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The Light at the End of the Tunnel.

Chapter nineteen: There Is Only Hope

The whole common room spun round when Harry screamed. Ginny dived forward and managed to catch him before he hit the ground. Ron leapt to his feet swearing.

"Bastards, I'm going to slaughter those bastards!" He took two strides towards Ginny and took Harry. He recoiled slightly when he saw the look of abstract terror frozen on his friend's face. People had run over and began to crowd round. Hermione and Ginny forced them back so Ron could get Harry up to the boy's dormitory.

Ron sprinted up the stairs and lay Harry on his bed. He stood nearby wondering what he could do to help then, deciding that he could do nothing, shook his head, turned and left.

He descended the staircase slowly, dreading the questions that waited for him at the end. Sure enough there was a large group of people waiting for him.

"What was that all about, Ron?" asked one fourth year girl. Ron shook his head, they looked scared and needed reassuring but he couldn't tell them.

"Nothing." He answered shortly and walked away. They looked even more worried when Ron refused to answer. They walked away and began muttering amongst themselves.

"You know what the scary thing is don't you?" Ron asked as he approached Ginny and Hermione, they shook their heads, "It's not even that much of an issue anymore. It happens so often that it isn't that unusual. It's not a major issue. We don't panic and get a professor. We look after him ourselves. I feel sorry for Harry, having it happen to him so often that that becomes the case." Hermione nodded.

"How he lives with it." She shook her head wonderingly.

"The look on his face, though, this was worse than normal." Ginny said.

"Yeah, but there's nothing we can do. We just have to be there for him when he needs us." Ron said. There was silence for a minute, then Ron continued, "He'll get through it. He's done it before." There was silence for a while.

"I wish it was all over." Said Ginny vehemently.

"Me too. But I almost wish it wasn't. Right now I'm wondering whether the future will be with Harry or without." Said Ron.

"That's the worst feeling, knowing that there is nothing we can do, we just have to wait and see." Said Hermione. Ron nodded.

"Yeah. It's all down to Harry now."

Harry thrashed in his sleep. In truth, it was neither true sleep nor consciousness. It was the limbo between, where you are unconscious but can still dream.

Harry's breaths came in short gasps and he arched his back as he felt another knife plunge into his side. He fought hard not to cry out, some subconscious part of his brain ordering him to do so. He ducked from the punch he imagined was coming. He jerked his head to the side as if it had connected.

He couldn't hold it anymore, he cried out, begging for it to stop. He yelled, turned and thrashed, lashing out with his arms trying to force them away. He screamed and twisted and beat the air with his hands and still he didn't wake up.

He realised, in his unconsciousness that he was trapped. He knew that he was stuck in the limbo between consciousness and unconsciousness. He cried out in anguish, cried out to be released. He felt it constricting in on him. He could see them, their knives held high, ready to stab into his wounds. He screamed again and tried to push them away, when that didn't work he sobbed and turned away, trying to ignore them. Suddenly he felt all the constriction fade.

And then he woke. He sat bolt upright half drawing his sword. He felt the sweat trickling down his forehead.

Suddenly he relaxed. He understood. He understood that it was nothing more than the aftermath of reliving the memories. He laughed slightly. He understood now, and it relieved him. The hidden demons, the memories of what he had been through would always be there, they couldn't be beaten. He couldn't force them to go away.

But they could be controlled. By accepting that they were there he could learn to live with them. By fighting them he brought them into his conscious mind and that would destroy him. By accepting that they were there and not trying to fight them he could put them in his subconscious mind. Then he wouldn't be dwelling on them all the time, trying to fight them all the time, and they would effectively go away. By not fighting them, he wasn't thinking about them.

He laughed again. He'd won.

He ran down the stairs and walked over to where Ron, Hermione and Ginny were sat, looking subdued. They looked up when he approached. They grinned broadly when they saw that he was smiling. Ron laughed and shook his head.

"I don't get you mate, you tell us about being tortured, practically have a fit and then you come out the other end grinning like a maniac. And you tell us you will die fighting Voldemort."

"I've got plenty to grin about. Is that so wrong?" Ron's look of happiness was replaced by puzzlement.

"What have you got to grin about, mate?"

"That's nice."

"Seriously." Harry laughed.

"Alright, I'll tell you. You know these weird fainting things I've been having, like the one earlier?"

Ron rolled his eyes.

"No, never seen one, tell me about them."

"Shut up"

"Sorry mate, carry on."

"Well, the simple fact is I think I've found a way to beat them." Hermione gave a surprised, joyful shriek.

"Really? That's wonderful Harry!"

"How?" Asked Ginny curiously. Harry grinned.

"How do you deal with someone who is pissing you off?"

"Beat the shit out of them?" Ron offered helpfully. Harry rolled his eyes.

"What's the moral way to deal with them?"

"Ignore them?" Asked Hermione hesitantly.

"Precisely." Harry's grin widened. Hermione looked puzzled for a moment.

"You're not saying that…"

"Yep."

"You mean that, after all that, all you had to do was bloody ignore them." Ron interrupted, slightly angrily.

"Whoa," said Harry holding his hands up, "easy, remember, it's not that easy. You can't just not think about them, you can't help it. It's not as easy as it sounds. All I'm doing, by not thinking about them is pushing them to my subconscious and that in itself is difficult. It's one of those things you can't help thinking about." Ron shrugged.

"Fair enough. Bloody good news though."

"You're telling me."

"So what now? Is this going to help you defeat Voldemort?" Asked Hermione.

"Well it's got to, hasn't it? It means that at least he won't go nuts in the middle of fighting him." Interrupted Ron.

"I don't honestly know." Said Harry, "I don't know, maybe fighting evil itself will bring them all to my conscious mind and will destroy me or maybe I'll keep control. I don't know. Only one way to find out isn't there?"

"Guess so." Said Ron.

"You'll be fine." Ginny reassured him.

"You don't know that. You can hope that, but you don't know that." Harry's voice, though not intended, was slightly harsh. Ginny raised her eyebrow, her cool composure not affected.

"But in times like this, that's all we've got isn't it? Hope?" Harry laughed bitterly and turned away.

"Hope? Hope is no good to me. Hope won't beat Voldemort for me. So why bother hoping?" Ginny frowned.

"Because that's all we can do."

"No. We can prepare and we can fight. That's all we can do." Ginny's patience was slowly eroding away.

"So what do you fight for, if not hope for a better world?" Harry opened his mouth, hesitated, then closed it again. What did he fight for? Why did he fight? Because he had to, he supposed, because he had no option. He was sure there was more to it than that. What gave him the passion that made his blows bite deep and his aim sure? If not what did he fight for then who did he fight for?

"I fight for myself, my friends and because Voldemort must be defeated."

"You do not fight for the future? A better future?" Once again Harry hesitated, he chose his words carefully.

"I fight for a better future, I do not hope for a better future." Ginny was about to protest angrily when Hermione held up a hand to silence her.

"Why don't you hold any hope for yourself, Harry?" She said gently, Harry turned away.

"Because everything I have ever hoped for has been taken away from. So I will not hope for my life." Ron laughed.

"You fool. The world is not one big picture. Look at what you have got, not what you haven't got. What about Cho? Didn't you hope like crazy for her? And haven't you got her? If you refuse to hope because of the chance of losing then you have already given up. This is what you should do. Fight. Fight like crazy; fight like you have never fought before. But hope; hope that you will come out of it, because in the end it is hope that will give you the strength that you will need." A silence greeted the end of Ron's small speech. Hermione looked at her boyfriend curiously.

"I'm proud of you Ron, that was almost profound."

"That was bloody profound." Harry muttered, still turned away. He spun around. "Alright. I'll fight like hell and I will hope like hell. Let's see if it helps." The last bit was delicately infused with sarcasm, but the other three chose to overlook it.

"Good," Said Hermione gently, "because you can do it, you know."

"No, I can hope I can do it." Harry said, with bitter irony. The only answer he received was a painful punch on the arm from Ron.

Harry grinned slightly.

"Point taken. I'll just shut up, shall I?"

"It would be beneficial for your health." Ron growled.

"Subtle."

"Ha, ha. Very bloody funny."

"Stop bickering you two." Hermione said. Harry turned and grinned at her.

"Isn't that my line?" It was Hermione's turn to hit him.

"Not very ladylike."

"Shut up."

Ginny leaned back and watch them bicker playfully. Once again she noted how strange it was, that they could change their moods in the blink of an eyelid and forget all about their previous. She would never have guessed, had she not been there and participating, that only a few minutes ago they were bitterly arguing about hope and war. She shook her head. It was a shame that they had to live through these times, but she would rather she lived through these times then not lived at all. She shook her head and was interrupted by Harry diving behind her. He seemed to have just been chased around the common room by an irate Ron.

"Protect me Ginny!" She looked at him and laughed.

"You need protecting from Ron?"

"Not normally, but when I've just remarked how pretty his sister is, then yes." She laughed, pleased.

"Didn't you ever get told it was wrong to lie?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't lying, was I?" She saw that twinkle in his eye and laughed again.

"Alright, Potter, what did you really say?" It was his turn to laugh.

"I might have made one teeny comment about how bookwormish Hermione is. He seemed to take it personally." Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Obviously, she is his girlfriend."

"Yeah, but the amount of times he's said the same thing!" Ron's voice interrupted them.

"I am going to kill you Potter!" Harry looked slightly worried. Then shook his head.

"Fool. By the way, Ginny," He looked sideways at her, "I wasn't lying. I do think you're pretty." Ginny laughed, screwed some parchment up and threw it at him.

"Flirt. Think what Cho would say." All Harry had time to do was give a small yelp before he was dived upon by Ron. Ron started hitting him viciously. Harry saw the Portrait Hole open and saw the stern face of Professor McGonagall enter. He grinned and began yelling at the top of his voice,

"Rape! Rape!" Ron glared at him and hit him hard on the arm.

"Shut it, Harry, or I really will bloody have you." Harry silently thanked Ron for saying that. He was about to shout 'rape!' once more when Professor McGonagall's voice cut through.

"I should certainly hope not Mr Weasley! That is not how someone as grown as you should conduct themselves, and besides, I'm sure Miss Granger would be very disappointed." How she managed to keep a straight face, when everyone else burst out laughing was beyond Harry. Ron went bright red and awkwardly got off Harry. He looked at Harry, then at Professor McGonagall, then back at Harry before saying in a strangled voice,

"You bastard!" Harry grinned at him. Professor McGonagall clearing her throat interrupted them.

"Mr Potter, the Headmaster would like to see you." Harry nodded. This was so common nowadays that he barely gave it a second thought.

"I'll see you later, guys." He followed Professor McGonagall out of the common room and towards the Headmaster's office.

"Good news or bad news?" Harry asked Professor McGonagall.

"You'll have to wait and see." Harry looked at her curiously out of the corners of his eyes, there was something in her voice that made him sure she knew, but couldn't decide which it was. He fell silent, a slight feeling of trepidation settling in his stomach.

They approached the stone gargoyle and she gave the password.

"Go straight in." Harry nodded slowly and climbed the staircase. He was about to knock on the door when he remembered Professor McGonagall's words. Instead he opened the door slowly to compensate.

"Harry," said Dumbledore gravely, when Harry stepped in, "Do come and sit down." Harry did so wordlessly, the graveness of Dumbledore's voice unnerved him. "Harry, I have…news." Harry felt the trepidation increase. Not even Dumbledore could tell whether the news was good or bad.

"What is it, sir?"

"The Unspeakables have found a way to get the wards back up."

Harry instantly knew what it was.

"No!" he gasped.

"Yes, I'm afraid." Said Dumbledore sadly. At that point Harry knew what Dumbledore thought it was. Harry felt a sick feeling of despair and terror settle in his stomach.

"How long do we have?"

"Reinstating the ancient wards is one of the rarer, more ritualistic sides of magic. It will be a month before we can start. Then it will only take a few days." Harry nodded, feeling sick at the thought.

"How long until Voldemort realises?"

"A week? Then a week to prepare. He will attack in about two week's time." Not nearly long enough for Harry's liking.

"At least we have enough time to prepare." Harry said despairingly.

"Yes." Said Dumbledore softly. They fell silent.

Then Harry felt a surge of hatred, hatred that once again, Voldemort would come to try and kill him and his friends. To kill everyone he loved. For no good reason but power. He would kill for nothing but power and pleasure, everything and everyone Harry loved and cared about, Voldemort would try to destroy, just to hurt Harry. The hatred rushed through him, lending him strength and determination.

"Then let them come. Let the bastards come and I will teach them to fear."

A/N I'm really sorry that this chapter is late. It had to link the main part of the trilogy to the end, and unfortunately I hadn't really thought about it and there was a gap in the plot which I had to fill. Anyway, I hope you find it acceptable and the next chapter will be out in about a week. Thank you for your patience.

Hockeyman – Thanks for the review. Pretty damn awful, isn't it? How'd I come up with it? Well my knowledge of military torture combined with my imagination did the trick!

Colm - Thanks for the review. It was awful.

Dark Phoenix Mortal - Thanks for the review. Glad you liked the chapter. Hope this one is alright.

Goddess Usaqi - Thanks for the review. I'm glad you think that I have improved my quality of writing. I'm sure your quality of writing is just as high as mine, though. I appreciate it though, it make me feel good that people are enjoying this.

Dragon Sword Master - Thanks for the review. I'm sorry this chapter didn't have any H/C in it but it was only a filler and H/C, as much as I tried, didn't fit in. Apologies, but there will be more in the next chapter.

FSI - Thanks for the review. Harry's son? Where did you get that idea from?

Keep reading and reviewing 'cos I'll keep writing.

Fireboy.