Reviews:
Memoria Muse: Yeah. You gotta love the state of being oblivious.
AyanamiEraclea: Arr, bitches XD
Shiguna: Yeah, that's sorta the reason why there's this big hole in dad's bathroom door.
Axel's Stalker: Your name scares me. Axel, you need to watch your back a bit more, the creepy stalking people are coming for you again.
Axel: OO Damn, Where'd I put that stick?
What… stick?...
Axel: The one I use to keep the stalking people that try to catch me in the shower at bay.
Axel! I did not need to know that!
AvlisTheChosen: Why, thanks! Read this chapter then, it's incredibly ridiculous.
And now for our features random crap. Turn off your cellphones and go nuts...
"We'll have to steer clear of Saïx for a while…" said Demyx, stating the obvious. As if everything just wiped from his mind, he got that dumb look and grinned. "You guy's hungry? I am!" Axel and Roxas groaned as he dragged them down the hall towards the kitchen, most likely just using them so he wouldn't have to clean up after himself.
As they entered the Kitchen, they smelled an obvious smell of pastries. Roxas couldn't place it but Axel and Demyx sure could.
"MUFFINS!" They cheered in unison. Roxas noticed Xaldin with an apron and a set of oven mitts on. He whirled around and spread his arms out.
"No! Not this time, Xemnas still hasn't gotten over the last time you two ate all the muffins before he could even have one!"
As if on cue. Xigbar wandered in. "Making muffins again, dude?"
"Yep! He's being the muffin man!"
"Demyx, the Muffin Man doesn't make the muffins, he just sells them..." Axel corrected. Roxas gave him a look like 'and you would know?'
Demyx pouted. "Then who makes them, Mr. Pyro-know-it-all."
Axel smacked him upside the head before replying. "The Muffin Midgets, you dumbass."
Roxas, Xigbar, and Xaldin all did a double twitch.
Twitch. Twitch.
"Axel?"
"Yes, Roxas?"
"Are you on something?"
"That hurt."
"I'm serious! What the fuck are you on? Muffin Midgets? Are you stupid, insane, on crack, or all of the above?"
Axel ignored the question. "Yeah. They're the minions of the Muffin God."
Everyone did another double twitch.
Twitch. Twitch.
Xigbar broke the silence. "Well. He ain't a midget-" Xaldin scoffed and rolled his eyes. "-and no matter how much he wants to be, he ain't a god either."
"Then what is he?"
"A white guy with dreadlocks that he keeps in a ponytail that makes muffins and has this weird accent that sounds like those ducks from that episode of that show with the pink wussy dog that has a hole that goes straight through his tooth were they were trying to get their brother back so they put this weird hat on the old fat woman and the old bald guy while they were sleeping and--" Demyx only got that far before he fell backwards, light-headed from not stopping to take a breath. Roxas shook his head. Axel scoffed.
"Idiot…"
"…What were we talking about again?" Asked Roxas.
"I forget. My train of thought sorta derailed and hit a tree when Demyx started off on a one sentence rant. It's only understandable because he can hold his breath for a long time… sorta explains why he can scream so loud too." Axel reached for a fresh muffin only to have Xaldin jab his arm with a fork.
"Do you want to lose your hand?"
Xaldin was serious. He was the one who usually cooked in The Castle That Never Was. Sometimes he'd use his lances to cook multiple things at a time. Many wondered how he still had all his fingers. Axel decided not to answer the question and instead remembered what they were talking about.
"Oh, yeah. The Muffin issue."
Xigbar had obviously gotten tired of the conversation and had begun poking Demyx with the barrel of his gun. "Dude knocked himself out cold." He continued this a few more times before getting up, getting a beer from the fridge, and walking to the door. "So long little muffin eating dudes, dude that needs to learn why people invented commas, and Muffin Making Dude." He waved before walking back to his room.
As soon as a door was heard opening and closing, Axel, who had sat down in a chair, tipped his head back and laughed hysterically. "The Muffin dude! PERFECT!"
"I don't find it funny."
'That's because it's making fun of you." said Roxas. He looked down to see Demyx giggling on the ground. Xaldin looked ready to wring both Axel's and Demyx's necks, paying no attention to his muffins. Roxas took the opportunity to steal three of the said snacks, Xaldin took no notice. "Guys, let's go already."
"But what about the Muffins?" whined Demyx. Roxas used his eyes to motion towards the muffins he was hiding and Demyx grinned. "Okay, I'll leave."
"Yeah, this is kinda getting boring anyways."
"Demyx Immediately jumped up and dragged Roxas and Axel out the door (again), making sure Xaldin wouldn't hear him before turning to Roxas."Gimme."
"What?"
"You know what, give me the damn muffin!" Roxas held it out and was almost tackled by the other blonde
Axel turned to Roxas. "You managed to steal some muffins? Sweet! Give me one!" Roxas quickly tossed it to him so as not to be tackled again. As they sat there chewing on chocolate muffins, they heard a voice yell "YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!" and a lance went flying past.
"Crap."
"They're off!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As soon as they were out of Xaldin's stabbing range, Demyx found it appropriate to break out into his new favorite annoying song. "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! There they are standing in a row! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head. Give 'em a twist a flick of the wrist, that's what the showman said. Oh I've gotta lovely bunch er coconuts. There they are er standing in a row-- ACK!" Demyx's face was promptly introduced to a coconut that Axel kept on his person at all times whenever that started.
'Where'd you get them anyways?" Asked Roxas, tossing one up and down in the air.
"I got them the last time I took a little trip to the Destiny Islands. They taste pretty good if you can get them open." He took the coconut from Roxas and tossed it over his shoulder, successfully scoring a direct hit on Demyx's head, who was about to break out into song again. "Roxas, you seriously shouldn't have let him watch that movie.
Hey, cool! His thick head cracked it open!" Axel picked up the two halves of the coconut and clapped them together before laughing. "Just like in the Holy Grail, huh?"
Roxas laughed. "A five ounce bird cannot carry, a one pound coconut!"
"I chink I got a toncussion…" groaned Demyx, still on the ground. Axellaughed.
"Wow. I never realized Demyx could use spoonerisms." Laughed Roxas.
"Spoonerjiggers?"
"Idiot…" mumbled Axel smacking his head. "Come on. Let's go find something else to do." Roxas sighed, and dragged Demyx along after Axel
(sigh) They can't seem to stay out of trouble can they? Roxas looks like the one who could steal things and not get noticed. And for all who wanted to know how I came across that very weird Muffin dude thing, it sorta started as me talking on the phone with Master of Murder, pushing some little toy cars off of my desk and saying "So long, little racer dudes." And soon after eating a muffin it sorta popped into my head. Nothing special.
And the Show Demyx was talking about was Courage the Cowardly Dog. The one with the duck brothers that lay eggs.
Now, review, please. It'll make me happy, and let me know people actually bother to read all of the random crap I write.