Madness

Take heed, dear heart,
Once apart, she can touch nor me, nor you.
Dressed as one,
A wolf will
betray a lamb.

Lead astray the gazers,
The razors on your seducing skin,
In the meadow of sinful thoughts,
Every blue flower is
perfect.

To paradise, with pleasure haunted by fear…

A sin for him,
Desire within,
A burning veil,
For the bride too dear for
him.
A sin for him,
Desire within,
Fall in love with your deep, dark sin.

I am The Fallen.
You are what my sins enclose.
Lust is
not as creative,
As it is discovery.

To paradise, with pleasure haunted by fear…
A sin for him...

Will I fight the demons, the demons in me? Will I save her from the sinner, the sinner under my skin? My nature is calling to me to take her, can I protect her from my self? I the Devil, sleep with angel, even only in my dreams. Making love to my one- burning angel wings to dust. This is me. A monster. Siinto no Saisuuheiki. A demon. Killing
perfection. Destroyer of the circle of the life. Sesshomaru. This is her. An angel. Asagi Hana. A miko. Bird trapped in cage. Kagome.
My broken heart, lost in the dark, can you stop loving her, for she hates us... No... For she loves us not... No… For she have feelings for my brother...

…No I still want her. Still love her. My Fallen, where are you now?
I just wanted you to know that I will always care for you…

"Kagome!"

Name… her name.

"Kagome!!!"

The young miko lifted her foggy head and moaned. Suddenly a memories came into her head. Her reading Sesshomaru's diary, running and then crying. Her feet was hurting, because of the sprinting. Her voice, because of the screaming. Her eyes, because of the tears. Her heart… because of the pain of a…

…of a friend.

Friend? Was that it. He loved her. She loved Inuyasha… ? Did she? Did she love the one that hurt her so many times? Did she choose the one that saw her as his ex- love, to the one that saw her only as Kagome.

"Kagomeeeeeeee!"

She… she didn't love Inuyasha anymore. The heartache was gone. No more pain when she thought of him and Kikyou together…Only hope, that he would be happy in life. He deserved it.
Her friend. Her best friend- Inuyasha. Stubborn, rude and possessive. Yep, now looking at the past she could smile at their childish behavior. It felt beautiful, like, every care in the world has been lifted from her shoulders.

"KAGOME!!!"

"Coming!!!"- the miko shouted and hurried toward her pals. She was going to ask Sango a specific question. One that was going to bring much blushing and maybe a very happy monk, if the answer was
"yes".

"Sooooooooo, Sango,"-
started Kagome smugly-"have you and Miroku, have done, you know- something… interesting?"

The exterminator blushed, and the miko was sure that it wasn't from the hot water of the spring they were occupating.

"Kagome-chan! What was that? Do you believe that me and the perverted monk have done anything together? He is a hentai, that wish just for two things: To touch my ass and ask women if they want to bare his heir. It's not the smartest thing, that you have…"

Yep! Mood- swings again. Every symptom was there. It was time for Kagome Higurashi to make her entrance.

"I- think- you- are- with- Miroku's- kid." OK, that grabbed Sango's attention- "What do you mean?"

"Well, Sango, you do everything that a pregnant woman should do. So answer me, really, have you and Miroku, you know… made love?"

Awkward silence… and then…. Sango slowly nodded. Although Kagome has expected to hear "yes", it didn't stop her from gawking, like a idiot. Then Sango broke the silence.

"Well, if you want to know it was about a month before. We were separated, and well, things happen. I am eighteen now, Kagome, in a world were women marry at fourteen. I couldn't stop my self and he too is a man with his needs. He… he was very gentle and he told me that once Naraku is dead we will marry and have children."

"So, are you going to tell him?"- asked Kagome blushing even harder than her friend.

"No!"- seeing her soul- sister's confused look, she hurriedly continued- "Not before I'm sure!"

"Oh yeach, I understand."- smiled Kagome.

"So"- grinned the exterminator, watching as the woman from the future climb out of the spring- "How are the things between
you and Inuyasha?"

"Uh?" –Kagome started- "I'm over him… and maybe you can say, that I have a new one on my mind…"

"What? Who?"- shouted Sango to the retrieving form of Kagome.

"Not now, but maybe soon I'll tell you. I just need to check something…"- with the last more to herself Kagome left
her best friends to wonder who had captured the young miko's eye.

Determined to keep reading, Kagome opened the diary, only to gasp. There wasn't more, than a half page left. She looked around the camp to make sure she was alone. Only Shippo was in the camp, asleep from boredom, munching something in his dream, maybe a bar of chocolate. The young miko sat and found the page she was reading- the last
page.

" Everything goes away and in the end it doesn't even mater. I keep walking forward, because I can not go back and I can not find a way to change what has been. I will embrace the wound, that will never heal, I will live with the pain of the unrequited love. Watching as decades go by one, after another.

Being born to die. Living for the ultimate hope. Killer or savior, demon or human, dead or alive. It only concerns the Gods. I was there. This was me. I was existing. But I was not living. I was then simply an immortal, that is utterly dead. Now is different. Now is Now. I live for the moment. I try to catch every piece of life. Of her life.

I live for her. I will fight for her. I will be there for her. I will die for her. Most of all I will live for her. Catching every bit of life. Smiling at her happiness. Hurting from her wounds. Feeling her pups as mine. Feeling her life stir threw my veins.

I wish
there was a way to tell her this. My love. My grief. My pain and hopes…

I wish to hold her close, never letting go, never sleeping…

I wish that she will not reject me if I was to tell her this…

I wish I was the one that protects her…

I wish…

I wish…

I
wish…

I wish for her love…

She loves me…"

That was the was word on the page. Kagome turned it only to see as a blue petal fall from it… and the words:

"She loves me not…"

The miko turned page after page only to be hunt from this mantra and one petal between each page, with the colour of the sky.

"She loves me,

She loves me not,

She loves me,

She loves me not…"

Like this to the end where on the last page was a drawing. Kagome recognized her self, dressed in beautiful kimono, her hair swirled from invisible wind. There was also a herbarium flower. Blue with six petals. Under the picture was the end of the silver- covered book.

"She loves me not…

… alas, she will never see me as something else save a monster…

…Siinto no Saisuuheiki."

" Madness…"- whispered Kagome not surely knowing who was insane- he or she.

There a miles away a demon Lord was walking, with his back to the setting sun, his thoughts only on finding one person. Her…

To Be Continued…