"Rodney?" Carson tried to look professional, "What's wrong now?"
"It hurts so horribly", Rodney whined, pulling a face like a recently fired drama queen.
The Scotsman folded his arms, "Could you be a little more specific?"
"Here", he pointed at the spot where Sheppard had nudged him, "and there", he whimpered pointing to where his intestine was situated and in the same moment ripped a big fat fart.
Beckett wrinkled his nose, wondering if he should run and get himself a hazmat, but finally managed to walk over and feel Rodney's intestine.
And as he had supposed it, there was something sort of hard in it, no wonder if someone was so stupid to eat a bloody lump of plasticine mistaking it for blue chocolate...
"Hey", grunting Rodney pushed away his hand, "it already hurts enough without you pawing over it."
"Crybaby", Carson retorted once again.
Voodoo, Rodney muttered to himself while ripping another stink-bomb. Then, one moment later, he looked up at his now sulking Scottish colleague with doggy eyes.
"Am I gonna die now?" he inquired cautiously.
The physician let out a groan, "Would you stop asking me this stupid question every time you have a smidgen of a nothing plaguing your oh-so-sensitive metabolism?"
Rodney gave him a pleading look, "So what now? Yes or no?"
"Bloody hell no", disgruntled Carson clenched his teeth. He had to calm down or otherwise somebody would soon get hurt.
"And what are you going to do to make it stop?"
"Wait until everything comes out the natural way."
Rodney let out a panicked wail, "You can't be serious. Have you got an idea how much it'll hurt until this fat lump of whatever has come out?"
"Lad, you're lamenting like a whole bunch of wee toddlers", Carson sighed, "and even they'd object less if they'd be so bloody silly to eat a big lump of blue plasticine..."
"Plasticine?" Rodney blurted out, "Who said I've eaten plasticine? It was blue..."
"...plasticine", the Scotsman finished for him, slowly getting to his wit's end.
Rodney was still not believing the whole story, "Carson, tell me one thing. Why in the whole wide world should a food-greedy person like Sheppard keep anything that is not edible on his desk?"
"Because he's got a big urge to play?"
"Big urge to play"; Rodney mocked him, "in that case he'd surely be happy to get the stuff back in case I'd crap it out again."
Carson bit his lip and turned away, "We'll see."
"Hey", McKay called after him, "where are you going?"
"Making me a lovely cup of tea", Beckett replied from the other side of the room.
Rodney pouted being close to tears, "And me? You can't seriously leave me alone with these scary white mice..."
"Aw, actually they are just the right company for you", came the response from Carson's office, "if they haven't already turned deaf from your constant wailing..."
Nervously Rodney turned to stare at the terrarium housing the white mice, ugly rodents. They stared at him with their tiny, unforgiving, black, glistering eyes, moving their far too short, hairy noses in the ultimately stupid way only they could.
If he had to stare it them for too long he'd either really become delirious or right away get nuts. Inwardly Rodney cursed these miserable creatures, secretly wishing to kill them all...
xxxxx
AN: All right, let's call this some exam practice for tomorrow (4 lesson English exam.) I'm so sorry for the delay. Hopefully I'll be able to post quicker next time.
Soon, Baalsgirl