Shiinto no Saishuuheiki
Silent Weapon
By KillingMeTenderly
Shades Of Grey
So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
So I never want to leave you and the memories for us to see,
I beg don't leave me…
I found you here, now please just stay for a while,
I can move on with you around.
I hand you my immortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done,
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you.
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost,
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over.
Trails in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here,
Please tell me what we have is real.
Silence, you lost me, no chance for one more day,
I stand here alone falling away from you, no chance to get back home…
To forgive…
To forget…
Or just to regret…?
To forgive her, but why when she had done everything, just to help him. To mend his broken heart, picking the peaces of the scattered dream. Giving him an unimaginable illusion, too real to be a dream. To forgive her for what? Her kindness? Or her unworldly love fore every creature living? To forgive her for giving him the best few days of his immortal live?
No. He was the one, that should bed for forgiveness, for not answering to her plea to stay. For not explaining why had he gone away. And most of all for that pain- laced scream that he had thorn from her sweet lips, the unforgettable scent of tears that followed it, searing through the deadly- quiet forest.
To forget. He couldn't. Many times he had tried to stop the thoughts of her invading his head. To erase the memory of her icy eyes from his consciousness. He couldn't forget her. So what if she was never going to be his? So what if she was never going to love him? So what?
He couldn't forget.
He didn't want to.
He was still going to be hers. He was going to love for both of them. This dream of his. It had started from the dust, and in the dust it had ended. This dream. This illusion.
This was his reality.
His reason to live.
To fight.
To love.
To die.
To regret.
This was all that he was left with. Only his guilty soul remained. He didn't deserve her to be so kind toward him. So caring, to waste her time, her heart, just to make him believe that it was worth it. Regret that he hadn't saw what she truly was doing in time. Stopped her in time. He regretted ever hurting her so much, as falling in love with her. He didn't deserve this salvation…. This love…
He wanted to close his eyes and suffocate under his sorrow, still he didn't. The reason was that he knew that if he does so than he would see it all…
One silver book.
One beautiful woman.
One dream he didn't deserve.
One illusion he wasn't worth for.
And blue flowers everywhere….
(Flashback)
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No, no, NO!!! I'm not writing for that bastard to come back. Damn it do you even know, if he is going to come back?"
"Inuyasha!"- Cried the dark- haired beauty- "He is going to come back, and he will!"
"Kagome look"- Started the angry inu- "He haven't came back for three days… maybe he had decided to search for Naraku on his own, don't you think?"
"Yeah"- stated the monk from his place near the campfire- "Or maybe, he has some important job in his lands… After all he is the Western Lord…"
"Yes…"- whispered Kagome, blue eyes filling with tears- "Or he just can't stand me anymore…"
Silence met her words. Everyone in the camp knew that something had happened, but nobody was sure what.
Sesshoumaru was missing. Kagome was sad… Just a few more problems for the small shard- hunting group…
'Perfect'- Inuyasha thought as he started walking the dirty forest path, made by animals- 'Just perfect!'
I remember every word you said:
"Come back in time,
Come back!!!"
(Deep into the Western lands)
"Is he coming back now?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because he isn't!"
"…Now?"
"No."
"Where do we go?
We go!
She'll never know!!!"
Oh, who he hated this world…
This primal, self- centered world… World that was bringing pain, fear, hatred…
A dieing world… Killing world… World of the Killing Perfection…
His world… But never a world he really wanted.
"Why do I live?"- sometimes he asked himself- "Why do I suffer? Why do I take all this in?"
And- "Wouldn't it be easier if I just… give up. Say no the pain… Just pass over."
Sadly he knew he couldn't… There still was someone… deep, deeper in his heart…
He still loved her. Love was a really annoying thing- it comes unwelcomed in the worst moment, with the worst person and… the worst consequences. Love was a murder.
But he loved her… He hated "love", but he loved "her". This pain. This pain inside him was showing it. Why would he feel that way if he didn't care about her? No- he still loved her. More than ever.
Closing his eyes, she was there- waiting for him… willing to love him. In his head- she was always there, waiting for him to fall asleep and to tempt him into the debts of the dark bliss called "feelings".
Strange… He was a hunter. He was always after her. He was there when she was with her group… when she was alone. He knew the shape of hr smile and the smelt of her tears by heart. He was able to remember her scent even a million miles away from her… the blue shade of her eyes… the darkness of her rich, black hair… It was all there….
And still, he- the hunter was the one hunted, by the image of that perfect woman…
No, no woman was able to be that beautiful… An angel…
Or was she? This temptress, that came by night times in his dreams and made him forget who he was…
Demon… No… not a demon… Too pure was her heart, too untouched by the dark world was her soul…
She was just his Angel of Night…
Never his…
Forever his…
This suffer…Pain…Torture…
Gods, how he loved her!
All
the vibrant colors I see,
Are
the shades that fill the grey…
…Pain…
Sesshoumaru's mind was empty as he was wandering thought the lush forest. The day was warm, the sun shinig over the eart. The forest was green and the birds were singing their lullabies.
Normally, the Lord Of the West would have enjoyed the sight that graced his lands…
But not now… Not today…. Never.,..
The landscape was grey to him. The sun wasn't shining… Not anymore… Not ever…
He didn't want to hear, if it wasn't her voice...
He didn't want to see if it wasn't her face…
He didn't want to live, a live without her…
He didn't want to be alone…
He didn't want to be alone…
Suddenly the peaceful aura of the green forest moved, like a living creature, and The Lord's senses went on fire. There, in the distance, was standing tall and strong, bear youkai, in it's original form. Usually not the one to such a fight, now the aristocratic assassin went strait for the pray.
He wasn't going to be the only one that was going to suffer…
I remember every word you said:
"Come back in time,
Come back!!!"
(Deep into the Western lands, again)
"Now?"
"No."
"Now?"
"No!"
"Mmmm… Now?"
"No!"
Small,
simple, safe price.
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my
regrets.
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and
flakes, and heals.
And I am not afraid to die.
I'm not afraid
to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
Kagome was sitting away from everybody in the camp. Her head hurt and she was ready to give all of her shards, if that was going to bring Sesshoumaru back.
She was guilty for his missing… If she just wasn't stupid enough to fall asleep, nothing of this wouldn't have happened… Maybe Sesshoumaru was out there, somewhere alone, hating her… Or even worse… With someone else…
That thought really made her heart race… It was painful to even think, that he could love someone else. Was se growing to… love him?
These feelings were so hot… at white heat, they made her hear race, made her gasp for breath. This wasn't anything like the childish love she had for Inuyasha… This was not only love... It was passion.
Burning inside of her was something new… something fragile yet strong…
She did… didn't she?
She finally took the last step…
She let go…
She fell in love with him…
…Sesshoumaru.
"Come back."
"Now?"
"No."
"Now?"
"No."
"Now?"
"No."
"Lord Sesshoumaru!"- Screamed Rin, her eyes going large.
"I said NO! The Lord ain't coming back, he… Oh gods…"- Moaned Jaken.
The great Lord Of The West stepped in the make- shift camp. The light was soft, but still the crimson stains over the always snow- white clothes. Under the large hole in his armor one was able to see a great gash dripping with fresh blood and something black, that Jaken was only able to think as poison.
Sesshoumaru took few steps forward until his feet seemingly weren't able to hold him anymore. Although his seemingly week appearance he gracefully took his last steps to a tree in the middle of the clearing where non less gracefully he sat down back to Rin and Jaken.
"My Lord…"- Started the green youkai his circular eyes going even wider- "You must…"
"Jaken,"- Cut him the Lord of the West- "Go and call my brother's miko."
"But, My Lord…"- Tried again the small demon.
"Call her,"- Sesshoumaru continued, as if he was never stopped- "And tell her, that she is to tend my wounds. I have a way to pay her off for the work."
Jaken's eyes opened wide, there in the only palm of his master were laying two sparkly pieces floating with almost unbearable force. Good and evil fighting in those two pieces of some ungodly power.
The untamed power that was tamed. The unbreakable force that was broken. The souls of the greatest miko and demons known to man and youkai- The Shikon No Tama.
The Lord of West closed his palm and whispered- "Go."
Jaken nodded grabbed the staff of the heads and made a gesture to Rin.
"Come on,. Now,"- he whispered- "You'll sleep in the saddle, there is a long way to go and we should leave the Lord alone to tend his lost youki. We should leave now, every second is important, you can sleep on the saddle can't you, Rin?"
"Yes, Rin can!"- Squeaked the little girl- "Rin can do anything for Lord Sesshoumaru!"
Secretly watching his ward and servant The Lord of the West let hiс thoughts fly elsewhere. The battle had been hard. The bear youkai he met was actually a part of a bear pack, using the power of the Shikon no Tama. Strangely, with the strength of the youki of all the demons the power of the jewel was suppressed and almost unsinkable. After killing big part of the pack, only letting go the females and the cubs, deep in their den surrounded by the youki of those who were still alive, he found the two pieces of the Shikon no TamaMaybe this was the reason why Kagome wasn't able to find them, despite her many attempts.
… Kagome… Always in the back of his mind, wasn't she? His eyesfollowed Ah- Un as it galloped through the night sky. Finally alone he let his head fall backwards to the tree and close his tired eyes. Then slowly with the ripping of the night a tinny smile appeared over his moonlight- pale face.
The Great Lord of the West was dreaming.
And between the shades of grey, two pale blue eyes were burning their way…
… Straight to his heart.
To be continued….
Yes! OMG! It can't be!!! But it IS! AN UPDATE xX Yeah I'm stupid… no excuses, I just couldn't write this TT
Sowwy X(
I'll try, I'll really try to update more often TT
Thanks for all the reviews guys that is what made me try to continue this
I'm happy that u like ths
BTW: Soon every chap will be updated I already have worked trough 1, 2, 3, 4 ,5 and 6
Well, that's all cuties,
Luv KillingMeTender
P.S: Review and rate pleaseeeeeeeeeee (puppy dog eyes)