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Chapter 8 Emotions II
He lunged at her…and in a matter of minutes had her pinned to a tree. His eyes held fire in them that had only been shown a few times; a fierceness in his gaze that she couldn't comprehend. He had this scowl on his face that she had never seen before, it made her nervous. She wasn't afraid of him; no, Kagome could never be afraid of Inuyasha, for he would never hurt her. However right now she wasn't feeling like she was taking a walk in the park either.
"Why in the seven hells you would think anything like that?" His voice was deadly quiet; much louder than anything he could have yelled. It gave her chills; a tingly feeling running up her back.
Now was the part was Kagome was getting slightly scared, she wasn't scared of him she was scared of the things he could do. She had never heard him talk like that, except on the rare occasions of which he was in his demon form, but she pushed it away, he wouldn't hurt her, his shards were too precious. And just because he got all serious on her didn't mean that she had to back down. If she backed down now, after all of this, what would that make her look like? When things started to get rough she ran away, that is what she has always done. But not now. She wanted to show Inuyasha that she was strong, and if she backed down now, she would never be able to prove that.
"Well what else am I suppose to believe? Tell me what I'm supposed to think with the way you act around me huh? You constantly yell at me for being good for nothing, you make fun of me, and you call me names. Am I supposed to be flattered?!" He narrowed his eyes while she yelped as he pushed her harder up against the tree, his right let between both of hers, his hands were on either side of her head, effectively trapping her. She wasn't in pain, she was uncomfortable at his oh-so-close proximity. He growled low in his throat as his claws dug into the bark further, scraping his hands in the process, but it was all he could do to hold in his frustration. His eyes flashed red once more and then went back to normal. Kagome winced, 'Have I really gone too far?' She looked at him once more. Maybe she went a little farther than intended, and maybe she pushed him just a little more than wanted, and it probably would have been a good idea if she hadn't yelled so much either. He leaned in closer his cheek brushing hers, making he wince for an entirely different reason. She sealed her resolve, 'No I haven't gone too far, the jerk deserves it!'
"You little wench, how dare you take that tone with me!" Inuyasha had no idea what this sudden feeling was, it had just come upon him so quickly. His demon side had resurfaced again; the fang at his hip seemingly useless. He wanted to make her back down, he had to, there was just this subliminal urge taking over his body that he had no control over. Why was he so angry that she was yelling at him? It didn't make any what so ever, they had always yelled at one another before, and then she would sit him and run away. Why was it affecting him this strongly now? He didn't understand what was happening, he didn't want to give into it, it was foreign and something he was not at all use to. What was even more strange was the fact that it felt right at the same. When she winced and then looked at him as if she could take him down, the feeling took over, him being unable to do anything to try to thwart it. He leaned forward and slammed his mouth against hers.
Kagome's mind screeched to a halt; the thoughts of their previous fight quickly flying off and fleeing from her mind, he body felt like mush and abruptly lost the will to fight, she couldn't find it anymore. Her mind told her to not let this happen while her body moved of its own accord and did what it wanted. Her eyes wide and lips not moving, herself frozen in place, well, this had been unexpected to say the least. He kissed her hungrily and forcefully with a passion that he didn't even know he had. In his right mind he knew that this wasn't supposed to be happening; that she would be furious and most likely sit him until he could walk no more. This just made him want to do it more. Who knew how long it would be until he got to do this to her again? It felt so wonderful; his mouth move over hers, like he was yelling at her but with a completely different effect. Moreover, He didn't understand these instincts, the force driving him; why he felt the unrelenting urge to make her submit to him. In a way it slightly scared him, to be feeling this strongly about her, about these instincts telling him he was doing the right thing. But, he wasn't doing anything to stop it either. He didn't think he could, though, even if he tried. Besides…who was he to go against his instincts, he had never done so before so why start now? Instead of doing what he probably should have done, and pulled back, he did the exact opposite, he deepened the kiss, and for once, not caring what the outcome could possibly be. Anything that felt this good couldn't be stopped. His whole body had started tingling the moment their lips had touched. He was finding it hard to not just lose himself in her; to not take it a step further and make him submit to her in every way. But he knew that when this was over, it was probably over for good, and by god he would enjoy every minute, every second of this that he possibly could. His mouth moved against hers, coaxing her along and urging her to do the same, to do something. He wanted he to kiss him back, to show that she accepted him, because that is all he had ever wanted. He just wanted someone to love him for him, and maybe she couldn't love him, in fact she probably didn't, but he could hope. Right now, he wasn't feeling to happy about it. He was trying to keep thinking as he lightly nipped at her lips, trying to snap her back to reality. His wish was granted when finally, after much coaxing, Kagome shut her eyes and hesitantly kissed him back. She was still stiff, most likely waiting for this to be a dream and to give her hopes up, but at least she had kissed him back.
Now it was Inuyasha's turn to open his eyes wide, 'she's kissing me back?' He really could not believe the turn of events. His knees buckled and he had to push her back farther into the tree in order to keep both of their weights up. He felt as though his whole world was drowned out, there was no Naraku, no undead miko, no anyone; just him and her; the only two people to exist right then. This seemed so surreal as she lightly licked his lips. He couldn't do it, he couldn't hold it any longer, he whined. The feelings where to much, he couldn't stand them. At first he had been prepared for the worse and had pictured her doing anything but that; sitting him, pushing him away, yelling…anything but actually kissing him back. He was truly bewildered at how the tables could change so quickly. As for now though, he didn't want to think too much on it, right now they were together, side by side, and that was all that mattered, that was the only thing that had every mattered.
But alas, all good things must come to an end eventually, and they both needed air. He let go of her, realizing how strongly he was holding her, and took a shaky breath. He had to try and control his emotions right now; he didn't know what he was going to do if he lost any more control than he already had. He was still wobbly and his mind didn't want to clear the suspicious fog that had been placed there. He shut his eyes and concentrated on her breathing, on his own breathing, trying to calm down before the fighting match came, the match that was unavoidable. He cringed inwardly, 'I wonder if I will be able to walk tomorrow?' He highly doubted it.
He smelt the scent of tears, his eyes going immediately to her face, shocked. The fight zoomed back into his mind and once again felt the anger start to well up. What the hell did she have to be crying about? Stupid girl, what is her problem? He pushed her away she cried; he brought her closer she cried! He would never understand her, it was on his very, very short list of things he would never be able to do, right under getting along with his brother. The scent got stronger, as his emotions, anger taking the lead, mounted up at the same pace. Memories flashed in his mind of all the times she had won arguments by using that sit command, at how often she yelled at him, how she got mad when he didn't do anything, and his anger turned into rage. 'Mate…must…submit…' He shook his head not having any idea what that was, he would worry about it later. She sniffled but he was just so pissed off right now that he really couldn't try and make himself comfort her like he normally did. He wanted to, but these primal urges he was getting would not let him do it. His mate needed to be taught a lesson; he caught himself before he touched her face, he just couldn't do it. Right now that just wasn't an option, he was going to let her cry all she wanted, and then they would talk.
Before Kagome was able to speak, she needed to calm down first, because she was afraid that if she had spoken then, then she surely would have broken down the wall she had worked so hard to build around herself. At first she had been thrilled to know that he was kissing her of his own free will, she was ecstatic! She had kissed him back too. She wanted to be able to not worry about anything, she wanted to not think about fighting or yelling or her cold shell of which she bared herself in, but questions nevertheless assaulted her mind. Flashes of memories came and went quicker than she could think about them, but there was always a common factor, and that was Kikyo. Kikyo was present and in every single one. The last flash she was able to catch, yet it was the one she wished would have stayed away. There was Kikyo, and Inuyasha, by the tree kissing, while Kagome was tied up there and forced to watch. That was the time she had almost succeeded in taking him to hell with her. But the thought that caught her was that he was kissing her, and now he was kissing Kagome. Could he tell them apart? Did he want to? Was he just kissing her because she was a copy of Kikyo? As tears welled in her eyes she realized that that was probably the case. She couldn't let him fool her, not again. She was too worn out for that, so when she finally had the strength to fortify that wall again, she spoke. "That was mean Inuyasha…" He had been thinking about apologizing, managing getting a hold of his anger, but when she told him he had been mean, after all of the yelling she had just done, so much for that…'What?! I just kissed her for crying out loud, how was that mean?!' with this new sense of anger at the entire situation, his frustration once again started to build, 'I'm starting to act like I'm I heat! What is my problem?'
"You can't pretend I'm Kikyo Inuyasha," he gasped silently, mouth opening as he once again suffered from shock, "Please, please, please don't act like I'm her! You can't pretend like I'm someone I'm not Inuyasha, it doesn't work that way. I just want to go home, why won't you let me," her voice took on a harder edge to it, "it's not like you want me here anyway!" She wasn't looking at him; her shaded bangs obscuring his vision of her eyes. He growled in complete and utter frustration; it was a guttural sound coming from somewhere deep inside…
"You…are…so…impossible!" He screamed, he couldn't believe after all this time, she still thought he wanted to Kikyo! "How can you even think that I want her?! After all that we've been through…how…I mean….AGH!" He just didn't know what to say to her anymore, he had tried talking to her…it didn't work…he had tried showing her and it didn't work…how else was he suppose to show her if the idiot just didn't understand! 'I swear, with all that studying you think she would be smarter! Gah!' He took a calm breath, sincerely trying to counter his rage, like Kagome had showed him many times, while counting to ten. He really didn't know where she came up with that, in fact he found it a bit stupid to count when you are angry. Why would someone start counting when they got angry? Would that just make them even angrier, because of the situation and now having to focus on counting to ten? He really would never understand her, but in an odd way it seemed to help. Who knows? After reaching ten He let the breath he had been holding out slowly and then asked her in what he hoped was a calm voice, "Why do you think I still love Kikyo?" He looked at her waiting for an answer, hoping to Kami that he actually got somewhere with her, because if this didn't stop soon, he would not be accountable for his actions…
Kagome looked up at him bewildered, "Because…..you….do…" she said slowly, as if she was talking to a child, he bit his tongue to stop from lashing out at her, kami was that every hard. She had stated it as though it were the easiest thing in the world that he should have known. He looked at her like she had lost her mind. She looked at him as if he was stupid or something. That did it.
"How can you be so stupid!? I don't understand you, I don't love Kikyo, I don't think I ever really did! I needed a friend and she needed a way out, that was it! I had thought I was in love, but I wasn't." He was pacing around now, not looking at her. These words were hard for him to say, but if it meant that Kagome would finally believe him, then he would do it. Whatever it would take to get her to understand, he would do it. "Thinking about it now, I had still cared for her, she was my first friend. Someone who didn't look at me like I was an insect! She treated me well Kagome and for that I will always be grateful…but that friend of mine has changed; she is no longer my friend no matter how much I want her to be. I can't care for her anymore Kagome, it is not in my power to be able to! I feel as though I have betrayed her in some way! But I have come to realize that she brought this upon herself, she let herself become this way. And for that I have no regrets, I don't even know her anymore." He swallowed preparing himself for what he was going to say next. He didn't want to, in fact, he had been fine with the way things were before. Sure it hadn't been the best of times, but for what he was about to tell her, right now he was wishing that some how he could just go back in time and put this behind him, he shook his head, that had made no sense what so ever… "Kagome….I like you…a lot, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you understand." Until he was sure of how she herself felt, he couldn't tell her the whole truth just yet. He wanted, oh kami how he wanted to, but now was not the right time. Too many things left to be done, too many things that could get in the way, not to mention he wasn't about to bare his soul to her for fear of rejection, he just couldn't sum up the courage. This would have to do for now. He hoped it was enough.
"You can't mean that…" Kagome sighed, this was either a dream or a really cruel joke done by Naraku, either one was not very pleasing to her. She had understood the words he couldn't say, maybe he liked her a little more than just "liking" her, but she wasn't sure. He didn't mean it either way, she knew this, and had come to the realization a long time ago, only recently letting herself believe it. She couldn't even dare let herself hope. She just couldn't. She had done that so many times already, played into an ignorant role where she thought she had had a chance. She had come running back to him every time. After every fight, after every battle, after every time he went to see Kikyo, she had come back. She just could not do that anymore. Did he know how hard it was for her every time to come back and once again have your dreams crushed when he went back to his past love? Did he? No…she didn't think he did. "If you meant that then you wouldn't keep going back to her…" she sighed one more time, and so did he, realizing the truth in her statement.
"Kagome…I go to her because I feel as though I am obligated to; it's like I owe her something. I don't even really know why I guess, but I promise you though; if you don't want me to go to her anymore then I won't!" He quickly reassured her. Trying to get her to understand; hoping that this would make things easier for everyone. In an odd sort of way, he was hoping that she didn't. That she would tell him that he didn't have to go. That would certainly get rid of a lot of awkward conversations…
"You big jerk! How can you just lie to me like that?!" Her breath hitched as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall, 'He doesn't deserve to see me cry.' "You know you'll go back! You'll always go back!" She had gone through this before, time and time again, him saying he will never go back to her yet doing it just a little while later. At first she had misinterpreted his actions; thinking that she had meant more to him. But as time wore on, she realized that this had not been the case, and she dreaded all of the silent gestures, and small touches, the hugs that she would sometimes receive after a battle; an embrace that hurt her soul, knowing that he didn't mean it but wishing so terribly that he did. It was the same old thing and she was tired of "old". She wanted something new, something better and different. Not the same old heart-breaking thing. She wouldn't be able to tolerate that, in fact she wouldn't, she refused to!
The tears had been a shock, something he had not expected. But her blatantly calling him a liar right to his face, was something that Inuyasha would not tolerate.
"To hell with this!" Inuyasha yelled and suddenly Kagome found her mouth in his again. He was devouring her, totally and completely dominating the kiss. His eyes were looking into her scared ones the whole time, begging her to see the truth in them. Kagome saw in his eyes all of the passion, anger, fear, and love in his eyes at that moment. She couldn't believe it, she just couldn't. But she couldn't help when her eyes closed and she started kissing him back. His hands left the tree, where the bark now had claw marks all the way through it, and pulled her closer. His hands were wrapped around her waist now while she was toying with the collar of his haori.
They eventually broke for air and were panting, although Inuyasha was kissing Kagome's neck by now and leaving little red marks where he scraped his fangs against her skin. Kagome let out a moan when he pulled her more against him, if that is if it is even possible. He started back up again and captured her mouth with his own. He licked her mouth and asked for entrance which she eagerly granted.
His tongue delved into her mouth tasting her. This time Inuyasha let out the moan and started sucking on her bottom lip. Kagome shyly brought her tongue in his mouth and explored him as well. They both loved the taste of each other, but soon enough they did need air to breathe.
They were both heavily panting when they pulled apart. Inuyasha looked down at Kagome who cheeks were dark pink as were her lips from all of the kissing they had been doing. Kagome hesitantly looked up at Inuyasha. She found him smirking down at her. She rolled her eyes. She didn't know what to do, really she didn't. She knew this wasn't real, but it felt so…amazing that she just couldn't with stand it. She couldn't fight him and she knew that, but what was worse was that he knew that as well.
Inuyasha growled low in his throat as he brought his mouth down on hers once more. She gasped, a little startled and started kissing him back immediately. This kiss was hungry, unlike the other ones, a little strange to both persons. They had frustration over the years and apparently it was all being let out in that one kiss. It was a breath-taking kiss, literally. He was soon dominating her again, 'as it should be' he thought cheekily. In demon terms the male was always the dominate one, always…
Kagome squeeked within her mouth as he scraped a fang over her lip, she shivered…
"Inuyasha! Kagome!" Inuyasha growled. Stupid Shippo, always ruining things! Both parties pulled away quickly, Kagome was blushing the color of his haori while Inuyasha had some slight pink tint to his cheeks, whether from embarrassment or anger Kagome didn't know, perhaps it was both.
"We're not done…" She had started to walk away, in the direction of Shippo's voice when he had grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to his back tightly. This seemed so unreal, she couldn't believe it, literally. She didn't know if it was because she honestly didn't believe the recent happenings, or if maybe, she was scared about… 'No! He doesn't want this, he doesn't mean this! Quite dreaming! You're just his fantasy Kikyo, the one he wants when she's not around.' Inuyasha said he had liked her, which she knew had to be hard for him because he did not express his feelings so openly and not often. But, he had said he liked her not love, not to mention he didn't say the reason of why he liked her. She needed more proof then just his word, because even though he was the person she would trust with her life, when it came to choosing between her and Kikyo, he was really stupid. No, he was lying, he just wanted to make sure he didn't lose his shard detector, Kikyo was probably too good for the job so he had to make sure she stayed…with that in mind she pushed his arms off of her and stepped away, missing his disappointed puzzled look.
"I think you need to leave Inuyasha," She spoke quietly, for if the silence was broken everything would shatter, "just leave me alone." Without any warning she started to walk in the direction of where she had heard Shippo yelling for them, trying this once again, walking more briskly, afraid that Inuyasha would try to stop her once more. She didn't want that. She wanted solitude when crying, and oh, how she would cry when she was alone. Inuyasha stayed there with a glare on his face, he didn't really know what to think anymore. It was frustrating to the point of no return; trying to express feelings to someone who thought you were lying and didn't believe you. There was only so much one hanyou could do. Perhaps there was another way to show her; some way to make her understand, there had to be! He couldn't go on like this, her mad at him and acting all depressed, it just wouldn't work out. He headed towards the voices as well, smiling a small smile. She would understand, if it had to take him 500 years to get her to believe him then he would do it. She was not getting out of it this easily. His smile shifted to a smirk, he could think of a few ways to change his mind…this was going to be so much fun, probably more fun than he had ever experienced before. He could hardly wait.
I don't think that was too much of a cliff hanger, was it? I don't know I can't really tell! Hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter! Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeee leave a review because that will make my day so much better! Thanks!