Dumbledore's Secrets

Secret 5: Lavender Candles

While Harry and Dumbledore were rummaging through the rubbish in what appeared to be the living room, Harry found what appeared to be a torn up armchair. Now, I don't know why, but Harry stood it upright and sat down in it. Dumbledore, upon seeing this said "Harry get off that thing, you don't know where it's been!" So Harry stood up very quickly and went over and sat down on the piano bench (which appeared to be abnormally fat) he had spotted earlier. When he sat down, he leaned back to rest his eyes, but in doing so, his elbows hit the piano keys and made the normal noise you could expect from something like that, however, the sudden noise seemed to startle the lamp he was sitting next to, so he stood up yet again to get out of the way of the spontaneous movement from the lamp he had been sitting next to just a few seconds earlier. Suddenly, the lamp popped up, and instead of a lamp there was a portly man sitting on the floor. I mean this guy was FAT man, he was like HUUUUUUGE! Goodness he was fat.

"Oh, hello Albus…heh, heh, heh."

"Hey Slughorn, see Harry, this is the real reason we came here, though I do still want a bigger house, so Slughorn-"

"No." Said Slughorn interrupting what Dumbledore was asking "I won't do it and I never will."

"Umm, Slughorn, I was just asking how you've been doing."

"Oh, well you should've said so in the first place." Slughorn replied. "You see, ever since I found out You-Know-Who has come back, I've been moving from house to house every few months because I don't want to be taking a shower one day and suddenly find out there are wizards in there with me. I mean, I would be so embarrassed I don't know what I would do…"

"Umm, Slughorn, shouldn't you be more worried about what those wizards would do to you, not your embarrassment?"

"Ahh, the famous Harry Potter." Said Slughorn "No I'm not worried about what they would do to me because all they would do would be to ask me where Dumbledore is and I know they wouldn't find him anyway…So Dumbledore." Continued Slughorn. "How has your family been?"

"Oh, it's been good except for, you know Alfredo (Dumbledore said this name darkly again) I mean he hasn't spoke to us in like forever, man. And by know I know that you know that he changed his name from Alonso to Alfredo." Dumbledore suddenly stopped and smiled as if he was content. Suddenly Harry smelled lavender

"Oh professor, couldn't you go in the bathroom to do that?"

"Uh Harry, that's not him it's my…………………………………….

……….. (I just want to raise the suspense)………………….lavender scented candle. I bought a whole carton of them wholesale (that means cheap)-"

"I know what wholesale means." Said Harry "The Dursleys do it all the time."

"Well anyway…" continued Slughorn "I've been lighting them all the time, this is my last one, it's almost as if I'm addicted to lighting them or something, to run out this fast…." Now it was Slughorn's turn to stare into space for a while.

"Okay." Said Dumbledore rolling his eyes (Like he had never done something like this before) "Anyway, well my brother Alfredo was originally on the light side working for the Order, but he switched sides. Oh, I can't believe I forgot to say this! He was seduced by the dark side- he's a Voldemort wannabe- Noooooooo! Sorry, I'm being a little melodramatic here aren't I? Heh, heh, heh."

"Umm, okay professor, didn't you want to see Slughorn about something?"

"Yes, yes, that's true. Now Sluggy, my main man in the hishouse (Dumbledore said this like, you know, cool people) I was wondering if you would come and-"

"No." said Slughorn "I won't do it and I never will." He finished.

"Okay, what if I throw in a free box of lavender candles?"

"Oh…" said Slughorn clearly in a deep debate with himself "Make it two and it's a deal. You know, that was a dirty trick."

"Well, exceptions always outnumber rules you know." Said Dumbledore

"Okay, I must ask you one other thing and I want you to answer truthfully, okay, why did the chicken cross the road?"

I know that ended abruptly but I ran out of paper to write on. See you next time!