Note: Well, this chapter does have a section of it that I'm well aware didn't happen in the real story of Harry Potter. I know that Snape never reached werewolf Lupin, but becuase I wanted to write the scene where it happened, I did. So, yes. I do know that that section is techinically false, but I decided to go with it anyway. And Snape stole the library book, he's not borrowing it. : ) Also, I'm not a hundred-percent sure how the whole Voldemort's followers thing began, so this is just a guess on my part. Sorry if I messed that up too... Well, yup.

Chapter Four

And if the snow buries my, my neighboorhood.
And if my parents are crying
Then i'll dig a tunnel from my window to yours,
Yeah, a tunnel from my window to yours.

You climb out the chimney,
And meet me in the middle, the middle of the town.

Then our skin gets thicker from
Living out in the snow.

You change all the lead
sleeping in my head to gold,
as the day grows dim
I hear you sing a golden hymn

"Congratulations on a successful examination, I applaud everyone of you that passed. Now, as you all know, next year you will all be taking your Ordinary Wizard Levels. The grades that you score on these will be essential in your career choices. I suggest over the summer you all start to put some thought into what careers you shall seek in the future. Well, that concludes this all the transfiguration for you this year. I hope you enjoy your summer holidays. See you all on September the first!" Professor McGonagall placed her hands flat on the desk as the whole class clamored out of their seats and made their way to the door. Snape weaved through the sea of Ravenclaw students and out into the corridor. Another year at Hogwarts was finally complete. The small shred of relief Snape felt was nothing compared to the behemoth sized dread of seeing his father again. An entire summer of rotting away… wonderful… Snape thought as he made his way out into the courtyard. Not knowing or wanting to do anything at all he choose a spot on the grassy ground and sat down with his back against a tree. He then extracted a book from his back. His dark eyes scanned the title, Legilimency; Secrets Unfolded. Snape had discovered the title in the library and was interested to find out more. The art of delving into the mind of another and picking at their deepest secrets seemed like a veritable world of possibilities. If he could somehow find a way to discover Potter's secret plans and bust them wide open…

Moments later he was absorbed in the book. The theories, to him, seemed almost too easy to be true. He read from the balmy afternoon into dusk, taking in every word with increasing interest.

"Term's over, Snivelly!" At once his book was wrenched away from him. Grasping the air in front of him, he saw Sirius black. "This'll be of no use to you now! Allow me to dispose of it for you. Besides you need to be studying proper washing methods, not… Legi...men...? What's all this rubbish, then?"

"Let me show you." Snape growled. "Legilimens!" Concentrating on the methods shown in the book and executing them with precise action, Snape was suddenly plunged into flash after flash of memories. He saw a young Sirius glumly looking out the window in a musty dark manor… Sirius and James were comforting a troubled looking Lupin… The four of them were pouring over some sort of blank parchment, discussing ideas… At once the memories faded from Snape's head as Sirius bellowed in outrage. Snape was panting with exhilaration and smile crossed his thin lips. He couldn't believe he actually pulled it off. Sirius looked thoroughly shaken. He'd dropped the book into the grass and was slowly backing away from Snape.

"What just happened…? How did you?" Sirius' eyes darted around, looking slightly disturbed.

"A look into the life and times of Mr. Sirius Black… Tell me, how does it feel to have an enemy inside your head?" Snape said curtly, relishing Sirius' frightened look. Black snarled at him and backed up slightly.

"You'll pay for that, Snivellus!" Without another word Sirius ran off, no doubt to seek comfort from his master, James Potter. Snape stood glowing with happiness as she watched Sirius run, his dark robes billowing in the evening wind. He stepped over in a businesslike manner and removed the book from the ground, tucking it into his pocket.

"That was amazing, Snape…" Said a calm voice from behind him. Pursing his lips, Severus turned to see Cleo leaning gracefully on the tree. "What did you do to him?" Snape looked at her ponderingly.

"I gave him a scare… that's all…If I ever really hurt one of precious Potter's little pawns the headmaster would toss me out. I am forced to remain civil, much as I long to see them bleed…" Snape gathered his belongings and began to move away from Cleo. She followed behind him like a hawk eyeing it's prey.

"Severus, where have you been lately. Malfoy's said you've been hanging around Muggle-Born filth. Is that true?" She asked, showing a very uncommon note of concern in her voice. Snape felt an odd twinge in his stomach but remained steady.

"I don't know any Muggle-Borns and I don't have any friends at all, remember?" Snape said waspishly, keeping his gaze fixed in front of him.

"Well, Lucius told me you've been hanging round that Gryffindor girl called Evans…" She said as-a-matter-of-factly. "She's a Mudblood. Lucius says you two've gotten quite cozy… You fancy her don't you?" Deep inside him Snape felt a wave of anger towards Cleo and Lucius but quickly recovered.

"Charming though Malfoy's inspiration was, the answer is no." Snape drawled, climbing the steps into the castle. Cleo looked doubtful and sighed. As if considering something, she suddenly burst into a hurried whisper.

"Snape, listen. I've got to talk to you about something. Something really important." She pulled him by the wrist through the entrance hall and into a deserted dungeon corridor. She looked side to side to make sure no one was around, then gave him a dark look. Snape looked irritated with her.

"How much do you know about the… the Dark Lord?" She whispered harshly, looking a bit fearful. Snape was honestly confused.

"Dark Lord?" He inquired. Cleo looked a bit unsettled for a moment.

"He calls himself Lord… Lord Voldemort, but we do not speak his name. He's got a small group of followers who believe in the world we believe in. He stands for the noble house of Slytherin and the fact that Muggle filth shouldn't be allowed to learn magic. Some of the older Slytherins have already joined, and the rest of us are eager to. We could use talent like yours, Severus. You could help pave the road to a new era of wizarding… you could have all the power you desired…" Cleo finished, a mad, excited look in her eyes. Snape was a bit disturbed by her demeanor. He bit his lip slightly.

"As much as your offer tempts me, I'll have to decline for now… I don't want to get mixed up in illegal activities just yet." Snape said sarcastically. Cleo squinted her eyes at him.

"You always were rather unpleasant, Severus…" She eyed him with mild distaste. "Well, when you realize who's going to come out on top, the Dark Lord will be waiting." She made to leave but then turned back to him. "Oh, you tell anyone about this and James Potter will be the least of your worries, mate…" She said, her ruby lips glinting in the dull candlelight. Snape gave her his most unpleasant smile and they parted ways.

As the Hogwarts Express pulled into King's Cross Station to platform 9 ¾ Snape was almost sorry to leave. He got off the train and eyed the students who were engaged in tearful and joyous reunions with their parents and siblings. Snape's lip curled at the sentimental sight and he turned on heel. Setting off towards the exit of the platform, Snape turned back for one last glance at Lily Evans. It took but a moment to pick her brilliant red hair out of the crowd. She was chatting animatedly to her parents. Beside her a girl who had to be her sister looked extremely uncomfortable. Severus gazed at her, his face stony but his heart filled with yearning. With a jolt of excitement she looked in his direction. In a moment that seemed to quiet the noisy chatter around them, Lily smiled broadly and waved at him. Snape tried his best to smile back, knowing he looked ridiculous. He put up a hand, then quickly turned and raced through the platform. He knew that Lily most likely thought of him as the most socially awkward person on the face of the earth, but the attention from her still gave him a shock of elation. Smiling to himself and keeping his head down, Snape began his long journey home.

Murky darkness clouded the air outside Snape's home. From the moment the Muggle cab driver left him standing in the front walk he knew something was wrong. The door was a swinging open in the light summer breeze. Leaving his belongings outside, Snape produced his wand and kicked the door open from a distance. It was pitch dark inside the house.

Cautiously, Snape lit his wand and crept forward into the gloom. Once he was inside and found there was no sign of immediate danger anywhere, he turned on the lights. The sitting room furniture had been smashed and littered all over the floor. The table where just last winter Severus and his father sat arguing had been upturned and splintered. Everything was in disarray. Padding warily down the hall and peering into each empty room, Severus called out through the thick silence. There was no answer. He went into his room at the end of the hall and saw that most the things inside had been upturned. Scanning the room carefully, what he saw on the wall below the window make his throat close up slightly. A smear of dried blood marred the dirty tan wall right below the windowsill. The window above was open and the curtains were flapping like ghosts in the wind. Snape moved closer and saw he could discern the outline of a head and a pair of shoulder in the blood smear. He sat cross legged on the ground beside the wall, wondering what could've happened. As his eyes searched the spot around the window for some sort of clue he saw a piece of paper jammed in between the floor boards. He tugged on it and with some effort dislodged the object. There was something bundled up in side the paper. Snape unrolled it and a golden key rattled to the floor. Confused, he looked up at the paper. It had a bloody fingerprint and a few spatters of scarlet across it. Scribbled in messy ink were several words.

Now we are free.

E.P.

Feeling sick and invigorated all at once, Snape stood up a great rushing in his ears. He knew what this meant, knew exactly who'd done this. A great feeling of glory rose up in his chest, knowing that he was indeed emancipated. Scooping the key from the ground and shutting the window Snape smiled with the fortifying fact that his father was gone and would never return. He was indeed free.

Solitude and silence worked together to make the summer holidays perfect for Severus. After the first week of repairing the damage done to his newly won over home, all he had left to do was whatever he wished. He finished the Legilimency book after the first few days of freedom and began to practice the theory behind it. When his thirst for knowledge grew too powerful he made an excursion to Diagon Alley where he discovered the use of the golden key left behind in the scrap of paper. It turned out to be the key to a vault stocked high with Galleons and Sickles. He withdrew a large amount and went straight to Flourish and Blotts and bought all the books he could carry. The remainder of his summer holidays was spent immersed in the pages of many a book. Snape longed to practice his newfound techniques, but felt the anticipation of watching Potter crawling on his belly to get away from whatever could be poking around his most intimate memories at the start of term would be worth it. Aside from Legilimency, Severus began to delve into the world of creating his own spells. Snape studied the Latin roots and power that commanded the mystique of the magical wand. As he filled his mind with visions of dark magic and powerfeul enchantmnets, he vertiabley ached to try them out for himself. It was frustrating to be limited to dreams when he could simply reach out and command his wishes to become true.

However, when the books were safely tucked away, it was very different type of yearning that gripped Snape. He couldn't stop seeing Lily. She was everywhere. She wouldn't leave him. She…couldn't leave him. The depraved seed of weakness and desire that had been planted had gone to seed. It tangled inside of him, constricting his very life. He could no longer ignore the dark flames that seared him and the absence of her only made the sickness that ailed him worse. He desperately needed to see her face, to see her floating by in the corridor, to let her girlish and delicate laughter set his heart off. It was driving him completely mad.

The pure and seething hatred he expressed towards the world and those living in seemed to skip over that lovely girl. One evening as he lay on his bed, feeling blinding frustration he could drive the fact off no longer.

I'm hopelessly… in…love…

The fact brought no joy to his heart. It rather filled him with a dull sense of despair. He knew that it was utterly impossible for a shining creature like Lily to feel any sort of affection for a wretch like himself. It was if he were in a sealed room slowly filled with icy water. There was no way out.

And yet in the few moments before sleep he could see himself beside her…

Once the dreadful doldrums of summer had come to an end, the students found themselves back at Hogwarts again. The first weeks of term turned out to be sopping wet. Rain fell endlessly from the sky as the students splashed from class to class. Everything was the exact same way they had left it in the summer time. The O.W.L. examination preparation began as early as the first day of term. The fifth years' work load was constantly getting piled higher day by day. Snape worked long hours in the dormitory on scrolls of homework, essay and reading long a boring chapters from the history of magic textbook. Each night proved longer than the next. Nobody had much time for anything. Potter's torment had even rolled to a standstill in light of the new work load. One Sunday in the middle of October the rain pounded so hard that the grounds were nearly flooded. Sitting inside all afternoon, Snape began his homework by his dormitory window. His wand dangled in his hand as he practiced the spells written on the paper in front of him. The chill in the air and the rhythmic pounding of the rain outside was enough to make him feel drowsy. Sleep deprived and fatigued, Snape nodded off for what seemed like a few moments. The sleep became darker and deeper at an alarming rate.

At once he was standing in the middle of a grubby room, searing pain tearing into his chest and arms. A trickle of blood flowed down his wrist into a pool on the ground. Tearing his shirt away he cried out in agony and disgust. Twisted black thorns crept all around his chest and coiled about his arms, tearing into his skin. Blood oozed down from all around him. He could feel the thorns digging deeper, killing him. He could taste the blood in his mouth, choking him. The thorns began to gather in a point on his chest, twisting and shredding away parts of his body. He had to remove it, extract it. He grabbed his wand and cried out for help.

"Sectus… Latin for… cutting…." He could hear is own voice mumbling. The pain right in the middle of his chest, a stinging point. "Sectus!" He yelped. A pain clawed at his arm and Severus jerked away. He looked around, heart still beating quickly. The quill he'd been using to complete his charms homework was poking into his chest. He removed it at once and saw a drop of his blood dotting the tip. Even as the effects of the dream wore away, he could still feel a raw stinging on his arm. Pushing away his cloak he saw a deep angry gash dripping on the underside of him arm. Confounded but strangely hypnotized he touched the bleeding wound.

"Sectus?" He murmured to himself. He stared increduously at his wand which he still grasped. A crash of thunder exploded outside the window and Severus turned to look outside. Out in the thick of the storm were two people slowly crossing the grounds. With every beat of Snape's heart a sting of pain lurched up his wound, but it still wasn't enough to break Snape's gaze on the two who scoured the grounds. He saw the silhouette of the person on the right twist back watching intently. Another crash of lightening illuminated the grounds and in the split second that Severus saw the person's face he knew the battle with Potter would soon be won. Remus Lupin. Throwing his things aside, Snape threw himself out of the dormitory and down the stone staircase. Pounding through the common room door Snape was plunged into darkness. He knew he had to be quiet and stealthy, but he also had to hurry. Plowing through the tunnels and stone halls of the maze that was the dungeon, Snape soon emerged into the entrance hall, not making a sound. As his eyes darted around the hall maliciously he spied three outlines of three boys crouching in the shadows beside the door. One was fat and the other two were tall and lean. Snape could barely hide his excitement. Smiling maniacally, Severus rushed forward like a great bat and brandished his wand like a whip.

"STUPEFY!" He hissed victoriously. "Locomotor Mortis!" He aimed two curses at the boy in the center and watched him crash to the ground and fall still. He heard the squeal of Peter Pettigrew and the disoriented yelp of Sirius Black. Snape aimed an unspoken disarming curse at the both of them before they could jinx him. He grabbed the front of Sirius' robes and pushed him into the wall.

"Well, well, well… Mr. Black and his buddies out for a midnight stroll." He hissed in Sirius' ear.

"Gerroff me, Snape!" Sirius struggled but Snape put a wand to his neck and aimed a venomous glance at fat scared Pettigrew.

"Move and I'll make you wish you were never born." Snape was enamored with the power that coursed through him as Pettigrew whimpered in grim understanding.

"Now, let's go all of you. I'm taking you all for an excursion to see the headmaster. Let's get moving, chums… Levicorpus…" James' unconscious body rose into the air as if dangled on invisible strings.

"B-but what about Lupin?" Sirius said somewhat loudly to Pettigrew. Snape swooped back around, James bobbing like a huge marionette doll.

"Lupin's around here?" Snape demanded. Sirius was deathly quiet, looking almost exaggeratedly fearful of Snape. "TELL ME!" Snape spoke with terrible force.

"W-we… didn't want to…No, I mustn't reveal our plans…" Sirius whimpered. Snape was a bit confused with Black's irregular demeanor, but was mad with the desire to know of their plans.

"You tell me now!" Snape commanded, pushing the tip of his wand into Sirius throat. His arm gave a fierce sting of pain. Sirius sobbed a bit.

"Just go to the big willow tree and prod the knot in the very center… I-it's all t-there…" Sirius sounded totally defeated. Snape broke into a wide smile. "Incarcerous!" Three lines of bindings shot out and tied Sirius, James and Peter up tightly.

"I'll be back soon with the fourth member of your little club. Take a good look around, this may be the last look you get of these halls." Snape sneered at them. Sirius was scowling in his direction, a strange line of fear shadowing his face. Severus ran out the door set off across the grounds. Rain pummeled and chilled, plunging icy stings into his wound. Treading on the sopping grounds Severus approached the tree, quite out of breath. He looked around a spied a long stick on the ground and poked the exact spot where Sirius had instructed him to do so. At once, the shuddering tree began to relax and a dark spot opened in the roots of the tree. Magnificently excited, Snape rushed forward into the darkness without a moment's hesitation. Inside it was a cold and narrow walkway. Severus kept moving as fast as he could. He could feel the victory he'd pursued since his very first day at Hogwarts growing ever closer. For what seemed like an hour of crawling about in the dripping darkness a thin, dull rectangle of light flashed into view. A door. Feeling extremely fatigued but mad with desire, Snape lunged forward and grasped the handle of the door and wrenched it open forcibly. Snape peered into the dull atmosphere before him… All around were festering pieces of furniture and broken glass, encased by thin, creaking wood walls. A dark sense of familiarity crept over him. He was in the Shrieking Shack. He glanced over at the door, remembering vaguely the day he'd stood side by side with Lily. This was it. He was so close to bringing all of James' cruelty and arrogance to a dead stop. Amongst the sounds of crashing rain and thunder, a low growling rumbled into the night. Furrowing his brow, Snape turned towards the stairwell above him, and froze suddenly. At the rail of the landing, growling a drooling madly was a full grown werewolf. Snape stood in shock, urging his legs to move but finding he had lost control of them. The beast reared back, ready to pounce and Snape's ankles went out. With a fearsome swooping the werewolf leapt from the top of the landing to the ground floor, right in front of Snape. It rounded on him, gnashing its teeth hungrily. Snape's frozen limbs jerked weakly. He couldn't even find the breath to cry out. With lightening fast movements and incredible strength the beast leapt on him and slashed at his chest with it's claws. A shower of blood hit the ground beside him and Snape's voice was discovered as he yelled in agony and terror. He knew he was about to be torn to pieces, the suffocating weight of the beast crushing his chest. He could feel the blood being forced out of by its weight, dripping warm on his neck. He could feel the presence of death, waiting to grasp him. The shaggy wolf raised it's head back and opened it's jaws wide. Snape closed his eyes and waited for death to come. There was a great tumble and crash and a good deal of noise and Severus was sure he had died. He sat shaking in a ball and only one thought pulsed in his mind, like a morose illuminated sign in his head. I never told her how I felt…

The fear seemed to drip away into overwhelming sorrow. Everything was still again, Snape couldn't hear a thing. A sudden sharp kick on the back jolted him back to life.

"SNAPE, MOVE!" Someone bellowed. Above his head. He felt a hand dragging him away and his legs burst into movement.

"I'm… alive…?" His own voice sounded pinched and pathetic to him.

"Get UP!" He was pulled to his feet. James Potter was staring him straight in the face. Unlike Snape's cringing and frightened expression, James' face was grim and very brave. Without a moment to waste, he yanked Snape's wrist forward and pulled him through the dark mustiness of the Shrieking Shack. Snape could feel the wolf behind them, getting ever closer. The door was in sight. The two boys ran with all their might, thinking of nothing but the rotting doorway that would lead them back to freedom. He could feel it's hot breath on his ankle, hear its teeth snapping. James flew through the door and shut it with force after Snape had cleared it. Behind the door the sounds of the struggling Werewolf were audible. It gave a piercing howl of rage.

Snape managed to choke,"Co-- Colloportus!" and the door sealed itself magically. The two boys looked at each other for a long moment and both slumped down in the darkness, panting and shivering.

"Severus…" James said with ragged breath. Snape looked up at him, feeling extremely vulnerable. Never before had James called him by his first name. James' expression was tearful and disquieted, which threw Snape for more of a loop than he could handle. He felt himself beginning to break down as well. "Severus, I'm sorry." Snape felt a hot tear slide down his cheek. "Sirius thought you'd get scared… a-and run back to the castle… He never expected you to find Lupin…" Snape was shocked. His voice was weak and shaking.

"That… thing was Lupin?" He sputtered, in totally disbelief. "Sirius-- he knew?" Snape was aghast. "I almost died, James. It nearly ripped me to pieces!" A thick silence hung between them. James looked horrified and violently ill. "Do you hate me that much? Do you really want me to be torn to shreds for you amusement!? IS THAT YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE!?" Snape practically shrieked. Two tears rolled down James' sickened expression. He shook his head furiously, his usual windswept hair dripping with rain water. Snape was finding it difficult to focus on anything. Pain coursed up and down his body. James crawled closer to Severus in the stagnant air. Filthy darkness hung like a poison on the air.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…." He voice seemed far away and faint. Severus' vision clouded and he closed his eyes, losing all awareness in his shaking body and agonized mind.