Chapter 2: In Which Voldemort is confused
The spell on Harry had not worn off, but it had weakened slightly, leaving room for variations in the two statements. The sinister figure laughed evilly. With these variations, more chaos would be caused!
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Harry, still oblivious to the fact that anything was wrong, went about his day as normal the next day.
At breakfast, Dumbledore stood up to make a speech. The castle and its inhabitants were still recovering from the Death Eater attack the day before. Dumbledore cleared his throat, popped a lemon drop in his mouth…
…and started choking, forgetting, yet again, that the lemon drops had been replaced with cinnamon-flavored ones.
After hacking, drinking copious amounts of water, and getting Snape, who was the nearest professor, to do the Heimlich, Dumbledore once again cleared his throat, not noticing that by now, he had lost all the respect of everyone in the room.
"As you know, Hogwarts was attacked yesterday." Snickers were heard from the Slytherin table. "Many fine people were lost in the attack. Let's all have a moment of silence for the fallen."
It would have been a nice gesture, except for the unfortunate timing of the house-elves. They chose at that moment to clear the tables with a loud "pop!" Giggles broke out all over the Great Hall, and Dumbledore decided to end the moment of silence to prevent further mishap.
"Anyway, we still have hope! Many Death Eaters were wounded, dealing Lord Voldemort—" gasps from everyone "—a terrible blow! This is a great victory for the Light!"
Harry stood up, and students and teachers alike went silent, waiting for words of wisdom. Harry looked around, his gaze finally settling on Dumbledore.
"Voldemort needs a hug."
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By lunch, a new club had been formed at Hogwarts. The "Aid Lord Voldemort" sign hung up in a corner of the Great Hall had only three lone figures standing around it: Harry, and the unwilling Ron and Hermione.
"Harry, this is crazy. We shouldn't be supporting Voldemort! No one wants to join! No one is crazy enough to join!" Hermione whispered frantically. "They'll only join us if we brainwash them, or something!"
Harry smiled at her and nodded. "That's my job!"
Hermione and Ron gaped at him. "What?!"
Harry took out his wand and waved it casually at Dumbledore. The next second, the Headmaster was talking to the student population.
"I'm sure that many of you feel horrible about hurting Death Eaters yesterday. So, instead of classes, we're all going to stay here and write an apology letter to Voldemort! Everyone," and here he glared, "must write a personal message. We'll send it tonight!" He beamed.
Harry also smiled, and looked at Hermione and Ron, and then at everyone else. They were all staring at him, doing a remarkably accurate imitation of a fish. Without the scales, of course.
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Voldemort was understandably confused the next day when he received a giant letter the next day, complete with chocolate. On the front was a huge "Sorry for your loss!" and smiley faces. In disbelief, he opened the card and read a few of the messages inside.
'Dear…. Um…. You-know-who…. Sorry? Uh, yeah… sorry we killed some Death Eaters? Um… have a nice day?...'
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'My dearest Lord Voldemort,
On behalf of all of Hogwarts, I apologize for being a meanie. I was very disrespectful of your Death Eaters' feelings and hope there's no hard feelings. I have sent a box of chocolates along as well. I hope you like dark chocolate!
Most sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore'
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'Hi… mister dark lord? We're, uh… sorry about your loss? Hope you feel better…. soon…'
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'Dear Voldemort,
You need a hug, and that's my job! You'll get a hug, because it's my job to give hugs!
Sincerely,
Harry Potter'
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Voldemort only had one thought running through his mind, and it wasn't along the lines of "what the heck?" He was thinking,
"Hmm. Quite good chocolate."
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