A/N: Please forgive the very looooong time with no updates. School is over for the summer and I am hoping to write lots more. I will summerize for people who forget what is going on.
Anakin is not in a suit. He was burned and he lost his arms but his legs,face and lungs are still in tact. (I could not totally ruin such a perfect man) Padme did not die though everyone thought she did. She woke up in a motuary and as she tried to escape Palpatine found her. He took her and totured her and again she "died". Vader found her as she wa sbeing carried out and he took her to his home on VJUN. It is the only place in the universe (at least in this story) that has a force shield so Palpatine can't find her here. Padme becomes pregnant and losses the child. She goes into a deep depression that eventually helps to bring Anakin back. I hope you all enjoy the new chapter.

Chapter 18

Anakin sat in the chair beside his bed watching Padme sleep. He had slept 3 nights at her side and sat 3 days watching over her. Though they hardly ever touched, he felt more relaxed and at peace than he had in years. Padme's body needed time to recuperate after the ordeal she had been through. The Dr had been here and aside from being drained of much of her strength Padme was fine. Anakin was determined to get her well as soon as possible because he knew The Emperor would not leave him alone too long.

Anakin could not think about the Emperor though because if he did such a wave of guilt and shame would flood him causing a paralysis of mind and body. Whenever his mind would travel to those thoughts a cool breeze would fill his mind bringing temporary soothing.

Anakin did not know this but Qui Gon was responsible for these force-soothing breezes. He did this not to make Anakin forget his deeds but he needed to have Anakin's mind fully functioning because there was things Anakin needed to learn. He needed an apprentice who was fully functioning and didn't need his hand held every step of the way.

Qui Gon had other business to tend to today he needed to go into the heart of Evil undetected. True he was a spirit but through the force spirits could easily be detected and he did not need to be felt by anyone or anything this day. Palpatine was always on alert for force sensitive beings. Qui Gon needed to plant an idea into Palpatine's mind and when he needed to communicate with the living he could be sensed. He watched Palpatine go through his day so he could plant the thought at the perfect time. Finally it came toward the end of the day. Palpatine had a meeting with Grand Moff Tarkin about the new Space Station. Right in the middle of Tarkin droning on about who was promoted and who was demoted, Palpatine was in a state of barely paying attention. Quick as lightening Qui Gon planted the thought and left.

Tarkin was done with his report and Palpatine praised him for keeping on schedule. Tarkin was dismissed and Palpatine hit the com to his personal connection with Vader. It beeped and Palpatine waited. Anakin answered and Palpatine gave him some surprising news. Palpatine was giving Vader a month off for working so hard and pleasing his master. Vader thanked Palpatine and switched off the com. Anakin was puzzled what had caused the Emperor to do something so extraordinarily nice. Palpatine never rewarded where Vader was concerned. He always pointed out flaws criticized any amount of weakness and made him work very hard. After a short pondering though Anakin decided to not question the supreme one and just get back to Padme.
Padme was awake when he entered the room. She looked rested and more like her. Anakin sat beside her and she threw her arms around him. He reveled in the feel of her in his arms again. Passions stirred in him but they were quickly shot down by a small cry from Padme. She had yet to deal with the death of her baby and though she had only carried it for 6 months it was a big loss to her. She was never able to mourn the loss of her twins, which she knew were out there somewhere, and then she looses her next child. She needed to spill out her feeling to Anakin, and He was there holding her right now.

Anakin held her as she cried so her heart would break. All he could do was cry along with her. Finally she blurted out, "They are gone. All our children are gone."

There was nothing to say to that. What could he say? He felt the pain and guilt stab him freshly. He knew it was his fault the twins were taken from her and any hope of some kind of redemption with the new child was dashed to pieces 6 months ago.

"I had such hopes each time. I only got a glimpse of Luke and Leia before there was nothingness. I dreamed of days with this one for I would not let this one be taken from me. But I failed." and she crumbled against him again.

"You did not fail my love. I failed you and that led to my failure with the children. I was so scared for you and I let my emotion rule my actions. I just could not let go of my fear. I tried once but it came back gripping so hard to my heart I could not breathe. I failed you though and I lost you anyway. I thought I was redeemed when I found you but I was not. Even now I am not redeemed, but I love you with my whole heart. I hope earn your love again."

Padme looked at him in amazement as he confessed his feelings to her. She heard for the first time in her life some of his true feeling of inadequacies. He had always tried to prove himself the Hero to her, but she knew what was always hiding inside. He just never said such things to her.

"Oh Anakin! Will you never learn? You have NEVER needed to earn my love it has always been there. Even when you were Vader I loved you. Why else would I stay with you? I knew you were there somewhere deep inside. Somehow I thought maybe this child would bring you back to me."

"You know in a way he did. I am here and it is because of the baby. You, my love, you never once upset me. You always have been my angel. I loved you the first time I saw you and never once was disappointed in you. Please stop feeling like a failure."

"I will if you do one thing for me."

"What?"

"Rest knowing that I love you."

Anakin throat closed with emotion as he pulled her into a crushing hug. Padme took that as a yes and each soon found healing in each other's body's as well as their hearts.

Qui Gon knew Anakin would be ready for his next trial.

A/N: Please review!!!!!!! Even if you hate it I would love to know opinions.