I can't link up to the 'net because of the storm, so I'm just going to work on this next chapter! This one is going by extra fast… And after this, I will continue my work on Furuba Fight! I promise!

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba. If I did, mom and dad would be ashamed, due to the fact that he is a preacher, and there is cussing and perverted jokes in the story… But I still love it!

This chapter's victim will be everyone's favorite dog, SHIGURE SOHMA!

O.o-YoriandKagra-o.O-O.o-SelinaandPookie-o.O-O.oAyaandZerph-o.O-O.o-YosheandYukio-o.O

Shigure was working on his manuscript, (or, that's what he told his editor…) and the house was totally empty. Lucky him- he didn't have to worry about anyone thinking he was a pervert after this next call.

The phone beside him rang once before he answered it. "Hello?" He said.

"Hello, sir! This is Teresa, from the Love Ya Lingerie store."

"Hey… aren't you the same people who called Kyo Sohma? He got a call offering lingerie just a few days ago."

The woman laughed heartily. "Sir, that man was my boss! He owns the store."

"Your boss is a man? That's mildly creepy…" he said. Yet, he thought to himself, he's one lucky man… I wish I owned a store like that!

"So," said the lady, "would you like to hear about our prices, sir?"

He scratched his chin. He wasn't really sure what he would do with it when he bought it. The only thing he knew of was playing pranks… Then an idea shot through his head. I'll buy some for Akito!

"Yes, I would like to hear some prices!" he proclaimed proudly.

The woman laughed again. "Superb! Sir, you will be very happy to know that all of our prices are extremely fair! You can get a set of underwear with bunny ears for just twenty dollars!"

The sly dog smiled flirtatiously. "So… how much for three sets?"

Two days later…

Shigure had bought five sets for Akito, and two for Tohru (he really wants to get beat up…). When he brought the boxes into the house, Kyo couldn't help but ask what he was up to.

"Oh, nothing!" Shigure answered. Kyo knew that he was lying, though, and wouldn't let the sukebe (pervert) out of his sight. After a few hours, Shigure said to him, "Look, why can't you just trust me? So, I seem suspicious sometimes, but is that really any reason to judge me? Have I ever done you wrong?"

Kyo crossed his arms and plopped to the floor. "I can think of a few moments… If you're thinking of giving Tohru any of that sick lingerie, you've got another thing coming, freak."

The imbecile was utterly shocked. "How did you know that's what I bought!?"

Kyo gave a long and heavy sigh. "It says so on the box, you dimwit. Don't you have any brains at all?"

"Why yes!" Shigure smiled again and put his hands on his hips. "I keep it in a jar, and put the jar in a safe! With the brain, I had no room in my head for the important stuff!"

Kyo looked him up and down in a detecting manner. "And that important stuff would be- let me guess- the pictures in a playboy magazine?"

A big smile from Shigure confirmed all of Kyo's suspicions. Shigure said, "I bought some for Tohru, too!" Kyo gave him a nasty look. "But, of course, I'll just give it to someone else! I'm sure Akito could use more," added the novelist in an attempt to save his sorry butt.

Kyo huffed and left Shigure, satisfied with the conclusion of the discussion.

A few hours later, around noon…

Shigure arrived at the main house, with the "presents" all wrapped up. He pressed the entrance button, stated that he needed to speak with Akito, and they let him in.

When he reached Akito's room, about five minutes later, he handed her the gift box, and she looked at him warily. "This better not be anything stupid, Shigure." She said with annoyance apparent in her eyes.

He waved his arms in front of his face. "Of course it isn't, Akito-san! Why would I buy you something that wasn't useful to you?"

She smiled, but her eyes still looked unbelieving. So, of course she wasn't totally shocked to see that the sick dog had bought her lingerie.

That night, he made a trip to the emergency room.

O.o-YoriandKagra-o.O-O.o-SelinaandPookie-o.O-O.oAyaandZerph-o.O-O.o-YosheandYukio-o.O

Yay! Chapter five is done! Though, chapter four is still my personal favorite… Man, I wanna do Hatori's chapter so bad, but… I'm going to wait until I draw his name out of the bowl… (sigh) Anyways, please review!