Shiinto no Saishuuheiki

Silent Weapon

By KillingMeTenderly

Always

She is smiling like heaven is down on earth
Sun is shining so bright on her
And all her wishes have finally come true
And her heart is weeping.
This happiness is killing her.

So hard she's trying
But her heart won't turn to stone... oh no
She keeps on crying
But I won't leave her alone
She'll never be alone.

She'll be right here in my arms
So in Love
She'll be right here in these arms
She can't let go.

His heart hurt, his soul hurt. His gaze traveled over her sleeping form. Beautiful, so beautiful. So close, so far. Was she his, only in his mind? The answer of this question was lying in her delicate hand, so peacefully, that he almost missed it. This book, the book he wrote. He knew every word by heart. He had bared himself in front of the blank pages seeking relieve from this emotions that were hunting him. And she had read it. Sharp pang pulled at his tortured heart. She was too kind, so kind that she had tried to act as if she liked him, not to break his soul. His head fell down. She had given him hope, false hope, but none less, that she berried some feelings for him. He did not wish for her pity, he wanted her love. But kindness was all he got. How could he have been so blind? How was he able, even for a moment, to believe that this goddess sleeping beside him was able to harbor feelings for a monster like him… He wasn't angry with her, not even a bit. But now he hated himself. He had forced this kiss upon her, and she had kissed him back, not to scatter his illusions. He hated himself for believing, that she could love him, he was going to kill that hope, burry it deep inside himself, only living with the admiration he held for her, but as they said…

… Hope died last…

Cold… She was so cold…

The warmth she felt beside her, was now gone. There was only the rough ground, she was lying on and the singing of the empty wind, in the limbs of the tree, that knew no time.

Empty memories were floating in her head. Empty was every word she had ever said.

Kagome shook her head, moaning, from the feelings that were seemingly not hers. The young woman shot her head up, just to be met by the strangest picture, she had ever seen in her life.

There was standing he. Few steps away from her and still he seemed unworldly, too far away to reach. Silver hair was spilled on the wind, bangs hiding two golden eyes, brighter than the stars. His white clothes were chaotically scattered by the breeze, his head turned upwards, in greeting of the rising sun. Sesshoumaru's marble skin was painted in the warm colors of the sunrise. His legs were bent; his right one a bit higher than the left and on his knee was laying his hand, his only hand. Between the elegant white fingers was resting a single flower, herbarium, that looked strangely familiar to the miko. Blue, with six petals it seemed so alien in the warmly painted picture. The red and white tunes were contrasting with the sky painted plant and the warmth of the sun wasn't able to hide the loneliness that was coming from the figure. Sad, so sad was the aura filling the place, tickling her miko senses, such… emptiness she hadn't felt… ever. Pain, regret, sorrow were coming on waves from the demon, and despite to the inner torture he was still holding the flower delicately, tenderly, as if afraid, that it would break, fade away with the wind and time. His fingers were lightly trailing the petals, the six petals that meant a life without love. As he had said the last one always was the "Love me not…" one.

His mental pain was incredibly strong, assumed Kagome, so powerful; that it made her have the same feelings as him. Sesshoumaru's outer peace was contrasting with his inner suffering making his image surreal to the young priestess, the sorrow in his aura so thick that she was able to feel it in the air. Deep, but ice- cold voice broke her thoughts.

"You are awake."- There was no question in his voice, no waver; he was just pointing a fact, as if talking about the sun setting to West.

Kagome shivered, not form the coldness in the air, but the coldness in his tune. What had happened while she was asleep? Had she done something to deserve this kind of treatment? He had been so passionate last night, when he held her, when he kissed her, and now… now he was his old self again. Cold. Uncaring. Unreachable. Not the Sesshoumaru, she had held, not the one she had kissed, not the one she had talked to, not the one she had read in the diary, not the one she had grown to…

…Like…

…Love…?

Her gaze wavered, eyes full of tears. Was the diary just a joke? Or a trap? Had she fallen in love with a person that was not?

Fallen in love…

The night was dying and a new day was being born. But this day was not bringing hope and happiness, only sorrow. A crystal tear ran down a pale face and a white figure, marble shadow in the dim light, shifted.

"Are you angry with me?"- came a trembling question from the small figure sitting on the cold ground.

Silence only came from the white shadow. The female shifted closer to him.

"Please, tell me, what I have done."- The trembling woman asked.

Silence was her answer.

"You hate me, don't you?"- Pain laced her voice.

"I do not."- She almost jumped from the answer.

The white- clad male turned his face from the sunrise to her.

"I am not angry with you and right now I hate only myself."- One blue petal was ripped away by the West wind. The male looked at it and cringed as if it pained him physically to see the flower harmed, as if it meant something more than just a plant. 'Loves me'.-The sun chanted.

"Then why? Your aura… and you won't talk to me… are you angry… is it… cold, so cold… stop it…"- She shivered. The emptiness in the air was becoming overwhelming, making her small figure shudder. Another petal was blown by the wind, making its way toward the rising sun. 'Loves me not'. Whispered the dying stars.

"You are too kind."- Was the only response- "Someday this kindness will kill you". Another tear, another petal and another dream 'Loves me'.- Pleaded the cold ground.

"What are you talking about?"- She asked. A petal. 'Loves me not'- moaned the wind.

"There was no need to act as if you feel something for me."- His gaze didn't left the rising sun- "Still, I wish to thank you. What I felt, what you gave me, even if it was illusion, even if it was from pity toward me, everything was beautiful. Beautiful while it lasted. So don't cry I do not hate you"- Yet another petal was stolen by the wind. 'Loves me'- "What I lie. Loves me not."- He thought.

"What do you mean? I haven't "acted". All I did was all I wanted to do; all words I said were coming from my heart!"- She almost shouted. 'Loves me.'- whispered the wind sadly again. A petal and more tears spilled. His eyes met hers. The only hand reached, as if trying to wipe the droplets from her face, but then it fell limply by the body, flower still in it.

The white figure rose, gaze set to the sun. The smaller figure tried to stay to, but trembled and fell to her knees, the strong demon aura making it hard for her to move.

"I will be back soon,"- said the male- "but do now wait for me. As the time is right I will find you. So until then farewell… Miko."

The demon start taking wide steps to the further end of the clearing. "Don't go."- A simple plea came from the woman.

"I can not. I pains me to see you."- He answered as simply.

No more words were said. Tears fell, steps were made, the sun was rising. A demon turned back one was time, a girl rose her head, two lonely pair of eyes mer. Amber and sapphire met, telling fairytales of sorrow and love. The man turned yet again and broke in the tree line.

The last, sixth petal was torn mercilessly from the once blue flower. The wind embraced it hungrily as a man yearning for his beloved and twisted it in chaotic dance over the lands of Japan.

'Loves me not.'- Whispered the rising sun.

'Loves me not.'- Sang the wind in the in the leaves of the God Tree.

Was it raining? The Demon word felt warm liquid running down his face. Salt hit sensitive nose.

'Loves me not'- Pleaded the dieing stars.

It was not rain… But he had never… Not when his father bring that wench home… Not when his mother has died… Not when his own brother has told him he hated him… Why now?

'Loves me not'- Screamed the cold ground.

The lonesome tear fell from his face and disappeared forever. The only sing that Shiinto no Saishuuheiki had a heart. Lord Sesshoumaru of the West for first time in his life felt such pain that he wanted to die, to kill everything in front his eyes. And that was what he was going to do he decided.

"Loves me not"- Quietly finished the Demon Lord.

The figure didn't even stop as he heard the scream. The same word, that she said when she met him, she shouted now. A name. His name.

"Sesshoumaru!!!"

And the forest went deaf again, deaf as the Lord walking through it. He didn't want to turn back and know that she felt only pity for him. Nothing else… No love… And before he let his inner demon to take full control over him words ripped from his heart.

"But no matter what…'- The wind chanted.

"…I will love you…"- The rising sun keened.

"…Always…"- The Lord whispered.

To be continued…

Hey everybody,

First of all I' soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for not updating for so long, there just wasn't way to do so. I was able to check my account today for first time in about month and a half. I want to thank you for the reviews and say a big "THANKS!!!'' to everyone that is not too annoyed with me to read the new chapter. I really promise I'll try to update sooner.

Second, I'm just as soooooooooooooooooooooo sorry, that the chapter is so… drama… I couldn't avoid it, but it won't be so angsty in the next one. And not that short.

As I'm here the next time you will find out:

Kagome finally clearing her feelings

Sesshoumaru 'beating' some steam out.

Explanations on strange questions as "How the heck are Kagome and Kikyou both alive?"

BIG talk between Sesshoumaru and Kagome.

Well I hope you'll rate and review!!! Please, pretty please, pretty please with cherry on the top?

Well love U all,

Finally online KillingMeTenderly