Chapter 7: Slippery Son of a B&#

Keiji gave Kuwabara a cold smile before disappearing and reappearing in front of Kuwabara with his sword in front of Kuwabara's neck. When the sword cut through the flesh Kuwabara disappeared in smoke. Damn a bushin, this is one slippery son of a bitch, thought Keiji. Kuwabara then appeared flinging kunai at Keiji, who was also a bushin. The real Keiji jumped out and created a second bushin to attack from the front while he attacked from above. Kuwabara used his own katana to deflect the two attacks and found that his own swords were cracked from deflecting the two Kusanagi's. Kuwabara then used a water dragon missile jutsu that made a direct hit on Keiji. When the water had cleared Keiji was still standing, covered in sand.

"Is this the best you've got," asked Keiji in a mocking tone. "You hit like a little bitch. It truly is pathetic how much Keiji's perfect genes have gone to waist. Now I know why Orochimaru abandoned you so long ago. You may have Keiji's genes, but you will never be as strong as Keiji. You're a failure that should be wiped off the face of the earth."

Kuwabara was pissed at the first sentence. Kuwabara said, "I didn't think I need to do this, but I need your help Dojima."

A masked man soon burst out of the sand with two daos (Chinese swords that were the bases for the Katana) and rushed Keiji with tremendous speed. Keiji deflected the attacks and summoned another bushin to hold off Kuwabara while he took on the more important threat. Keiji used a spinning sword technique to not only defend himself, but to also go on the attack. Just then the mysterious Dojima jumped back and thrusted his sword with god like speed, only to be interrupted by a fist to the face. That fist belonged to Uzamaki Naruto.

"Don't worry Keiji I got this guy," said Naruto. He then used Kage Bushin no Jutsu to send his clones to attack his enemy while he powered up his rasengan shuriken (I forget the exact name). The attack broke both daos and severely wounded Dojima.

"Now my turn to finish you," said Keiji. "I hope your ready to summon an army because if you don't then pray you have a miracle. This is the end of your life my prey."

Keiji then released chakra throughout his body that covered it and shaped itself into a wolf form. The chakra solidified and became grayish fur. Keiji was now in the form of the Okami whose eye he had. Kuwabara couldn't move as looked in terror at the form that would mean his inevitable death. It was those eyes that caused the most terror. In them he saw a preview of what would happen to him and none of it was good. The wolf took a step towards Kuwabara and then it shot chakra blasts out of its mouth. It then used its tails to wrap around Kuwabara and squeezed him until he felt an intens pain. Anko, who was standing on the sidelines, feared that Keiji had finally been consumed by his right eye the same way everyone feared the Kyuubi with in Naruto would consume him.

"Keiji," she cried.

It was only then that the wolf simply decapitated Kuwabara with his claws. The chakra transformed back into its original form and was absorbed back into Keiji. His left eye was normal now and he had a sense of remorse on his face at the sight of the decapitated experiment, which had been born to kill. The Keiji they all knew and love was back from his deep sleep. The first thing he did was walk up to Anko and put his arms around her. She kissed him, hungry for the taste of his lips. Keiji broke the kiss to see her face; he'd always found it cute the way she looked when she kissed.

"I thought you were fully under the control of your eye," she said. "I thought that I had lost you forever and I realized that more than ever, that I live for you."

"Oh yee of little faith,' he said. "I use the eye, the eye does not use me. Never will I be like that and it's all because of the way you make me feel. You make not want to be as sadistic as my right eye or as heartless. If I had never met you, I would be something I'd hate. I live for you as much as you live for me. We live for each other so we will never be apart for as long as we live."

The two hugged each other and then they felt their stomachs growl. It was then that they heard everyone else's stomach growl. No one had eaten yet so they were all very hungry (even Chouji hadn't eaten yet. It's possible!).

"I'll buy breakfast i guess," said Keiji. He noticed Chouji jumping for joy. "Except for you CHouji. You pay for yourself, I didn't borrow that much money from Tsunade."

"You borrowed money from Tsunade-sama," said Anko. "Are you sure she knows about seeing how money can just find it's way into your pocket."

"Who cares as long as he treats us to breakfast," said Naruto. "And I now the perfect place where Gaara is taking his girlfriend."

"Gaara has a girlfriend," said Kankuro. "This I got to see. The girls in the village are going to be jealous of her."

"She is from the village," said Temari breaking from her conversation with Shikamaru.

"How come you know, but I don't," said Kankuro.

"You would have heard Gaara say it if you weren't trying to find the porn channels on TV," said Temari.

"Don't say that out loud," said Kankuro as he looked around. "She's just joking, she didn't really mean that."

"Yeah, but you got to pay for those channels out of your own pocket," said Keiji. "Tsunade decided to tell the manager of the cabins not to allow those channels without us paying because Kakashi and I read the Icha Icha series."

"You read those filthy books,' asked Sakura. Kakashi sighed at having his favorite stories called filth for the umpteenth time. "Our you perverted or just completely vulgar."

"We read them for the relationships and the jokes," said Keiji. "I have the only woman I ever want to love and Kakashi can get any woman he wanted just by showing his face. He's done that on a few occasions. The only reason you say that about the stories is because of your personal bias against all things with nudity and because it is different then what your used to. You're being close minded which isn't good for smart people."

"Can we go now," said Chouji, who was having trouble standing up do to hunger. He hadn't eaten in over three hours.

Gaara wondered who it was that told them that they were going to be there. He decided that it had to be Naruto because Keiji was too loyal to him to do something like that and Temari didn't like interrupting someone's date. He and Rukia were having a quiet breakfast looking into each other's eyes when he heard Chouji shouting for joy that they had arrived. He knew it wasn't because Chouji was looking for him. It was because Chouji was hungry. He always was hungry. Honestly, Gaara didn't know what Ino saw in him. He tried to hide, but Naruto had noticed him before he could hide.

"Hey what are you doing Gaara," asked Naruto. "You looked like you were trying to hide."

"I was trying to enjoy a nice and quiet breakfast with my girlfriend," said Gaaara menacingly. "But it seem s that you would rather ruin my plans by bringing everyone here."

"Hey bro you never told me you had a girlfriend," said Kankuro leaning his arm on Gaara's shoulder.

"You were to busy looking for porno on the TV," said Gaara.

"I WAS NOT LOOKING FOR PORNO. WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT? I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR HBO."

"That doesn't exist in this universe," said Gaara. (It doesn't.)

"Okay can everybody just shut up about the porn thing okay," asked Kankuro.

"And I thought the Ero-senin was the only pervert," said Naruto.

"What about Kakashi," asked Kankuro. "He reads those perverted books, how do we know he wasn't looking for porn?"

"BECAUSE ALL HE DID WAS READ THOSE BOOKS AND TALK TO KURENAI," said Might Gai, who was knocked out by one of Keiji's punches.

"Use your inside voice you crazy crackhead," said Keiji. "Who let you off your leash anyway, I could have sworn I had you tied up in chains."

"That was a great exercise you gave me," said Gai. "Anyway, Kakashi and Kurenai seem to be getting close. By the way I'm not on crack."

"I've been taking care of her and the baby," said Kakashi. Kurenai had a child from her late husband Sarutobi Asuma. "I baby sit when she's on a mission or just needs some help. We're just friends, besides I have someone already."

"Really who," said his three former students, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke.

"That's a bit private," said Kakashi.

"Pwweeeaase," they said with puppy dog eyes.

"Ayame from Ichiruku Ramen."

"I knew it," said Naruto. "The way you and her look at each other, it was destined for you two to fall in love. Wait a minute, you got to be ten years older than her."

"Is that a problem," said Kakashi dangerously.

"No," said Naruto afraid of what Kakashi would do to him if he said yes.

"Well looks like I finally found you Keiji," said a voice.

Keiji turned to see Tsunade with Jiraiya. He said, "Hokage are you dating that sukebe?"

Jiraiya looked hopefully at Tsunade who just said, "Hell no."

"Then why are you her," said Keiji. "i was just about to treat everyone to breakfast when you showed up."

"Were you planning to use the money you took," said Tsunade her voiced giving away the fact that she was pissed. She saw Anko cracking her knuckles while looking dangerously at Keiji.

"Now ladies I can explain everything," said Keiji in the same nervous manner you'd hear a man would use when trying to explain to his wife why his wallet was at another woman's house. The women didn't want to hear it and dragged him into an alley as he kicked and screamed for help. Everyone just said a funeral prayer for Keiji as he was severely beaten by the combined forces of Anko and Tsunade.

Naruto and Hinata were sitting across from each other, which gave Naruto the idea to take a piece of his omelet and feed it Hinata. Everyone else at the table stopped and looked at Naruto, who had forgotten they were there, and Hinata, who was a bit embarrassed that he did that, but still thought it was romantic. Keiji flicked the waitress a coin and told her to put a specific Rod Stewart song on.

"What are you doing," asked Naruto.

"It's not what I'm doing, but what you've been doing at night," replied Keiji.

The song was Do You Think I'm Sexy, telling the story of two people hooking up and spending the night. The couple turned completely red and Naruto decided to fight fire with fire.

"Oh yeah, well why don't you Anko get married considering all that you do every night, said Naruto. "I wonder if you can keep up with her appetites."

Anko was about to kill Naruto, but was stopped by Keiji who said, "I think he's right about something."

He got down on one knee and handed her an open box. Inside was a ring.

"Anko I don't know anyone else I'd want to settle down with," said Keiji. "Will you let me be by your side until death do us part."

She wrapped her arms around his neck with joy and almost accidentally strangled him. She kissed him over and over while saying "yes."

"Well looks like you two were fucked up for each other," said Naruto laughing.

They both looked at him with eyes of death. "Naruto," they both said dangerously. Breakfast ended with a trip to the hospital where Tsunade helped heal Naruto's wounds at the constant begging of Hinata.

When Naruto woke up he saw Hinata sleeping in a chair next to his bed. He found he could move as normally as he did before the near death experience. Hinata woke up to the feeling of Naruto's lips on hers; they were in her room in the cabin. Keiji said it was alright for her to put him there since they were already so intimate and also because Kakashi would prevent Neiji from hurting Naruto. She pushed himback onto the bed.

"You should get more rest," she said.

"Don't worry I'm fine," said Naruto. He was surprised when he saw her strip to her under wear. It was then that he noticed that he was wearing only black boxers with a spiral on the right side.

"Here let me help you rest," she said. Her soft voice was working its magic on Naruto who was now at her beck and call.

"I'd like to see you try," he said.