Shiinto no Saishuuheiki
Silent Weapon
By KillingMeTenderly
Reaching for the sun
He deals the sword as a meditation,
And those he kills never suspect,
He doesn't fight for the titles he wins,
He doesn't fight for the respect.
He deals the sword to find the answer,
The sacred theory of chance,
The hidden law of probable outcome,
The blows lead a dance.
I know that the fears are the swords of soldiers,
I know that the hearts are weapons of war,
I know that blood means money for this art.
But is that the shape of my heart?
He may play the best of killers,
He may lay the queen of fates,
He may conceal a king in his hand,
While the memory of it fades.
I know that the fears are the swords of soldiers,
I know that the hearts are weapons of war,
I know that blood means money for this art.
But is that the shape of my heart?
What if that's not the shape, the shape of my heart?
And if I told you that I loved you,
You'd maybe think there's something wrong,
I'm not a man of too many faces,
The mask I wear is one.
I know that the fears is the sword of soldiers,
I know that the hearts are weapons of war,
I know that blood mean money for this art.
But is that the shape of my heart?
That's not the shape of my heart…
…My heart beats. Again, again, again and again- never-ending pulse. My hearts beats, so I am alive. Am I alive? Can a broken heart beat? They say that we live to serve the Gods, that our destiny is written and that the fate controls our lives. This Sesshomaru do not believe in destiny. If there is such a thing, why is life so cruel? I do not believe in fate, because I do not want to believe that it is already decided that she will not love me. Does she love me?...
…She loves me not…
Her head hurt like hell. Not only that, but she was some- what hot and she couldn't remember what had happened. Oh and her head hurt!!!
"Ouch!" – That was the best that the young miko was able to say in the moment.
"Kagome, oh God I was so scared! What happened? Why did you lose consciousness? Is Inuyasha responsible somehow? I can always kill him you know…"- Sango started.
Kagome opened her eyes and saw her concerned friend. Fear was easily read in the demon- exterminator's face. Her hair was a bit messed, like, she had been up all night. Her eyes were red and the girl felt that the arm that was keeping her cold compress on her forehead was a trembling. She was lying in her sleeping- bag and more blankets, than she remembered bringing ever were on top of her. 'And I was wondering, why it was so hot. It's the middle of the summer, and I have at least twenty damn blankets on me!'
"Yes, Sango, I'm fine. The question is, how are you. You look like attacked from some kind of crazy mutated monkeys."- Said the miko, while sitting- "I think, my blood pressure fell, it happens sometimes. Nothing to worry about!"
At this point her mind decided to put two cents in and the memories from the previous night started popping in her head- "Wait a moment… I remember… so he is him… and she is her, I mean me, so that means that he and she, and I, but… I think, I think… I'm going to faint again…"
"Mmmm, Kagome- san, are you really sure that you are OK? You are mumbling strange things. Maybe we should stay here one more night here for you and Sango."- said Miroku.
"Hey, what do you mean "and Sango" I'm perfectly fine, thank you! Mind your own condition, it's not healthy to be so perverted!"-Shouted the hot- headed girl- "I hate you, stay away from me!!!"
Kagome watched in awe as her best friend shouted to the man she liked. Suddenly out of the blue Sango mumbled sadly: "Miroku, do you hate me? Miroku, I love you! Marry me today! Please, pretty please!"
The monk's eyes almost fell from his head. Shippo chocked his chocolate, Inuyasha managed to fall face first from the tree, he was sitting on and Kagome nearly lost consciousness again.
"S- S- Sango"- started Inuyasha- "What did you eat today?"- The hanyou was so stressed, that he forgot to refer her as "Bitch" or "Wench".
"Go away, Mutt! You want some of me? AH? Come and get it Inu- koro!!!"- shouted the exterminator, walking toward the scared half- breed.
"Ummm, sorry gays, I have to… have to… take a bath!!! Gotta go, gotta go now, see you later, Bye!!!"- and with those words the brave hanyou left the camp.
"Sango, can I have a word with you?"- Miroku asked carefully.
"NO, YOU CAN'T, YOU IDIOT, CAN'T YOU JUST STO…"- here Shippo decided to show that he now knew where the pressure point was.
"Thank, you Shippo, that was pretty close."- said Miroku-"Now she will be asleep at least for a few hours. Ja Ne, Kagome – san, I will go to tell Inuyasha, that he don't have to hide anymore. Shippo, come, lets leave the women alone."
With those words Kagome was left alone with unconscious Sango, a silver- covered book and her thoughts. 'So Sesshomaru… is in love with me,'- she started- 'can it be? It didn't sound like a joke, but if not, why me? He claimed to hate me! Me and everything about me, but…
"… Once I said, that humans are the dirt under my feet, but if that is so, why am I on my knees before her begging for her love… She is the most beautiful female alive… I tremble with the want to the thought of having her under me… My soul is trying to convince me that I still have a chance for her…But I know better, she will never look at me, like she looks at him, she will never love me…I can give her the world and so much more, but can she gives me her love… So I will let her be, and beg the Kamis for dreams to come. Dreams, where she would be mine, not my brother's… I am demon Lord, The Lord of the West. My name is Sesshomaru and I am in love with the miko Kagome, my Kagome..."
…Does he truly think these things about me? That I'm beautiful? That I deserve the world? That is… strange, and it makes me feel warm inside. I never knew that he can be like this? Do I want to read any longer? … I will read I need to know if it is true…"
Kagome sat and opened the book in her lap, just like the night before, inhaled few times and started reading again.
"My, Kagome- how beautiful it sounds… will she ever let me call her that. I do not believe that the answer will be to my liking. Only if this Seshomaru had the chance to tell her his feelings…What would I tell her if I was to fade away? To tell her something, that will make her remember me in her heart? Will I ask her the questions that are burning me on the inside?"
'Let see whwt he wish to tell me'
"Maybe my love scares you or maybe you just do not understand. Do you not see that you are slowly and tenderly killing me? Was it you that I have touched or maybe I actually have not? Or maybe it was all a dream, a whiff of your scent? Kiss me with velvet lips- warmer, sweeter than honey, give me tender poison, but not embraces from ice. I want to run away with you, will you run away with me? Every time you are hiding- will you stay now? Who broke your wings and pushed you from the skies? Please, let me love you tonight…
'Oh…'
"Would you believe me, if I was to tell you, that I love you? That I live to think of you? That I heave become addicted to your scent and like a drug fiend I come again and again? That I simply cannot live without you?
Would you step away if you knew that I have watched you from the shadows many times? Keeping you safe… If you knew, that I fell in love with you from he first time I have seen you?
Would you think that I am mad..."
'No, I don't'
"… Because I am mad, my love, I can not put it any other way…
'Ah? He refers him self as crazy?'
"Do you want me to tell you a good night story? I will tell you how I understand, what your name means. I was sitting, thinking of you. There were many times I had wondered what is the meaning of "Kagome". Woven-bamboo pattern, do not suet you. Then it was when I heart Rin singing:
"Kagome, Kagome,
When will the bird inside the cage come out.
On the evening, on the dawn,
The crane and the turtle have slipped.
Who is the one behind you?"
I asked her for the song and she eagerly told me that this was a game that she learned to play, with the village children, before her parents have died. Kagome- a child's game- how suitable. It is ideal, with her pure heart and untamed soul. It was then that she made Jaken to spin all day, and guess if she, I or Ah Un was behind him."
'He have thought of my name, that's sweet…'
"Is there a way my love, to make you hear my words? To believe that you will ever feel something for me is, like reaching for the sun- one can look at you from afar, but never hold you in his hands. But I will stare at you until my eyes hurt, reach to you until me wings melt.
My Kagome, there are blue flower were I live. They are all with six petals. Every time I pick a petal I hope, that all the laws of theory will change and with the sixth I will be able to say- "She loves me", but alas every last petal makes me remember, that you love me not…
Can my voice reach you, Beloved? Can you hear my words?
"She loves me,
She loves me not,
She loves me,
She loves me not,
She loves me,
She loves me not…"
…You may never love me, Dearest, but remember, that I love you...
…Goodnight, my love"
Kagome closed the diary and lay down on her sleeping- bag, hugging the book close. "Goodnight, Sesshomaru…my friend…" she whispered.
Unknown to her the West wind picked her words and bring them to a meadow full of blue flowers. There a white- clad figure rose his head and unsurely answered-
"Kagome?"
To Be Continued…
Hey, KillingMeTenderly' s here. Today I experienced my first wirers block- ya know what? It sucks!!!
I'm not sure how it came, so pls tell me what do you think. Oh and BTW, can somebody guess what had happened with Sango? Let me know, what do you think. I want to thank very much to all of my readers and especially to the people that reviewed ( orcid, Koishii, Shigure- chan, Wood, Felicia, Cochrann, Sesshoumaru's Friend, Sesshy's angel and slmcandle.) Oh yes, slmcandle, I would really love if you become my beta reader, so if you want emile me and I'll send you the next chappy, K?
So R and R, I think I'll update tomorrow, or the day after,
Love you, KillingMeTenderly
P.S: I haven't written the song in the start. I's Sting's, I just changeged most of the text, so that it can make U think of Sesshy. Don't you think that it now reminds of him?