Disclaimer: Buena Vista Entertainment owns the rights to Power Rangers Lost Galaxy. This story involves characters and concepts from PRLG.
To Be Loved Again
by Starhawk
She was reading as she walked, the report just a little too long to finish in the elevator and a little too important to put down until she'd reached her bench. She didn't want to stop at her bench anyway. She didn't even want to be in the control tower, but she had to update the research log and the light team was going to want this report.
Main engine burn had contributed more visible radiation than expected, potentially weakening the dawn and dusk cycles on the outer mall. That would threaten the corpuscular animals' biorhythms, and the ecosystem on Terra Venture was too fragile to withstand more than the most minor of disruptions. A change in the grazing habits of their carefully controlled deer herd would be anything but minor.
Kendrix ducked a moving tray and maneuvered around the erratic SMART traffic without really noticing it. She had fifteen minutes to pass this off and get back to the surface for their first team target practice. Kai was probably already gone, and Jewel's share parents had asked Maya to come to school--a bad sign, and at any other time of day Kendrix would have gone with her. Instead she would go to the shooting range, let Leo know what was happening, and hope that Maya called her if there was anything she could do.
"Sarah," she called, moving out of the way of a bonsai experiment on its way to somewhere else. "Engine radiation report for the light team!"
Sarah was at Natan's bench, and she waved Kendrix over without looking up from his computer. "Kai was looking for you," she said, as Kendrix put the report down next to her. "And Jenessa wants to talk to Maya."
The head of the aquaculture department didn't stop working as Kendrix leaned over her shoulder and skimmed the screen, idly curious about what Sarah needed from a physicist's database. She could guess what the sociocultural department wanted with Maya. And she knew perfectly well what Kai wanted from her. What she didn't know was what course vectors had to do with Sarah's work.
"Burn time data," Sarah said, reading her mind. "The light team is really flipping out. The dolphins offered to crunch numbers for them if it keeps the entire department from having a meltdown."
"Nice of them!" Kendrix smiled at the screen and pulled away, intending to update the log and head for the elevator. But she could see the terminal on her bench flashing at her from here, the priority voice message pattern, and she made a face. "Priority message?" she said aloud.
"Medlab." Sarah was frowning at Natan's screen, and her fingers twitched as she adjusted the database view. "Scheduling the first month physicals."
"We're not even two weeks in!" Kendrix protested. She'd thought she would have more time before she had to start avoiding the colony's mandatory health checkups. Imperative for a small, self-contained society, certainly, and moreso for the largest ever Earth expedition into the still largely unknown environment of deep space. But all it would take was one blood test and she would find herself in serious trouble.
"They have to do the whole colony," Sarah reminded her. "They're starting with the higher-ups, apparently."
"Crap," she muttered. Then she shook her head, because this wasn't a problem she needed right now. "I have to go. Tell the dolphins thanks for their help."
"Kai says don't be late!" Sarah called after her. "He doesn't want to be alone with three armed and inexperienced people!"
Kendrix bypassed her bench, stopping only long enough to enter her daily track into the research log before she headed back toward the elevator. If Kai had been and gone already then she'd missed him, so she didn't bother checking Command. The ride back down was long and a little lonely with no report to keep her company and the physical weighing on her mind.
She tried to shake it off again. She was the last one to the shooting range, except for Maya who might not come at all, and Kai threw her a relieved look when she slipped into the armory. The guys were already set up, but Damon was holding his energy rifle like it might explode and Leo had his in one hand while he rubbed his eyes with the other. She could sympathize with the feeling. She remembered her first target practice all too well.
"Maya had to go to school," Kendrix offered in lieu of a greeting. "Something about Jewel; her share parents didn't say what."
"Is she coming at all?" Kai demanded.
At the same moment, Leo asked, "Anything we can do?"
"I don't know," Kendrix said, answering both questions at once. "I hope she'll call me if we can help, but depending on what's happened, it could be a while."
"Then," Damon remarked, trying to sound game. "Grab a gun."
"One less aimless shooter in the range," Kai grumbled. "It could be worse."
His pretended bitterness made her smile, especially without Maya here to worry. Kai was one of the nicest people she knew, and he covered it up with fake irritation and a compulsiveness that he called "discipline." It kept people from taking advantage of him. It also occasionally offended people who didn't know him very well.
He took Leo and Damon into the range while she suited up and checked one of the rifles, and by the time she joined them Kai must have finished going over the basics. He had each of them in individual galleries, with the score bar lit above each one. Kai's was green: perfect score. Damon's was red.
Leo's was dark, and she frowned. Tapping the keypad outside Kai's door, she saw the light inside flash and he lowered his rifle before turning toward her. Kendrix tipped her head toward the other galleries, raising her eyebrows. He came over and touched the intercom so that his voice came through into the back hallway. "They wanted to try on their own."
"Leo's not shooting," she told him.
Kai shifted his rifle to one arm and pushed the door open. "What?"
She stepped back so he could see for himself. He took one look at the score bar and triggered the door alert. The light flashed, but Leo just stood inside, facing the far end of the gallery and ignoring the alert. Kai pushed the intercom button. "Leo? You all right?"
Leo finally turned around, giving them an odd look through the window before his gaze refocused on the door. He reached for the intercom button, hesitating briefly before pushing it. "Yeah?"
Kendrix looked at Kai, but all he said was, "Open the door, Leo."
In the amount of time it took Leo to open the door, Kendrix peeked in on Damon, whose score bar had flickered rapidly past orange to yellow as he started picking up his targets. He'd gotten over the exploding rifle fear very quickly. He actually looked like he was having a good time. She knew that feeling, too.
"You okay?" she heard Kai ask, and she turned back to Leo. He was leaning against the doorway, rubbing at his eyes again, and he didn't really look okay. He looked tired, at the very least. Possibly upset.
Leo looked up, catching her eye and then giving Kai a quick look. "The last time I held one of these," he said, "my brother died. I guess I'm just having more trouble dealing than I expected."
Kendrix reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, covered by the reflective mesh of his practice suit. He flashed her a preoccupied smile, shaking his head. "I'll be fine," he promised. "It's just... weird, I guess."
"We'll go to one of the group galleries," Kai decided. There was a wry twist to his expression as he added, "It's harder to think in there."
"Just hit a couple of the targets," Kendrix told him, squeezing his shoulder. "The system will want to know that you can aim before it lets you into the group gallery."
Leo glanced back into the room behind him, lifted his right hand, and fired. Standing there in the hallway with them, his body tilted sideways, he hit three targets in quick succession. One-handed. The open-door alert started to shriek the moment he discharged his weapon, and it didn't stop until Kai pulled Leo forward and closed the door behind him.
"You know what I was saying about form?" Kai said, strangely stoic in the face of this performance. "That's not what the average soldier is going for."
Leo smiled, some of the interest returning to his eyes. "Well, I'm not an average soldier, am I. Did I pass?"
Kendrix glanced up at the score bar, green despite the door violation, and she pointed when Leo followed her gaze. Before they could say anything, though, Damon poked his head out of the next gallery down, then came all the way out when he saw them gathered in the hall. "What was that noise?" he wanted to know.
"Leo showing off," Kai said. He didn't mention Leo breaking gallery rules that Kai had probably just finished going over. He didn't mention Leo using his rifle in a physically improbable, if not impossible way. He didn't say, Leo just hit three targets one-handed through a doorway on his first try, almost without looking.
Someone had to, so Kendrix declared, "That should have been impossible."
"What?" Damon demanded.
Kai just shrugged. "He's a Ranger. He's got good aim."
"He fired the rifle one-handed!" Kendrix protested. "I can barely hold these things one-handed! I definitely can't aim, let alone brace them that way."
"Bet you can now," Leo said off-handedly. "We're a lot stronger than we used to be."
"You're shooting one-handed?" Damon repeated. "Why?"
"Kendrix told me to hit some targets," Leo said. "So I did."
"We're going to move to one of the group galleries," Kai put in. "It looks like this won't be a routine target practice session. We might as well see what we can do together."
It turned out Leo was partially right: she could hold and aim her rifle one-handed, but the recoil was still too strong for her to actually hit anything that way. Kai could do it, though he didn't look comfortable with it--too many years of training the right way, she thought. Damon looked at them like they were crazy, so they all moved out of the way while he tried to duplicated the one-handed fire.
His first shot was wild, but his second shot was at least in the right direction. He kept trying, and eventually he got his mark close enough that he was consistently firing over top of the target. The effect of the recoil, Kai said. Damon could compensate for it, but it would throw off his aim whenever he tried to shoot normally afterwards.
Leo thought they should try morphing, just to see what happened, but Kai pointed out that they might not always be able to morph and they should learn to shoot unaided first. Leo argued that that was impossible, they weren't unaided, the fact that they were strong without morphing meant that this wasn't regular target practice to begin with. Kai retorted that his point stood, no matter what level they were at now.
Kai won. Damon challenged Kendrix to a shooting match. Leo sulked beautifully, stealing several of their targets in an effort to show up Kai, who was ignoring him. Maya arrived about forty-five minutes in, apologetic about her lateness and clearly wary of the rifles at the same time.
She was good, though. Maya had pretty much the same reaction Kendrix remembered in her own training, except that Maya was starting from a position of much greater strength and so her control of the rifle was fast and deceptively simple. Once she realized what she could do with it, she started to imitate Leo: taking other people's targets before they could eliminate them. It made Kendrix laugh, Damon protest, and Kai look generally annoyed.
"All right," Leo said at last. "We're obviously qualified. Can we please morph now?"
Kendrix grinned at his persistence. Leo had either worn Kai down or warmed him up with his use of the word "please," because Kai just waved for them to do whatever they wanted. Leo's transmorpher appeared with a flick of his wrist, and the rest of them, even Kai, weren't far behind.
Morphing made hitting their targets more a matter of concentration than of skill: as long as they knew what they were aiming at, there wasn't really any question of where their fire would go. The gallery was up to the challenge, though, and Kai made them trade in their rifles for stun guns before he set the targets to move, a preprogrammed pattern of colors that changed as they went and required shooters to hit each of them in a certain order.
"Remember," he told them, before he turned them loose in the gallery again, "these suits only deflect grazes. They won't keep you from getting knocked out if someone hits you head-on."
The disturbing part was that Maya was better than any of them once the targets started to move. Damon, who turned out to be partially colorblind, had a terrible time with the green-yellow-red sequence. And Leo made it his mission to interrupt Kendrix's sequences just as she was about to finish, sacrificing his score to destroy her own. So Maya and Kai ended up neck-and-neck as the colors started to flash, warning participants that the simulation was about to end.
That was the point at which Leo stopped sabotaging Kendrix's score and started trying to total Kai's. Damon finally figured out how he was doing it and jumped in to ruin Maya's sequences. It wasn't easy--the saboteur had to figure out where the original shooter was in her sequence and destroy every target of the following color, while the original shooter only needed one. The easiest way to do it was to knock out a target just before the original shooter did, killing the color and putting a blank in the middle of their sequence, which then automatically restarted.
Easy for a Ranger, anyway. If they weren't morphed, Kendrix would have enough trouble finding her own targets, let alone anticipating which one someone else was going to shoot. She sided with Leo, just for the fun of it, and by the time the targets went out and the lights came back up, Maya was the clear winner.
"You have competition!" Leo crowed, pushing his goggles back and clapping Kai on the shoulder.
Kai grimaced at him. "What I have is really annoying friends," he said, not as though he meant it.
"Come on," Leo said with a grin. "Straight shoot, thirty seconds. I bet she kicks your butt."
"Kicks butt," Maya murmured, leaning up against Kendrix's shoulder. "I've heard that before...?"
"It means you win," Kendrix whispered back.
"By a lot," Damon put in, obviously not having trouble overhearing. She kept forgetting that all their senses were heightened along with their strength and their reflexes. "It means you win by a lot."
"Which you might," Kendrix added. "That was awesome!"
"You were helping me," Maya pointed out, smiling. "Both of you. Not Damon," she added, giving him a mock-frown.
He grinned unrepentantly. "Hey, just trying to make it fair." He didn't add that he probably was less of a hindrance than either Kendrix or Leo had been to Kai, since forty percent of the sequence looked the same to him.
"Fine," Leo was saying. "You and me, unmorphed."
"Do we still have time?" Damon wanted to know.
Kendrix glanced back at the door, reading the time display from where she was. "No," she said. "But somehow I don't think that will stop them."
"Well, it'll stop me," he declared. "I'm going to make sure the light team hasn't totally overridden engine protocol--no offense," he told Kendrix, barely pausing, "and then I'm off to work on my big project!"
"What project are you working on?" Maya asked eagerly. "It sounds very exciting."
"It is," Damon agreed, his pride and enthusiasm evident. "It's the Megaship Museum! I've got volunteers out there right now deciphering the safeties and getting nav control back online, 'cause I think she should fly again."
"What's the Megaship Museum?" Maya looked puzzled, and maybe a little like she suspected them of pulling her leg. "It flies?"
"It's a battleship," Kendrix explained. "A team of Power Rangers left it on Earth four years ago, specifically for use by the Terra Venture project. Because the colony ship was built in orbit, the Megaship ferried people and supplies from the surface to space right up until the the month before launch when our shuttle fleet was finished.
"Can we really use it?" she added, glancing at Damon. "I thought it was for construction only."
"There's a clause in the contract for future Ranger use," he said, grinning. "I think we're those future Rangers."
"A battleship?" Maya repeated, looking from one of them to the other. "I'm sorry, but I'm still not sure what that is."
"It's a spaceship," Kendrix said.
"A really big spaceship," Damon interrupted. "Built for use by Power Rangers who have to fight in space. Like us."
"Well, we haven't had to so far," Kendrix pointed out.
"We haven't had to fight at all so far," Damon countered. "Except on Mirinoi. That doesn't mean we won't have to."
"I'm afraid that's true," Maya murmured. "The portal that connected our worlds was brief, but Scorpius will know you by now. It's only a matter of time before he finds out where you came from."
"Does he have spaceships?" Damon wanted to know. "'Cause we do!"
"Even if he doesn't," Kendrix said, "those portals are dangerous weapons themselves. He could open one up anywhere in the colony and I don't think there's any way we could stop him."
"Still," Maya added, maybe trying to cheer them up, "a fighting ship must be a significant advantage. I've never seen such a thing before. I can only imagine what it can do."
"Do you want to see it?" Damon offered. "It's great! I'm headed out there right after I check in with the engine room. You guys should come with me."
The sound of a gun clattering to the floor of the range got everyone's attention. Leo had both his hands to his head, but he took them away as soon as he saw them looking at him. "Sorry," he muttered. "I just--"
He didn't finish, but Kai was still holding his stun gun, so the one on the floor was obviously Leo's. Kai looked surprised, and when Kendrix caught his eye he shook his head. No idea, then.
"Leo?" she prompted. "Are you okay?"
He and Kai were back in the reflective mesh they'd pulled on over their regular clothes, Kai's blue uniform and Leo's black t-shirt barely visible through material that was designed to disrupt light. With their Ranger uniforms gone, they looked like regular soldiers again. Except that Leo was shaking his head as though he was trying to wake himself up, squeezing his eyes shut and then lifting a hand to rub them open again.
"I guess," he said. "Not really."
"You missed five targets in a row," Kai observed, and Kendrix winced. Unexpected, especially after the way he'd been shooting before, but probably not what Leo wanted to hear right now.
"Yeah, I can count," Leo snapped. "Maybe if I could focus on the damn things, my aim would be better."
Kendrix could feel Maya leaning against her shoulder again, her habit when she was uncertain or seeking comfort. It hadn't taken Kendrix long to get used to it. Maya didn't even seem to realize she did it. "Are you having trouble seeing?" she was asking.
"No, just--" Leo broke off again, then pressed the palm of his hand to his temple. The gesture was brief but hard, like he was trying to get something into his head without making a big deal of it. "I'm just tired, I guess. My head hurts."
"Maybe it's the sound," Maya offered. "These weapons are loud, and the repeated noise is harsh to my ears."
"Did you sleep last night?" Kendrix added. Leo had moved into his own room a few days before, but he hadn't been sleeping well before that. In the chaos of main engine ignition, departure from the solar system, and trying to establish some sort of new balance between training and work, she sometimes forgot to ask how he was doing on his own.
"Yeah, I did," he muttered. "I slept fine, actually. I just... I don't know, I can't seem to get through the day on it."
"Well, you have some sleep to catch up on," Kendrix pointed out gently. "Maybe you should try napping after our training sessions. Just for a few days."
"Training usually helps," Leo said, rubbing his eyes again. "At least, it did until we started morphing. Afterwards I just crash; I don't know why."
Kendrix looked at Maya, still close against her shoulder, then at Damon. All together, they let their Ranger uniforms vanish. Her science shirt and mesh suit was left in its place, but otherwise she didn't feel any different. Not worse, anyway.
"I feel okay," Damon said, voicing the thought on all of their minds.
"Me too," Kendrix agreed. "Maybe--do you think it's some kind of psychological reaction?"
As soon as the words were out, she wished she hadn't said them. But her brain got ahead of her, thinking of possible explanations to suit the data at hand, and she hesitated only long enough to figure out how to ask. Not whether she should or not.
"Because I don't deserve Mike's morpher?" Leo, of course, got it immediately.
"No," she said. "Because you think you don't deserve Mike's morpher."
He gave her a half-smile, acknowledging her correction but not necessarily accepting it. "I don't know," he said. "That nap thing's not looking so bad, though."
"Time's up anyway," Kai said. "Stun guns back in the locker, suits back on the hangers inside. I'll take yours," he told Leo.
Now he got the half-smile, and Leo remarked, "Afraid I'll shoot someone by accident?"
"Afraid it will discharge if you throw it at the floor like that again," Kai retorted. "If you have to vent your frustration in such a completely unproductive way, you should really make sure the safety is on first."
Kendrix hadn't realized he'd thrown the weapon down. She'd thought he just dropped it. Leo did have a bit of a temper, but to express it in a shooting gallery was... irresponsible, to say the least. Dangerous at worst. She was surprised Kai was taking it so calmly.
"Yeah, next time I'll plan my spontaneous freakout," Leo muttered, and that did it.
"We try to avoid 'spontaneous freakouts' in the shooting range," Kai said sharply. "This isn't a safe place to break down, Leo. If you're that tired you shouldn't be training at all."
"I wasn't tired before," Leo informed him. "I was fine."
"Now you're not," Kai shot back. "And you just said it's happened before. You should have warned us."
"Consider yourself warned," Leo snapped. He took his stun gun with him when he headed back down the hallway.
They all stood their looking at each other for a minute. Kai was looking at her, and Kendrix shook her head wordlessly. He hadn't done anything wrong. "Okay," Kai muttered, almost as though he had heard her.
"He has suffered a terrible loss," Maya murmured in her ear. "This kind of thing doesn't heal quickly."
"You would know," Kendrix replied softly. Maya had lost her family, all her friends, her entire planet in one fell swoop. "But you're not going around throwing things and yelling at people."
"We all deal with grief in our own way," Maya said. "All powerful emotion must have an outlet. He rages. I regret. Neither seems productive, but both will help us heal one day."
Kendrix slid an arm around her waist, and Maya smiled at her. On her other side, Damon put a hand on her shoulder, and Maya lifted her free hand to cover his. "You're very kind," she said.
"We're lucky to have you," Kendrix said, resting her head on Maya's shoulder briefly. "I'm so sorry for you, for how things turned out. But not for us."
Maya laid her head against hers, just for a second before Kendrix straightened up. "The story of my home is not over yet," she murmured. "As long as we carry the Quasar Sabers, I have hope that Mirinoi will one day call us back to right the wrongs done there. In the meantime, your company is my greatest gift."
Kendrix smiled, not really caring whether Maya meant all of them or her in particular. It was a beautiful thing to say, from someone who had every reason to be angrier than Leo was right now. "It's the same for us," she whispered.
By the time they walked into the armory, Leo had put his gun away and was hanging up his suit. He looked a little pale, but he was calmer than he'd been in the gallery. "Hey, guys," he said, awkward as Kai collected the rest of their guns. "Sorry I lost it back there. I don't know what was wrong with me."
"Leo," Kendrix began, but Damon beat her to it.
"Hey, man," he said. "You're under a lot of stress, right? I mean, we just have to be Rangers. You have to be the leader. And Maya pointed out that it's not really coming at the best time for you, so. We get it."
"Maya's been through more," Leo said, giving her a pained look. "I don't want to make excuses, okay? I screwed up. It won't happen again."
"We understand," Kendrix assured him. "Just get some rest, Leo. Everything is harder when you're exhausted."
"You can get time off for personal loss," Kai muttered. Still shy about kindness in front of them, Kendrix thought fondly. But he'd called them friends earlier; that was a good start. It just took him time to warm up to people.
"I had time off," Leo said, sounding frustrated with himself. "I had five days of nothing, and I don't want to go back to that. "I just... I just can't seem to keep up, some days."
"You've done nothing wrong," Maya said gently. "Kendrix is right; you should rest. The future will not look so bleak forever."
Kendrix gave her a concerned look, and she knew Leo saw it. He closed his mouth on whatever he'd been about to say and just nodded. "How's Jewel?" he asked instead. "Kendrix said you had to go to school."
Maya smiled at that. "She's well. She simply escaped from the school building and was unsupervised in the park outside for a time. Apparently this is cause for alarm among your people?"
"Well, yes," Kendrix said quickly, when all the guys looked at her. Like she knew anything about children. Her entire practical experience with people under the age of ten had come from helping Maya take care of Jewel. "Children are supposed to be supervised at all times."
"Not on Mirinoi," Maya said. "We feel that children learn better from their own experiences than they do from our instruction. Children Jewel's age are allowed considerable freedom in safe environments."
"This isn't exactly a safe environment, though," Damon pointed out. "We're on a colony ship heading for another star system. Kids could get into all kinds of trouble here."
"Perhaps," Maya said, in the way that meant, your kids, perhaps. "In any case, I did explain that most of a child's education on Mirinoi is conducted outside. Her teachers have agreed to shift more of their playtime to the park instead of keeping the children inside all afternoon."
"That'll be good for all of them," Leo put in. "Help them use up some of their energy before their parents pick them up."
"Yes," Maya agreed, and this time when she smiled she looked genuinely pleased instead of just tolerantly amused. "And since she's spending the night with me tonight, that will be especially appreciated."
Kendrix grinned at her, remembering the last time Maya had had Jewel overnight. Jewel had just recently learned to talk to the computer system on Terra Venture, and the AIs that ran it had endless patience for a small child full of questions and stories. A patience she had tested by babbling for hours on end to the computer terminal in Maya's room.
It had been much better than crying, so Maya hadn't tried to stop her. But it hadn't been quite as good as sleeping. Jewel's share parents assured them that she didn't do much sleeping while she was at their apartment either, which led Kendrix to wonder if all children were as energetic as Jewel, or if it was something about children from Mirinoi in particular.
"So, no visit to the Megaship today?" Damon was asking. "You can bring Jewel if you want."
"Oh, we won't pick her up until six," Maya said quickly, glancing at Kendrix. "I'd love to see your battleship first."
"You're visiting the Megaship?" Kai repeated.
"Damon is going to make it fly," Maya told him. "He invited us to come with him."
"What?" Leo looked startled. "The Astro Megaship, you mean? I didn't even know that was on Terra Venture."
"It was a gift to the colony," Damon said, "to help with construction. She was supposed to come with us when we launched as an educational exhibit, but there was a provision in the contract for future Ranger use. And here we are," he added, "future Rangers!"
"So you're, what--" Kai frowned at him. "Taking it out for a joyride?"
"No," Damon said, giving him a look that implied Kai had said something ridiculously stupid. "I'm prepping her for potential combat operations. When Scorpius finds us, we're going to need every advantage we can get. It's what she was built for."
"Why do you refer to the battleship as a she?" Maya asked curiously.
"Because she's got a spirit," Damon told her. "Lots of machines do. They're more than just the sum of their parts; they have this knowing about them, this feeling of what they're meant for. Calling them 'she' is a sign of respect."
"I see." Maya appeared to take this very seriously.
"Not everyone does it," Kai said. "It's more common for people who work with machines a lot to talk about them like they're alive or something."
"Don't you all work with machines here?" Maya asked. "Terra Venture seems full of computers and elevators and engines. Even the parts of your dome that are unconstructed are filled with automatic watering systems and light generators."
"I think we kind of take them for granted after a while," Kendrix said, making a face of apology. "We're so used to them that we don't really notice them."
Damon snorted. "Speak for yourself," he said. "You're not the one who has to keep them running."
She had to admit this was true, but Maya smiled at her for it so she didn't feel as embarrassed as she might have. Kai asked to come with them, and Leo looked like he wanted to but couldn't quite make his body agree. Kendrix hesitated, remembering the priority message pattern on her SMART screen, but Maya looked so disappointed that she changed her mind.
So Leo left, Damon contacted his engine room, and she and Maya and Kai waited for their escort to the Megaship. It was worth the wait. Kendrix had flown on the Megaship many times while it was still making colony supply runs, and she'd stopped by once to visit the "Megaship Museum" after it had been grounded. With Damon showing them around, though, she learned the history behind the machinery.
"The engine core's been replaced," he told them. "Probably a few years before we got her. It must have been a huge job; nothing that could have been done on Earth. Makes you wonder what the crew went through to keep the ship intact after losing the core."
"What does the core do?" Maya wanted to know.
"It powers the entire ship," Damon told her. "I mean, it's designed for the engines, sublight and hyperrush--"
"Slow and fast," Kendrix whispered, and Maya's grateful gaze touched hers for a moment.
"But the rest of the systems bleed off whatever power they need to keep the ship warm and the lights on," Damon explained. "If they had to replace the core, the ship must have been a shell."
"They?" Kai repeated. "The Astro Rangers, you mean."
"Well, probably." Damon didn't sound as sarcastic as his words. "The ship changed hands at least twice. We know she belonged to the Astro Rangers once, and since she's named for them, maybe they were the original owners. But the Astro Rangers appeared in 1998, and the Astro Megaship disappeared in 1999.
"She was brought back to Earth by the Kerovan Rangers in 2001," Damon continued. "So obviously the Astro Rangers gave her to them at some point, and then they gave her to us. Unfortunately, most of the ship's logs are inaccessible. We really don't know much about where she was during those missing years."
"It must have been fighting," Kai said. "Right? If the core was destroyed?"
"We don't know exactly when that happened," Damon pointed out. "For all we know, she was retired when she left Earth. Her systems are well-maintained, but we don't ask much of her, and the Kerovan Rangers made sure we wouldn't when they gave her to us. The contract the GSA signed with them was pretty specific."
"But you said there was a clause," Kendrix reminded him. "That Power Rangers could use her if they needed to?"
"Yeah, see, that's why I think we could make her battle-ready again," Damon agreed. "I mean, if all she's good for now is ship-to-surface, why put in a clause like that? Why not just say, 'she's been decommissioned as a battleship; all you can use her for is ferry service'?"
"Maybe because they trusted Rangers to be able to make that assessment for themselves," Kai said dryly.
Damon wasn't deterred. "If that's true, we'll find out. But I don't think so. I don't think they brought her back to Earth to get rid of her. I think they brought her here as a gift."
Kai snorted, but Maya looked curious. "Why?" she asked simply.
Damon gave her a long look, and suddenly Kendrix knew that Maya had heard something in his tone. Something that alluded to everything he wasn't telling them: his affection for this ship, his belief in her power. And, just like that, she had asked him to share it with them.
"Okay," he said at last. "You want to know why? I'll show you why."
And he did. Just like that.
Damon led them out of the engine room and down the narrow curving hallways of the ship, so cramped compared to GSA style corridors, and into a room just off of the Bridge. "The Glider holding bay," he announced as they walked in. "We kept trying to call it the workbay, but the ship's schematics say 'holding bay,' so most of us go with that. It was obviously some kind of prep room for the crew."
Kendrix had seen the holding bay several times, but she'd never given much thought to what it had been used for before now. Now it was mostly a staging area for work on the Bridge--but Damon was right, there were lockers on the wall and a snack machine and some kind of tactical boards in the far corner. And all over the room, there were the same five colors repeated again and again.
"This is why I think it was a gift," Damon said, folding his arms.
Kai just frowned, clearly impatient. "Why?"
But Damon was watching Maya, and Kendrix kept an eye on her too as she wandered slowly around the room, studying every surface. Finally, her voice drifted back to them. "What colors were the Kerovan Rangers?"
Damon snapped his fingers once and pointed at her. "Exactly," he said, sounding satisfied. "The Kerovan Rangers are red, purple, yellow, silver, and black."
"These are Astro colors," Kendrix said carefully. She got that much, even if she didn't know where he was going with it.
"Yes! The Kerovan Rangers honored their predecessors by keeping the original color scheme!" Damon exclaimed. "They had the ship for three years; why wouldn't they have changed it? But they didn't. They respected the team that gave it to them too much. And when they heard that the planet where those Rangers live was launching a major deep space expedition, they brought the ship back Earth. Because they knew we'd need it."
Kai didn't look convinced, but Maya was nodding as though the answer had been apparent all along. "I hope she does fly," she said, running her hand along the wall as she made her way back to them. "I think I would like to see the stars from a ship like this."
"Come back in a few days," Damon invited. "We're almost ready for a test run--a couple more shifts, I think--and if that goes well, then we'll really see what she can do."
He continued their tour on the Bridge, then piled them all into the lift for a look at sections that had been restricted. Off limits to the public because they weren't very interesting, he said, not because they were dangerous. They couldn't keep track of everyone, not with most of the workers on the ship doing actual work instead of just security and answering questions. So the parts of the ship where the crew had lived were closed for the time being.
They got to see the observatory, which had always been Kendrix's favorite place when she caught a lift with the supply runs but wasn't as impressive now that they were under the dome. They got to see the medical bay, which astonished Maya no end as Damon explained their speculation about its capabilities. And they got to see a library full of more virtual reality equipment than Kendrix had ever imagined. Damon showed them how to make starfields come alive in the cavernous space, allowing navigators to plot their way through the vast darkness of space simply by walking through it. The Simudeck, he called it.
Finally, they walked through the crew quarters. Damon pointed out the little stars beside each of eleven rooms, the only identification that remained after all this time. "Why so many?" Kai wanted to know. "There are only five Astro Rangers."
"There used to be six," Damon corrected. "A sixth Ranger joined the team in the fall of '98 and then disappeared the next year. There are reports of other allies who fought alongside the Astro team, too, but it's impossible to know if any of them lived here on the Megaship."
"You said the ship's logs are inaccessible?" Kai asked, frowning.
"We assume they are," Damon said with a shrug. "We don't even know for sure that they exist. But who would destroy all those records when they could just lock them down? We don't have anything like this level of technology; we'd never find them. The only reason we can do any work on this ship is because her basic schematics and how-to manuals are available to anyone."
Eleven, Kendrix was thinking. Six plus five. "Did you say there are five Kerovan Rangers?" she asked slowly.
Damon grinned at her, and she knew she was onto something. "Yeah."
"Six Astro Rangers and five Kerovan Rangers," she said. "Eleven rooms."
He nodded. "That's what I think too. If they didn't change the colors in the holding bay, why would they move into the first team's rooms?"
"It's so quiet," Maya said softly. She was standing in one of the open doorways, her hand on the room's inner wall as she looked around.
"Some of the guys say that," Damon agreed, turning to watch her. "That's it's kind of ghostly."
"Not ghostly." Maya didn't move. Her voice had a reflective quality, like she was considering something they couldn't see. "Patient, I think. At rest. Waiting."
"Waiting," Damon repeated. "You think?"
Kendrix glanced at Kai and found him looking back at her. She let her skepticism show, and he rolled his eyes, making her smile. Damon and Maya were clearly two of a kind, ready to ascribe a spirit to anything they could touch. And maybe some things they couldn't.
"Yes," Maya was saying. "Not for... people, exactly. Not for someone in particular. For something, I think. Something specific."
"To be needed?" Damon suggested.
Maya turned around with a smile. "Yes," she agreed, gazing at him. "That's it. To be needed. To be loved again. Just like the rest of us... she's waiting for the same thing."
"I love her," Damon said, patting the side of the corridor with unabashed affection. "We'll get her back out into space where she belongs, and then we'll see about the rest."
"I love her too," Maya said impulsively. She laid her hand on the opposite side of the corridor. "Will you tell me when I can come fly with you?"
"Sure thing," Damon promised. "You can even make the test run with us, if you want. But it won't be very exciting."
"It will be to me," Maya said, still smiling.
That was probably true, Kendrix decided, hanging back with Kai while the two of them continued to wander along the corridor, chatting as they went. Maya had never been on a spaceship before the heliship that took them back to Terra Venture, and the heliships didn't have windows. Terra Venture had an amazing view, both above the surface and below it, but it was hard to get a sense of actually flying. The Megaship was to Terra Venture what a powerboat was to a cruise ship.
"They're an interesting combination," Kai said under his breath, and Kendrix nudged his shoulder companionably. "Really," he added, just as quietly. "The tech and the jungle native?"
"They've bonded," Kendrix observed. "Too bad Leo missed it."
"Yeah." She could hear him frowning; she didn't even have to look. "He seems kind of off these last few days. You think he's all right?"
"He's been through a lot," she said with a sigh. "He just needs time."
"That's what we keep saying," Kai argued, "but he seemed better than this at first."
"When he was locked in Mike's room for five days?" Kendrix countered.
"Fine, after that," Kai muttered. "He seemed like he was doing better for a while. Now we can't say anything that doesn't set him off... when he's paying attention. Which honestly isn't that often."
It was her turn to frown. "He doesn't seem that bad to me. A little distracted, maybe, but not really upset. Except sometimes after training, I guess. But the rest of the time, he's okay."
Kai hesitated. "Maybe I just don't see him much the rest of the time," he said at last.
"You could," Kendrix said, giving him another nudge.
"If I wanted to get fired," Kai retorted.
"Since when can you get fired for hanging out with your friends?" she wanted to know. "He's your team leader. He keeps asking you for military advice. You should just meet him somewhere and have a friendly question and answer session or something."
"We talk about that kind of thing after training sessions," Kai pointed out.
"When he's obviously not at his best!" Kendrix exclaimed. "I hope you're not basing your whole impression of him on how he is right after you've been hitting each other with swords or throwing each other around on the mats."
"Not entirely," Kai muttered, refusing to look at her. "No."
"Kendrix?" Maya sounded sorry for the intrusion, but she asked, "What time is it?"
Kendrix glanced at the watch she'd put back on after target practice, and her eyes widened. "Time to go," she said quickly. "We have to pick up Jewel," she added, for Kai's benefit. "I'll see you tomorrow for lunch?"
"1230," he agreed. "Hey, did you get a message from Medlab?"
She paused. "Yeah," she said, very aware of Maya and Damon's presence. "At least, Sarah says I did. I haven't checked my messages since before lunch."
"So they're starting at the top of the GSA and working their way down," Kai said. "I wondered if it might be just Command."
She shook her head wordlessly.
"Okay, well." Kai was frowning, which in this case was probably a good sign. "We'll deal with it tomorrow. Don't worry."
Kendrix smiled at him, because not worrying wasn't an option but it was good to have allies. If worse came to worse she might be able to get Leo to excuse her from the physicals. He seemed to be good at persuasion.
If she wanted his help, though, she would have to tell him why. And she couldn't tell one teammate and not the others. Kai didn't count; she'd known him forever... but in the seconds it took her and Maya to say goodbye to Kai and Damon, she'd already decided how to answer the question she knew Maya wanted to ask.
"Why did Kai tell you not to worry?" Maya asked, comfortingly predictable as she and Kendrix made their way off of the Megaship. The only problem was that Terra Venture had computers and cameras everywhere.
"It's kind of private," Kendrix said, making her best apologetic face. "Can I tell you tonight, after Jewel goes to bed?"
"Of course," Maya agreed readily. She smiled as she added, "Assuming that Jewel does eventually go to bed."
Kendrix laughed, linking her arm through Maya's as they walked along. "I'm optimistic," she declared.
Maya nodded, long loose hair sliding over her bare shoulders. "As am I," she agreed.
Their optimism turned out to be only partially justified. Jewel was still cranky and contrary after the misunderstanding at school, and her share parents told them that she was currently upset with everyone from Earth. No exceptions. It was a blanket reaction that included Kendrix until Maya pointed out that Kendrix had left her home and all her family too, to come work on Terra Venture.
Jewel seemed suspicious of this news. "You don't have any family here?" she demanded of Kendrix.
"No family," Kendrix agreed. She was walking along beside them, Jewel clinging stubbornly to Maya's hand while she interrogated Kendrix. "I left them all behind on Earth."
"Do you have any friends?" Jewel wanted to know.
"I have Maya," Kendrix said, lifting her gaze to smile at the other girl. "She's my friend."
"She's my friend too," Jewel said. "She's my only friend here. But if she's your only friend too, I guess you can have her when I'm with my other parents."
"Okay," Kendrix agreed carefully. She wasn't any good at reasoning with children, and the only thing she'd really learned from spending time with Maya and Jewel was that it was better not to set them off if at all possible. "That seems fair."
This must have been the right thing to say, because a moment later she felt Jewel fumbling for her hand. Little kid fingers wrapped around hers, uncomfortable and sticky and too tight. It didn't last long, as Jewel got distracted by something she had to point to almost immediately, but Kendrix didn't complain while it did. It actually seemed kind of cute.
A lot cuter than the temper tantrum she threw when she didn't get what she wanted for dinner, even after Maya explained to her that they weren't on Mirinoi anymore and they didn't have the same food. Definitely cuter than calling Maya names, saying that she hated the Power Rangers, and threatening to run away to find her real family. It was by far their worst night with her since she'd arrived on Terra Venture.
Through it all, Maya stayed calm and patient with both of them. Because Kendrix came very close to losing her temper several times, which she knew perfectly well was counterproductive, but Maya never asked her to leave. She sighed, she hauled Jewel away from things she could destroy, and she told Kendrix to go get her some water when Jewel started screaming and wouldn't stop.
Kendrix was glad for anything to do that didn't involve small children at that point, so she didn't question the request. But when Maya took the glass she brought back and tossed the water in Jewel's face, she couldn't help giggling. She clapped her hand over her mouth, eyes wide, but Maya paid no attention.
"This is a very hard thing you're doing," Maya told Jewel, in the momentary cessation of sound. "That doesn't give you the right to make it harder for everyone else too."
Jewel's face screwed up, and Kendrix braced herself for more screaming. The little girl started to cry instead, hitting Maya when she tried to hug her, but Maya wasn't deterred. She wrapped her arms around Jewel and held her tight, straightjacketing her in an embrace that was Ranger strong.
"You're so mean!" Jewel wailed, loud sobs only partially muffled by Maya's body. "I hate everyone on this planet! I want to go home!"
"Me too," Maya said quietly. She didn't let go of the girl, and Jewel finally collapsed against her and let herself be held. "I want to go home too."
"You're making me stay here," Jewel cried. Her voice lasted longer than her strength, apparently. "Why can't we go back? I want my real parents! I want my house and all my stuffed animals! I don't have any stuffed animals here! And all the food tastes yucky!"
"We can't go back," Maya murmured. "Mirinoi was attacked; it's not safe there anymore. Your parents wanted you to be safe."
"I want to go home," Jewel sobbed, clutching Maya like she was the last thing she had in the world. "Please let me go home."
For the first time, Kendrix saw tears in Maya's eyes, and she knelt down beside them without thinking to rub her friend's back. Maya's eyes closed, tears escaping silently as Jewel continued to cry. Kendrix touched the little girl's hair tentatively, and when there was no reaction, she put her arms around both of them and leaned her head against Maya's shoulder.
They stayed like that for what felt like a long time. She didn't dare say anything; she couldn't even comprehend what they had lost, so how could she say she was sorry? She almost felt bad for being there at all, except that they so clearly needed someone. But maybe not her--not with physicals coming up, and their inevitable discovery that Kendrix, too, would be leaving them...
She had never regretted her disease more than she did at that moment.
She didn't feel any better when Jewel finally tried to wipe her eyes without letting go of Maya, and the little girl plucked at Maya's bracelet and asked if she could have it. "It was a present from my friend," Maya said gently. "I can't give it away. But we can make some of our own."
Jewel hesitated, and Maya reached up to brush her own tears away. "I think we need more water," she told Jewel with a sad smile.
"I want a bracelet," Jewel said, before Kendrix could offer to get it. "I'll make one for you, and one for Kendrix, and I'll make some for my other parents too and then we'll all be together."
"I think that's a really good idea," Maya said, taking a deep breath and managing a better smile this time. "I'll make one for you, and Kendrix will too, and then we can all trade."
Jewel was nodding, already moving from grief to determination. "You and Kendrix have to make bracelets for each other, too. So that nothing bad happens to you. I can't watch you all day, you know."
Kendrix felt a smile threaten, despite the fact that she was just now remembering that she couldn't be this little girl's parent. She hadn't even thought about it when Maya asked her to help--she and the rest of the team had been there, on Mirinoi, and they were Jewel's last connection to her home. The least she could do was provide respite foster care in her off hours... "share parenting," Maya's people called it. Children came first on Mirinoi, and Kendrix might not have much practical experience but she understood the principle.
Besides, this was Maya. A woman from a world under siege who had never asked anything more of them than that they not shoot her before she could go back. Kendrix had been ready to give up her whole life to follow such a selfless soul back through that portal, and maybe her whole life didn't amount to very much, but she had always thought it was hers to give.
Now she was realizing that giving her life to other people also meant taking it away. Maybe that was the real reason she'd had to fudge, fake, and outright lie her way onto the colonist roster. But Terra Venture would go on without her, and she thought even Maya would forgive her eventually.
Jewel, though. Jewel might have been a mistake. How could she let a child who had already lost so much bond with someone who would never see her grow up?
Since she'd gotten a morpher she hadn't had a single bad day, which was probably just the extra strength from the Power helping to keep her going--it wouldn't last forever, but she'd been too busy to do anything other than be grateful. She had accepted the GSA's "adventure of a lifetime" as her last chance to do something spectacular and farflung before she was confined to a bed somewhere, and she still believed in that choice. But she couldn't act like someone who was building a new life for the new world indefinitely.
"Water first," Maya was saying, when Jewel wanted to start her bracelets right away. She was already holding Jewel's hand, and she took Kendrix's as she stood up, leaving her no choice but to follow them into the kitchen.
Maya washed her face, shaking her wet hands in Jewel's direction afterward, which made her shriek. Then Jewel wanted to wash her face, too, and she chased Maya around the apartment with wet hands as soon as she'd made a token effort at it. Kendrix had to laugh, wondering again how the children of Mirinoi compared to children the universe over: were they all so mercurial?
Maya had found twine, string, and hemp on one of her first outings with her new GSA ID, and she brought all of them out now. Jewel seemed to need no instruction, so Maya used her knife to cut whatever the girl requested and in between she taught Kendrix to weave and tie knots. With easy, repetitive motions, she made three-dimensional braids, patterns, and spirals out of the flat string.
It was like making friendship bracelets, Kendrix observed at one point. That turned out to be a mistake, because Maya agreed that it was and Jewel protested that it wasn't at all. This required Kendrix to try to explain what friendship bracelets were, and not only could she not demonstrate, she found she wasn't really sure why people made them either.
"It's mostly kids that trade friendship bracelets," she explained. "We didn't make them when I was little, so I never learned."
"On Mirinoi, anyone who loves someone else may give them a bracelet," Maya said. "No matter their age."
"Kendrix, hold out your hand," Jewel said imperiously. "I have to see if this fits."
The bracelet Jewel was making was too big for her wrist, so the girl set about unweaving one end. Maya suggested she just make it twice as big, so that Kendrix could wrap it around her wrist twice, but Jewel insisted that it fit "right." She was almost as painstaking about it as Kendrix--with considerably better results. Some of her knots were a little fuzzy after she'd picked them out and redone them, but it was more consistent than the wandering tight and loose again weave that Kendrix managed.
Jewel seemed to like the bracelet anyway. The simple spiral Maya had taught her was the easiest and the prettiest, so Kendrix had made one for both of them. Maya, too, had made two similar bracelets: complicated flat braids that had the first letters of their names knotted into them somehow. Jewel's bracelets were completely different, a dot pattern for Kendrix and a wave pattern for Maya.
Kendrix had no idea how to fasten them, so she let Jewel do it for her. She was a little surprised when Jewel just tied it on. "Do you have to undo the knot if you want to get it off?" she asked curiously.
Jewel just blinked at her like she'd said something in another language. "I guess," she said after a moment.
"Most people don't take them off," Maya said gently. "Removing a bracelet is considered a rejection of the person who made it."
"Oh!" Kendrix put her free hand over her bracelets. "Well, I won't take them off then." She thought maybe she should warn Kai, just in case Jewel decided to start passing out bracelets. He wouldn't be allowed to wear "jewelry" with his uniform.
Jewel kept working, making bracelets for the rest of her parents while Kendrix helped Maya clean up a little. Sure enough, once she finished the next two, she announced, "Maybe I should make bracelets for all of the Power Rangers."
Before Kendrix could say anything, though, Maya swept in and scooped up the remaining materials. "Maybe tomorrow," she told Jewel. "It's time to get ready for bed now."
Jewel pouted, but she must have been tired because she dragged herself through her bedtime routine all on her own. She climbed into Maya's hammock without another word. Maya had set aside a bunk for each of them, but Jewel never slept on hers. Maya usually slept in the hammock too, leaving Kendrix the only one on an actual bunk. Sometimes she wondered what she was missing.
Maya sat down beside the hammock and Jewel immediately sat up again, looking around. "Good night, Kendrix," she called. She held up her arms, looking, for maybe the first time all evening, like the small innocent child she was.
Kendrix came over to give her a hug, and then Maya gave her a hug, and then Jewel had to inspect both their bracelets again. Then she asked Maya to turn the lights back on so she could see her own--they'd left a small light on in the living area so they could see, but apparently Jewel didn't think it was enough.
"You can feel them," Maya told her firmly, when Kendrix would have gone to get the lights. "They'll still be there in the morning. Would you like a song before you sleep?"
Jewel settled down again, moving Maya's pillows and pulling the blanket up over her shoulder. "Yes please," she said, looking very awake.
It didn't last through the second song. Her eyes were closed before Maya finished singing, and when Maya got up and moved her stool a little to one side, Jewel didn't so much as stir. Kendrix knew the feeling. She wished she was in bed right now, too.
"Can we talk?" Maya whispered, coming over to stand very close. "I know it's late, but I'm worried about you."
"You're worried about me?" Kendrix whispered back. "I just wish there was something I could do for the two of you."
"You're doing everything just by being here with us," Maya murmured. Then she put her hands on Kendrix's arms and added, "See? That's why I'm worried about you. You look sad when I say that."
Kendrix lifted one hand to Maya's elbow, tugging her gently away from the hammock toward the couch on the other side of the living room. "You asked me why Kai told me not to worry," she said, very softly. "It's because Medlab wants to do physicals for everyone in the colony, and when they do mine, they're going to find out something that I didn't tell them before."
"Medlab, those are your healers," Maya said, sitting down with her slowly. "They want to look at you and see if you're healthy?"
"Yes," Kendrix said quietly. "They're going to want to check out everyone every month or so, to make sure that traveling in space isn't making anyone sick."
"Is it making you sick?" Maya asked, studying her carefully.
"No," Kendrix said with a sigh. Glancing in the direction of the hammock, she lowered her voice even further. "I'm already sick. I have cancer... do you have that on Mirinoi?"
She thought they probably did, but maybe they didn't recognize it. Or maybe they used a different name. She was a little surprised when Maya nodded without hesitation. "Yes, I'm familiar with some kinds of cancer. It's very rare, where I come from."
"Not so rare on Earth," Kendrix murmured. "It's getting more common. Some people think it's because of the chemicals we use to make all this machinery, or maybe something about the machinery itself that makes us sick."
"Are many of you sick?" Maya asked, her eyes wide.
"No," Kendrix said quickly. "Not on Terra Venture, anyway. All the colonists were screened for medical issues before they were allowed on the roster. Our health care is going to be pretty basic out here, at least compared to what we have on Earth, and the GSA can't provide the kind of treatment a really sick person needs."
"Can they help you?" Maya breathed. "Even my people can treat some kinds of cancer."
"No one can treat my kind," Kendrix said, very softly. "At least, not more than they already are. I lied about it to get into the colony, because I know I'm going to die and I want the end of my life to mean something. I want it to be special."
She had thought she could say it without crying--she'd thought it often enough--but something about hearing the words made her throat close up and she swallowed hard. Tears pricked her eyelids when Maya reached out to lay the back of her hand against her face. "Your life is special no matter what you do, Kendrix," she murmured.
"I'm sorry," Kendrix whispered, lowering her head. "I shouldn't have agreed to help you with Jewel. She doesn't need to lose anyone else."
Maya wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close, and Kendrix hugged her back unashamedly. "We're all going to die," Maya whispered. "It doesn't matter when or where or how. It matters what we do in the meantime."
Kendrix tried to breathe normally, to not sniffle, but with the comfort and the fatigue and the unfairness of it all she couldn't help it. Now poor Maya had to soothe another crying child. And she just did it, patiently, lovingly, like she had endless comfort to give.
"If Jewel and I turned away from you just because we might lose you," Maya mumured, "we would never love anyone, and then where would we be? Love makes our lives worth living."
"I love you," Kendrix whispered, because she knew she could.
She could hear Maya smile. "I love you too."
"No," Kendrix said, wiping her eyes as she sat up and tried to smile back. It was suddenly very important that Maya know, that she understand how much her presence meant. "I really love you."
To her surprise, Maya giggled, leaning in again to rest her forehead against Kendrix's. "I don't want children anyway," she murmured. Like she was telling a great secret, entrusting it to Kendrix's care.
It must have been contagious, because Kendrix found herself laughing too, quiet and breathy. "Too late," she whispered back. "We have Jewel."
"That happens sometimes," Maya said, soft and earnest as she sat back to meet Kendrix's gaze. "On Mirinoi? Sometimes women who already have children will raise them together."
This was important somehow; Kendrix could hear it in her tone but she couldn't quite understand why. "No one on Terra Venture is allowed to have children until we reach the new world," she said, searching Maya's expression. "But anyone who does then can raise them with whoever they want."
Maya hesitated. "You mean..." She looked like she was trying just as hard to understand, and worried that it wasn't working. "Like you and me?"
Kendrix bit her lip. "I might not make it to the new world," she whispered, very softly.
"This is my new world," Maya whispered back. "I want to share it with you."
Kendrix tried to smile again, but she could feel the expression tremble as tears threatened. She thought Maya was leaning in to hug her, bringing her comfort close as only she could, and she closed her eyes. She felt a mouth soft against hers instead and she held perfectly still because Maya's gentle kiss was overwhelming and so, so fleeting at the same time.
As ephemeral as life, as loving as the woman herself. Her smile was sincere when she opened her eyes, seeing Maya so close in the quiet light. "I'm so glad you did that," she murmured.
A bright smile spread across Maya's face in return. "Me too," she said softly. "I never wanted to grow up."
That had to mean something, and Kendrix reached out to smooth her hair across one shoulder. Maya had put aside her own clothes in favor of shorter skirts and sleeveless shirts, and the yellow fabric blended with her skin in the dimness. "Why not?"
"This..." Maya came close enough to kiss again, and she did, and this time Kendrix was aware enough to enjoy it more while it was happening. "It is a thing of childhood, on Mirinoi," she murmured. "Women together, or men together..."
She saw Kendrix's expression, and she smiled a little. "Is that strange?"
"Childhood?" Kendrix repeated.
"Women are not encouraged to have children the day their bodies come of age," Maya offered quietly. "All the elders say it's better to wait, that children are best served by parents who are not children themselves... is it not that way for you?"
"No, it is," Kendrix said quickly. "I just--I think I misunderstood what you meant by 'childhood.' We say... I mean, on Earth, we'd call them teenagers. People who can have children, but aren't adults yet?"
"Yes," Maya agreed. "Children--teenagers--are encouraged to discover each other with members of their own sex, so that there are no children born to children."
"Don't you have..." Kendrix trailed off. It was moments like this when she realized she had almost no grasp of the medical, technological, or scientific knowledge of Maya's people. "Most women on Earth," she said carefully, "have ways to keep themselves from getting pregnant? Most of the time?"
"Oh, by regulating your hormones?" Maya offered. Almost apologetically, she said, "We don't think that's safe for children."
Kendrix couldn't help giggling. "Someday soon I'm going to pick your brain about, um--everything," she decided aloud. "So... when you grow up, do you have to marry someone of the opposite sex and have children?"
"Oh, no," Maya assured her. "It's just that most people do. Children are sacred, after all."
"So is love," Kendrix said softly.
Maya gave her a beatific smile. "Yes," she whispered. "Love makes our lives worth living."
Kendrix smiled back at her, because she knew for her it already had. They spent the rest of the night right there on the couch, in pajamas under blankets they'd pulled off of the bunks, and even if she didn't sleep very deeply she still felt more comfortable than she had in days. More loved, maybe.
Definitely. Because when she woke up, she was breathing in the sleepy scent of Maya's hair and it took her several seconds to figure out why the light was off. It had been on when they dozed off, because Kendrix hadn't been sure she could fall asleep on the couch and Maya hadn't wanted to wake her up by tripping over something if she got up.
Now, though, little bare feet that didn't belong to Maya were pressed up against her legs. That had to be Jewel, curled up at the far end of the couch and apparently sound asleep. She didn't move when Kendrix stirred, trying to extricate herself, but Maya did.
"Morning?" she mumbled, turning her head to hide her face in the pillow.
"Barely," Kendrix whispered. She knew Maya still had trouble waking up without the sun. "Five o'clock. Jewel's on the couch with us. Do you want the light?"
"Jewel?" Maya twitched, and Kendrix took the opportunity to move out of her way. She slid to her feet while Maya was still trying to sit up. Jewel was buried under the blanket from Maya's hammock, and she didn't show any signs of moving.
"Yes," Maya murmured. Turning to prop herself against the back of the couch, she shifted awkwardly in the darkness. "Light, please."
The light did make Jewel move, but only to burrow further underneath her blanket. Kendrix smiled, and when her eyes met Maya's she thought that maybe they'd had the same idea. So she braced herself against the arm of the couch, Maya lifted her head, and they kissed carefully, sweetly.
Jewel's voice was muffled by the blanket and sleep, but her words were perfectly understandable. "I can hear you kissing."
Kendrix had to laugh, pulling away and straightening up. "Love you too, sleepyhead," she told the blanketed lump at the other end of the couch.
The blanket was thrown off with the righteous indignation of a four-year-old awakened by kissing. "What did you call me?" Jewel demanded.
"Sleepyhead," Kendrix repeated, glancing at Maya to make sure she hadn't said something insulting in some hitherto unknown Mirinoan language. Maya just smiled, so she added, "It means someone who's barely awake."
"I know what it means," Jewel informed her. "I just didn't hear you."
"Okay," Kendrix said, deciding to quit while she wasn't as far behind as she could be. Apparently she was off of Jewel's good list again. She was on Maya's, so that counted for a lot. "I'm going to get dressed and go to work... do you guys want to come with me today?"
Maya looked at Jewel, who gave an entirely unconvincing yawn and drooped pathetically back onto the couch. "I'm too tired," she whined.
Kendrix exchanged glances with Maya, who was trying to hide an expression that might really have been a yawn. "I will return to the forest dome once Jewel is at school," she offered.
"The what?" Jewel lifted her head, looking suddenly interested again.
Kendrix smiled, but she didn't say anything while she got dressed. Maya tried, unsuccessfully, to make the forest dome sound much less exciting than it was. It didn't work. Jewel was up and dressed almost before Kendrix, and one look back at Maya told her that she might as well make breakfast here. They were all going to be eating after all.
Luckily, Jewel's interest in the day extended to the forest dome and the forest dome alone, so Kendrix didn't have to explain to her why she couldn't come to the control tower. Instead, with one last kiss, Maya set off for the forest dome to watch the "sunrise" with Jewel. Kendrix stopped by her room, still smiling, before heading to SMART.
Leo was there. In her room. Sleeping under a blanket on her couch, which looked so eerily familiar that for a moment she didn't even question it.
Then she realized that yes, Leo was sleeping on her couch. He hadn't so much as moved when the lights came on. "Leo?" she said, going over to touch his shoulder. "Leo. Are you awake?"
He obviously wasn't, but when she shook his shoulder gently he groaned, which she recognized as his usual morning greeting. "Leo," she repeated, trying not to smile at the picture he made: sleepy face and tousled hair under her bright red fleece blanket. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he grunted, pushing the blanket back and squinting up at her. "What time is it?"
"Five-forty," Kendrix answered without looking at the clock. "Did you sleep here all night?"
Leo reached up to scrub at his eyes. "Yeah," he repeated, sitting up slowly. "Sorry about that. I guess I just crashed."
"In my room?" she said, smiling to let him know she didn't mind.
"I just--" He stopped. "I guess. Yeah."
"It's okay," she assured him. "Come by anytime. How are you feeling?"
"Good." He looked surprised. "Great, actually." He lifted his head and grinned up at her suddenly, giving her an abashed shrug. "Coming here always makes me feel better, I guess. Sorry to take up space on your couch."
"I told you," she chided, collecting a couple of things from the counter. "Anytime!"
Leo was watching her dance around the room with more attention than her efforts deserved. When she glanced back at him, he raised his eyebrows at her. "You're very happy this morning," he observed.
She couldn't help it. She grinned back at him.
"And now you're smirking," he continued, obviously amused. "Have a fun night... wherever you were?"
"My couch was more comfortable than yours," she declared triumphantly.
He laughed, getting up from the couch and stretching with an easy untired energy before reaching back to fold up the blanket he'd left behind. "Now, a guy wouldn't call any night spent on the couch successful," he teased. "I guess it's different with women."
"Not everything is about sex!" Kendrix called over her shoulder. Backing out of the refrigerator, she tossed one of the juices she'd gotten for him in his general direction. With no warning, he caught it one-handed and almost without looking.
"Hah!" she exclaimed, pointing at him. "You are feeling better!"
Leo paused in the act of opening his juice. "Huh?"
She just shook her head, gathering up her things again and making a break for the door. She'd distracted him, anyway. "Nothing," she said innocently. "See you later!"
"Hey!" he called, just as the door opened.
Kendrix leaned back into the room to catch his eye.
"Close the door," he said.
Frowning, she stepped back inside and let the door close.
Leo's serious expression disappeared, and now he was the one smirking at her. "Does this extra good mood have anything to do with Maya?" he wanted to know.
She just laughed at him, opening the door again and declaring, "Wouldn't you like to know!" as she skipped out into the hallway. It was a new day in a new world, and she was alive to see it begin. How it would end was anyone's guess.