In the life of Emmett
(The Comedy)
Chapter 1- Bad Ideas
"I cannot believe you..."Alice trails off. Ever since Rosalie told them, I have been given praise by Jasper and Edward, And constant, why-did-you-do-that's from Esme, Alice, and Carlise. (When they aren't around...)
"Hey, I was bored." I protest, " It's been hard for me lately, not hunting in what, forever?"
"We all went this morning!" She laughs, I shrug,
"Whatever." I mutter.
"Hey, I invented WHATEVER!"
"Whatever you say, Madonna."I laugh, and get up. I run out and into the game room, before she can hit me with her shopping bags. All 63 of them...
" Emmett!" Edward calls from outside. "Bella's here."
" Coming!" I yell. Bella, Edward's human girlfriend, soon to be wife, is the funniest thing since I Love Lucy. I LOVE watching her human reactions to our vampire lives, and that she falls down A LOT, even on a flat surface. Some times, I wonder,if she is the reason Edward is ALWAYS telling me to stop laughing at her...nah, he's just weird, right?I walk out, and give her a hug.
" Emmett! I-Can't-Breathe!" She chockes out.
"Welcome to my world.Glad to see you, alive." I say.
" Surprizing,no?" Edward adds. We both laugh and she sighs.
" I would rather be Rosalie and Alice's Barbie Doll than be made fun of." She mutters.I smile, and open my mouth.
" Oh dear?And sister Ali-"
"NNNOOOOO!!!!!!!" She screams.Too late, like always. Alice had run in, and she grabs her arms.
"You asked for it..."Alice giggles.
" I need to keep my stupid mouth shut."
" Bad Idea! The only way to win against, her, is to say you'll burn down the malls. ALL OF THEM." I Suggest.Alice scowls, and I laugh.Bella has an evil smile, and runs to her car. We all follow,laughing.My life ROCKS!!!!! Mostly.
" I know I have some matches in here somewhere!" She yells, digging through her truck. I laugh,and Alice screams.
"DO AND DIE, BELLA!!!" She yells, pulling Bella, by the butt, out of her car.Edward joins me in my laughter." DO AND DIE!!!"'
" What is going on here?" Esme asks coming out.
" Bella and I are planning to burn down all the malls." I say. Esme runs over to me.
"DO AND DIE." She mutters. I laugh.
" That's A VERY BAD IDEA!" Carlisle yells from the door. He is next to Esme in a flash. Bella jumps.I laugh,again.Told you she's funny.Edward laughs, but a nervous- don't-threaten-to-kill-her-laugh.
"Sorry,Bella.But One time I accidently burnt down a house we lived at in Alaska, and not one female in this house forgave me. They still are mad about that..."
" I guess we can do it while they are hunting. Wait,Bad idea,right?" I ask, everyone nods.
"BAD IDEA." They say in usion.