Episode Three: The Two Wondering Seedlings
-POP-
Pansy Apparated to Diagon Alley and marched like a soldier ready for battle down the cobbled streets.
Now she'd find the truth.
"Get out of my way!" She yelled at passers by, and shoved people who got within a centimetres distance to her out of her path.
Then she stopped. That bright, flamboyant sign hanging above the shop window. Parkinson narrowed her eyes and her lips formed one long, thin line.
"The Weasely's." She growled demonically under her breath, and golden bell jingled above her head as she walked on into the shop.
"Hello boys," A perky grin walked its way amongst her lips, and her eyes twinkled with false delight. Her fingers curled themselves in mock greeting. "fancy helping out an old school friend?"
>>>>
"This," Angelina rummaged through Montague's walk-in wardrobe and tried to fish out something hard enough to break glass with "is fucking ridiculous!" She picked up a near by shoe and threw it forcefully over to the bedroom window. The shoe hit the glass surface, and was soon hurtled back in her direction. Quickly, Angelina ducked out of the way and Montague's shoe zoomed over her head.
"For heaven's sakes!" She screamed in frustration.
Angelina had tried the downstairs door only seconds after Montague had left, but after minutes of cursing and banging her fists against it, she found it wasn't going to open. Secondly her fervent thoughts told her to try the windows, but she got no where with that. Anytime a finger went to touch the window latch, she was welcomed with an electric shock. Thirdly she tried breaking windows instead of daintily opening them, but we all know where that got her.
Taking a deep breath, Angelina covered her face with her hands and attempted to calm herself.
That's when it happened.
"Shit! What the-" A stinging sensation from above her ankle dragged Angelina out of her thoughts. She glanced down to her ankle and her eyes became saucers.
Screaming for the world to hear she dashed out of Montague's bedroom and ran around the house, her arms waving madly in the air as she tried to escape the demonic creature.
Sicily followed quickly on behind her.
>>>>
Montague took another swig of his drink before slamming it down on the table and readying himself for the walk home. He wouldn't Apparate because that only meant he'd get there faster. No, instead he decided he'd walk, walk the longest route he knew.
As he got up and waved goodbye to Smithy the barman, a tall, leggy red head hopped off of her stool and ambled over to him, her hips swinging so drastically from side to side he wondered how she hadn't broken a bone yet.
Montague ignored her and continued to make his way out of the bar. He got as far as the street corner when he heard her running up behind him. Sighing he turned to her and shook his head. "Not now Kyla, I'm not in the mood."
The truth was, he was in the mood. Actually he was more in the mood than he'd ever been in his life, he just didn't want it with the silicon princess, her mother of course being the queen.
"Oh pure Montague, ur ye sure abit 'at?" Kyla's voice was swimming in a Scottish accent, her lids seductively batting her emerald eyes. She'd been after Montague ever since he brought his grand cottage, located in the forested hills of Aberdeen. Her mother had even tried once or twice herself. They were both failures, but Kyla always knew she had more of a change. Who wouldn't want one with this dashing, rich young man? He was gorgeous! Tall, broad shouldered, dark hair and dark eyes, with a face shrouded in mystery. Kyla McQuilkin always dreamed of the day she would become a Montague.
Montague rolled his eyes. "I mean it Kyla, I'm not in the mood." He attempted to walk away but she stepped in front of him, pouting like a lost puppy.
"Ye cooldn't e'en say awrite, Montague? Hoo lang hae we knoon each other? Ye cooldn't e'en invite me home? I'm sure Ah cood cheer ye up."
She was wearing the shortest skirt he'd ever seen; a pleated black one that when blown by the wind revealed a good amount of her secrets. At her legs she was wearing thin red tights and knee high black boots. For a top she wore a tight sleeveless checked shirt that she'd tied up at the front to reveal her belly piercing and pale stomach. Any other man that was walking past on the street right then would have had the time of his life, but not Montague. He was a flat as a popped balloon.
But then he thought to himself, what the hell? He'd been wanting this for over two days now, and still hadn't had any. TWO DAYS! It was getting beyond ridiculous. And here Kyla was, handing it over to him on a dinner plate; waiting for him to take it. So why shouldn't he? It wasn't like she was ugly. Sure enough she'd have to work really hard for at least the first half hour to blow back up his balloon, but if he just got himself pissed out of his brains he was sure he could just pretend she was a certain Johnson. It wouldn't be so degrading then.
Quickly he scanned the area to make sure no one was listening. "Follow me," He whispered, then added briefly. "but stay at least ten paces behind me, I don't want people to know I'm socializing with you."
Kyla nodded. "I tryst Montague, ye won't regrit thes."
>>>>
Fred looked over at George and George looked over at Fred. Matthew buried his face in his hands and continuously mumbled to himself like a mad man. He hadn't yet acknowledged Pansy's arrival.
"Old friend?" George rose an eyebrow in question. "I think we could say we were anything but that, Pansy."
She waved off his remark as if it was a piece of dust about to make her sneeze. "Now really Fred-"
"I'm George-"
"Who cares!" Fred and George both regarded her with weary glances, while Pansy took a breath and that fake smile assembled itself back onto her lips. "I'm mean to say, what does it matter? You can't judge me on how I was back in school now can you? It wouldn't be just, people change." She ignored Fred's snort and carried on. "I'm here for Johnson, care to tell me where she might be?"
At this Matthew jumped up from his chair, knocking it back in a haste. "Do you know where she is?"
Pansy rolled her eyes. "If I did, why would I be here now?"
Matthew nodded his head in a sad acknowledgement and pulled back his chair to sit on it. "Fair enough." He sighed and went back to talking to himself.
It was Fred's turn to speak up next. "She's gone away to her family for a while." George gave Fred a questioning glance and Matthew lifted his head. Pansy simply snarled.
"I thought you said you didn't know where she was?" Inquired Matthew.
"Your lying!" Pansy spat. "What would make her run off to her family in such a haste? I was at her house only last night!"
Matthew turned to Pansy. "You were at my house?"
Pansy looked down at him as if he was a being worse than pathetic. As if he wasn't worthy of being in the same room in which she was forced to breath. "Why would it be your house, fool? I wasn't anywhere near your home."
"Angelina is my fiancée!" He yelled. "If you were at her house then you were at mine!"
"If you were at her house then you were at mine." Fred mocked childishly under his breath, and George elbowed him in the ribs. "Ouch!"
"Shut it Fred. At least wait till their gone."
A slow, malicious smile assembled itself onto Pansy's lips.
>>>>>
"Mmm, Montague," Kyla wrapped her arms around Montague's waist and purred into his back, while he ruffled in his pockets for the front door keys "I'm tellin' ye yoo've gart th' reit choice, I'll gie ye th' time ay yer life."
"You better hope so." Montague fished out his keys and unlocked the door, ushering Kyla inside before anyone walking by noticed her presence.
Kyla's expression dropped in awe as she looked about her surroundings. Montague's cottage was anything she'd ever dreamt of! Beautiful rich furniture, flush carpet--clean! She'd never seen anything like it. She'd have the regular conversations with her mother about what it must be like to inhabit the Montague Cottage in the rich countryside of Aberdeen. Being a city girl herself didn't mean she hadn't been up to the countryside once or twice, she usual went to have a drink in the Hags Head and have a chat with locals, but she never really had much else to do in that rural part of Aberdeen. Now she hoped Montague would give her something she'd regularly come back for.
Kyla looked horribly out of place in Montague's cottage, but this never dampened her enthusiasm. "Ye hae a bonnie home." She complimented, flashing him one of her cutest smiles.
Montague only waved her off, his ears pricking up as he wondered to himself why he couldn't here a sound. Why wasn't Angelina stamping about the house shouting all the curses under the stars? He straightened up a little and made his way towards the stairs. Before he took the first step he pointed Kyla in the direction on the downstairs bathroom. "Go get ready in there." He ordered, and marched up the stairs, his jaws clenched.
"Aye!" Kyla shouted to his retreating form, and skipped merrily into the bathroom.
Montague got up to the first landing and found his room an absolute mess. It was expected of a woman like Angelina to get revenge on him through trashing the place. He shrugged and closed the door behind him, checking every room on that landing before marching up to the next.
That's when he heard it.
"Piss off you fucking imp! Shoo! Shoo! Get away from me or I swear I'll chop you in half and serve you up in a some back street restaurant! Move!"
Montague pushed the door open and inspected the scene before him. Angelina was scrambled a top a wardrobe in one of his several spare rooms, one of his shoes--one of his favourite--brandished dangerously in her hand as she pressed herself up against the wall, trying her hardest not to fall off the wobbling wardrobe and plummet into the open mouth of his pet snake, Sicily.
When she saw him--for once--her eyes danced in delight. "Help!" She breathed, whispering as if the snake wouldn't hear her. "Montague, get that thing away from me!"
Montague shook his head and leaned casually against the door frame. "And what do I get in return?" He teased, playfully wiggling his eyebrows.
Angelina narrowed her eyes dangerously, she might have pounced if there wasn't a snake hissing some feet below her. "I'll give you a fucking kick up the ass!"
Montague shrugged and rolled his eyes, sighing as if she'd just chosen to end her life instead of sleep with him. "Suit yourself. I have an appointment you've forcefully made me have to see to." He turned around and was about to leave when two things happened.
Angelina yelled; something he thought sounded like: "No don't leave me here!" Though he wasn't quite sure, then there was the crash, and Sicily--in a frantic change to get away--slithered her way over to her master and climbed up his leg, wrapping herself protectively around his neck.
He jumped and spun around. Before him, the wardrobe Angelina had been huddled on was dropped and smashed, and Angelina was sprawled on the other side of the room, apparently having made a jump to safety before the wardrobe hit the ground.
"Now how I am supposed to get to my magical land of Turkish Delight!" Montague shouted, though couldn't help but smirk at his own retort.
Angelina rolled over on the ground, sitting up she rubbed groggily on the back of her neck. "I hate you Montague, I really fucking hate you."
"Yeah but you love me when I'm giving you all I've got." He snorted, and Angelina gave him the finger.
That's when Kyla waltzed up the stairs, dressed in nothing but her underwear and a towel wrapped around her waist. She looked over at Montague, stopping in the hallway and placing her hands on her hips. "Is everythin' alright? " She smiled. "Ah heard th' bang frae downstairs an' thooght Ah mit check up oan ye."
Montague's eyes twinkled. "No, everything's alright." He answered with a reassuring smile. "But I think I should introduce you to your rival." Kyla gazed at him in question and he indicated to Angelina on the other side of the room. "This my darling, is Angelina, Angelina this is Kyla." Both woman looked at on another curiously, and not before long the fires were thrown.
Angelina was the first to start. "Oh Montague," she cackled evilly to herself, doubled over in laugher "don't tell me this is a prostitute?" Walking a little closer,--though not too close as she didn't feel like disturbing the snake--she folded her arms and stood cockily in the middle of the room. "If you really wanted me that bad, why didn't you just say so?"
Kyla practically fumed from her corner by the door. "Fa ye callin' a huir ye wee slag!"
Montague sniggered and Angelina's eye's drew in question. "Run that by me again--"
"Yoo heard whit Ah said!" Kyla yelled. "Whit ur ye daein' haur anyway? Yoo're nae wanted! Gie it afair Ah flin' ye it! Montague speart me haur, nae ye! Gang back tae wherever ye cam frae ye wee causey rat!"
Montague winced for effect, but Angelina still didn't get it. "Would you PLEASE speak English?" She turned to Montague in a rush of fury. "What did she say to me?" She demanded an answer but Montague only shrugged. He liked what he was seeing, it was the little bit of entertainment he'd had in, oh let me see--TWO DAYS!
When he didn't answer her Angelina turned back to Kyla. She herself was suddenly jealous. Jealous of the fact that Montague was about to willing sleep with another woman, and even worse, was letting her curse her in some other language. Little did Angelina know Kyla was only speaking the native dialect, but then again, they always said Gryffindors were the second dumbest after Hufflepuff.
"Get out!" Angelina shrilled. "Get out of my house!"
Montague looked stunned. "Your house?"
"It's my house when I'm being forced to live in it." She spat.
"Who dae ye hink yer talkin' tae?"
"Oh save it Keisha."
"My names KYLA!"
"Who gives a flying fuck?"
"LADIES!" Montague stepped in between Kyla and Angelina, his hands raised in gesture for them to be quiet. Then he laughed. "Can't we all just get along and have threesome?"
Angelina practically boiled. "MONTAGUE!"
He faked a sighed. "Fine, fine. Whatever my pretty." He turned to Kyla and shooed her away as if she was some breed of dog. "Get out." He ordered simply.
Kyla's eyes widened in fury. "WHAT?"
"You heard me, I said get out. You're no longer needed. Sorry for the disappointment, I'll drop five pounds by you the next time we bump into one another." He smiled sweetly.
"Yoo've got tae be kiddin' me! Yoo'd raither hae 'er than me?"
Montague shrugged. "Any day."
Kyla pointed an accusing finger in his direction, prodding it as hard as she could into his chest. "I'll hae th' McQuilkin clan efter ye! Ye mark mah words!"
Then she turned and left. Five minutes later the downstairs door was slammed shut, and neither Angelina nor Montague had moved. Angelina stood in the same spot, her foot tapping angrily against the floor and her arms still crossed. Montague simply stood and watched her, that cocky grin assembled onto his features.
It was Angelina who was the first to break the silence. "Was you really going to sleep with her?" She asked, her mouth set into a frown.
Montague shrugged. "Maybe."
She issued a disgusted noise from the back of her throat. "You're a fucking ass whole then."
He laughed. "And why's that?"
"Because you are." She shrugged.
Montague nodded in acceptance. "Fair enough, wanna get pissing drunk and give me the best night of my life?"
>>>>>
Angelina had said no at first. Why would she say yes? She was fed up and thriving with jealously. She hated that she was, but didn't like that fact that Montague was about to replace her with another woman. No matter how much she stressed that she hated him, he was still her secret sex God and no one else's. End of story. So when Montague started pouring out the drinks, things started getting a little steamy. Clothes were ripped off, and they bit and scratched one another in a haste to make it to the bedroom. Both drunk out of their minds.
It was when things really started to get into play, that Angelina remembered something vital. Something she always did, even before having sex with her fiancé. She felt she didn't want his baby yet.
"The contraception charm." She slurred, her eyes focused on four different Montague's.
"The what?" Montague couldn't pull himself away from her neck, his hands roaming up and down between her legs. She giggled when he hit a certain spot.
"The contraception charm." She said again.
Montague moaned, he was a little dizzy. "Oh that, do you remember what it is?"
She chortled as he nibbled hungrily on her ear. "No."
"Then it's a good thing I have one of these Muggle things." Quickly he reached into his back pocket and reluctantly leaned up. "Here, let me put it on."
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Angelina woke up a few hours later, her head felt grave and her body stiff and sore. She turned on her back and watched as Montague slept by her side, the blankets carelessly thrown over his body. Her eyes scanned the tip of the room and roamed about the clothes on the floor.
That's when she saw it. Lying flat beside the bed, dead and used. She closed her eyes again, thinking that she might get in a few more hours sleep when something passed through her thoughts and they shot back open.
"Oh my God. . ."
Angelina screamed and Montague jumped quickly out of his sleep. She jumped out of the bed in a panic, the sheets hastily wrapped around her body as she made weird gestures towards the condom, expecting Montague to understand when his eyes weren't even in proper focus yet.
"What are you on, woman?" He groaned but she only continued to scream. Pulling on her hair and jumping about the room in a hysterical state.
"Fucking hell, would you shut up?"
"You don't understand!" Angelina yelled, pointing towards the used condom, her eyes wide with panic.
"What don't I understand?" Montague moaned, turning to her slowly enough so as not to hurt his head.
Angelina pointed towards the condom then to her stomach. Condom. Stomach. Condom. Stomach. Condom. Stomach. She attempted to wordlessly explain.
"Just say it before I strangle you for making me dizzy!"
"Montague!" She wailed so loudly the birds in nearby flew away in a haste. "IT'S SPLIT!" She couldn't keep herself calm. "YOU SPLIT THE FUCKING CONDOM!"
For all those who aren't familiar with the Scottish dialect, here are the translations (I had to use a translator for those myself):
Kyla lines:
1."Oh pure Montague, ur ye sure abit 'at?"
"Oh really Montague, are you sure about that?"
2."Ye cooldn't e'en say awrite, Montague? Hoo lang hae we knoon each other? Ye cooldn't e'en invite me home? I'm sure Ah cood cheer ye up."
"You couldn't even say hello, Montague? How long have we known each other? You couldn't even invite me home? I'm sure I could cheer you up."
3."I tryst Montague, ye won't regrit thes."
"I promise Montague, you won't regret this."
4. "Mmm Montague,#
"Mmm Montague, I'm telling you you've made the right choice, I'll give you the time of your life."
5. "Ye hae a bonnie home."
"You have a beautiful home."
6. "Is everythin' alright?"
"Is everything alright?"
7."Ah heard th' bang frae downstairs an' thooght Ah micht check up oan ye."
"I heard the bang from downstairs and thought I might check up on you."
8. "Fa ye callin' a huir ye wee slag!"
"Who are you calling a prostitute you little slag!"
9."Yoo heard whit Ah said! Whit ur ye daein' haur anyway? Yoo're nae wanted! Gie it afair Ah flin' ye it! Montague speart me haur, nae ye! Gang back tae wherever ye cam frae ye wee causey rat!"
"You heard what I said! What are you doing here anyway? You're not wanted! Get out before I throw you out! Montague asked me here, not you! Go back to wherever you came from you little street rat!"
10. "Who dae ye hink yer talkin' tae?"
"Who do you think your talking to?"
11. "Yoo've got tae be kiddin' me! Yoo'd raither hae 'er than me?"
"You've got to be kidding me! You'd rather have her than me?"
12. "I'll hae th' McQuilkin clan efter ye! Ye mark mah words!"
"I'll have the McQuilkin clan after you! You mark my words!"