I'm very surprised at the popularity this had gotten already! Anyways...most of the dialogue is the movie script with my own touches as to what I think the FAKE characters would add/make more modern. And those of you who're reading this, please leave a review! Oh, and nothing except the idea of putting the two ideas together is mine (unfortunately).

The chief sat behind the podium, fuming. What the hell was going on and how the hell did Dee get him to do it?

Speak of the devil…

Dee was dragged in by another cop in Arab costume, complaining loudly. "You don't have to be so rough, man!"

Chief stood and cleared his throat, trying his darndest to get into character. "Hello!" he chimed in a way that made everyone in the room freeze in shock. Who knew the chief had a voice like that? He cleared his throat again and continued with his line, "I am Falafel…you're maitre de dungeon. Please allow me to show you to your cell…"

Dee shrugged and had no choice but to follow. As he tried to go through the doorway, he hit his head on the top of the doorframe. "Ouch!"

"Duck!" Chief called back, sniggering. "Always forget that, sorry."

He quickly appraised Dee and held out his hand. "So sorry but we cannot seat you without the proper attire."

"Huh?" Dee looked around the dungeon and saw that everyone had a long, bushy beard. He ran a hand self-consciously over his clean-shaven chin. "Sure I can't just stay unbelievably hot?"

"Nope. Here." Chief tied a fake beard on Dee's face and stepped back. "That's much better. Now…I leave you in the capable hands of Malkar, our head guard. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to scream."

One of the other officers in the 27th whose name Dee didn't know stepped out of the shadows and leaned over Dee with a smile that was trying to be menacing but came off rather more goofy. "Robin of Loxley…where is your king?"

"King?" Dee asked, acting confused. "King? And which king might that be? King Richard? King Louis? There're way too many of those…" A secret smile lighted on his handsome lips—this was his favorite part in the entire show…except of course the parts where Ry—Maid Marian was half-undressed… "King Kong?"

"Impertinent street rat!" He reached behind him for something metal and very unpleasant-looking. "You shall talk."

"I don't think so." Dee stuck his tongue out at the other cop.

The other cop seized his chance and grabbed Dee's tongue with the metal tongs. He twisted and tugged unpleasantly but still Dee didn't say anything, didn't even seem to be in pain. Finally the cop gave up and led Dee to a little out-of-the-way alcove where a young boy was watching with great curiosity.

He had black hair and dark eyes and was wearing loose Arab-looking clothing and a big blue turban.

"You're totally brave for a cop," the boy said approvingly once the guard had retreated.

"Why you little—" Dee began growling but the boy cut him off with, "I've been here for a while. Maybe I can help you. Any questions?"

Dee considered for a moment before asking, "What're you in for?"

The teen laughed. "Jaywalking."

"I see."

"It won't be easy getting out of here," the teen pointed out sadly.

"What we need is a great feat of strength," Dee said thoughtfully, raising his wrist to look at the chains attached there.

"Au contraire!" the boy exclaimed happily. "Now that you're here, we've got great strength of feet! What a lame line!"

He was silent for a moment, looking at the boy in confusion. "Don't follow."

"Look, just follow me. Put your feet here. Both of them, idiot. Now…on the count of 'kick…'"

He waited for a moment before shouting, "kick!"

There was a deafening crash as the bar came loose, allowing them to slide the chains out of the links on the bar…

The door to the dungeon flew open to reveal yet JJ with fake facial hair and a large plastic nose. He looked around and almost caught Dee and the boy putting the bar back in place. "What was that noise?"

"Noise?" Dee and the teen asked in unison, glanced at each other.

The boy thought fast and put his hand, fingers splayed, on Dee's heart. "What you heard was this poor man's heart breaking. He's decided to rat out his king in exchange for his own life. Go tell your boss before he changes his mind!"

"Goodness! You'd really do that, Dee?" JJ asked excitedly, adjusting his fake moustache. "How great!"

"Go!"

"I'm gonna get a promotion for this!"

"Go!" The teen ordered again, anxiously.

JJ stepped towards the door, stopped and said, "good news is always rewarded!"

"Please go," Dee begged, unable to help glancing towards the barred window.

JJ grinned and stepped out of the door for a moment. He bounded back in just as Dee and the boy began undoing their chains again. They froze as he said, oblivious to what they were doing, "On the other hand…bad news is severely punished…" He shrugged and went back out, closing the door behind him.

They waited a moment to see if the violet-haired detective would come back before springing into action. They pulled their own chains off and then freed the rest of the prisoners and used the combined brute strength of everyone in the dungeon to put the gate away from the window.

JJ came back giddy. "I just told them the good news and…and…and…" he noticed the empty dungeon and sat down dejectedly in the middle of the floor. "And I'm in deep shit. Why'd you do this to me Dee-senpai?!"

On a beach somewhere (not in Africa but we can pretend), Dee and the teen stood looking at the ocean.

"It's a long way from Africa to England, man," the boy said.

Dee stared out over the ocean and shrugged. "No problem. I owe you one. I'm Robin of Loxley."

"And I'm Lai, best friend of Bikky. He's in England, your country, as an exchange student. Though I can't see how the hell he got the grade to do it…anyways, you'll look after him, won't you? He's pretty cocky and headstrong."

Dee shrugged again. "Sure."

Lai rolled his eyes, wishing his fellow actors would stick to the script, and pointed out at the water. "You've gotta go, man. Or else you'll miss the tide."

"Right." Dee grinned at Lai and turned to the sea. "I'm find that little baboon and take care of him…for a while…"

"See ya, man," Lai called as he watched Dee dive into the water and begin swimming North. He shook his head and turned his back. "He's never gonna make it."