"Crap Jacob when did you arrive" he asked jumping out of the bed, Jacob stood their looking angry
"I swear nothing happened honest" he put his hands up opening them in a surrendering position, Sam got out of bed too
"Dad" running over she hugged him sobbing softly into his shoulder
"Sssh Sammie, ssshh" he cooed
"Dad…… I can't………. I mean…… I killed her" she told him in between the sobs
"No Sammie, George told me everything, it wasn't you fault look at me" he tilted her chin up the sight of his baby girls sad, tear stained face breaking his heart
"Sam it wasn't your fault" he told her firmly
"Feels weird, like I'm empty but painful"
"It will kiddo, come on, you too if you want Jack" he led Sam down stairs where a photo album lay, he sat pulling Sam down next to him Jack stood behind them, he opened it,
"This is a favourite of mine" he reminisced, looking at a picture of too babies lying on their back both dressed in pink one looking distinctly unhappy , the other slightly smug
"Which is which?" Jack asked
"That's me I hated pink from about 1year, that's Alex the smug one" Sam said smiling at the memories,
"Remember this one" Jacob asked
Sam looked at the picture her and Alex were covered head to toe in mud about 3year both grinning, Sam was in the process of throwing mud at Alex who was stood smiling
"Ooo that was a good day I remember a massive mud fight then Alison came out I was in the dog house for ages," he grinned at the good memories then laughing at the others puzzled look he explained
"Selmak was wondering how I would fit"
Turning the page,
"Aww" Jack said nudging Sam, who blushed at the picture of her and Alex in a blue and pink bikini respectively, Sam, was holding a blue shovel Alex was patting the bucket, Alison was lying behind grinning
"She looks like you and Alex" he commented saving the Carter in a swimming costume comment away until her dad wasn't there,
Over the next few hours they laughed and cried at the pictures especially the later ones Jack learning a lot of blackmail material if only he could get some of the pictures, unfortunately Jacob was keeping close tabs and all of his attempts still it had caused Sam to laugh and that was the man thing
Closing the album Jacob took Sam's hands
"Sam did those pictures show you anything" Sam shook her head
"You 2 even after would have both willingly died for the other, Alex just got there first" He told her gently
"Somewhere I know dad but I part of me is always gonna wonder if I could have done something said something different, maybe I could have figured it out," Jack looked at Jacob indicating he would field this one
"Sam you can't think like that it would drive you mad, trust me accept the decision I mean I shouldn't have left you I knew it was a weapon, I knew you would try and turn it on I knew he was the God of sacrifice and ignored it, but still I left, so blame me, or Daniel he should have translated faster found the danger or Teal'c maybe he should have recognised the danger" Sam shook her head
"I don't blame you guys"
"And we don't blame you, it was an accident, Alex saved you, saved us all for that she is a hero"
"I know" Sam admitted reluctantly, wiping her eyes using her dad for support she returned to bed,
The funeral was the next day, as the SGC had unfortunately got use to funerals and choose to do it the next day where they needed the gate for the private goodbye that way if more causalities came through they had room, Sam stood at the top of the ramp with General Hammond the wormhole shimmering blue behind them, Next to her was Jacob, Jack and SG3 with Ferritti brought the coffin in, Jack folded the flag presenting it to Jacob then Sam,
"Attention" Hammond called, everyone in the gate room saluted
"We are here to say goodbye to Alex Fisher, who was with SG1 and sacrificed herself saving four people, she was an asset to the SGC" he said shortly indicating for Sam to step up
"Alex was my sister, annoying, irritating, intelligent, funny, most of all she was brave most of you probably didn't know her well she wasn't here very long but I wish it had been longer, I'm sorry Alex"
She looked at the coffin stepping down, the trumpets played taps as the coffin was pushed gently through, tears were evident in Janet's and Sam's eyes even Jacob was crying,
"Come on Sam"
"No dad, lets stay" Sam insisted mingling with people,
"Fine" he said sulking a bit
"Surely Selmak is curious" Sam asked
"Well he has expressed interest but is taking a back seat"
"Well Selmak this is called a wake it is for people to remember Alex," Sam continued to explain the funeral using it as a distraction
"Hey Sam" Janet came over taking Sam outside
"Hey Jan"
"Cassie told me to tell you sorry she couldn't come but one of her friends and let me get this right was so having a crisis over Derek or Simon who have so totally invited her out to the dance and she want to go with Derek who is dorky when Simon is so totally hot" Janet looked baffled causing Sam to giggle
"Important stuff" she said in a serious tone her face saying anything but,
"Yeh, how you feeling?" she asked seriously
"Lousy, I don't know Jan, part of me is kind of glad; I mean I hated her for so long the other is devastated like I lost half of myself and someone ripped out my heart trod on it cut it to shreds and spat on it"
"Oh Sam" Janet engulfed her in a hug,
"You are bound to be confused" she said which was the final straw for Sam
"STOP IT" Sam screamed pushing Janet away, Sg1 and her dad had gathered near by seeing the disturbance they came over,
"ALL OFF YOU STOP TELLING ME HOW TO FEEL HOW TO ACT ARRGGHH" she screamed running to the surface and hiking from the entrance in her dress blues, sitting on a rock looking out on Colorado, half of her wanting to be left alone the other desperate for company