SEVERAL HOURS LATER

"Okay ladies, time to put down your weapons and let the judges review the damage." Havoc and Roy reviewed The Flower girl's work first. The tires were flat, all the windows broken, the paint had jagged tears in it, and all wires and tubes were cut. Overall, the Porsche was ruined. Yes, the Porsche. Roy was in tears at the waste of such a valuable car. Which was deducted from his paycheck, wouldn't you know it.

"You've probably won this round," Stated Havoc between sobs, "But we still have to look at the damage that Risa has done."

Where a bright pink Porsche had once stood, there was now a pile of fine dust in the middle of a jagged crater. Both males went pale and stared, open jawed, at the remarkably thorough job the drugged Risa had done.

Roy took Risa by the shoulders "What have you done?!"

Risa smiled sadistically "I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up four-wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats; I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights… I really, really, didn't like the, the, colour of that car. What do I get to do now, my little love monkey?"

Roy blushed, but didn't object to being called Risa's 'little love monkey', "That's up to Havoc. Be happy, you won the first round. I don't think that I've ever seen a better display of brute force."

"When are you finally going to see that you aren't gonna get any better? You won't won't wont, you won't get anything ever. Like it or not even though she's a lot like me we're not the same And yeah yeah yeah I'm a lot to handle; you don't know trouble I'm a hell of a scandal. Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen, I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen."

Havoc had to try his best not to laugh at the idea of Risa Hawkeye being a scandal, and commenced in announcing the next round. "We will now have an 'insult off', ladies. Now, no mommy dissing, and no physical violence, okay? Just start the catty remarks when you're ready; and the most acidic with words after five minutes wins."

"I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well" Risa started rather tamely.

"Right back at you, you skanky bimbette"

The guys winced at the sharp insult.

"Me? Skank? Do, do you own a mirror? I don't know you but I think I hate you…maybe it's just jealousy mixing up with a violent mind…You're the one who goes door to door offering the goods…" Risa tilted her head and narrowed her eyes "too, too bad it looks like they're not, worth, worth buying."

The Judges swallowed guffaws at the calmly stated truthful remark.

"Why you little bitch!! Like you would know how to flaunt what you've got if your life depended on it. Don't try to pass off your JEALOUSY as criticism."

"Oh, wow, wow," Risa took out the pin keeping her hair in the military bun, letting her honey colored, wavy locks brush her shoulders, and unbuttoned the first few buttons of her blouse. "This is coming from what, an A-cup? My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and, their like, it's better than yours; damn right, it's better than yours."

The Flower girl could barely contain her rage, and her inarticulate, strangled scream was cut off by the ringing of a bell. "Round two, Risa wins, there is no point having a round three, as Risa has won both thus far." Havoc grinned at the flower girl. "So, you and me, Friday night? I don't care what she said; I think you look gorgeous."

"No! Wait; what is the third round, I might be able to win on points, or something. I might be able to get him back, please, lets keep going."

Havoc's face fell (no, literally, it hit the ground and got dirty and everything) as he realized he was being rejected… again. Nevertheless, he put on his best face (yeah… I think you can guess) and proceeded to describe the pointlessness of continuing. "It was a best two out of three deal, there is no way you can win, and the author is getting tired, so just accept it, okay? Besides, the next round was one where you would both have to seduce Roy, and I doubt you want to see Risa whoop your ass at doing that as well. Just… go and take your skanktacular body with you. There is no point for you to be here."

"But, honeybunches; do you really like her more than me? Are you really going to dump me for her?" The girl was ignoring Havoc and focusing only on Roy.

"After seeing what you do to a Porsche, and how low you can get verbally, I think it's better if we try to do this as friendlily as possible. She has proved more worthy of being attached to the future Führer than you are, it's not a personal thing. It's not you it's me, let's just be friends, you deserve better, we're not meant to be, insert another cheesy breakup line here " A giant sweat drop dripped down his face as he braced himself for a barrage of lowlife insults.

"You… you…" She turned up her nose, "You don't deserve me… I'll be going now." She turned on her heel, then turned again, to face Havoc "And if I find you stalking me again, I will call the police, you got that?!"

Havoc nodded sadly. He looked at Roy with despair in his eyes, putting another cigarette in his mouth.

"Go home Havoc, there is obviously no conspiracy here. Besides, page eighty-seven clearly states that the additional supervisor that is of lower rank may leave at any time provided there is proof of impending heartbreak, remember?" Mustang said sympathetically, snapping a light for Havoc's habit.

Risa clapped her hands as Roy created fire, and started quietly droning, "Ain't no othe man, can stand up next to you. Ain't no other man, on the planet, does what you do. You're the kind of guy a girl finds: you've got the moves, you've got soul, you've got class, you've got style, shake your bad ass. Ain't no other man but you, ain't no other man but you…"

"Thanks man, I owe ya. I'll be back in the morning, on the market and out for the hunt… right now I just need a little low time. See ya…" He blew a mouthful of smoke in Risa's direction. "You two have fun."

"Girls just wanna have fun! We just wanna; we just wanna."

The door closed behind the chuckling loser. Risa leapt into Roy's arms like cat, her sudden weight making him stagger. "What will, will we do now, my new lover?" She whispered in his ear. "Who'd have thought you'd be my one desire? I can't wait to fall in love, with you; you can't wait to fall in love with me; this can't be summer love, you'll see"

"Well, you'll be getting off me before I fall over, for starters. Then I might freak out a little… we might take a break to eat some pawky and ramen… freak out a little more… watch some anime, read a manga or two… what do you think?" Roy tried to shake off the giant sweat drop, and ignore the blush, that was going across his face as he put her down.

"What ever you, you want… just remember, Dirty babe, you see these shackles baby I'm your slave… I'll let you whip me if I misbehave…it's just that no one makes me feel this way…" Roy set her down and took a few steps back before she could get too close to his fly. "We aren't gonna get, get all hanky panky, are we Roy." Risa dropped her head disappointedly.

"No, we aren't, I'm not going to take advantage of you being drugged to assert my manliness, I will not use you just for my pleasure, and ...yeah insert noble and respectful decline here. " (we all know he just didn't want to hear brutally blunt truth about how he was in bed, right? ;)

A/N: Alone, how long will Roy be able to refuse Riza? Tune in to the next chater to find out!