Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Still don't own them.

Once again, thank you to Soar for the awesome beta job. Any left over mistakes are all mine.

15 year old Dean Winchester walked out of his room, he needed to use the washroom and when he rounded the corner, he heard his dad on the telephone. Dean quickly realized that his dad was talking to Pastor Jim. He was debating whether to go and ask his dad if he could say hi, when the next words out of his father's mouth rooted him to the spot.

"No, but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Dean's grades are getting worse. I don't know what to do with the boy anymore. He just won't listen. I was thinking about sending him to stay with you for the school year,so that he would have a stable environment. Maybe that would get his attention," John paused and Dean then heard,"Then tell me what to do, Jim, because I'm fresh out of ideas."

Dean felt blood rush to his head, it felt like someone had just ripped the heart from his chest. His dad wanted to send him away, and why would his dad ask Pastor Jim for another idea, did Pastor Jim not want him either? God,he was such a screw up. Dean didn't want his dad to know that he had heard him, so he walked quietly back to his room, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay.

The next day, Dean pretended that he hadn't heard his father's phone call. When he got home from school later that day, his dad called him into the kitchen and Dean was sure that John was about to tell him to go start packing. What his dad said was the last thing he had expected though. John told him all about his meeting with Holly King and how she suspected that Dean might have dyslexia. John had spent the next couple of hours going through the brochures that Ms. King had given him with Dean. Then,he actually apologized to Dean for not paying attention. His dad never once brought up the idea of sending him away and Dean buried it deep inside himself, or at least he thought he had.

The talk with his father had stirred up those memories again, though, and while Dean was sleeping, his subconscious was replaying this scene over and over in his mind. Unfortunately, Dean's subconscious was a scary place and all his fears and insecurities had been brought to the surface when he'd found out about Frank's rejection of him as a baby. Dean was not recalling this memory accurately.

15 year old Dean Winchester walked out of his room, he needed to use the washroom and when he rounded the corner, he heard his dad on the telephone. Dean quickly realized that his dad was talking to Pastor Jim. He was debating whether to go and ask his dad if he could say hi, when the next words out of his father's mouth rootedhim to the spot.

"No, but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Dean's grades are getting worse. I don't know what to do with the boy anymore. He just won't listen. I was thinking about sending him to stay with you for the school year, so that he would have a stable environment. Maybe that would get his attention," John paused and Dean then heard, "Then tell me what to do, Jim, because I'm fresh out of ideas."

The next day, Dean pretended that he hadn't heard his father's phone call. When he got home from school later that day,his dad called him into the kitchen and Dean was sure his dad was about to tell him to go start packing.

"Jonathan Dean, front and center!" John shouted as soon as Dean walked in.

"Ye..Yes, Ss..Sir," Dean stammered. Dean walked hastily into the kitchen. He father was glaring at him and Dean was getting really nervous.

"I had a meeting with your teacher today. She seems to think that the reason you're screwing up all the time is because you have a learning disability. What do you think?"

"I don't know," Dean said softly.

"She wants to give you a reading test this Friday. You better do well or it's the last straw, Jonathan Dean. I don't have the time to put up with this anymore. I talked to Pastor Jim about you living with him for the school year..."

"Don't send me away, I'll do better, I promise," Dean interrupted. If he left,who would look after Sammy?

"Don't speak until I ask you something. Understand?"

"Yes, Sir," Dean said meekly, his eyes staring at some spot on the floor.

"'I'll do better, I promise,'" John mimicked harshly. "I've heard that before and yet you don't. God, your mom must be so disappointed in you. Are you stupid or just not trying?" John accused his son.

"I don't know," Dean repeated, his entire demeanour radiating that he really believed he was stupid. "I'll try harder, Dad, I swear, just please don't send me away," he begged.

"Well I can't, because Pastor Jim doesn't want to deal with it either. This test,or whatever, better go well Friday, or I will consider something drastic. Maybe that will get your attention. Now get out of my sight. I am so far behind and if something happens to me or Jefferson on this hunt, it will be your fault," John said dismissing his son.

"Dad..." Dean tried.

"No wonder you're a failure, you don't even listen. GO!!!" John said.

Dean slumped out of the room, desperately wishing that someone had pulled the plug on his ventilator after he was born. Everyone would have been better off then.

When Dean took the test on Friday, it didn't go well. It had been designed to see if Dean did have a learning disability. If he did, then he wasn't supposed to pass,but all Dean saw was that he had failed again. After the test, Dean slunk home and this time, his father came and told him to start packing.

"NO, PLEASE DON'T SEND ME AWAY!!!" Dean shouted as he woke up.

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Sam stretched out on the bed next to his sleeping brother's. To all outward appearances, Dean seemed like he was sleeping peacefully. Sam couldn't understand why, but he really felt the need to stay with Dean after he lay down. He was trying to read To Kill a Mockingbird, his favourite book, when he heard Dean groan.

Sam frowned and glanced over at Dean. A light sweat had broken out on Dean's forehead and he was starting to stir. It wasn't much at first, just little twitches or jerks. Sam was debating whether or not to wake him when Dean mumbled, "No, don't, I'll do better." Sam knew then, that Dean was having a nightmare. He, himself, had suffered enough of them to know. He wondered what Dean was dreaming about when he rose off his bed to wake his older brother. Dean's next words cause him to freeze in his tracks. At first, the words were so soft that Sam wondered if he was hearing them correctly. "Don't send me away."

Send him away. What the hell was he talking about?

Before Sam could react, Dean sat upright, as if he were attached to a spring, and shouted "NO, PLEASE DON'T SEND ME AWAY!!!" Sam quickly closed the gap and didn't realized how loud or how panicked he sounded when he shouted, "DEAN!"

Sam sat on the bed next to his brother, trying to get him to listen to his voice. Although his eyes were open, Dean didn't seem like he was fully awake yet and he wasn't exactly listening to reason.

Dean began gasping for air, he felt as if iron bands were constricting his chest. The last time he had felt like this was after he'd been electrocuted. Sam looked up when he heard the footsteps of Bobby, his father and his grandfather. All three men spoke at once.

"Sam, what happened?" They all asked in unison.

"Nightmare," Sam explained simply and then turned his attention back to Dean. "Dean, it's okay. Listen to my voice." Sam's worry was growing.

John took charge of the situation. He sat next to Dean, pulled him into his arms and held on as if Dean's life depended on it. "Dean, listen to me son. I've got you. It's okay, I'm here. Deep breaths, son. I'm here."

"What's wrong with his breathing?" Frank asked with concern.

"He's hyperventilating," Bobby explained, all the while wondering what Dean had been dreaming about that could have caused him to have this type of reaction. It seemed that Dean was on the verge of a panic attack and Bobby knew that there was only one thing that would cause it, the only thing Dean was truly afraid of, his family leaving him behind.

John kept repeating his mantra. He was really starting worry when it didn't seem to be working. Sam shifted his position on the bed to make sure he was in full view of his brother and joined his father in reassuring Dean that he was there as well.

About five minutes later, Dean finally started to calm down. He was an adult, not that 15 year old kid anymore, his dad wouldn't send him away. Would he? He had to make sure.

"Please don't send me away, dad, okay?" Dean asked in a voice that made him sound like that 15 year old.

"Never, buddy. You're here to stay," John reassured the boy.

"Promise," Dean demanded desperately.

"Yeah, Dean. I promise," John said, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"You were going to," Dean accused.

John could feel the anger that, all at once, came pouring off Bobby and the confusion from Frank and Sam.

"I was never going to, Dean. I promise."

"Where's Bobby? I want Bobby," Dean stated.

John reacted as if he'd been slapped. He tried not to show how hurt he was that Dean was asking for Bobby.

"I'm here, Dean," Bobby said as stepped into Dean's line of sight.

"You'd take me if he sent me away, right?" Dean asked tentatively.

"In a heartbeat, son," Bobby added his own reassurances.

John tried not to react to the way Bobby addressed his son. Right now, he didn't need to get into it with his friend, although he knew it was coming.

John soothed the hair away from Dean's face, intending to tell him once again that he would never send him away, when he first noticed the heat radiating from Dean. John cursed and placed in hand against Dean's forehead. He could definitely feel a fever.

"He's burning up," John remarked.

"Damnit," Sam said. "Stubborn idiot. He should have said he was sick."

"I don't think that's it, Sam," Bobby said as he removed the bandage and checked the stitches on Dean's forehead. He could see the tell tale signs of infection. "I'm going to get the first aid kit."

"No!! Bobby, don't go," Dean said as he grabbed Bobby's hand.

"Alright, Dean," Bobby said soothingly. "Frank, can you grab the first aid kit, it's in the bathroom under the sink. Oh, and grab me a bottle of water out of the fridge would you?" Bobby said to Frank and then turned back to Dean and placed a hand on his shoulder to let him know he wasn't leaving. He tried to ignore John's glare.

"No problem," Frank said as he retreated from the room. He could feel the escalating tension and was glad for a chance to escape. He quickly found the items Bobby had requested and brought them to Bobby, only because he knew that Dean needed them. He really didn't want to go back into that room.

Bobby pulled the antibiotic cream out of the kit and went to apply it to Dean's forehead, but John reached over and grabbed it from Bobby's hand.

"I got it," John all but growled. "He's my son. I can take care of him." John applied the cream and took the antibiotic pills that Bobby was holding out and after some coaxing, got Dean to swallow them.

"Dean," John said firmly. "You need to lie back down now. You'll feel better after you sleep."

"Yes, Sir," Dean mumbled and obeyed. His dad had just given him an order. It didn't take long before he was sound asleep again.

"Just what he needs, another order," Bobby mumbled under his breath. Of course, John heard it. The two men glared at each other, each daring the other to say something.

"Dad, Bobby!!" It was all Sam needed to say. They could both read the warning to take whatever argument they were about to have outside.

"Sam, stay here with your brother," Bobby ordered. "Johnny, come with me. I want to have a little chat."

Sam was torn. He wanted to follow his dad and ask him what Dean had been talking about, but he didn't want leave Dean's side. He watched his dad and Bobby walk out of the room and Sam didn't fail to note that John face was a mixture of sadness as well as anger. Sam knew that John was hurt that Dean had asked for Bobby and much like Dean when John was hurt, anger became the dominant emotion. Sam made a decision and it was an easy one. He sat back down on his bed.

"Hey, Grandpa," Sam said.

Frank read Sam's thoughts. "I'll go eavesdrop," he said as he followed Bobby and his son-in-law out of the room.

"Everything's going to be okay, Dean. I promise," Sam said to his sleeping brother.

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As they left the room, Bobby grabbed John and physically hauled him out onto the porch.

"Okay Johnny, spill. What the hell was Dean talking about in there?" Bobby demanded.

"Look, Bobby, it's none of your business. There was a misunderstanding, but we worked it out," John explained tensely.

"If you worked it out, why is he having nightmares?" Bobby accused.

"It's the fever," John reasoned.

"That bullcrap and you know it, John Winchester. Now tell me what happened?"

"Why, so you can fix it? Do you think you're the only one that can?" John said angrily.

"What. Happened. Johnny," Bobby ground out through clenched teeth.

Dean wasn't the only one this trick worked on and John knew that Bobby wasn't going to let it go. He took a deep breath and admitted the truth. "I was reaching my wits end over Dean's schoolwork. I called Pastor Jim and asked if he would take Dean for the school year, to give him some stability. He must have overheard the conversation."

Bobby's own anger grew exponentially with every word John was uttering. His face turning a bright shade of red, as his blood pressure matched his temper. His fists clenched at his side and Bobby found that he had to restrain himself. He really wanted to haul off and hit the man.

"YOU DID WHAT? Did you lose whatever sense God gave you? That's the worst thing you could have done!!!!" Bobby thundered.

"I didn't do it, did I?" John defended himself, his rage growing because he felt he shouldn't have to. Dean was his son.

"You know full well that doesn't matter. This is Dean, the knowledge that you even considered it obviously devastated him. Did you even stop to check to see if the boys were anywhere around when you had that conversation with Jim, or did you want him to find out?" Bobby accused.

"How can you ask me that?" John asked, hurt entering his tone.

"You said it yourself, one well placed line ended every confrontation you had with Dean. Was that your way of dealing with Dean's school problem? I mean, if you really wanted Dean to have stability you could have just settled down and kept the boys in one school." Bobby forced out as his face twisted in rage, at the thought that there was a possibility that John would deliberately hurt Dean.

"You have no right to accuse me of that, Singer. It was a rash thought and one I would never have followed through on." John's own temper was rising again.

"Sure, it's easy to say that now," Bobby sneered. He was deliberately trying to get a rise out of John. It worked as the vein in John's forehead started pulsing. It worked a little too well.

"What makes it your business anyway? If that's how I chose to deal with Dean, then it was my decision to make."

"You made it my business. I care about your boys and want what's best for them. You're just damn lucky you didn't, Johnny, because if you had sent that boy away, I would have gone and fetched him and you wouldn't have ever gotten him back," Bobby stated.

"Dean's my son, Bobby, not yours!!" John stated coldly.

"I know that."

"Do you?" John snapped.

"I care about Dean like he's my own son, Sam too, but you're his father. I could never replace that."

"And yet you try," John accused. He wanted to hurt Bobby and with his next words he went right for the jugular. "You call him son. You never hesitate to take charge when things need to be fixed. You screwed up your relationship with your own brother and nephews, are you using Dean to replace them?"

John couldn't have hurt Bobby worse than if he'd attacked him physically. John knew that Bobby looked at Sam and Dean's relationship and wished he had it with his own brother. He'd grown to love John and had unofficially adopted him as a younger brother. He had thought John felt the same way. Bobby wanted to hurt John back and said the one thing that would. "You want to know why I act like Dean's father, Johnny, I'll tell you," Bobby stated coldly as he turned and faced John Winchester and said the words that he knew would enrage John like nothing else would have.

"Please enlighten me, master," John said sarcastically. He was already regretting his earlier words, but he found himself unable to back down now.

"Because somebody has to. You never did," Bobby said to John, going for the maximum amount of damage

"HOW DARE YOU !!!" John shouted loud enough to wake the dead. The last time John had been this mad was when Frank had rejected Dean. Both men reacted and grabbed a fistful of each other's shirt, both daring each other to say one more word, an excuse to let the fists start flying.

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Sam heard the last thing his father shouted and his concern rose when Dean started to stir. Sam bolted off his bed and he was quick to assure his sleeping brother that he was having another nightmare, that two of the three people he loved most in this world were not about to kill each other. Sam decided he'd had enough, he didn't want to leave Dean's side, but something had to be done.

Sam headed for the front door and he noticed that Frank was getting ready to intervene as well. Frank quickly filled Sam in on what he had heard and the two of them headed out the door together. They found the two hunters in an intense standoff.

Sam found himself feeling a sense of deja vu. He remembered being in this position with his dad a few times himself. Dean was usually the one to step between them and break it up though. He was getting a first hand experience of just what Dean had been through and his admiration for his older brother went up another notch.

"Stop it, that's enough," Sam said firmly as he risked life and limb and stepped between the two men, pushing them apart.

"Stay out of this, Sam," both men stated in unison.

"No!!" Both Sam and Frank shouted back.

"You almost woke Dean. I swear, you do that and Bobby, I don't care if it's your house, you're sleeping on the porch with dad Bobby, you get mad at dad because of how he treats Dean and then you go and pull this. How do you think Dean would have reacted to that little display?" Sam shouted. He wanted to have a go at his dad and Bobby himself.

The tension level rose as Sam's temper was added to the mix. Thinking over Sam's words, John and Bobby managed to unclench their fists.

"John, Bobby, please, this is the last thing we need. Dean loves you both equally," Frank said wisely. Both men turned to stare at him. "What? The whole neighbourhood could hear your argument. You all need to calm down or you're going to escalate the situation. There's no need to be jealous of each other."

"I'm not," both John and Bobby said in unison again. Both hunters dropped their gaze to the ground and looked like chastised four year olds because they knew that Frank was right.

"I just met you guys, but even I can tell you would do anything for each other. You remind me so much of the boys and if I didn't know better, I would swear you really were brothers," Frank said. Despite themselves, Frank's statement pleased both John and Bobby.

Sam forced down his own temper and calmly addressed his dad. "Dad, think about what you're saying. Bobby has never once tried to take your place. He's…" Sam trailed off trying to put his thoughts into words.

"He's Dean's safety net," Frank said finishing Sam's thought. "Someone you know will be there no matter what, someone who offers shelter. If that makes sense."

"I'm his father," John repeated wistfully.

"That has nothing to do with it, John," Frank stated. "Mary had her safety net as well. Whenever a situation became too much, Mary would go to Miles."

"Your butler?" Sam asked in surprise.

"Yes. Miles has worked for us since Mary was about 10. He developed a real soft spot for her, much like you did for Dean, Bobby. Margaret didn't approve of many of the things Mary did and whenever she needed someone to talk to, she would go to Miles. He was a neutral party. It hurts though, so I understand what you're going through, John, but remember, Dean thinks he did something to upset you. If you were in his situation, what's the first thing you would have done?"

"Ask for Bobby," John admitted softly. He turned to his friend and thought about all the times that Bobby had opened not just his home, but his heart, to all three Winchesters. He felt so ashamed over the things he had said. Bobby wasn't trying to take his place. "I'm sorry, Bobby, about everything."

"Me too, Johnny, we both said some pretty awful things," Bobby admitted, also looking ashamed at his own behaviour and nervously pulled his ballcap from his head and wrung it between his hands.

"Frank was right about one thing though," John said gruffly. He wanted Bobby to know just how he felt.

"What's that?" Bobby asked.

"Brothers," was John's only explanation as he extended his hand to Bobby.

Bobby grabbed it and pulled John into a hug. "Brothers," he confirmed wholeheartedly.

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