Dumbledore's Secrets

Secret 10: Part III- The Letters

As you may have guessed- for the secrets that have more than one part to them, we will rewind a little so you can remember what happened. Or you could just reread the chapter before it. (Never mind)

"Ow, I just hit my head on the window." Said Harry

"Oh, I thought for a second it might be an- OWL! Look there it is- pull it in! Pull it in!" Said Hermione. They pulled the owl in and saw that it had a scroll tied to its leg. Suddenly, they smelled chocolate and, of course, they had an urge for it. "Yum, this smells really good." Said Hermione.

"Yeah, that's to verify that this letter is from the real Dumbledore, not an imposter." Said Harry. "He told me once."

"What is it?" Asked no one in particular.

"It's his, heh, um, fart." Said Harry.

"Eww, yuck!" They all said.

"Ha, ha, ha, I can't believe you fell for it!" He said. "He never makes chocolate farts, he hates chocolate. It's just his chocolate stash that he keeps in his robes. They're his favorite. Duh!"

"He has a chocolate stash?" Asked Neville.

"Who told you that?" Asked Harry.

"Uh Harry, you said it, I think you might have hit your head a little harder than we thought." Said Hermione. "Are you okay?"

"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of."

"Oh geez, this must be really bad. Oh well, let's open the letter."

"Oh look- it has a package attached to it." Said Ron enthusiastically. "Quick, open it, open it!"

"When they opened the letter, they were dismayed to find that it wasn't from Dumbledore, as they had expected, it was from none other than, yep, you guessed it, Neville's grandmother. It read:

Dear Neville,

You silly boy, you have forgotten to bring your remembrall. I am sending it to you with this letter. If you forget it again, you will be about as welcome in this house as a fart in a telephone box (which means not very welcome). Do you understand? Oh, I see how it is, you aren't talking- fine, just remember that a rolling stone gathers no moss.

Love,

Gran-Gran

When they had finished reading the letter, they had much to say (funny how so short a letter can make such a large conversation).

"Neville, didn't you lose your remembrall in our first year?" Asked Hermione.

"Yes." He answered.

"Um, then what's in the box?" She asked.

"I don't know, let's find out------- phew!" He said after he had opened it and pulled out its contents. "Oh, it's just her chocolate-smelling ruby earring. I can't believe this; this is the third time she's done this. I'll have to send it back paste haste."

"Don't you mean poste haste?" Asked Harry.

"Why? What did I say? Paste haste oh oops, I meant poste haste. Silly me."

"Um also," started Harry "what did she mean by 'as welcome in this home as a fart in a telephone box'? It's somewhat ironic, because Dumbledore, as you well know-wait-do you know?"

"Know what?" Asked Luna. "'Cause we've figured out that he has the Flying Therapoid Disease, so, what else does he have wrong with himself?"

"Well, it's not really a problem as mush as an issue. (isn't that the same thing?) You see, he has a thing with farting and it's ironic that your gran (he said this to Neville) should mention farting in a letter when we're waiting for a letter from someone with a farting issue. And you know what else, I don't know what else, so I just gonna wait here for the letter we are waiting for. Get it, got it, good." Harry finished then sat down as he said he would.

About 10 minutes later Harry got a sign that the letter was about to arrive. Oh, you want to know what the sign was. Well, curiosity never hurt anyone (except Billy Rockstar). Okay, well, the sign was, well, it wasn't really a sign so mush as a premonition. Okay, here it is its coming, there it is, there it goes, oop, its coming back around, here we go:

Harry got the premonition that there would be chicken pot pie at the feast tonight. Now, I don't know why, but that showed that the letter would arrive in three, two, one.

Suddenly, as if on cue, an owl flew through the open window with a scroll attached to its leg, and yes, this time it really was from Dumbledore, but will it help them?

They opened it up ('they' being Hermione) and read it. Now, we haven't actually seen the letter, however we have the gist of it, here it is, the long awaited letter, here we go, okay.

Dear Hermione and Ron,

Who else was with you, oh, um, it's got to be, hm, let's see, Harvey, Harold, oh, Duh! Harry. Hi Harry! Okay let's skip the small talk and get right down to business. So how were your holidays everyone? Good, great.

After reading it (obviously that isn't the entire letter) they noticed there was a spot of blood on it. No matter, that was soon answered, but not in full.

Oops, looks like I'm dripping again. You see, it was just a full moon, so I had to leave civilization for a few days. Too bad seclusion doesn't work very well. Oh well, we're here to finish discussion of my dairy "issue", not my uncontrollable urge to bite people. Anyway, my "issue" started in, hm, you know, I don't remember when my "issue" started, oh well. When it did start, though, I suddenly noticed that when I ate anything dairyish, I farted. You know, I think that might be how I got my magic farts. Strange how open I'm being with you. Okay-

"I'm sorry Harry," started Hermione "I can't concentrate with all of this noise." Indeed, there was a loud banging coming from somewhere in the compartment- oh, heh, it was the door, someone was banging on the door.

"Uh Hermione" said Ron "the door."

"Oh yes, silly me, Alohomora!"

"Whoa, Hermione, are you okay? The door wasn't locked, someone was knocking on it." Said Ron

"I-I-I knew that."

"Ye-es" said Harry as he opened the door, but no one was there. "Oh great, another Ding-Dong-Ditch." He said sarcastically.

Then, out of nowhere a crab apple (or as they call them in Antarctica, an apple) (actually, they wouldn't really call it an apple, it would sound more like 'arf arf' or 'quack quack' or whatever penguins sound like. Though it would be extremely rare for them to even seen an apple, or as we're calling it, a crab apple. Anyway, never mind, back to the story, which is more important than my rambling) so where was I, ah, yes, okay, here we go.

The crab apple flew into the compartment and hit Neville square in the nose. "Ow." Said Neville. "Ew, I think this crab apple might be rotten. Here let me taste test…………………PLLLLLLLLLLLLL (he spat it out). Yep, it's definitely rotten alright." He said after a few moments of silence in which they all reflected on how the once proud and mighty crab apple had given its life so some prankster could throw it and destroy it perfectness. Goodness we're getting off topic here.

"Oh my" said Luna "The War rages on."

"What?" They all said.

"Long ago, a crab apple was picked and used for this purpose. Since then, a war has been going on, everybody is a target. Beware." She ended mysteriously.

"What?" They all said again.

"It was just a prankster." Said Hermione. "Nothing more. No crab apple war. No conspiracy. No nothing. It's a lie I tell you, a LIE!" She finished rather strongly.

"Wow Hermione, are you okay?" Asked Neville.

"Yes, I'm perfectly alright." She replied.

Just then another knock on the door resounded through the compartment yet again. However, unlike last time, there was someone there with another letter.

"Okay!" Yelled Harry "Gimme all of your money. NOW!"

The scared looking messenger started digging through their pockets nervously trying to get their money out.

"Its okay" said Ron "you can put your money back, somebody must have hit his mean switch. Now where was it? Oop, here it is (?)." When Ron said 'is', he flipped a switch on Harry's side and Harry became nice again.

As normal as this is, (yeah, normal) we're led to believe that something might be wrong with Harry because once the switch was flipped, he said "Happy Birthday!" To no one in particular.

"Uh, I have a letter from Professor Slughorn." Said the messenger.

"Who's Professor Slughorn?" Asked Hermione.

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" Asked Harry. "He's the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"Um, are you going to take the letter or not?' Asked the messenger.

"Yeah sure, we'll take it." Answered Harry.

The messenger handed them the letter and then left. Once the messenger was gone, they read the letter, it said:

Harry P. and Neville L.,

I would be delighted if you would join me for a bit of lunch in Compartment C.

Sincerely,

Professor H. E. F. Slughorn

After everyone had read the letter and a few moments of silence, Ron spoke. "I didn't know the compartments had letters."

"Well look." Said Harry. "It says right now, but, I want to finish reading the letter."

"Oh, you're not really missing anything Harry; it actually doesn't really talk about his dairy "issue" any more. It gets off topic. Here, you can have it, bring it with you, if you get time, I suggest you read it, it's pretty interesting." Said Hermione.

"Oh fine, we'll go to this 'lunch' as he's calling it." Said Harry.

Really long, but lots of info. like I said. Also, a lot of foreshadowing, some of it more obvious than others. Hopefully this time we'll get some reviews or we'll have to discontinue the story... See ya next time!