A/N: ok so I was starting my new story when I re-read this and decided to maybe pick it up again. So here is chapter 5 after about a year and a half. Oh well I hope you like it!

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Chapter 5: Flattery

I will admit it

If you admit it

It's harder than we both thought

It's easier to fall apart

Look where we are

I can forgive it

I can't forget it

You've left me here with all these scars

And you can't deny the hardest part

I'm not in your arms

-Aly & AJ

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Wondering everyday whether or not you should be together won't bring the inevitable any closer. The only way to surely know is not to be afraid to ask the question to unlock what destiny will bring. Open the doors and watch the world move around you. Don't live in the moments of your mind where only fantasies and memories dwell, instead live in the future of reality, where the world is alive and only fate knows what really is possible. Let fate show you how your memories should be molded for the future of your life and relationship.

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The rest of the day I sulked around my room, dragging my feet clad in fuzzy blue slippers. My hair was piled on top of my head in a messy bun, strands of my chocolate brown hair falling in front of my green eyes. The sounds of the other children playing games and running around in the house traveled into my room. They didn't need me to have fun, I was just a nuisance. Do they even realize I'm not down there with them?

I walked over to the window, touching my hand against the pane as I watched the rain outside slide down the glass outside. I sat down on the soft cushion of the window seat. The water trickled down the pane creating a spider web of water covering the outside world. The bright flowers of the garden were weighed down with rain and the world looked dreary, much like my mood.

I was so absorbed in the water circling down the pane that I didn't hear the footsteps coming across the wood panels of my floor. The footsteps stopped right behind me and a hand laid softly on my slender shoulder.

"I just came to see if you were ok." A voice came from behind me and scared me nearly shitless.

"Dan..." I murmured softly, turning to face him. His eyes were bright blue against his pale, cold skin; trickles rain water fell from his jet black hair.

"Are you ok?" he asked calmly, not taking his warm hand from my shoulder. Right now it was the only warmth in my whole body.

"Yeah…yes…I'm fine…really I am fine," I stuttered, the words came out more like I was trying to convince myself more than him. I could tell though from his eyes that he wasn't buying my statement.

"Anna…" he said squeezing my shoulder, looking at me with knowing eyes. Even though I had only known him for a short while, he already could see through my façade of happiness and acceptance. Pulling my knees up closer to my chest, I left room on the window seat for him to sit, which he did as if reading my mind.

"I wish I could be part of something. I feel like an outsider…" I whispered, turning my face from his. I couldn't look at him; there was something about the way his blue eyes were piercing my façade with daggers that scared me. I didn't want him to see me; nobody was supposed to see me, nobody.

"But you don't have to be…" he soothed; his hand had moved from my shoulder to on top of my delicate hand resting atop my knee.

"Dan…" I whispered looking at him. I knew somewhere deep down that he was right but I couldn't accept it. I couldn't think about it, how the entire reason I felt alone and scared was because I wanted it that way. I didn't want to feel part of the family because they weren't my family; I didn't want it to be like I forgetting who my family was.

He kept looking into my green eyes, as if trying to search for something in my eyes that had been hidden for so long. His blue eyes were calm and warm and before I knew it he was leaning forward closer and closer. I just closed my eyes and let his lips press softly against mine.

Everything in my mind melts away as he continues to kiss me, his lips moving softly against mine, and I let everything pretense in me go and kiss him back as the rain drops to the ground outside.

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Earlier that day…

I sat on my bed, returning from my crying episode outside with Dan. I pull out my mother's diary again, the only thing that provides comfort for me anymore.

I flipped it open to one of the first entries of the diary, one of my favorites.

I can't be afraid of what will happen between us anymore. I just have to jump off head first and hope for the best, because I can't pretend that there isn't anything there anymore. I love him more than words can express, him, Harry James Potter. That will never change…

Hermione

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A/N: anyways please review. I don't know if this is any good so please review and let me know what you think. And all the stuff from previous chapters and the mysteries of the diary entries will be explained probably next chapter or the one after that.