Disclaimer: BIG BUG GO SQUASH NOW...oh, and I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!
A/N: Okay, I don't have an excuse for delaying this chapter so long. Honestly, my passion for writing YGO fanfics is diminishing, but I ALWAYS finish a story, and I will finish this one. No matter what.
A/N(2): I don't really know the law too well, so excuse me for any errors
A/N(3): I'm not making fun of French people, lol
Title: Just A Night
Chapter 12: Smooth Criminal
Sunday, May 15th, 2005 (that night)
"Excuse me, officer?" Tristan addressed, staring at the man in uniform behind a desk. The man looked up from his newspaper, but didn't speak. "I'm here to see a Mr. Wheeler and a Ms. Valentine," Tristan continued, adjusting his shirt to look more professional. He had rushed over to the police station after receiving an urgent call from Joey.
The silent officer simply pointed to his collegue, who was positioned before a brass door. Tristan walked over and repeated his statement that he had so briefly stated to the other officer. This officer, however, gave him a verbal answer: "Follow me."
Turning around, the officer pulled out a set of keys, then used one to open the brass door. He then walked in, closing the door behind him. "Your friends are this way."
The officer walked past the many tiny cells that only demanded a bunk bed and a toilet. Tristan grimaced as he glanced at the conditions of the cells. They were filthy, grimy, and desolate. Who would want to end up in here? 'Apparently Mai and Joey,' Tristan thought as they continued to walk by the empty cells.
Finally, he saw them...arguing. Tristan sighed; even in conditions such as these, they still managed to fight. They were meant for one another. "Alright Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler," the officer said, "you have a visitor."
Mai glanced at Tristan, then back at the officer. "For the record, we're not married."
"Yeah, she's an old bag," Joey whispered, folding his arms.
"EXCUSE ME!"
The officer shook his head, then glanced over at Tristan. "You get 15 minutes, but then again, that might be too long with these two." He then walked off, his shoes resounding off the floor.
Once Tristan heard the brass door shut behind the officer, he said: "Okay...what happened?"
"Well," Joey sighed, "we need you to bail us out."
Tristan cocked an eyebrow. "Couldn't Mai have done that?"
"Umm..." Joey started.
Mai rolled her eyes. "We were granted two phone calls. I was going to call my bank so they could make the transaction, but instead," she glared at Joey. Then, "this one over here decides to call you...and then the local pizza parlor."
"Listen, it's not my fault those donuts up front got me hungry!"
"I swear you have the mind of Bakura's ass!"
"Oh yeah? Well, Bakura's ass doesn't even HAVE a mind!"
"My point exactly," Mai whispered, shaking her head at Joey's stupidity.
Before they could go any further, Tristan asked, "so...how did you guys end up here? I mean, I don't see you two as troublemakers..."
"Well...we were at a nudist convention when..."
"Joseph!" Mai yelled, making Joey wince at his real name. Then, "Tell him the truth!"
Sighing, Joey sat on the bottom bunk of his bed. "I guess I'll start from the beginning..."
Pulling his car into Mai's driveway, he put the car in PARK and exhaled a deep sigh. "This is it," he whispered to himself as his eyes caught his reflection in the rearview mirror. He stared into it for several minutes, unsure of the way he looked...he just wanted to be perfect for Mai.
Lowering his head in sadness, his eyes met a beautiful mess of lillies on the passenger's seat. He smiled blissfully, remembering how he saw Mai's eyes in the lillies when he walked into the flower shop. He just had to buy them; everything about them just oozed Mai Valentine--the love of his life.
Stepping out of the car, he brushed off his clothes and fixed his hair.
"Wow...is that Joseph Wheeler?"
Smiling at the sound of her voice, he turned his head to say something, but was immediately caught off guard by what she was wearing: a leather skirt, leather boots, and a purple turtleneck sweater. He swallowed hard, gripping the lillies tightly with his fingers.
"Joey?"
"...I...ummm...bought these for you...they matched your thighs---er, I mean, eyes..."
Mai let out a soft chuckle, staring at the violet lillies. "Thank you...they're beautiful..."
"Just like youuuuu"--He looked away from her, now glancing at the facade of her apratment--"...uuuu're windows..."
Mai cocked an eyebrow. "Windows?" She looked up at the window.
"Yeah...they're beautiful...I mean...wow...look at that rectangular shape..."
"Uhhhhh," she looked back down at the lillies, "I'm going to put these inside really quick." Turning around, she walked into her apartment complex, leaving Joey to kick himself.
"What were you thinking, Joey? You sounded like a hentai when you said, 'they matched your thighs'...the least you could have done was said pies or something." He sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"Okay," Mai called out, locking her front door, "are you ready to go?"
Joey only nodded, afraid that he might say something that would land him a sexual harrassment conviction. As he walked toward the car, he felt a finger tap him on the shoulder. He turned around slighty, not looking into Mai's eyes.
"Joey, listen," she turned him around to face her, "just be yourself, okay? You don't need to impress me, I like you for who you are...well, for the most part anyway," she said, letting out a laugh.
Joey beamed, relief embedded in his facial expression. "In that case, I might have to write you a ticket..."
"What...? Why?"
"It's got to be illegal to look that good."
Mai cocked an eyebrow, "Joseph, why are you saying dumb pick-up lines when we're already going out?"
"Uhh...well...ummm...so! Let's get going!" Joey said, now pulling on the car handle to open the door.
Mai just shook her head, now stepping into the car with Joey. Now inside, Joey was the first one to speak: "So, do you have anywhere special that you want to go to?" His eyes glanced up at Mai, but immediately went back down to turn the car on.
"Well...I actually had my eye on this new French restaurant in town. It's not too far from here, do you want to check it out?"
"Hey, as long as I can read the menu, I'm fine with it."
Mai nodded, then said: "Alright then, let's check the place out."
"Well...doesn't this place look...err...French-y..." Joey commented, pulling his jacket off and hanging it on the chair. He then took a look at his surroundings; it basically looked like any other restaurant, except for the fact that the waiters wore berets and had weird mustaches situated above their upper lip. "Man...I have got to get me one of those hats..."
Mai rolled her eyes, ignoring his statement. "So, any idea what you want to eat?" She lifted the menu forward so she could see the selections better. Joey did the same, only he was staring more at Mai than the menu. "Joey?" She asked, looking up to see him looking at her.
"Err..." He lifted the menu to his eyes, quickly looking for something to eat. "I don't know...it's hard to choose..." He lied, for he had not set his sights on the menu yet.
"Yeah," Mai agreed, "hmm...how about we start off with an appetizer? The cheese and tomatoes look good..."
Joey's ears perked up. "Did you say cheese?"
Mai closed her menu and nodded, "yeah...why? Do you not like cheese?"
"Well," Joey scratched his throat, "I...err...cheese and I don't really get along..."
"Why?"
Before Joey could reply, a shadow casted upon their table...
"Bonjour! Je m'appelle Gaston!" (Hello, my name is Gaston) A brown-haired water, about twenty, said. His sentence was then followed by a bright smile, mostly directed toward Mai than Joey.
Joey cleared his throat loudly to get Gaston's attention, "excuse me?...what was that about apples?"
"Ha Ha...I said that my name is Gaston," He said boredly toward Joey, then turned his attention back to Mai. "What would you like to start with, Mademoiselle?" (Miss)
"We would like to start with the cheese and tomatoes, but we haven't decided on what we want for lunch." Mai said, smiling up at the French waiter.
He smiled back, "take your time; I'll come back with your appetizer."
"Thanks." Mai said, looking back at the menu.
"What was with that guy?" Joey asked, folding his arms. "He was eyeing you as if you were a croissant or something..."
"Joseph!" Mai whispered, "he was just being...friendly, besides he has a very nice accent."
Fuming, Joey grabbed a piece of bread that was sitting between them and shoved it into his mouth. "Nice accent, eh...Well...I can speak French pretty well, too...watch this: French toast, French fries."
Mai rolled her eyes, then looked somewhere else for entertainment. This date was turning out to be just like she thought; she knew Joey was too immature for her. Why was Tea trying so hard to get Joey and her together? 'We're just too different...' She was about to bring her eyes back to her table when she spotted a hint of orange in her vision. 'What?' She looked back.
"Serenity?"
Joey looked up. "Serenity? Where?" He looked into the direction Mai was looking, then almost dropped the bread from his hand. It was in fact Serenity, but she wasn't alone. Kaiba was close by her side--too close. "I don't believe it..." Rising out of his seat, he was about to walk over when he felt a warm hand over his.
"Leave her alone, Joseph. They're just eating together."
Sighing, Joey sat back down. "I know, but I don't like it...he's like 4 years older than her! He's probably just thinking about jumping her bones..."
"What's wrong with that? Look at me," Mai spit out, now almost choking on what she said. 'No, no...I didn't mean THAT...I just meant that we had a huge age difference like them...oh dear...'
"Wow...umm...I didn't know you were that kind of girl--"
"No, no!...I..." She threw a hand over her face. "I meant that I'm at least 4 years older than you, too, so you shouldn't be judging Kaiba based on how old he is. I really don't think there's anything wrong with it."
"Oh man...you got me all excited, too..."
"Bon appetit, here is yours...and yours..." Gaston said, putting down their meals. "Enjoy your meals!"
Mai nodded, then stuck her fork in what looked like chicken. "Wow, this looks good. What did you order again?" She looked up at Joey, but he was picking at his food like a four-year-old. "Joseph?"
"Oh sorry, umm...what did you say?"
Mai frowned inwardly. "Is there something wrong?"
"Nothing, I mean, it's just...I guess...umm...I wanted to make this date better for you. I'm sorry," he looked back down at his plate, not wanting to see her reaction. To Joey's surprise, Mai just laughed...
"Joey, we've only been here for forty minutes...what did you expect?"
Shrugging his shoulders, Joey took a bite out of his pasta. "Yeah, you're right.."
"I know I'm right," Mai said, picking up a piece of her food, "here, try some...it's chicken." She put it on his dish, where he stuck it with his fork and put it in his mouth. "How do you like it?"
"Pretty good, what does it have in it?"
"Chicken, wine, cheese and herbs...want another bite?"
Joey's mouth dropped. "Did you say cheese?" When he saw Mai's head tilt up and down, he put his hands to his stomach. "Oh, no..." He could already feel his stomach bubbling.
"What's wrong? Are you allergic?"
Joey started getting up. "I'm...umm...about to have a party in my pants..."
"What?"
"No time," he said, "I have to go...I'm sorry..."
"Joey?"
It was then he felt something he didn't want to. "Oh, no! It's coming..." He quickly put his hands to his butt and started walking away from his table. He then felt another sharp bubble erupt in his stomach...followed by a warm feeling between...
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BATHROOOM!" He yelled, now running full speed to the bathroom.
There was a moment of silence, followed by tiny sounds made by utensils and glasses. Most eyes were on the bathroom, while some were on Mai. Turning away from the public's eye, she tried to busy herself with her napkin. She didn't know whether to be ashamed or embarrassed...
"Mai?" A soft voice asked, breaking Mai out of her daze. It was Serenity. "Was that Joey?"
Mai slowly nodded. "I don't know what came over him...he's so inconsiderate..."
"Well, what happened?" Serenity asked, sitting in Joey's seat. "That's not like Joey...usually."
Sighing, Mai combed a hand through her hair. "We were just talking...and then I gave him a piece of my chicken and then he just got all weird on me. It was so ridiculous. That's it...I'm getting out of here." Mai reached in her pocket book and threw some money down, while reaching over her chair to get her coat.
Serenity's eyebrows narrowed. "Oh, Mai, wait...this is what Kaiba had...it has cheese in it!"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Mai asked, angrily.
"Joey's lactose intolerant...his stomach can't take any dairy product. He didn't tell you? He actually just started having this problem a couple of years ago. I'm surprised he would order something with cheese in it...he's usually more careful about those things..."
Mai dropped her coat back down. "Oh...no...it's my fault..." She covered her face with her hands. "He actually was about to tell me when Gaston came and took our orders. I'm so stupid..."
Serenity put a hand over Mai's. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure Joey will understand...look, here he comes right now." Getting up, Serenity winked at Mai and went back to her table. Mai, on the other hand, was afraid to turn around. She felt horrible.
The restaurant got quiet again, but resumed once Joey sat back in his seat. "I'm sorry, Mai, I--"
"No, Joey," Mai shook her head, "I'm sorry, I heard about what you have...are you okay?"
"Yeah," Joey smiled, "but I'm not sure that bathroom is, ha ha..."
Mai grabbed her coat again. "Come on, let's get out of here...I'll treat you this time."
"You sure? You seemed like you really liked this place. We can stay if you really want to, I can live with the stares." Joey said, bringing a glass of water to his lips.
"No," Mai said, "it's too fake for me..."
"My thoughts exactly." Joey laughed, then snapped his fingers at the waiter. "Yo, Gaston! Croissant boy! We need the bill." Mai let out a laugh as Gaston walked over and gave Joey the bill. He then gave one last look at both of them and left.
Putting the total down, he signaled Mai to the door and they walked out of the restaurant, ignoring the stares of the couples watching them. When they walked out, Mai just stopped at the corner and took a deep breath. "You're doing okay?"
She turned to Joey with a smile, "yes...I really am..."
"Me too, that restaurant was giving me goosebumps. It was worse than...than...seeing Bakura's ass in tight leather pants."
Mai turned to look at him. "You actually...stare?"
"Well..."
"I don't want to know," Mai said, walking a little ahead of him.
"Come on, Mai, there just so firm yet squishy at the same time--"
"Joseph! This is not a Bakura's ass convention..."
"Aww..."
Walking down the block to Joey's car, thoughts were flying through Mai's head like crazy. 'You know, it hasn't been such a bad night so far...and you even laughed at a few of Joey's jokes. I think you like him.'
"Oh, shut up," Mai said to her conscious, unaware that she had said it out loud.
"Yes, ma'am."
Mai turned around and looked at Joey, "oh...that wasn't meant for you...I was just..." Her words slurred toward the end of her sentence, for she was trying to think of something to say. She didn't want to say that she was talking to herself. "...hey, is that Rex Raptor?"
Joey turned around. "Where?" He then looked back at Mai, "I don't see him.."
"Oh, that was just...a fire hydrant, nevermind." She then turned around and sped-walk to the parking lot. 'Great, first you talk to yourself and then you mistake Rex Raptor for a fire hydrant.'
"Mai? Wait...why are you in such a rush?" Catching up to her, he gently pulled on her arm to turn her around. She looked at him, then looked at the sidewalk. "Are you okay?"
She sighed. "Joey...I don't think I can go with you to prom anymore."
"What?" Joey asked, surprised. "What's wrong? Did I do something?"
Mai shook her head. "It's not you, it's me. Joseph, I just can't go with you." Squeezing her coat tightly to her body, she turned away from him. "I'm sorry, I really am."
There was a silence between them, both in deep thought. It was then Joey said: "Mai...can you look at me?" She turned to face him, but didn't catch his eyes. That was enough for him to continue, "is this because you don't wanna get close to me?
She bit her lip and slowly nodded.
"You know," Joey forced a chuckle, "we can just go as friends. I have no problem with that, just...please go. I'd really like you to be there. It would realllllllllly make my prom night." He stuck out his bottom lip, turning his smile into a pout.
Exhaling deeply, Mai just folded her arms and stared at him.
"Pleeeeeeeeeease?"
Mai turned the other cheek, still in deep thought. "Joey..."
"Come on, Mai, don't make me hug you."
Her head snapped back. "You wouldn't..."
"Come here..."
"No..."
Grinning maliciously, he threw his arms around her. "Let papa give ya some suga, Mai." Then, pulling her toward him, he held a firm grip around her waist so she couldn't escape. "Now, say you want to go with me."
"No! Stop!" She said, trying to pull away.
"Say it!"
She put her hands on his and tried to pry them away from her waist."Joey! Let go!"
"Uh-uh!"
"LET GO!"
Joey shook his head. "Tell me that you want to go to prom WITH me."
Pulling harder, she knew his grip was too strong. "Alright, alright!"
"Say it," he said, loosening his grip, "and I'll let you go."
Mai groaned, then mumbled: "I'll...go...to...prom...with you."
"Wow...that was easy...I wonder what else I could make you say..."
"JOEY!"
"Ha ha, just kidding." He pulled away from her and smiled. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Mai smoothed her skirt and shirt out. "Yeah, right."
"Mhm, you secretly loved it."
She glared daggers at him, though she felt differently on the inside. She actually...liked it. "I did not--not in the least bit. You're crazy." She folded her arms, still fixing herself.
"Oh, really, do I need to hug you again?" He said, about to put her arms on her again.
"Don't you dare!"
Putting his hands on her shoulders, he accidently pulled her to his face instead of to his chest...
Their lips were centimeters apart, both moistened and ready to fasten against something that could love them. That would want them. Their lips wanted each other, but they're owners were too stubborn to make the first move. Instead, they both stared at one another, wondering what the other would do.
Joey made the first move. He titled his head and moved it closer to her lips...
Closer...
Closer...
CLOSER!
COME ON, DO IT ALREADY!...WOOO! GO POLARSHIPPING!
But before they could lock lips, the slamming of a car door caught their attention. It was a police car. "And what do you think y'all are doing, eh? Can't you see we're trying to keep our streets clean!" A short, chubby police man said, his hands on his sides.
Joey pulled away from Mai. "Err...what do you mean, officer?"
"Look down, son," the police man said, calmly.
Joey turned his attention to the sidewalk, where newspapers and wrappers lay under their feet. He stepped away from the litter, and put his hands up defensively. "This wasn't us, officer."
"Oh yeah? Trying to outsmart a cop, eh? You know there's a big fine for littering, right?"
"Yes, but we didn't--"
"Sir, calm down. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."
"Officer, I swear to you that I do not know where this litter came from! We are not criminals! Listen, my name is Joey Wheeler and--"
The officer cocked an eyebrow. "Wheeler? Well, I'll be! You're always causing trouble on these streets!"
Mai looked over at Joey, "what is he talking about?" Joey shrugged his shoulders.
"I remember my fellow officer caught you on two counts of drinking while intoxicated and starting a fight in a bar. Now, you're trying to litter on Domino's streets? I'm going to have to take you to the station."
"No, no! That's my dad! We just share the same name--"
"Son, walk over to my vehicle so I can cuff you." Joey started walking over slowly, his face pale with fright. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense..."
"This is ridiculous! Listen, you idiot! He should not be handcuffed just because of littering!"
"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down, or you will have to join Mr. Wheeler."
Mai shook her head. "No, I will not!"
"Mai, just do what he says!" Joey yelled, but Mai ignored him.
"No, I will not stand here and let my rights be taken away from me! You hear me? I'm going to call my lawyer--"
"PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" The officer yelled, taking out his gun.
"I'm just getting my phone..."
"Put your hands up now where I can see them!" The officer then motioned her to the car, "you think you can pull a fast one on me by trying to get a weapon, huh?"
"What!"
"Stand next to Mr. Wheeler, you're both under arrest!"
Standing next to her friend, Joey turned to her and said: "Nice way to end our date, huh?"
"...and that's basically what happened," Joey said, scratching a metal bar with his finger.
Tristan looked at them, wide-eyed. "So, let me get this straight...you two got locked up for...littering?"
"Basically," Joey said, nodding, "but they do have us down for 'failure to cooperate' and...uhh...oh, 'use of potential weapon." Mai cussed under her breath at that remark.
"A cell phone is not a potential weapon," she added.
"Well," Joey said, "you can throw it at someone..."
Mai rolled her eyes. "If I had mine, I'd throw it at you."
"Oh really? Well--"
It was then they heard the brass door open. In came the police officer. "Alright you three, your fifteen minutes are up." He then signaled Tristan to follow him out to the station.
Tristan looked back at them, "I'll talk with them up front and get you guys out."
"Thanks man, we owe you one."
Tristan smirked. "Just try not to litter while you're down here."
"Why you little..." "
Letting out a chuckle, Tristan gave him a thumbs-up and walked off with the officer.
"WHAT A NIGHT!" Joey yelled, as he landed face-down on Tristan's couch.
After Tristan left with the officer, he bailed them out and got the charges dismissed against them. Joey still didn't know how he did it, but he definitely wasn't complaining. He just wanted the night to end.
"Hey man, you can crash here 'til tomorrow morning if you want."
Joey looked at his watch. It was twelve thirty in the morning. "Tristan, it is tomorrow! Crap, I have to be at work in six hours!"
"Well, you better get your ass to sleep then."
Joey shook his head. "I'm wide awake from everything that happened today...what a mess."
"Mai seemed pissed after we dropped her off."
"I know," Joey sighed, "I really tried my best to make it good, too."
"Don't worry about it, things just happen...I'm sure she'll forget about it sooner or later. Then again, girls do hold on to grudges for a long time." Tristan then walked into the kitchen, stretching his arms out in a yawn.
Joey followed him, curious to what he was doing. "Watcha doing?"
"I dunno...I'm kind of hungry, maybe I'll have a bowl of cereal." He pulled the cabinet door open and grabbed a cereal bowl. Then, "alright, now here's the real decision: Count Domino Chocolately Chocolate Rocks or Pop Dem Fruity Pops?" He stared at the two cereal boxes for a moment. "Man, umm...alright...uhh..."
"Whoa...you got Pop Dem Fruity Pops! SWEET!" Joey exclaimed like a little kid. Then, grabbing Tristan's bowl, he poured himself some cereal. "Hey, you got some milk?"
"Get your own, criminal."
"Ha ha...very funny."
Tristan smirked, grabbing another cereal bowl from the cabinet. He then poured some cereal into his bowl and got some milk from the fridge. Once he got his midnight snack together, he sat down across from Joey. Joey looked up and laughed, "the fact that I went to jail for littering is going to be an everlasting joke for you, isn't it?"
"Just like the Bakura's ass joke."
"Speaking of which, have you ever really looked at Bakura's ass? It's not that big..."
Joey nodded. "It's actually pretty flat; I don't know what Jellybob sees in it."
"I know," Tristan laughed, "but she seems pretty fascinated by it. Oh, speaking of Jellybob, can you believe she left us hanging on that fic 'Just A Night' for five months? I like...checked on the fanfiction site everyday for an update. She'll be hearing from me."
"Yeah, me too, she better get with the program or we're going to get Bakura's ass on her."
Tristan nodded. "Yeah, or we can just send the Yami/Tea fans after her."
"Sounds like a plan."
To be continued...
Next time: Yami and Yugi sort things out; Yami/Tea action; more Bakura's ass jokes
BTW, if anyone has any ideas for the next chapter, please add them in your review. It would be greatly appreciated and might even make the next update quicker. Thanks much! Again, sorry for the delay, please forgive me.