Celibacy
by: Aki Midori
autumn_wind04@yahoo.com
Homepages:
Eccentricity (personal homepage): *under construction!*
Zero Hour (co-own with Sapphi-chan, SenRuSen shrine): www.geocities.com/rusen_0hour
Author's Dreaded Blahs:
QUESTION! Do you, or do you not dread my blahs???
Blah blah blah blah blah... BLAH!
O~okay... I'll go stop 'blah'ing now... Onto Celibacy!
diScLaiMers: Not mine. Not yours, either, I'm sure... ^_~
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Celibacy
Chapter Eight: I Quit
"Neechan, I don't think this will be necessary."
"Bullshit, Kaede. You lost the game. I kicked your ass. Now go ahead."
"I don't think it would look... uh... okay."
"To hell with looking okay! Go on!"
"Oh, look, neechan, no one's there. Let's go back home."
"Are you chickening out on me, Kaede?"
"Absolutely not. But there aren't any people at the shop, so let's go."
"Come on, you're not gonna lose anything! In fact, you're gonna look so damn good!"
"I don't want to look 'so damn good', neechan. I'm fine the way I am. Come on, let's go."
"Oi... You tired of living already?" *crunches knuckles*
*blink* "Uh... on the other hand, I think having an ear pierced is a good idea. Let's go in."
"Hn. Glad you know who's the boss."
Ten minutes later, Rukawa Kaede walked out of the shop with a little silver hoop glittering on his left ear. Megumi was smirking smugly as he passed an arm around her otouto's shoulders.
"Naa, Kaede... another round of Tekken 3? You're gonna have to get Sendoh's name tatooed on your butt if you lose."
----------------------------
Rukawa scratched his ear for the tenth time that day. Hell, he never knew these stupid hoops itched. He's been avoiding lustful glances all day, and he's really annoyed with those heart-eyed women drooling over him. Yeah, so he got his ear pierced. So what? No big deal! It's just a stupid damn hoop.
"Oi! That's Rukawa Kaede, right?" a voiced said in a loud whisper. Veins popped in Rukawa's head.
'Why don't you /whisper/ a bit louder?' Rukawa thought. 'I'm sure the Republic of Congo would have loved to hear you.''
"Look! Aaaaw, he's gotten his ear pierced! Damn, but he looked sexier than ever!"
More heart-shaped eyes and oggling girls. And boys.
Bah!
It's not as if he wanted this. To hell with that Tekken game! He was so sure he'd win! Rukawa grumbled as he stood up from his spot at the usual cafe and walked out. Thank heavens Megumi decided to go back home. He doesn't want another round of torture from the undertaker herself. And yeah... he declined the last challenge, too. To hell with being called a chicken. He's *not* gonna have Sendoh's name tatooed on his butt even if Megumi killed him right here, right now.
He was alone today, miracle of miracles. Rukawa sighed as he recalled what his friends told him earlier. Fujima was going out to watch The Little Mermaid with Maki. Kogure and Mitsui were no doubt showering a certain part of the city with smooches and sweet nothings. Blech. His cousin has another VTR and Kiyota's with him. Lastly, Jin took Koshino to the neighborhood park.
"To loosen him up," Jin explained to a non-caring Rukawa earlier. Yeah right. As far as Rukawa was concerned, loosening up that grumpy dolt would be like trying to convince Buttercup to wear a mascara. Or ordering a penguin to bark. Or-
Oh, to hell with his sarcasm.
"Thursday afternoon, and everyone's slacking off somewhere," Rukawa muttered. He scratched his left ear once again and turned left on the next street and entered his favorite public court.
But then again, what the hell should he do at a damned court without a damned ball? Stare at the damned ring?
"It's so quiet today," Rukawa yet again told himself. He plopped down on one of the benches, and wondered why the hell he hadn't thought of bringing his ball. So he did what he could do at the moment. He stared at the basketball ring.
And stared at it.
And stared at it.
What a mundane person. Maybe he should try measuring the court, for lack of a better activity.
He continued to stare at the ring.
And stare some more.
Until finally, he saw Sendoh's face hovering just above it. And oh, he's got that beautiful smile, that handsome face, that gravity-defying jet-black hair... so handsome. So cool. Rukawa almost smiled, but instead of doing so, his eyes just widened as reality slapped him in the face.
Sendoh once again invaded his thoughts whilst he was in the middle of his joyous activity of staring at the basketball ring. Funny how Sendoh's face could pop out from anywhere. Why just recently, he just imagined Sendoh's handsome face while he was looking at a gray duck. And a toilet bowl display. And a water fountain with a marble statue of a peeing angel.
Images of Sendoh smiling at him at different occasions flashed through Rukawa's mind, and for reasons Rukawa doesn't want to know, his heart fluttered. Rukawa desperately tried to think of some other things so he diverted his attention towards the bushes.
Hmmm... interesting bushes. Oh, and the leaves are green, too! Green... and... healthy. Yeah. Just like Sendoh's shirt last Sunday when they were-
"Aaargh! Damn you, Sendoh! Get out of my mind!" Rukawa cried out. Now... if anyone else had been there, wouldn't they think that Rukawa acted so uncharacteristically? But Rukawa doesn't care. He grabbed his head and pounded it with his fist. "Out! Out! Out!"
But Sendoh wouldn't obey, much to the poor Ice Man's dismay. Instead of going away, an image of Sendoh holding out a pretty little shell with the most beautiful smile Rukawa has ever seen passed through Rukawa's mind.
/Little things... could make you happy...
From me to you...
So when you've had another shitty day...
you'd be happy...
A remembrance...
of this happy day.../
Rukawa cautiously looked left and right, as if he was afraid anyone would see what he was going to do. Uh-huh... kinda like a hidden conspiracy or something. Once more, he scanned the area for any possible intruders, and when he found none, he reached into his pocket...
... and pulled out a little, but pretty shell.
His day had been shitty, alright. First, he had to be rudely awaken by Fujima's phone call to tell him that basketball session has been cancelled. He was still lamenting his lost sleep when Megumi challenged him to a game. He just had to accept Megumi's Tekken challenge and that stupid bet because Megumi called him a chicken. If he won, Megumi would leave him alone for the whole week. It would be the best reward he'll ever receive. If he lost, however, he'd have his left ear pierced. He fought so valiantly as he practically harassed his controller until his fingers went numb. He lost, anyway, dammit. Now, his ear itched, those women annoyed him, he left his basketball at home, and his mind is racing with Sendoh's images.
How much worse could all these get?
However... there's the shell... and Rukawa smiled as he toyed with it. He remembered those times when he and Sendoh were so happy together. He never felt a more peaceful moment. Rukawa closed his eyes pressed the shell to his ear and tried to imagine the sound of the splashing water and the hum of the gentle sea breeze...
/Little things could make you happy/
Little things... simple things... like Ayako's loving, warm hug, and Kirei's soft and gentle kiss. Little things, like Megumi's friendly punch and the games they play. Little things... like the awful card with the crooked heart and a stick girl which says 'I Love You Very Much, 'Niichan!' Shinri made for him, just because she wanted to. Little things like Miku's freshly baked cake which says 'To Darling Kaede, With Love'. Little things like the postcard Jin sent to him yesterday, just because he thought Rukawa would have loved the design. Little things, like Hanamichi's late-night calls which never failed to make him laugh. Little things, like Fujima's warm praise after a grueling practice. Little things, like Kogure's warm smiles and encouraging words...
Little things which he never appreciated before. Now that he thought about it, those are the little things that could make him happy.
/A remembrance of this happy day.../
Rukawa closed his eyes and when he opened them, he was back at Eden. His hand was once again in Sendoh's warm hand, and there was a smile on his face. He was on the sand once again, building huge sand castles and decorating them with tiny shells. He was listening to one of Sendoh's funny stories, and he was laughing once again. The sea breeze was blowing his fringes away from his face, and the sun was setting behind the mountains. Sendoh's warm voice rang in his ears, and his song was once again playing in Rukawa's mind.
Rukawa opened his eyes and looked at the shell in his palm. . . and he smiled.
"Sendoh, what have you done to me?" Rukawa whispered, his smile fading. "Why won't you get out of my mind? Why can't I stop thinking about you?"
Yeah right... What, he's softening up, already? Rukawa closed his fingers over the shell and roughly shoved it back in his pocket. What, so he's falling for Sendoh's dashing, debonaire smile? No way. He's alone. He *wanted* to be alone. He doesn't want to have goo-goo eyes like his love-sick friends. He doesn't want to go mushy-mushy with someone, much less an idiot like Sendoh Akira. He doesn't want to feel all flustered whenever he thought of someone. And he certainly doesn't want to think of someone special while he's looking at an innocent green toilet bowl!
He doesn't want to have the feelings he was having now. It's scaring him, dammit. He's not used to it. He's used to a mundane life. A hellish life with his sisters. A troublesome life with his friends. He doesn't want to have his heart beating fast whenever he thought of someone. He doesn't want to own someone, or to be possessed by someone. The thought of it simply terrifies the hell out of him.
He wanted to be alone.
He looked outside the court and saw a couple holding on to each other with so much love. Rukawa snorted. 'Go try out for an audition,' he thought. 'Both of you will be perfect for Titanic 2.' No way Rukawa would want anyone to hold him like that. No way... no way... no way...
But an image of Sendoh and himself locked in a warm embrace flashed his mind, and then he thought that maybe... just maybe, he wanted to feel those warm arms around him.
Rukawa shook his head. No way... no way... no way...
"Mama, mama! Look! That guy with the silver earring's talking to himself! Why does he do that, mama?"
Rukawa fumed. Damn impudent little kid.
"Now, now, Kyosuke-chan... don't be so rude. I'm sure he has his reasons as to why he... uh... wanted to entertain himself," the elderly woman explained. A humongous pitbull barked in agreement.
"Even Pom-pom agrees, mama!"
"Yes... now let's go now, honey."
Rukawa fought the urge to strangle both mother and son... and the dog called Pom-pom, too. Good thing they started to go on their pathetic ways. Rukawa could barely hear the twerp's annoying high-pitched voice as they walked away.
"Mama, mama! Do you think we're going to see Hercules again today?"
Rukawa rolled his eyes. Geez, if he wanted to see Hercules that bad, why don't he ask his mama to go buy him tickets and go to Greece? He stood up and started to walk towards his house. Oh well, back to the hellhouse.
He shoved his hands inside his jean pockets and felt the shell. As though it was an inevitable thing to happen, Sendoh's face once again popped in his mind and his heart started to beat furiously.
'Admit it, Rukawa,' he berated himself, 'you've fallen in love with Sendoh, and there's nothing you can do about it.'
True... so very true.
Rukawa's 'Super Barriers Around the Heart' system couldn't stop those feelings. It couldn't protect him from those scary feelings. Ch... useless piece of junk. Now, what will Rukawa do? He kicked a pebble as he realized that he's more vulnerable than he's ever been before.
He doesn't want to fall in love. If he's in love already, then he doesn't want to continue it. It scares him to death. Yeah, so he's happy when he's with Sendoh. But for how long would that last? To love means to take great risks, and he couldn't do that. He doesn't /know/ how to do that. No one told him how to. No one taught him.
No more bullshit.
He quickened his pace and headed towards home with one thought in his mind.
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"Bullshit! I'm dying!"
"Eat my dust, ahou."
"Take it easy, man! Hey! Why are you so mad, dammit?! Hey, don't beat me!"
"We're playing, Hana. I'm supposed to beat you."
A few more kicks and combo punches and Hanamichi's character was lying sprawled on the ground. Rukawa gave him a smug look. "Having fun with Mr. Gingerbread Man, Hana?"
"Hey, he's not the reason why I lost," Sakuragi protested. "He's delicious. Good food inspires me to win."
"Yeah right."
"Quit being sarcastic, would ya?" Sakuragi snapped. He grinned when he finally noticed hoop on Rukawa's left ear and whistled. "Vava-voom! You look ravishing! I didn't notice your earring, Kaede!"
"I didn't expect you to."
"Temee!" Sakuragi growled and sighed. "No, I won't let you destroy my perfect day! Ch'. When did you get that, anyway?"
"Earlier this morning," Rukawa replied. "Lost to Megumi-neechan's bet."
Sakuragi snickered. "Wait till Sendoh sees that!"
Sendoh... Rukawa's spine stiffened at the mere mention of Sendoh's name. Dammit, while he was on his way home earlier, he couldn't think of anyone else. He doesn't want to think of anyone that much! It's too tiring! He'd rather think of round orange balls thumping against a smooth, well-polished court.
How very interesting.
Oh well... time to drop the bomb.
"Oi, Hana."
"What? You want a bite of Mr. Gingerbread Man?"
"Do'aho. You can shove that down your throat and choke to death and I'd just get a popcorn and watch you die," Rukawa said. Sakuragi was about to retort when Rukawa stopped him with a firm look. "Oi... about the dare."
"What about it? You're progressing quite nicely, right?"
"I quit."
"You- WHAT?!" Sakuragi exclaimed. He scratched his head in frustration as he plopped down on Rukawa's bed and furiously munched on his gingerbread man.
"I said, I quit," Rukawa stated one more time. He crossed his arms in his chest and glared at the densest person which walked the earth's crust.
"Why the hell would yo do such a thing?" Sakuragi demanded. "I thought things are going well between you and Sendoh?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Rukawa replied. "Oh... and I've decided not to see him again after tomorrow, too."
"What?!"
"Did something happen to your ears, or is your brain too empty to register such simple words?" Rukawa snapped.
"But Kaede, I thought you like him already!" Sakuragi protested as he swallowed the last bite of the cookie. "Dammit, Kaede, I've never seen you this happy before. Sendoh Akira makes you happy! Why the hell wouldn't you want to see him anymore? Why the hell would you want to quit?"
"Look, if you wanted to get laid, it's fine with me," Rukawa seethed, "but don't involve me. You're the one who got me into this mess in the first place, Hana. My life has become such a hell, I don't know what to do anymore. I quit, Hanamichi, and I don't care whether you call me a chicken or a duck or whatever comes to your stupid mind. Fuck pride. I don't care anymore. I quit."
"But what about Sendoh, then?" Sakuragi asked. "You could still see him even if-"
"If you're so adamant about it, then why don't *YOU* see him and bed him?" Rukawa interrupted.
"Would you mind telling me why, then?" Sakuragi asked. "I thought I could finally see you happy and settled. I've been waiting for this thing to happen ever since we were kids. I only pushed you towards Sendoh because I-"
"Look at this mess you started, Hanamichi," Rukawa interrupted again. "Look at me now and tell me if I'm happy."
"You were happy back when we were at the beach," Sakuragi retorted. "You look fine and contented and at peace, and quite frankly, I've never seen you that way before. The problem with you is that you're too scared to admit your own-"
"Out, Hana."
"What, you can't accept it? That you're scared to-"
"Out."
"Come on, Kaede. I only want you to be-"
"Out!" Rukawa said again as he roughly pulled Sakuragi off his bed and shoved him out of his room. He slammed the door on his bewildered cousin's face and marched towards his phone. He furiously dialled a number which he had come to know so well and waited for someone to answer the phone.
"Hello! Sendoh Akira speaking, and I'm in love with the National Team's Ace!"
"Sendoh. I'd meet you tomorrow at the same court at four."
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Ohgodohgodohgod... He's going to see Rukawa in exactly four minutes! For the first time in his life, Sendoh Akira wasn't late. He practically clapped his heels when Rukawa called him last night. Oh, sweet joy! Today is the day! He's going to confess his feelings for Rukawa today. It would be an auspiscious moment in the entire history of Kanagawa- no- Japan!
Okay... fine... so there was the minor slip-up last night. It was one hell of a greeting, and he could practically *hear* Rukawa stiffen when he answered the phone. No one could blame him! He thought it was Koshino! They were scheduled to have a friendly chat last night, and he was going to tease Koshino with that certain greeting. It turned out to be Rukawa instead.
Sendoh couldn't stop himself from giggling. Oh dammit, he looked like a lovesick twit! He doesn't care, though. It's kinda good to hear Rukawa's voice after he just went through a hard time at work.
One, two, three, four... He hadn't seen Rukawa for four days. Heavens, how he missed him! Sendoh gave out a luxurious sigh as he arranged the bouquet of daisies in his hand. Daisies are happy flowers. No doubt it could make Rukawa very happy. Sendoh couldn't wait.
He adjusted his Eeyore tie and dusted an imaginary flint in his shirt. He had to look his best today. His hair is stiffer than usual, his smile is brighter than usual, his clothes are more carefully-chosen than usual, his shoes are shinier than usual. Add a bouquet of a dozen daisies to that dashing get-up and what do you get?
Mr. Perfect.
Sendoh grinned. One more minute. Might as well rehearse what he's going to say. He opened his mouth to speak but a dog beat him to it.
This time around, Sendoh sighed. He knew he didn't have to bring his dog along, but since that traumatic experience with Pom-pom, well, he just have to bring protection, ne? Yeah... so what if he's dog's tiny compared to that beast? Surely a poodle could hold up against a pitbull in a fight, ne? He bent down and picked his dog as he nuzzled his nose into the soft brown fur.
"You wouldn't know what I'm feeling right now," Sendoh said with a dramatic shake of his spiky head. The poodle barked in what Sendoh interpreted as sympathy. "Yes, buddy, I know I have to tell him soon, but you see, he's pretty cold. I'm scared." The poodle barked furiously. Sendoh interpreted it as a vigorous encouragement. "You think so, buddy? Thank you! I'll keep that in mind."
"Cute dog."
"Rukawa-kun!" Sendoh exclaimed. He turned around and saw Rukawa walking down the court in simple basketball attire. Sendoh forgot the procedures of breathing altogher. Rukawa looked /stunning/. But... he looked different today. Sendoh couldn't quite place his finger on it. His brows furrowed in deep thought. Sure, Rukawa looked as handsome as ever. Same unruly jet-black hair nearly covering his smouldering blue eyes. Same pale complexion which seemed to glow whenever he did something with burning passion. Same tall, lean body with the right bunch of muscles and the right curves. What could be different?
"Quit staring."
What could be different? Rukawa looked sexier than ever. He suddenly had this bad boy look which made Sendoh want to pounce him then and there. Rukawa's appeal seemed much more irresistble. Sendoh swallowed loudly.
And then he saw it.
That tiny, sexy silver hoop in Rukawa's left ear.
He nearly squealed. But not before he furiously willed his *tool* (for lack of a more discreet word, again) to calm down. Rukawa Kaede looked so... sexy. Delectable. Yum. "Rukawa-kun, that's awesome! It looks so good on you! Wherever did you get the idea-"
"Certainly *not* my idea," Rukawa snapped.
Uh-oh. Not in a very good mood today, eh? Sendoh decided to change his approach. He walked over to Rukawa and handed him the bouquet of daisies. "For you."
"What for?"
"I thought these could make you happy," Sendoh replied. For a moment, Rukawa lost all coherent thoughts. His perfectly rehearsed speech about not seeing Sendoh anymore flew out of his mind. All he could see was whole perfection which was Sendoh.
Come to think of it. Nothing's so special about a man donned in an elegant office attire who holds out a bouquet of daisies on one hand and a squirming brown poodle at the other. But this very man was the one who could cause tiny warm feelings stir all over Rukawa's body. Rukawa automatically reached out for those flowers and nearly smiled.
But dammit, he just have to remember his purpose. He silently prayed that his 'Super Barriers Around the Heart' system wouldn't let him down this time. He had to protect himself from any possible intruders. As quickly as it arrived, the warm fuzzy feelings dissipated, and once again, Rukawa's heart pumped cold blood. He opened his mouth to start his speech but the stupid poodle yelped first.
Rukawa wanted to strangle those stupid curls out of that stupid poodle. He gave the poodle on of his meanest glares but the poodle glared back. Hn. Stubborn little twerp. Rukawa nearly smiled. Stubborn... but cute.
"What's his name?" Rukawa found himself asking.
Sendoh beamed. "Inu-chan!"
Rukawa gave him a blank stare. "Like duh. And I suppose you have a cat named Neko-chan?"
Sendoh laughed. "Rukawa-kun, the things you say never fail to crack me up." He quickly motioned for them to sit down at one of the benches, but Rukawa shook his head. He's fine the way he is, thanks very much. For a moment, silence just filled the area. Poor little Inu-chan, completely confused as to why his Akira-niichan brought him here. Little Inu-chan decided to behave, though, and just watch the spectacle unfolding before his puppy eyes.
"I have something to tell you," both Rukawa and Sendoh blurted out at the same time.
"Uh... you first, then," Sendoh said with a smile.
'Dammit, stop smiling!' Rukawa wanted to say. 'You're making this hard for me!'
"Go on, now, Rukawa-kun," Sendoh urged. Inu-chan yelped in agreement. Now, are these two treating Rukawa like a twit, or what?
Rukawa took a deep breath. Why was he doing this again? What exactly are the reasons? Oh. He had to distance himself from Sendoh to stop these unwanted feelings. He's not prepared to feel these things. He was used to feeling *nothing*. No more stupid seduction schemes. No more happy moments. After this, his life would be peaceful once again. No more thinking of Sendoh, no more fuzzy feelings. He'd go back to the life he was used to.
It's safer that way.
"Sendoh, listen and listen well," Rukawa started. "I'm sure you've been quite happy while spending time with me-"
"Happy is an under-"
"Don't interrupt, ahou'."
"Shutting up."
"Where was I? Oh. You've been happy. And I've been happy too, in a way. But I have to tell you now that I never really wanted this to happen."
"Wha-"
"I never really wanted to spend time with you in the first place."
Sendoh felt his chest constricting. "Then why did you do it?"
"I was dared to seduce you," Rukawa stated, his face dead-pan as ever, but each word stung to him as much as it stung to Sendoh. "My dense cousin thought that I could change, that I could be happier if he pushed me towards someone. That was why you could find me so pushy and flirty at times. But then, I couldn't take it anymore, all this cheap bullshit. I quit."
"Then... all these... it was just a ploy to seduce me?"
"Hai."
Sendoh felt his world going down on him. He knew all along that Rukawa was hiding something, but he never thought that the latter was just *forced* to spend time with him. Those sneers, those winks, those gestures... were they all *planned*? Well then, what about the smiles? The happy moments? Those stories they shared? What about their days at Eden?
Those were all... lies?
"I quitted already, Sendoh," Rukawa said, breaking Sendoh's thoughts. "I don't have any reason to see you anymore. I think this whole seduction scheme is bullshit. I never really wanted to accept it in the first place, but my pride pushed me to do so. And now I can't take it anymore. Whatever we had before, it's over."
/It's over./
It rang on and on and on in Sendoh's head. On and on and on. Over... over... over... Images of Rukawa's peaceful face ran around Sendoh
Poor little Inu-chan. Currently being strangled to death, much to the little puppy's dismay.
"You're hurting your dog," Rukawa said.
Sendoh snapped back to reality and released the dog. Inu-chan sighed out in relief.
"Rukawa-kun..."
"It's true, Sendoh. I don't want to see you again," Rukawa said a tad too harshly. He reached into his pocket and handed Sendoh the little shell. "I don't need this anymore."
Sendoh just stood there, eyeing the shell with a broken heart.
Silence ensued... then finally,
"No."
"Pardon?"
"I won't let you go."
"Sendoh-"
"I understand that you have to accept the dare because of your pride," Sendoh started, his face more serious than ever. "I accept the fact that you were forced to be with me. You quitted because of reasons that I don't, and may not ever know, but quitting the dare doesn't mean you have to stop spending time with me."
"Don't push it, Sendoh. I don't want to see you again."
"Why?"
Why, indeed? Rukawa doesn't want to tell Sendoh that he's falling in love with him. Now... what to tell Sendoh? "You look stupid."
"Sakuragi looks stupider."
True. Now what? "You annoy me."
"Sakuragi annoys you more."
Oops. Another point for Sendoh. Rukawa's palms were sweating. He decided to keep quiet. It works all the time.
"Rukawa-kun, look at me now and tell me that you weren't happy when you were spending those times with me. Tell me that those smiles, those peaceful looks, those laughters were all fake. Tell me that the shell doesn't mean anything to you."
Rukawa looked away and stubbornly refused to talk.
"You're happy with me, Rukawa-kun," Sendoh argued. "I don't care about the dare. I don't care if you were just forced to spend some time with me. The important thing is that *I* can make you happy. Don't let these all go."
"You don't know me. How could you say that *you're* the one who can make me happy?"
"I just know."
"Do'aho."
Sendoh bit his lip. Rukawa looked as if he really doesn't want to see him anymore. But he had to give this a try, or else he'd regret it for the rest of his life. He thought of Kirei-neechan's loving look whenever she talked about Rukawa.
/I'm thinking that if anybody could pull Kaede out of his dark, dark world, it would be you./
Sendoh wouldn't give up until he tried. Rukawa's just scared, he told himself over and over again. Sendoh would never give up. He'd reach out to Rukawa with all his might. Rukawa never knew how to reach out... he never knew how to love. Sendoh would teach him. The seven heavens and celibacy be damned.
"Rukawa-kun," Sendoh started, his voice all serious, his face all determined. Rukawa took a step backwards. Perhaps he couldn't get rid of Sendoh that easy. "You already told me what you wanted to say. I believe it's my turn."
Rukawa fought the urge to raise an eyebrow. After all, he's trying to be damned expressionless here. "Hurry up and get this over and done with. I want to go home." He didn't even know that he was still holding out the shell until Sendoh closed his palm over his hand and pushed it back towards him. That would explain why his arm was kinda aching.
"Keep the shell," Sendoh said softly, his blue eyes boring holes into Rukawa's. "I gave it to you."
And Rukawa found himself putting the shell back in his pocket.
"I have a few things to tell you," Sendoh said as he led them both towards the benches. "Please listen to what I have to say, Rukawa-kun, and think about it. I know I look stupid with this tiny poodle in my hand, but I've never been more serious in my entire life."
"What is it?"
"Rukawa-kun, I love you."
Rukawa now resembles a flag pole. What the hell-
"Shut up, Sendoh. I told you already, I don't want to see you anymore."
"I love you," Sendoh said again.
"I don't love you." It was a lash. Rukawa almost winced at his own harsh lie, but Sendoh didn't even falter.
"Well, then... that's fine with me. I'm going to make you fall in love with me, then."
**********
tsu.zu.ku
**********
Cliffhanger.
Pretty serious, ne? I'm trying to write this fic as lightly as I could, what with it being a humor fic and all...
More diScLAiMErS: The Little Mermaid is property of Walt Disney, Inc. (Am I right?), Buttercup's not mine, so's Eeyore.
Aki: *still drooling at the sight of Rukawa with a silver hoop on his ear*
by: Aki Midori
autumn_wind04@yahoo.com
Homepages:
Eccentricity (personal homepage): *under construction!*
Zero Hour (co-own with Sapphi-chan, SenRuSen shrine): www.geocities.com/rusen_0hour
Author's Dreaded Blahs:
QUESTION! Do you, or do you not dread my blahs???
Blah blah blah blah blah... BLAH!
O~okay... I'll go stop 'blah'ing now... Onto Celibacy!
diScLaiMers: Not mine. Not yours, either, I'm sure... ^_~
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Celibacy
Chapter Eight: I Quit
"Neechan, I don't think this will be necessary."
"Bullshit, Kaede. You lost the game. I kicked your ass. Now go ahead."
"I don't think it would look... uh... okay."
"To hell with looking okay! Go on!"
"Oh, look, neechan, no one's there. Let's go back home."
"Are you chickening out on me, Kaede?"
"Absolutely not. But there aren't any people at the shop, so let's go."
"Come on, you're not gonna lose anything! In fact, you're gonna look so damn good!"
"I don't want to look 'so damn good', neechan. I'm fine the way I am. Come on, let's go."
"Oi... You tired of living already?" *crunches knuckles*
*blink* "Uh... on the other hand, I think having an ear pierced is a good idea. Let's go in."
"Hn. Glad you know who's the boss."
Ten minutes later, Rukawa Kaede walked out of the shop with a little silver hoop glittering on his left ear. Megumi was smirking smugly as he passed an arm around her otouto's shoulders.
"Naa, Kaede... another round of Tekken 3? You're gonna have to get Sendoh's name tatooed on your butt if you lose."
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Rukawa scratched his ear for the tenth time that day. Hell, he never knew these stupid hoops itched. He's been avoiding lustful glances all day, and he's really annoyed with those heart-eyed women drooling over him. Yeah, so he got his ear pierced. So what? No big deal! It's just a stupid damn hoop.
"Oi! That's Rukawa Kaede, right?" a voiced said in a loud whisper. Veins popped in Rukawa's head.
'Why don't you /whisper/ a bit louder?' Rukawa thought. 'I'm sure the Republic of Congo would have loved to hear you.''
"Look! Aaaaw, he's gotten his ear pierced! Damn, but he looked sexier than ever!"
More heart-shaped eyes and oggling girls. And boys.
Bah!
It's not as if he wanted this. To hell with that Tekken game! He was so sure he'd win! Rukawa grumbled as he stood up from his spot at the usual cafe and walked out. Thank heavens Megumi decided to go back home. He doesn't want another round of torture from the undertaker herself. And yeah... he declined the last challenge, too. To hell with being called a chicken. He's *not* gonna have Sendoh's name tatooed on his butt even if Megumi killed him right here, right now.
He was alone today, miracle of miracles. Rukawa sighed as he recalled what his friends told him earlier. Fujima was going out to watch The Little Mermaid with Maki. Kogure and Mitsui were no doubt showering a certain part of the city with smooches and sweet nothings. Blech. His cousin has another VTR and Kiyota's with him. Lastly, Jin took Koshino to the neighborhood park.
"To loosen him up," Jin explained to a non-caring Rukawa earlier. Yeah right. As far as Rukawa was concerned, loosening up that grumpy dolt would be like trying to convince Buttercup to wear a mascara. Or ordering a penguin to bark. Or-
Oh, to hell with his sarcasm.
"Thursday afternoon, and everyone's slacking off somewhere," Rukawa muttered. He scratched his left ear once again and turned left on the next street and entered his favorite public court.
But then again, what the hell should he do at a damned court without a damned ball? Stare at the damned ring?
"It's so quiet today," Rukawa yet again told himself. He plopped down on one of the benches, and wondered why the hell he hadn't thought of bringing his ball. So he did what he could do at the moment. He stared at the basketball ring.
And stared at it.
And stared at it.
What a mundane person. Maybe he should try measuring the court, for lack of a better activity.
He continued to stare at the ring.
And stare some more.
Until finally, he saw Sendoh's face hovering just above it. And oh, he's got that beautiful smile, that handsome face, that gravity-defying jet-black hair... so handsome. So cool. Rukawa almost smiled, but instead of doing so, his eyes just widened as reality slapped him in the face.
Sendoh once again invaded his thoughts whilst he was in the middle of his joyous activity of staring at the basketball ring. Funny how Sendoh's face could pop out from anywhere. Why just recently, he just imagined Sendoh's handsome face while he was looking at a gray duck. And a toilet bowl display. And a water fountain with a marble statue of a peeing angel.
Images of Sendoh smiling at him at different occasions flashed through Rukawa's mind, and for reasons Rukawa doesn't want to know, his heart fluttered. Rukawa desperately tried to think of some other things so he diverted his attention towards the bushes.
Hmmm... interesting bushes. Oh, and the leaves are green, too! Green... and... healthy. Yeah. Just like Sendoh's shirt last Sunday when they were-
"Aaargh! Damn you, Sendoh! Get out of my mind!" Rukawa cried out. Now... if anyone else had been there, wouldn't they think that Rukawa acted so uncharacteristically? But Rukawa doesn't care. He grabbed his head and pounded it with his fist. "Out! Out! Out!"
But Sendoh wouldn't obey, much to the poor Ice Man's dismay. Instead of going away, an image of Sendoh holding out a pretty little shell with the most beautiful smile Rukawa has ever seen passed through Rukawa's mind.
/Little things... could make you happy...
From me to you...
So when you've had another shitty day...
you'd be happy...
A remembrance...
of this happy day.../
Rukawa cautiously looked left and right, as if he was afraid anyone would see what he was going to do. Uh-huh... kinda like a hidden conspiracy or something. Once more, he scanned the area for any possible intruders, and when he found none, he reached into his pocket...
... and pulled out a little, but pretty shell.
His day had been shitty, alright. First, he had to be rudely awaken by Fujima's phone call to tell him that basketball session has been cancelled. He was still lamenting his lost sleep when Megumi challenged him to a game. He just had to accept Megumi's Tekken challenge and that stupid bet because Megumi called him a chicken. If he won, Megumi would leave him alone for the whole week. It would be the best reward he'll ever receive. If he lost, however, he'd have his left ear pierced. He fought so valiantly as he practically harassed his controller until his fingers went numb. He lost, anyway, dammit. Now, his ear itched, those women annoyed him, he left his basketball at home, and his mind is racing with Sendoh's images.
How much worse could all these get?
However... there's the shell... and Rukawa smiled as he toyed with it. He remembered those times when he and Sendoh were so happy together. He never felt a more peaceful moment. Rukawa closed his eyes pressed the shell to his ear and tried to imagine the sound of the splashing water and the hum of the gentle sea breeze...
/Little things could make you happy/
Little things... simple things... like Ayako's loving, warm hug, and Kirei's soft and gentle kiss. Little things, like Megumi's friendly punch and the games they play. Little things... like the awful card with the crooked heart and a stick girl which says 'I Love You Very Much, 'Niichan!' Shinri made for him, just because she wanted to. Little things like Miku's freshly baked cake which says 'To Darling Kaede, With Love'. Little things like the postcard Jin sent to him yesterday, just because he thought Rukawa would have loved the design. Little things, like Hanamichi's late-night calls which never failed to make him laugh. Little things, like Fujima's warm praise after a grueling practice. Little things, like Kogure's warm smiles and encouraging words...
Little things which he never appreciated before. Now that he thought about it, those are the little things that could make him happy.
/A remembrance of this happy day.../
Rukawa closed his eyes and when he opened them, he was back at Eden. His hand was once again in Sendoh's warm hand, and there was a smile on his face. He was on the sand once again, building huge sand castles and decorating them with tiny shells. He was listening to one of Sendoh's funny stories, and he was laughing once again. The sea breeze was blowing his fringes away from his face, and the sun was setting behind the mountains. Sendoh's warm voice rang in his ears, and his song was once again playing in Rukawa's mind.
Rukawa opened his eyes and looked at the shell in his palm. . . and he smiled.
"Sendoh, what have you done to me?" Rukawa whispered, his smile fading. "Why won't you get out of my mind? Why can't I stop thinking about you?"
Yeah right... What, he's softening up, already? Rukawa closed his fingers over the shell and roughly shoved it back in his pocket. What, so he's falling for Sendoh's dashing, debonaire smile? No way. He's alone. He *wanted* to be alone. He doesn't want to have goo-goo eyes like his love-sick friends. He doesn't want to go mushy-mushy with someone, much less an idiot like Sendoh Akira. He doesn't want to feel all flustered whenever he thought of someone. And he certainly doesn't want to think of someone special while he's looking at an innocent green toilet bowl!
He doesn't want to have the feelings he was having now. It's scaring him, dammit. He's not used to it. He's used to a mundane life. A hellish life with his sisters. A troublesome life with his friends. He doesn't want to have his heart beating fast whenever he thought of someone. He doesn't want to own someone, or to be possessed by someone. The thought of it simply terrifies the hell out of him.
He wanted to be alone.
He looked outside the court and saw a couple holding on to each other with so much love. Rukawa snorted. 'Go try out for an audition,' he thought. 'Both of you will be perfect for Titanic 2.' No way Rukawa would want anyone to hold him like that. No way... no way... no way...
But an image of Sendoh and himself locked in a warm embrace flashed his mind, and then he thought that maybe... just maybe, he wanted to feel those warm arms around him.
Rukawa shook his head. No way... no way... no way...
"Mama, mama! Look! That guy with the silver earring's talking to himself! Why does he do that, mama?"
Rukawa fumed. Damn impudent little kid.
"Now, now, Kyosuke-chan... don't be so rude. I'm sure he has his reasons as to why he... uh... wanted to entertain himself," the elderly woman explained. A humongous pitbull barked in agreement.
"Even Pom-pom agrees, mama!"
"Yes... now let's go now, honey."
Rukawa fought the urge to strangle both mother and son... and the dog called Pom-pom, too. Good thing they started to go on their pathetic ways. Rukawa could barely hear the twerp's annoying high-pitched voice as they walked away.
"Mama, mama! Do you think we're going to see Hercules again today?"
Rukawa rolled his eyes. Geez, if he wanted to see Hercules that bad, why don't he ask his mama to go buy him tickets and go to Greece? He stood up and started to walk towards his house. Oh well, back to the hellhouse.
He shoved his hands inside his jean pockets and felt the shell. As though it was an inevitable thing to happen, Sendoh's face once again popped in his mind and his heart started to beat furiously.
'Admit it, Rukawa,' he berated himself, 'you've fallen in love with Sendoh, and there's nothing you can do about it.'
True... so very true.
Rukawa's 'Super Barriers Around the Heart' system couldn't stop those feelings. It couldn't protect him from those scary feelings. Ch... useless piece of junk. Now, what will Rukawa do? He kicked a pebble as he realized that he's more vulnerable than he's ever been before.
He doesn't want to fall in love. If he's in love already, then he doesn't want to continue it. It scares him to death. Yeah, so he's happy when he's with Sendoh. But for how long would that last? To love means to take great risks, and he couldn't do that. He doesn't /know/ how to do that. No one told him how to. No one taught him.
No more bullshit.
He quickened his pace and headed towards home with one thought in his mind.
----------------------------
"Bullshit! I'm dying!"
"Eat my dust, ahou."
"Take it easy, man! Hey! Why are you so mad, dammit?! Hey, don't beat me!"
"We're playing, Hana. I'm supposed to beat you."
A few more kicks and combo punches and Hanamichi's character was lying sprawled on the ground. Rukawa gave him a smug look. "Having fun with Mr. Gingerbread Man, Hana?"
"Hey, he's not the reason why I lost," Sakuragi protested. "He's delicious. Good food inspires me to win."
"Yeah right."
"Quit being sarcastic, would ya?" Sakuragi snapped. He grinned when he finally noticed hoop on Rukawa's left ear and whistled. "Vava-voom! You look ravishing! I didn't notice your earring, Kaede!"
"I didn't expect you to."
"Temee!" Sakuragi growled and sighed. "No, I won't let you destroy my perfect day! Ch'. When did you get that, anyway?"
"Earlier this morning," Rukawa replied. "Lost to Megumi-neechan's bet."
Sakuragi snickered. "Wait till Sendoh sees that!"
Sendoh... Rukawa's spine stiffened at the mere mention of Sendoh's name. Dammit, while he was on his way home earlier, he couldn't think of anyone else. He doesn't want to think of anyone that much! It's too tiring! He'd rather think of round orange balls thumping against a smooth, well-polished court.
How very interesting.
Oh well... time to drop the bomb.
"Oi, Hana."
"What? You want a bite of Mr. Gingerbread Man?"
"Do'aho. You can shove that down your throat and choke to death and I'd just get a popcorn and watch you die," Rukawa said. Sakuragi was about to retort when Rukawa stopped him with a firm look. "Oi... about the dare."
"What about it? You're progressing quite nicely, right?"
"I quit."
"You- WHAT?!" Sakuragi exclaimed. He scratched his head in frustration as he plopped down on Rukawa's bed and furiously munched on his gingerbread man.
"I said, I quit," Rukawa stated one more time. He crossed his arms in his chest and glared at the densest person which walked the earth's crust.
"Why the hell would yo do such a thing?" Sakuragi demanded. "I thought things are going well between you and Sendoh?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Rukawa replied. "Oh... and I've decided not to see him again after tomorrow, too."
"What?!"
"Did something happen to your ears, or is your brain too empty to register such simple words?" Rukawa snapped.
"But Kaede, I thought you like him already!" Sakuragi protested as he swallowed the last bite of the cookie. "Dammit, Kaede, I've never seen you this happy before. Sendoh Akira makes you happy! Why the hell wouldn't you want to see him anymore? Why the hell would you want to quit?"
"Look, if you wanted to get laid, it's fine with me," Rukawa seethed, "but don't involve me. You're the one who got me into this mess in the first place, Hana. My life has become such a hell, I don't know what to do anymore. I quit, Hanamichi, and I don't care whether you call me a chicken or a duck or whatever comes to your stupid mind. Fuck pride. I don't care anymore. I quit."
"But what about Sendoh, then?" Sakuragi asked. "You could still see him even if-"
"If you're so adamant about it, then why don't *YOU* see him and bed him?" Rukawa interrupted.
"Would you mind telling me why, then?" Sakuragi asked. "I thought I could finally see you happy and settled. I've been waiting for this thing to happen ever since we were kids. I only pushed you towards Sendoh because I-"
"Look at this mess you started, Hanamichi," Rukawa interrupted again. "Look at me now and tell me if I'm happy."
"You were happy back when we were at the beach," Sakuragi retorted. "You look fine and contented and at peace, and quite frankly, I've never seen you that way before. The problem with you is that you're too scared to admit your own-"
"Out, Hana."
"What, you can't accept it? That you're scared to-"
"Out."
"Come on, Kaede. I only want you to be-"
"Out!" Rukawa said again as he roughly pulled Sakuragi off his bed and shoved him out of his room. He slammed the door on his bewildered cousin's face and marched towards his phone. He furiously dialled a number which he had come to know so well and waited for someone to answer the phone.
"Hello! Sendoh Akira speaking, and I'm in love with the National Team's Ace!"
"Sendoh. I'd meet you tomorrow at the same court at four."
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Ohgodohgodohgod... He's going to see Rukawa in exactly four minutes! For the first time in his life, Sendoh Akira wasn't late. He practically clapped his heels when Rukawa called him last night. Oh, sweet joy! Today is the day! He's going to confess his feelings for Rukawa today. It would be an auspiscious moment in the entire history of Kanagawa- no- Japan!
Okay... fine... so there was the minor slip-up last night. It was one hell of a greeting, and he could practically *hear* Rukawa stiffen when he answered the phone. No one could blame him! He thought it was Koshino! They were scheduled to have a friendly chat last night, and he was going to tease Koshino with that certain greeting. It turned out to be Rukawa instead.
Sendoh couldn't stop himself from giggling. Oh dammit, he looked like a lovesick twit! He doesn't care, though. It's kinda good to hear Rukawa's voice after he just went through a hard time at work.
One, two, three, four... He hadn't seen Rukawa for four days. Heavens, how he missed him! Sendoh gave out a luxurious sigh as he arranged the bouquet of daisies in his hand. Daisies are happy flowers. No doubt it could make Rukawa very happy. Sendoh couldn't wait.
He adjusted his Eeyore tie and dusted an imaginary flint in his shirt. He had to look his best today. His hair is stiffer than usual, his smile is brighter than usual, his clothes are more carefully-chosen than usual, his shoes are shinier than usual. Add a bouquet of a dozen daisies to that dashing get-up and what do you get?
Mr. Perfect.
Sendoh grinned. One more minute. Might as well rehearse what he's going to say. He opened his mouth to speak but a dog beat him to it.
This time around, Sendoh sighed. He knew he didn't have to bring his dog along, but since that traumatic experience with Pom-pom, well, he just have to bring protection, ne? Yeah... so what if he's dog's tiny compared to that beast? Surely a poodle could hold up against a pitbull in a fight, ne? He bent down and picked his dog as he nuzzled his nose into the soft brown fur.
"You wouldn't know what I'm feeling right now," Sendoh said with a dramatic shake of his spiky head. The poodle barked in what Sendoh interpreted as sympathy. "Yes, buddy, I know I have to tell him soon, but you see, he's pretty cold. I'm scared." The poodle barked furiously. Sendoh interpreted it as a vigorous encouragement. "You think so, buddy? Thank you! I'll keep that in mind."
"Cute dog."
"Rukawa-kun!" Sendoh exclaimed. He turned around and saw Rukawa walking down the court in simple basketball attire. Sendoh forgot the procedures of breathing altogher. Rukawa looked /stunning/. But... he looked different today. Sendoh couldn't quite place his finger on it. His brows furrowed in deep thought. Sure, Rukawa looked as handsome as ever. Same unruly jet-black hair nearly covering his smouldering blue eyes. Same pale complexion which seemed to glow whenever he did something with burning passion. Same tall, lean body with the right bunch of muscles and the right curves. What could be different?
"Quit staring."
What could be different? Rukawa looked sexier than ever. He suddenly had this bad boy look which made Sendoh want to pounce him then and there. Rukawa's appeal seemed much more irresistble. Sendoh swallowed loudly.
And then he saw it.
That tiny, sexy silver hoop in Rukawa's left ear.
He nearly squealed. But not before he furiously willed his *tool* (for lack of a more discreet word, again) to calm down. Rukawa Kaede looked so... sexy. Delectable. Yum. "Rukawa-kun, that's awesome! It looks so good on you! Wherever did you get the idea-"
"Certainly *not* my idea," Rukawa snapped.
Uh-oh. Not in a very good mood today, eh? Sendoh decided to change his approach. He walked over to Rukawa and handed him the bouquet of daisies. "For you."
"What for?"
"I thought these could make you happy," Sendoh replied. For a moment, Rukawa lost all coherent thoughts. His perfectly rehearsed speech about not seeing Sendoh anymore flew out of his mind. All he could see was whole perfection which was Sendoh.
Come to think of it. Nothing's so special about a man donned in an elegant office attire who holds out a bouquet of daisies on one hand and a squirming brown poodle at the other. But this very man was the one who could cause tiny warm feelings stir all over Rukawa's body. Rukawa automatically reached out for those flowers and nearly smiled.
But dammit, he just have to remember his purpose. He silently prayed that his 'Super Barriers Around the Heart' system wouldn't let him down this time. He had to protect himself from any possible intruders. As quickly as it arrived, the warm fuzzy feelings dissipated, and once again, Rukawa's heart pumped cold blood. He opened his mouth to start his speech but the stupid poodle yelped first.
Rukawa wanted to strangle those stupid curls out of that stupid poodle. He gave the poodle on of his meanest glares but the poodle glared back. Hn. Stubborn little twerp. Rukawa nearly smiled. Stubborn... but cute.
"What's his name?" Rukawa found himself asking.
Sendoh beamed. "Inu-chan!"
Rukawa gave him a blank stare. "Like duh. And I suppose you have a cat named Neko-chan?"
Sendoh laughed. "Rukawa-kun, the things you say never fail to crack me up." He quickly motioned for them to sit down at one of the benches, but Rukawa shook his head. He's fine the way he is, thanks very much. For a moment, silence just filled the area. Poor little Inu-chan, completely confused as to why his Akira-niichan brought him here. Little Inu-chan decided to behave, though, and just watch the spectacle unfolding before his puppy eyes.
"I have something to tell you," both Rukawa and Sendoh blurted out at the same time.
"Uh... you first, then," Sendoh said with a smile.
'Dammit, stop smiling!' Rukawa wanted to say. 'You're making this hard for me!'
"Go on, now, Rukawa-kun," Sendoh urged. Inu-chan yelped in agreement. Now, are these two treating Rukawa like a twit, or what?
Rukawa took a deep breath. Why was he doing this again? What exactly are the reasons? Oh. He had to distance himself from Sendoh to stop these unwanted feelings. He's not prepared to feel these things. He was used to feeling *nothing*. No more stupid seduction schemes. No more happy moments. After this, his life would be peaceful once again. No more thinking of Sendoh, no more fuzzy feelings. He'd go back to the life he was used to.
It's safer that way.
"Sendoh, listen and listen well," Rukawa started. "I'm sure you've been quite happy while spending time with me-"
"Happy is an under-"
"Don't interrupt, ahou'."
"Shutting up."
"Where was I? Oh. You've been happy. And I've been happy too, in a way. But I have to tell you now that I never really wanted this to happen."
"Wha-"
"I never really wanted to spend time with you in the first place."
Sendoh felt his chest constricting. "Then why did you do it?"
"I was dared to seduce you," Rukawa stated, his face dead-pan as ever, but each word stung to him as much as it stung to Sendoh. "My dense cousin thought that I could change, that I could be happier if he pushed me towards someone. That was why you could find me so pushy and flirty at times. But then, I couldn't take it anymore, all this cheap bullshit. I quit."
"Then... all these... it was just a ploy to seduce me?"
"Hai."
Sendoh felt his world going down on him. He knew all along that Rukawa was hiding something, but he never thought that the latter was just *forced* to spend time with him. Those sneers, those winks, those gestures... were they all *planned*? Well then, what about the smiles? The happy moments? Those stories they shared? What about their days at Eden?
Those were all... lies?
"I quitted already, Sendoh," Rukawa said, breaking Sendoh's thoughts. "I don't have any reason to see you anymore. I think this whole seduction scheme is bullshit. I never really wanted to accept it in the first place, but my pride pushed me to do so. And now I can't take it anymore. Whatever we had before, it's over."
/It's over./
It rang on and on and on in Sendoh's head. On and on and on. Over... over... over... Images of Rukawa's peaceful face ran around Sendoh
Poor little Inu-chan. Currently being strangled to death, much to the little puppy's dismay.
"You're hurting your dog," Rukawa said.
Sendoh snapped back to reality and released the dog. Inu-chan sighed out in relief.
"Rukawa-kun..."
"It's true, Sendoh. I don't want to see you again," Rukawa said a tad too harshly. He reached into his pocket and handed Sendoh the little shell. "I don't need this anymore."
Sendoh just stood there, eyeing the shell with a broken heart.
Silence ensued... then finally,
"No."
"Pardon?"
"I won't let you go."
"Sendoh-"
"I understand that you have to accept the dare because of your pride," Sendoh started, his face more serious than ever. "I accept the fact that you were forced to be with me. You quitted because of reasons that I don't, and may not ever know, but quitting the dare doesn't mean you have to stop spending time with me."
"Don't push it, Sendoh. I don't want to see you again."
"Why?"
Why, indeed? Rukawa doesn't want to tell Sendoh that he's falling in love with him. Now... what to tell Sendoh? "You look stupid."
"Sakuragi looks stupider."
True. Now what? "You annoy me."
"Sakuragi annoys you more."
Oops. Another point for Sendoh. Rukawa's palms were sweating. He decided to keep quiet. It works all the time.
"Rukawa-kun, look at me now and tell me that you weren't happy when you were spending those times with me. Tell me that those smiles, those peaceful looks, those laughters were all fake. Tell me that the shell doesn't mean anything to you."
Rukawa looked away and stubbornly refused to talk.
"You're happy with me, Rukawa-kun," Sendoh argued. "I don't care about the dare. I don't care if you were just forced to spend some time with me. The important thing is that *I* can make you happy. Don't let these all go."
"You don't know me. How could you say that *you're* the one who can make me happy?"
"I just know."
"Do'aho."
Sendoh bit his lip. Rukawa looked as if he really doesn't want to see him anymore. But he had to give this a try, or else he'd regret it for the rest of his life. He thought of Kirei-neechan's loving look whenever she talked about Rukawa.
/I'm thinking that if anybody could pull Kaede out of his dark, dark world, it would be you./
Sendoh wouldn't give up until he tried. Rukawa's just scared, he told himself over and over again. Sendoh would never give up. He'd reach out to Rukawa with all his might. Rukawa never knew how to reach out... he never knew how to love. Sendoh would teach him. The seven heavens and celibacy be damned.
"Rukawa-kun," Sendoh started, his voice all serious, his face all determined. Rukawa took a step backwards. Perhaps he couldn't get rid of Sendoh that easy. "You already told me what you wanted to say. I believe it's my turn."
Rukawa fought the urge to raise an eyebrow. After all, he's trying to be damned expressionless here. "Hurry up and get this over and done with. I want to go home." He didn't even know that he was still holding out the shell until Sendoh closed his palm over his hand and pushed it back towards him. That would explain why his arm was kinda aching.
"Keep the shell," Sendoh said softly, his blue eyes boring holes into Rukawa's. "I gave it to you."
And Rukawa found himself putting the shell back in his pocket.
"I have a few things to tell you," Sendoh said as he led them both towards the benches. "Please listen to what I have to say, Rukawa-kun, and think about it. I know I look stupid with this tiny poodle in my hand, but I've never been more serious in my entire life."
"What is it?"
"Rukawa-kun, I love you."
Rukawa now resembles a flag pole. What the hell-
"Shut up, Sendoh. I told you already, I don't want to see you anymore."
"I love you," Sendoh said again.
"I don't love you." It was a lash. Rukawa almost winced at his own harsh lie, but Sendoh didn't even falter.
"Well, then... that's fine with me. I'm going to make you fall in love with me, then."
**********
tsu.zu.ku
**********
Cliffhanger.
Pretty serious, ne? I'm trying to write this fic as lightly as I could, what with it being a humor fic and all...
More diScLAiMErS: The Little Mermaid is property of Walt Disney, Inc. (Am I right?), Buttercup's not mine, so's Eeyore.
Aki: *still drooling at the sight of Rukawa with a silver hoop on his ear*