A Lack of Color

by four51

Chapter 2. Lightness

The next week - Thursday

"We're getting ready to watch Grey's Anatomy! Get in here!" I yelled at him.

Jen was sitting on the floor and I was on the couch. I left room for Tristan next to me. Yeah, yeah, I know. I have a boyfriend. We're just friends – honestly.

Not that he's not handsome.

Not that I haven't flirted in the last week since he first moved in.

Since then, I haven't seen his Michelle anywhere. He says she's out 'on business'. He's always used those words: 'on business.' I wonder what that means. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Tristan's been to my apartment almost every night. Jen's not complaining. Then again, she's never complained when a "gorgeous" man joins us.

"I come bearing gifts," he told us, sitting next to me, bags in hand.

"Gimme, gimme!" Jen extended her hand and contracted her fingers eagerly.

He brought out a plethora of junk food including, but not limited to: Red Vines, Reeses, Snickers, M&Ms, Goldfish, and a couple of packets of popcorn.

"Extra butter," he told me.

"Yummy!" Jen screeched.

"Pizza's in the oven," I offered.

"It's nine o'clock, and you're just having dinner?" he asked.

"Hey, I have a life."

"A very unfulfilled one, I might add," he hinted and leaned in closer to me, his forehead resting against mine.

"And I suppose you are going to enlighten me…?"

"Oh, but what friend wouldn't?"

"One that doesn't want to make others throw up," Jen said, and Tristan sat back.

I internally groaned. He smelled delicious.

Maybe it was just the pizza.

"It's on, it's on!" Jen jumped slightly, excited.

We watched the first couple of minutes and a commercial came on. A loud beep came from the kitchen.

"I'll get the food," Tristan offered.

"Oh, no, I can get it," I assured him.

"No, it's my pleasure." He exited the room.

"No, it's fine. I'll get it."

"If you insist."

"I do."

I walked out and basically hyperventilated in the kitchen. No, I'm exaggerating. I just took very deep breaths is all.

Nothing different.

The phone rang.

I was going to pick it up but I heard Jen answer from the front room.

"Ror, it's for you!"

Duh, it's my house.

"Thanks," I shouted. I picked up the corded phone in the kitchen. "Hello?"

"Hey." Oh dear, Oliver.

"Hey."

"I was just thinking we could go out tomorrow night."

"Um, why?" A very girlfriend thing to say. Not.

"We hadn't seen each other for a while, and I miss you." That was true. I haven't called him. Not that I didn't mean to. It's not like I feel guilty for hanging out with Tristan or anything. I mean, he didn't call me either.

"I don't know. I promised Jen last Saturday that I'd hang out with her."

"Didn't she just pick up the phone?" Damn it.

"Well, yes, but she wants to go out."

"Rory. You're always with her. Why can't you spare a night for me?" Ugh. The question.

"You're right." I gave in. So what? I should want to hang out with my boyfriend, right? "What time?"

"Six-thirty."

"Nice. I'll be ready. See you then?"

"See you then."

I hung up and got dinner ready.

I carried a huge cardboard plate filled with an extra-large pizza with everything on it.

"You bring napkins?" Jen asked.

"Of course," I said, passing them out.

"Perfect," Tristan said, getting some pizza onto his paper-towel napkin.

I sat back down next to him and we watched the rest of Grey's. I watched him sometimes. Not enough for him to notice me.

He was just so god damn good-looking.

I know I shouldn't be saying this. Seriously. He has an effing model fiancée. I could never compare.

I have to stop.

I have to.

At the end of the episode, Tristan explained that he had a big meeting and he better get to sleep. We, reluctantly, said goodbye.

"So, he asked who was on the phone."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What'd you say?" I hope not too much.

"Just some stuff about Oliver."

I sighed. "Jen…"

"Oliver has not very much potential. Why go out with him?"

"Oli is…" I paused, and said the thing I've ran over and over in my head. "Oliver is almost perfect, Jen."

She looked at me. "That's not good enough."

"I like having someone," I said, quietly.

"Excuse me! A young man, hot, funny, and great personality, is practically throwing himself at you!"

"He is not. Tristan and I are just friends. I don't have any attraction whatsoever. He has a girlfriend. Fiancée," I corrected.

"But…"

"Almost perfect is what I need right now. I don't need someone perfect like Tristan coming in and ruining everything."

Her mouth gaped open.

"Not that Tristan is perfect." I said, quickly. "I'm just going by what you're saying."

"Right. Just friends. No attraction. Right?"

I hesitated. Damn it.

"I knew it! You like him!"

"No…"

"I read you better than that."

"It doesn't even matter. He has a gorgeous fiancée, and would never even give me a second glance to her. I know it."

"So, you're sticking with Oliver."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I'm sticking with Oliver," I whispered.

She gave me a hug. "Get some sleep."

I couldn't, that night. All I could think about were Tristan's hands, against my body. His lips against my…

I shouldn't even think what I'm feeling.

I have a boyfriend. A good boyfriend.

An almost perfect boyfriend.

I don't need Tristan.

He's just a friend.

Just a friend.

I probably got a good three hours of sleep until my alarm clock rung at seven. I groaned audibly and jumped in the shower.

I stayed in there for a half an hour. When I got out, I picked out my outfit for work and grabbed my briefcase. When I got my keys, I was out of there.

Tristan was just leaving his apartment too.

"Hey, you're leaving early," I said.

"I wasn't sure you were observing my schedule…" He raised an eyebrow.

Crap.

"Oh, well, I mean. Whenever I leave, you're never out. I always hear you walking around. Getting ready. The usual stuff people do in the morning. Thin walls…"

He laughed. "I was joking. No pressure."

He put his arm around me and my eyes grew wide. We walked to the elevator.

"I was thinking," he started, "do you want to go out on the town tonight?"

My heart nearly came out of my chest. And then it practically hit to floor when I remembered.

"I have a date tonight."

"Right…" he nodded his head. "Lé boyfriend," he said with a tiny accent.

"I'm sorry."

"Tomorrow night, then?"

I smiled. "Of course."

"Great. I'll invite Jen."

My heart was squashed by the sole of his shoe, as we walked across the lobby.

"Jen… Right." I looked down.

"Unless you had some more people you had in mind," he offered.

"No, no. Jen's the only one."

"Okay, great."

"Well, this is my ride," I pointed at Javier. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," he said as he walked down the street, whistling for a taxi.

"He was a cutie!" Javier beamed at me.

"Tristan's taken, babe."

"By you?"

"By a model," I practically spat out.

"God damn."

You see, Javier's gay. And completely, at that. He's the most 'out' person I know. And this is New York City. That'll give you a picture.

"I have to go – " I paused and corrected myself, "I get to go out tonight with Oliver."

"Now, he's not bad-looking either."

"Yeah, but…"

"I know, I know. He's not Tristan, yeah?"

I scoffed, "Totally not what I meant."

"Yeah, yeah."

We got to my stop.

"Thanks for the ride. $14.50. By Javi," I said as I climbed out of the backseat.

When I was off work at quarter to six (because I had some extra work to tend to), I was not in the mood to go out. But I had to, nonetheless.

I took a quick shower and put on a nice-r dress. I touched up my makeup and put darker eyeliner on.

"You look wonderful," he told me as he gave me a kiss.

"Thank you. You, too." He had on my favorite slacks and a nice button up shirt.

We went to his car and got in.

"Q2, tonight."

"Oh…" I knew he could hear my disappointment.

"What?" he groaned.

"Well, you know I don't really like Thai…"

"What the hell do you suggest then?!" he yelled at me. I looked down. "You must have something in mind, right?"

"Q2's fine."

"I mean, don't mind what I love. It's all about you," he said sarcastically.

"I said it's fine, Oliver. It's fine."

"Whatever. What do you want, then?"

I pursed my lips. "I was thinking San Luigi Italian."

"You won't eat Thai but you'll eat that crap?"

"You know what?!" I yelled. "Forget it. Take me home."

He quieted down, and sighed. "San Luigi's fine." He paused. "I'm sorry."

I nodded, still shaken up. "Me, too." Although I didn't really have anything to be sorry about. It's just the thing you say, I guess.

"Are you sure you don't want Thai? I mean – "

"God, Oli, fine, fine…! Thai. Let's have Thai. God."

He was quiet the rest of the ride.

"Here we are," he said excitedly.

Q2. God, I hated this place. It smelled horrible and the food was horrible and it made my stomach feel horrible…

"This is excellent," he said during dinner. "Are you enjoying it, Ror?"

I looked up and tried to smile. He smiled back. I gritted my teeth and pushed my food around on my plate.

"Would you like dessert, hon?"

I shook my head.

"OH!" he exclaimed. Oliver got out his small pocket book and started scribbling something down. "I've been waiting for inspiration all week. You don't mind if I go home now and have a few hours on the laptop before bed, do you Rory?"

I shook my head again, reluctantly. "I guess not," I sighed, trying to make it obviously clear that I felt the opposite.

"Great. Let's go, shall we?"

He paid and we were off. It was only eight-thirty.

He was cutting our date short and I wasn't even getting sex.

I looked out the window when he talked to me during the ride home.

"Right?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"Have you been listening?" he looked down to me.

"Well, I, uhm – "

"Right, well, then he asked…"

He didn't even care!

My blood was boiling.

"You know what, Oliver? Why don't you let me off here. I can take a cab home."

"Rory, what's wrong?"

What could I say? I couldn't tell him the truth, could I? So I lied. "Nothing. I just thought that you should have a little more time writing is all. And I'm so much out of your way home…"

He thought about it for a moment and then pulled over. "Great idea, Ror. Thanks."

I got out of his Jeep. "I'll call you."

"Bye."

And he left.

I was so mad, I couldn't even begin to talk about it.

So I walked it off. My apartment building was only a few blocks away, and I needed to get it out of my system.

I saw him at a bar. Alone.

My bar.

So, I went in.

"Joe!" I shook hands with him.

"Hey, Rory. Beer?"

"Yes. And keep them coming." I sat nonchalantly next to Tristan.

"Bad day?" Joe asked me.

"Bad date," I corrected.

"Ah."

"What are you doing here?" Tristan asked me.

"I was out, and I saw you. Thought I'd drop in."

"You want to do a couple of shots?"

"Have you had a bad day?" I asked him.

"A bad year, really." He seemed already a little drunk.

"The year has just started, hon. How can it be that bad already?"

"You have no idea."

We took a couple of shots after that. The alcohol was ripping through me. I hate tequila. I hate it so much. But Tristan asked me to.

So I did.

Is that so wrong?

It's what friends do, right?

Right.

…

Right.

So we had a couple of shots.

What's the big deal?

It's not like we were going to go back and have a hot, passionate night.

It was a couple of drinks shared between two friends.

Nothing more.

"You know she doesn't even love me, I don't think," he slurred out.

"Who?"

"She."

"Oh…" I said. I wasn't as drunk as he was. I'm not completely unaffected by liquor, but I'd say I can hold most of what I take back. I could tell that wasn't the case for Tristan.

"She probably has guys lining," he motioned, "out the door for her, and she chooses me. Me. She must be fooling around."

I was quiet.

"I should do it too. If she has fun, why can't I?"

"Well, you really shouldn't just sit around waiting for her."

"Nah. I couldn't go out without her. I'd probably end of doing something stupid. But I just want you to know that I'm not an idiot. I know she's probably out screwing someone right now."

"So why are you with her?" This was a much too personal question.

And I wasn't even sure I wanted the answer.

"Because she's everything. She's perfect."

Right. I didn't want to hear that answer.

But then he did something. Something I'd never forget.

He looked at me with his big, blue eyes, pushed a piece of hair out of my face, and leaned in.

He got within millimeters of my lips.

God, it all felt so… right. So… perfect.

But he pulled away.

I've never been so pained in my entire life.

I guess it was just the tequila.

His button-up shirt was unbuttoned a little. His chest was so handsome. Just the right amount of hair. Clean. Smooth. Perfect.

"You're becoming one of my really good friends, Rory Gilmore."

He leaned in again. I saw the intensity in his eyes. He wanted me, and I wanted him.

Right here, right now.

I shouldn't have even thought about it.

I had a boyfriend. I liked my boyfriend. My boyfriend was not out cheating on me. I should do the same.

But Tristan…

He is so intoxicating.

More like intoxicated.

Because right when I thought he was going to kiss me. He turned over and threw up all over my new shoes.

It was just the tequila.

I took him back to the apartment building, receiving a few glances.

When we got up to his room, he gave me the keys. I went in, him practically on my back.

"Where's your bathroom?"

I received a muffled grunt from Tristan.

I tapped his face. "Tristan, wake up. Please? I need to know where your bathroom is."

He slightly pointed in a right direction and I pulled him with me.

Right when we got into the toilet room, he leaned over and threw up again. Only this time it was in the right spot.

After he settled down and collapsed on the floor, I couldn't help but to check him out.

He was… well, he was great-looking. To say the least.

I took his state in. I could have done anything. The one thing I really wanted to do was to reach underneath his shirt and feel his abdomen. I bet it was nice.

I shouldn't have even been thinking it. I sat on the edge of the bath and wondered what kind of hold he had on me already.

I was getting a crush on Tristan Dugrey.

Nah. I just found him physically attractive.

No! God. I can't even say this. I shouldn't even say this.

I'm not even thinking it.

It was just the tequila.

Definitely.

A/N: So, maybe it's moving too fast. Tell me in your reviews. I only got five. And that was really sad. In my opinion. I mean, I wrote TEN PAGES for you guys, and I should at least get ten reviews. Oh well. I guess I know you like it because a lot of people added it to their story alerts. Which was great. Yay! Well, please review. I wrote ten pages again, so I'm expecting at least ten of you who read it to say at least something about it. It said that it was over 250 that read it. How lame that only five people thought it was worth reviewing. I'm sorry, this is laying it on thick. I'm kind of disappointed. But oh well. Hope you liked it. Next chapter should be up in the next couple of days. Review, please, for my sake.