Chapter 24: Schemes
Disclaimer: Okay folks, look, I don't own shit. I don't even own my soul anymore, not since I sold it for funyuns once just to see if I could.
Authors note: The names of Keiji's children are Junpei for the boy and Satsuki. Junpei is from Ichigo 100 and Satsuki is from Ghost Stories. Also, read my other stuff and comment on it.
The girls were planning on having a sleep over in the old haunted complex just so they could play a prank on their boyfriends. None of the girls had forgotten about the prank the boys had played on them when they were on vacation. (See the new and improved chapter two and review it please.) They had gotten payback, but now they were ready to dish out their own batch of pranks. The best place to do that was at the supposedly haunted complex. Hell, even Anko wanted to scare Keiji and she got the kids to help them. They were four years of age and they were quickly becoming great ninjas, but also picking up some of Naruto's traits, including a liking of pranks. They would often hang out with Naruto and Hinata so they could play pranks. They'd often try to prank Naruto on his dates with Hinata, but so far they had no success. They also had no luck on their other two targets, Sasuke and Keiji. They had one tried to replace all of Kakashi's Icha Icha books with books from a famous yaoi series, but they had found themselves on the business end of a Thousand Years of Pain. That ended that quickly, but Keiji encouraged the kids to try harder on him and Sasuke always believed that Naruto had put them up to it.
"Yay, we get to prank Kyuubi," said the two children. When they found out about Naruto being the Kyuubi no Kitsune they both started calling him Kyuubi, much to the chagrin of the villagers who now rather liked Naruto.
"You know, that's why your both very unpopular at school," said Hyuuga Hanabi. She was dating Konohamaru now, the reasons why escapes anybodies notice, but she was a chunin now, just like Naruto.
"We don't care, we can go wolf shit on anyone who tries shit with us," said the two kids smiling. They were both immediately knocked on the head.
"What did I tell you two about that language," asked Anko. She hadn't quit her bouts of swearing, but she would not stand for the kids to be talking trash. "No cursing unless you're in a fight."
"Yes mam," said the Junpei and Satsuki.
"Also respect the villagers don't like it because it's a sign of disrespect," said Anko. "Naruto is the strongest shinobi and was just acknowledged as the second captain of ANBU, putting him on equal footing as Kakashi."
"So we have to call him Naruto-san from now on right," said the two.
"No, you can also call him Kyuubi-san," said Anko smiling.
"So how are we going to trick Kyuubi-san and daddy," said Junpei. His black hair was smoothed back and tied into a ponytail.
"We need you two to transform into ghosts," said Ino as she placed her hand on Junpei's head. "Do you think you can do that little man?"
"It'll be a cinch Ms. Piggy," said Junpei with a big grin. He really had no idea what he had just done.
"What did you say brat," asked Ino picking the kid up by his shirt.
"That's what auntie Sakura calls you," said Satsuki trying to save her brother.
"Billboard brow called me that," asked Ino, her eyes were white with rage.
"Yes I did," said Sakura from the window. She stuck her tongue out at Ino before running off.
They didn't make it far before Anko caught both of them and dragged them back kicking and screaming. Those girls were going to help her pull one over on Keiji even if she had to use their corpses. She made that all to clear.
"So our girlfriends are having a sleep over in the haunted complex and they want us to come along," said Kiba.
"I smell a prank," said Naruto. "I mean even Hana decided to be apart of this. I know they just want to prank Shino, I just know it. Well I think I know who their going to use since they asked my old sensei to watch over the twins."
"Your plan is," asked Keiji as he lit his cigarette with a fire from his thumb.
"I'll put the kids under a genjutsu and take them to Iruka, who should be entertaining another girl tonight," said Naruto. He was laughing on the inside at Iruka's perverted antics, but he also couldn't help but feel that Iruka was already working on the women's side for payback for the endless pranks that Naruto had pulled on him when Naruto was an academy student.
"Yeah, but what do we do for the counter attack," asked Kiba.
"Let's go to the Timbales," said Naruto. The Timbales was a Mexican restaurant that one of Naruto's subordinates played the guitar at with his band, a man by the name of Sanjuro. He was also a village heartthrob who often got the most girls in his group.
"So what do you need Sanjuro for," asked Kiba.
"I'll tell you when we get there," replied Naruto.
Sanjuro had white hair that was slicked back into short spikes to give off a Godzilla look. His beard was never fully grown, just hair that was sometimes shaved, but it was mainly unkempt. He had golden eyes that often seemed like stars. He didn't have abs as rock hard as Naruto's nor did he have the delicate build that Sasuke had, but he was still the envy of many men. He had a sticker that said, "member of the church of the well endowed men." His band in which he was the lead singer and also guitarist for first started his reputation. Another specialty which people never knew about save for Naruto, was that he also had a passion for directing movies and made all of his special effects.
"Sounds like you need my horror movie kit, right," asked Sanjuro smiling. "Well, then I guess you also need my acting skills."
"Yes and the head," said Naruto.
"What's the head," asked Kiba.
"It's a special effect that I made along time ago for decapitation scenes," said Sanjuro as he took another sip of his drink. "The person who the head is supposed to look likes pours chakra into the head and the head transforms all on it's own. I've been trying to make a body, but that would require a puppeteer and there are no puppeteers in Konoha, unfortunately."
"I'm a puppeteer," said Kankuro. "I could use the body if you need it."
"The only problem is Anko," said Gaara. "She'll see your strings as will Hinata and Hanabi. Don't under estimate the Hyuuga."
"Which is why we need you Gaara," said Naruto. "You can create those sand clones that we can use for one of us and place the head on top."
"That's a brilliant idea," said Sanjuro putting his sake cup down. "I think I should be the person to be decapitated since they don't know me that much and emotional attachment isn't an issue."
"What do you mean," asked Kiba.
"He means that if one of us were to die in front of our loved ones then we might accidentally psychologically scar them," said Shino. "Really that's the best idea, and then one of us can go missing. Someone who can disappear into something, like myself or Gaara-san."
"Wait I can't write that fast," said Keiji. "Wait how come we have Keichiro, but Kakashi and Kurenai aren't apart of this scheme?"
"I guess she wanted another," said Sasuke.
"How dare you say something like that about our sensei," said Kiba.
"Our ex-sensei," corrected Shino. "Anyway, she's fallen in love with Kakashi and I think Kakashi has returned her love. Who cares if they're going at it right now."
"But we all know Kakashi's a pervert," protested Kiba.
"Kakashi senpai isn't a pervert," said Naruto. "How dare you say something like that you mongrel."
"Who you calling mongrel fox-boy," asked Kiba.
"Well this fox-boy can kick your ass," said Naruto, who had slipped right behind Kiba to pull the chair out from under him.
"Will both of you knock it off," said both Shino and Sasuke. They looked at each other and then at their teammates, one of which was thrown across the room. (Kiba, but come on, it's not surprising.)
"Hey no breaking up the room," said Sanjuro. He went to pick up his guitar and motioned for his band mates to follow. They would occasionally just play Santana songs when they were bored or Sanjuro was bored.
"Well see you tonight at your wearhouse," said naruto leaving only to have to dodge Kiba's tackle.
Sanjuro didn't reply, he just went on to singing.
"Got a black magic woman,
got a black magic woman
I got a black magic woman
got me so my eyes can see
that she's a black magic woman
she's trying to make a devil out of me."
"I've seen the Kyuubi," said the ninja in yellow. "So he's the one who took out my brother?"
"Yes," replied the ninja in blue. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to save him, Ishikawa."
"It's alright," said Ishikawa. "My brother started the fight and failed. I ear no ill will to this Naruto, but I still must fight him since custom demands it. Who is your prey, Hotsuma?"
"The wolf-eyed one called Keiji," said Hotsuma. "I didn't get to finish him before do to the one called Gaara. I guess I have to send my protégé to entertain him."
"If the one called Gaara stopped you then I doubt your protégé can do anything about it."
"But you don't know the connection the two had when he was still living," said Hotsuma with a chuckle. "I am to cruel for words."
"It will be your undoing one day," said Ishikawa, making his threat clear. "You may have been an ally, but I know that you personally let my brother fight the Kyuubi. When I am done with him, I will be after your head next."
And with that, Ishikawa leapt out into the sky to be shrouded by the darkness. Hotsuma laughed as he stroke his chin and said, "Sounds like I have my fun cut out for me."
Author's note: Well now isn't this warming up. A new mysterious enemy has shown up, but is no one's friend. The men are trying to out prank the girls, but will it work? What is up with Hotsuma, he turned out crazier than any of my other writings of him. Do i even keep track of my story or am I just writing and hoping not to contradict myself. Can i get my soul back, or did i even sell it to Satan? And what will become of this new character Sanjuro and who is he based off of? Why the hell am I ranting to you, you don't know? I'm going to end it in a few chapters unfortunately and hopefully write a follow up. Maybe something for Holloween and Christmas. Also, Keichiro is the son of Kurenai and Kakashi is banging her.