!' demand of the man and walked towards his home, a.k.a. 'hell on earth'.
"We'll be watching!" Sakuragi shouted for the last time and finally settled on his seat. He saw a familiar man walking towards him and gave out a huge smile. "Nobu!"
"Oi, Hana," Kiyota greeted as he gave Sakuragi a quick peck on the cheek and turned to three befuddled guys.
"Where did you meet this one, Hana?" Jin asked.
"That's not important," Sakuragi said with a wave of his hand and gestured for Kiyota to sit at the vacant chair. "He's one of Sendoh Akira's best friends, by the way."
"Hey, guys, I'm Kiyota Nobunaga, by the way," he said smoothly. "Nice to meet you handsome hunks."
"A charmer, too," Fujima said. There was a series of introductions which could have made Rukawa's eyes roll again, and then Kiyota asked,
"So, what's up?"
The four guys smiled.
Sakuragi cleared his throat. "You see, we have a friend called Rukawa Kaede and..."
**********
tzu.zu.ku
**********
[1] Hey, don't get me wrong, minna. I respect William Carlos Williams a lot. He's one of my favorite poets. It's just that.. well... in this fic, I'd rather have Rukawa *not* knowing a thing about Williams. ^_^
Pretty lame chapter... but hey... the hentai madness is starting! Will Rukawa be able to pull it off? Seduce a celibate hentai... ha!
Reviews, please... They fuel my power... Ehehehehe...
by: Aki Midori
Rating: PG-13
A/N:
Thanks a lot to those who reviewed this fic! And for those who asked, yes, this is an AU fic... okay?
Plus... hey, angel-chan! What are you thinking?! No lemons here! This fic is strictly PG-13. Yeah, I know, it has a horny atmosphere, but no lemons here. I want to see you all suffer... *evil cackle*
Lastly, I know that this fic is kinda like the movie 40 days and 40 nights. I've watched that, too, (a long time ago) and I had the vague impression that you people will ask me whether or not the movie inspired me to write this. Well, the answer is no. What inspired me is the challenge to mix SENDOH and CELIBACY. I mean... Sendoh & Celibacy? Aaaaw, come on!!! Stop fooling around, Midori!
Sendoh: Oi, give me some credit, will ya?
Aki: Heh, you wish. I'll play with your life the way I played with Kaede Jr's life... *evil cackle number two*
Sendoh: If you weren't such a hentai like me, I'd kill you someday. *pout*
Aki: Yare yare... *turns to the readers*
But let's just see, ne, minna?!
Enjoy reading!
dIsCLaimERs:
They don't belong to me.
-----------------------------------------
Celibacy
Chapter One: On Getting Laid
Date Number Five:
"You've heard of Wordsworth, right? I'm sure you have. I've read a lot of his poems, but my favorite is-"
'B-O-R-I-N-G,' Rukawa Kaede thought. 'This woman should be dating a librarian, for crying out loud.'
"And yeah, I'm sure you've heard of William Carlos Williams? He wrote this amazing poem called 'The Red Wheelbarrow'. It was just a whole sentenced chopped into lines, so the whole poem actually looked like four wheelbarrows! Amazing, isn't it?"
"Uh... yeah," Rukawa muttered. He inwardly rolled his eyes and asked himself what the hell's so extraordinary about red wheelbarrows. Oh well, he couldn't care less. Maybe this Williams person is a farmer or something [1].
Who the hell suggested that he date his woman again? Oh... it was Kenji. No wonder. 'Lemme see... one, two, three, four, five. Five dates, each and everyone a disaster. I wonder how much more of this I can take. I want to go home, darn it,' Rukawa thought while the woman ranted on and on about- what is it this time? Oh. Othello.
Rukawa sighed for the twentieth time that night and dropped his head on the table while the woman continued to talk him to death.
'Oh boy,' he thought, 'This is gonna be a long night. Maybe I should get some sleep first. I doubt she'll notice it, anyway.'
--------
Date Number Six:
Rukawa fumed.
Jin had given him a *kid*.
Thick framed glasses, pigtails, braces, yellow sundress... the works.
"Oh, I hope I wouldn't disappoint you!" the girl gushed. "You see, this is my first date and everything and-"
"Ah, how old are you again?" Rukawa mildly interrupted with a gentle smile which made the girl blush. He praised himself for being so goddamn polite and nice when in heaven's truth, he could strangle someone at the moment. May it be this kid or Kogure, he doesn't give a damn.
"I'm fifteen," the girl replied. Had he been any other person, he would have allowed his eyes to nearly bulge out of their sockets, but hey, he's an Ice Prince bastard, so instead of wasting his facial muscles on a look of surprise, he just gave out a small cough. Perfect.
"Oh," was all he allowed himself to say. He took a deep breath and willed his furious soul to calm down. He gave the girl another one of his cool-hunk-smiles and said, "I'm twenty-five, by the way, so maybe we should just uh... buy you an ice cream and maybe we could uh... walk you home."
"But I'm not a kid anymo-"
"Let's go now," Rukawa snapped oh-so-nicely as he stood up and walked towards the exit of the fine-dining restaurant. He made a mental note to strangle his friend for this.
---------
Date Number Seven:
"Hey babe, you're beautiful," the black-haired man said with a sneer. Sure, he was wearing an Armani suit, and he looked expensive, but all Rukawa wanted to do at the moment was to bash this man's oh-so-perfect face.
Sakuragi Hanamichi suggested since he doesn't seem to like girls, maybe a cool hunk would do.
He thought maybe that the do'aho was right.
But Sakuragi Hanamichi, curse that man, had given him a first-class, grade A pervert. A pervert in an Armani suit, but still a pervert.
The man inched closer and whispered in his ear, "Let's get it on tonight, shall we, baby?"
Rukawa gave him his best ice cold glare, sneered and said, "You wish... *baby*."
And with that, he bashed the man's face onto the bar, stood up, and walked out of the club, whistling innocently all the way.
---------
Date Number Eight...
Is late.
'This is the last straw,' Rukawa furiously thought. 'No more dates. To hell with 'enhacing my social life' as Kiminobu had called it.'
He wondered now how the hell he got into this mess in the first place. All he ever wanted was to try to improve his social life. Sometimes, it was just too tiring to be *him*, so maybe he could give dating and relationship a shot. Oh well, not that serious, tie-knotting relationship- he wasn't capable of that, but maybe... well.. a few more acquiantances and social events would do. He's twenty-five years old, ace player of the National Team, popular, good-looking... and alone.
Not that he cared, anyway. It's just that... well.. there were times wherein he was too bored with his life. He doesn't like himself for being such a cold bastard with just a few friends who could barely tolerate him. Maybe if he'd meet a few more people, he would...
He would what?
What's the point of all these anyway?
So what if Hanamichi said that he doesn't have a *life*? He's fine the way he is, thank you very much. And what was that do'aho thinking anyway, pushing him around and making him date weirdos and perverts and who knows what else?
So now, he should just stand up, leave this restaurant, go home, and have a good night's sleep. Athletes need *lots* and *lots* of sleep.
"Hey, handsome," a sultry voice leered behind him. "You're that gorgeous basketball hunk Rukawa Kaede, aren't you?"
Chills ran down his spine.
He turned around slowly, and he just had to congratulate his facial muscles once more for not betraying his surprise and... horrified state.
Spiked hair. Black make-up. Black nail-polish. Chains. Spiked choker. Black body-hugging leather clothes. Spiked boots. Spiked everything.
Rukawa once thought that spikes were cool. But now... he's willing to change his mind.
"You got the wrong person, miss," Rukawa said and made a dash for the exit.
Close friend or not, he'd get Kogure for this.
-------------------
"Oi, I take it from that sullen look that your date didn't go well last night?" Fujima Kenji, captain of the National Team asked as he pushed the cafe's door open and strolled towards a vacant table. Whispers were exchanged as the two popular basketball players gave their orders to a blushing waitress.
"I wasted eight nights on eight dates, darn you," Rukawa snapped and turned to the waitress. He gave her the usual 'Rukawa' stare... cold eyes, hard face, the works. "Cheeseburger for me. No pickles. I hate pickles."
The waitress blushed under Rukawa's stare. It was too intense for her. "Hai!"
Fujima threw Rukawa a reprimanding look and gave the waitress a teasing smile, which made the poor girl blush even more. "I'd love to have iced tea. It's scorching outside, isn't it, miss?"
"Hai!" the girl replied.
"And can you suggest something good to eat? I'm very indecisive today," Fujima said. "But then again, I think I'd rather have cheeseburger as well. See? I'm very indecisive. You'll have to excuse me for that, eh?" he said with a playful wink.
"Ah! I don't mind, sir," the waitress gushed.
"That's it then," Fujima said, with yet *another* smile. The girl nodded and practically skipped towards the counter whilst shouting 'I got to serve Fujima Kenji and Rukawa Kaede!' to her envious co-workers.
"It's their first time here, ne?" the girl at the counter asked.
"Yeah, but I wouldn't mind if they come back again," the waitress who served them replied with a dreamy sigh.
Fujima chuckled and turned to a non-chalant Rukawa. "Okay, so maybe the dates were, uh, unsuccessful. But keep trying, Kaede. Maybe then you'll find someone right," he said.
"What, and get hooked up with a leather-clad bitch? I'd rather marry my cat, thanks very much," Rukawa said, sarcasm obvious in his tone.
Fujima heaved a sigh. Rukawa had been so restless these days, so they thought that maybe if he went out a bit more, he'd be happier. He was such an introvert. Such a cold bastard, too. It was a good thing he grew up with Rukawa and considered him as one of his most treasured friends, or else he wouldn't even spend five minutes with the guy. A pitbull or a shark could be friendlier than his friend.
And here he was, so concerned for his friend and twisting his brain just to make Rukawa happy, while the latter currently drooling at the table, probably hanging out in lala-land again.
He was on the verge of hitting Rukawa's head with the glass vase which was on the table when suddenly, their other cohorts arrived. Heads turned. Eyes turned into hearts. Women blushed and shrieked and sighed. No wonder...
Sakuragi Hanamichi, highly-paid and popular model and cousin of Rukawa Kaede; Kogure Kiminobu best-selling novelist; and Jin Soichiro, one of the executives of a leading publishing company arrived.
"Oi, Kitsune! Nodding off again, aren't ya? Get a life!" he shouted as he pulled Rukawa by the hair and slapped his face again and again, which, of course, earned him a square hit on his face. "Temee!"
"Do'aho," Rukawa muttered.
"Do you have any idea that up until this very moment, I can't accept the fact that you're my first cousin?" Sakuragi asked the now-awake Rukawa. "Look at us! I'm happy and you're miserable! I have an active social *and* sex life and you spend your free time hibernating at any possible place! I-"
"Well, dear cousin, I have a brain, and you don't," Rukawa snapped.
"Bad mood, Kaede?" Jin asked. "I take it that the date didn't go well again?"
"Don't ask," Rukawa muttered. Another waitress arrived this time, and there was a series of flirting and teasing and winking and other stuff which Rukawa roll his eyes over and over again.
"Careful now, you bastard kitsune, or they'll roll right out of your head," Sakuragi teased. Rukawa chose to ignore the moron. He sighed once more and turned his attention to the activities outside the small cafe.
'These are my friends, and they're enough, I guess,' he thought.
"Kaede, are you okay?" Kogure asked. Rukawa glanced at his older friend, nodded, and looked outside again.
The four other guys exchanged worried looks. It's always been this way for their quiet, distant, and cold friend. Somehow, they wanted him to be happy. He seemed contented enough, but hell, he was incomplete. They thought that if he met other people, he could learn to open up and enjoy life, but it seemed as if he's more willing to fall into oblivion than to enhance his social life, but dammit to hell and back, a parrot has more chances of a better social life than Rukawa Kaede.
Sakuragi banged his fist on the table, earning him surprised and annoyed looks from his companions.
"I'm sick and tired of seeing you like that, you cold bastard," Sakuragi exclaimed. "You're so pathetic, dammit! We try so hard to help you, but it's not working! What are you so scared of, anyway? And look at you! Twenty-five years old and still a fucking virgin!"
"Anou.. Hana, people are looking," Jin warned.
"To hell with them! They're nothing but a bunch of puritans, dammit!"
"Oi, baka, virgins don't fuck. That's why they're called 'virgins'," Rukawa calmly stated. Fujima swallowed a chuckle. Kogure and Jin hid their smiles. Sakuragi looked pretty miffed at the moment, and they knew better than to laugh at a miffed Sakuragi. "And yeah, my sex life-"
"Or lack of it," Sakuragi Hanamichi interjected.
"Fine," Rukawa snapped. "My sex life, *or lack of it*, is none of your concern, you dimwit."
"True," Sakuragi said. "But I'm sick and tired of seeing you that way. You're miserable, you're alone, you're... you're... you're not happy with your life! So let's change that, shall we, Mr. Ace-of-the-National-Team?"
"What's gotten into that mind of yours right now?" Kogure asked. He cringed when he saw a reckless and evil glint on Sakuragi's eyes.
"I dare you, Rukawa Kaede, to get yourself laid within a month!" Sakuragi declared. Upon hearing that, Fujima, Jin and Kogure burst out laughing.
"Baka," Fujima said between laughter, "do you honestly think that your idea would change Rukawa's predicament?" He turned serious. "Hana, you have to keep in mind that sex isn't everything. It wouldn't change anything. Rukawa could get laid for all we care, and yet, he could stay that way."
"True, but it would start a change," Sakuragi argued. "And besides, I'm sure Mr. High and Mighty Rukawa Kaede could accept such a simple challenge," he goaded.
Rukawa thought that the idea was plain stupid. Oh well... what does he expect from a moron like his cousin, anyway? Sometimes, he wondered if his aunt's baby got switched with someone else's kid. That's the only way he could end up being Sakuragi's cousin.
"That sounds interesting," Jin said with a smile.
"Oh not you, too," Rukawa groaned.
"Actually, it does sound fun," Kogure added. Fujima, the no-non-sense person of the group, just raised an eyebrow at everyone.
"Does he have to do it with anyone, or should there be a specific person?" Kogure asked. He was grinning widely now. "Because personally, I think it would be more fun if Kaede-kun would seduce a certain person."
Sakuragi's brows knotted in concentration. That sounded like a good idea. But who? Who? Who? And then suddenly, he remembered what his, uh, *friend* told him last night. That cool hunk he met sometime back told him something about...
"I know!" Sakuragi exclaimed. "I dare you, Rukawa Kaede, to seduce Sendoh Akira within a month's time! It'll be easy! And yeah... you went to the same high school, right? So that means you knew each other. Go ahead and seduce him!"
Rukawa blinked. Then he stood up. "I'm off."
Sakuragi sneered. "What... Mr. I-Will-Accept-Whatever-Challenge-You-Give-Me is too scared? Too shy, I suppose? Too innocent and virginal?"
"Shut up, Sakuragi," Rukawa said, his blood starting to boil at the moment.
"Matte, isn't Sendoh Akira one of the top executives of Happy Smile Advertising Inc? I know him. He's a full-time libertine," Kogure said.
"Plus, he's straight," Fujima supplied.
"All the more exciting for us to see our kitsune seduce the hell outta him," Sakuragi said with a smirk. Inwardly, he wished that Rukawa would accept his dare. He desperately wanted his cousin and bestfriend to open up to life. Getting laid is not the answer, but he figured that if he pushed Rukawa towards a certain person, something good could come out of it. And besides, he heard that Sendoh Akira's having some problems with his life right now. Something about looking for *something more* or something like that, and that he's practicing celibacy right now. But oh well, he wouldn't say that teeny-weeny fact to Rukawa. Maybe he could pair up these two, er, confused souls.
He looked at Rukawa who, at the moment, was contemplating whether he should kill Sakuragi right now, or be contented with just hitting that empty head with the glass vase on the table. Not that there would be any damage on his brain when he did that. Sakuragi's brain, if he had any (as far as Rukawa was concerned), was already damaged from the day he was born.
Sakuragi smiled. Rukawa needed a few more persuation...
"Oi, kitsune," Sakuragi started, "I bet you that you can't do this simple dare. It's so simple. All you gotta do is to seduce that hentai libertine, get laid, and go on with you life! What's so hard about that? Or are you such a chicken?"
Rukawa gave him a scowl. Sakuragi smiled inwardly. More, he thought.
"I bet-"
"Hana, that's enough," Kogure said. "If Kaede doesn't want to do it, then he doesn't have to."
"Oh, okay," Sakuragi said. "I'll shut up now. I don't blame Kaede if he's too high and mighty for doing such a simple dare. Or maybe he's shy and virginal and naive-"
"Shut up, Sakuragi Hanamichi," Rukawa snapped, a vein popping in his forehead.
"What, did I say anything that bruised your inflated ego?" Sakuragi goaded. The other guys were contemplating on whether they'd run out of the cafe because of the heavy atmosphere, or they'd try to stop a potential wrestling match. The former seemed the perfect choice, considering how electric sparks flew between the two bickering guys.
"I'll do it," Rukawa stated. Sakuragi grinned. The others sighed in relief when they saw that *NO* wrestling match is coming.
"Deal," Sakuragi said. "One month, kitsune, that's all the time you'll have."
"Fine," Rukawa snapped. Suddenly, his cell phone rang and he spent a few minutes fighting with the person on the other line. After he delivered the final insult, he turned his phone off.
"Who is it this time?" Fujima asked, knowing full well that the caller was one of Rukawa's elder sisters.
"Megumi-neechan," Rukawa replied.
"That drill sergeant? What the hell does she want this time?" Sakuragi asked.
"Wants me to fix the broken pipes or some other bullshit," Rukawa replied. He gathered his things and started to walk away. "I'm off."
"Kaede-kun, what about your food?" Jin asked.
"You guys eat it. I don't want to mess with Megumi today. She'll bite my head off," Rukawa replied. He started to walk away again when Sakuragi reminded him of the deal.
"Oi! Don't forget... One month!"
"Yare yare..." Rukawa muttered as he walked out of the cafe, bumping into a certain black-haired guy with long, unruly hair and a face which resembled that of a wild monkey. He ignored the 'Watch it!' demand of the man and walked towards his home, a.k.a. 'hell on earth'.
"We'll be watching!" Sakuragi shouted for the last time and finally settled on his seat. He saw a familiar man walking towards him and gave out a huge smile. "Nobu!"
"Oi, Hana," Kiyota greeted as he gave Sakuragi a quick peck on the cheek and turned to three befuddled guys.
"Where did you meet this one, Hana?" Jin asked.
"That's not important," Sakuragi said with a wave of his hand and gestured for Kiyota to sit at the vacant chair. "He's one of Sendoh Akira's best friends, by the way."
"Hey, guys, I'm Kiyota Nobunaga, by the way," he said smoothly. "Nice to meet you handsome hunks."
"A charmer, too," Fujima said. There was a series of introductions which could have made Rukawa's eyes roll again, and then Kiyota asked,
"So, what's up?"
The four guys smiled.
Sakuragi cleared his throat. "You see, we have a friend called Rukawa Kaede and..."
**********
tzu.zu.ku
**********
[1] Hey, don't get me wrong, minna. I respect William Carlos Williams a lot. He's one of my favorite poets. It's just that.. well... in this fic, I'd rather have Rukawa *not* knowing a thing about Williams. ^_^
Pretty lame chapter... but hey... the hentai madness is starting! Will Rukawa be able to pull it off? Seduce a celibate hentai... ha!
Reviews, please... They fuel my power... Ehehehehe...