echogrl345, thank you for sticking around.

Naley, I'm answering your question right now! And I told someone else how much I hate flirty Nathan and Peyton, so I write them as if I was talking to my best friend. It's just easy.

Mistydm, I hope to meet your expectations. That's all I'm going to say not to spoil it.

Hjs, thanks!

Krizue, my darling, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. And don't worry, I don't forgive things easily!

naleyHON, I't going to limit myself to repeat what I told Mistydm.

HJS-NS-23, I don't think it took too long! Thanks for the support.

OBS: There's a tiny description (2 lines) that doesn't belong to me. I read it once, but can't remember where. Once I do, I'll post it.

Chapter 5

In his mind's eye, the sight of Haley's petite frame sitting there wearing her hair down, her trademark ugly poncho to protect her from the light wind, and glasses, leaning against her usual tree and enjoying the peace and quiet that special place provided her, was mesmerizing and, in expected ways, moving.

He had lost count of how long had passed since he had spotted her there, taking advantage of what seemed to be her oasis of comfort and relaxation, still immaculate and magnificent.

It were the moments like this, when he watched her in secrecy, which made Nathan feel like the walls he had built up around himself were practically non existent. In times like that, he wondered why couldn't he act the same way in front of others, or simply in front of her...

Getting intrigued by the second, he went closer to where she was sitting, making as little noise as possible, but still enough to let her know he was invading her private moment and breaking the concentration she was trying to evoke when staring at the beautiful stars that filled the midnight sky, clouded by a few yellowish rags of condensation, with an almost continuous wall of dim light that reflected in the water, smooth as a mirror.

Even though he had spent countless minutes studying her intently but in the most absolute silence, she had been able to sense he was there hidden somewhere in those woods. Their woods.

She was doing her best to cope with it and keep her focus on the sky, but the thought of her estranged husband being there warmed her heart for some instants, bringing a half-smile to her face and impacting her, although she couldn't tell why.

He was not making any moves to approach her and expecting it to happen was simply setting herself up to for a new level of deception. Nathan was there, at the same place she was, and maybe for the same reasons. Oh, joy... She would not ask his motives which could either please or destroy her, like he had in the past. The truth was she couldn't bare if he shattered her heart with his response, not tonight of all nights. It had been too hard convincing herself she had to stay home and let him receive his award by himself because she was no longer part of his life. She didn't need more pain, sadness or sorrow. She had experienced enough for a lifetime. It was undeniable.

He wasn't standing that far away and it could've been his scent that had warned her about his presence. It could also have been her intuition, but she wasn't sure, or worried about it. Haley couldn't make sense of why, but she was beaming with her undying delight to still be capable of telling when he was physically near her, and to feel the same scent that had hypnotized her easily and taken away all sense of control. But not tonight!

Finally mustering the courage to approach her and accommodate himself somewhere next to her tree, Nathan watched that serene face, waiting to see if she'd speak to him.

But she stood there, not moving and in a profound and torturing stillness, looking up, letting him realize she wouldn't initiate a conversation. She had already said her goodbye, and she was willing to leave things like that. Touching her wounds would only make it worse.

"You were never this quiet." He pondered, unable to let the silence perpetuate. It was inflicting severe pain, but to his ears. How paradoxical...

A humble shrug and nothing more was her response. She never tore her eyes away from her line of vision, and unconsciously, she let the sheet of paper she was holding fall aside.

The longest pause. The dread muteness was almost driving Nathan Scott, who refused being deprived of speech for the second time that week, to the edge. The anticipation of the words that could come out of her beautiful lips was about to take him earlier to his grave.

"You rambled a lot." He stated matter-of-factly. "You were always the talkative."

Another short and careless response was what he received. A muffled laughter came from her, as she struggled with herself not to direct her big brown gaze to him.

"You used to listen." She murmured smoothly without giving it thought.

For one night only, she wouldn't let him have the upper hand, meaning she wouldn't allow him the chance of hurting her. Also, she wouldn't stop to measure her words before speaking. She'd let her heart guide her through thick and thin until one of them surrendered and left. She had earned the privilege of at least speaking her mind after all the pain she had endured.

"Is the sky that fascinating tonight?" He looked up mocking her, but delicately.

"Not as I wanted it to be." She confessed; disappointment in her declaration.

"Can I ask what are you looking for up there?" He questioned her, with genuine curiosity in his voice.

"Ten shooting stars". She told him sternly.

"Isn't that a little greedy?" He maintained his kind tone despite hers.

"I guess it is, but I have good intentions so I'm entitled." She smiled freely.

"For instance?" He went on spontaneously.

"You wouldn't want to know."

"I'm asking, aren't I?" With his eyebrows raised in curiosity, he smirked. The amazing smirk that always captivated her.

She chuckled, shaking those thoughts off of her mind.

"But you were always the polite one when it concerned me, even during the worst moments of what we had."

Had...He embedded that in his memory.

"This is not out of politeness. I'd really like to know." He insisted.

"Don't do this, Nathan." She requested, almost begging him.

"Do what?"

She chuckled one more time. He was so cute, but could be so dense sometimes.

"Feign interest. just don't do it. We don't need it. We don't even have to talk. Your obligation to be nice to me ended a long time ago. You're off the hook, I promise".

"Why would you say that? Give me a little more credit, Haley. You know me better than that." - He was offended, but for no reason.

"Do I?" She doubted. "Because the Nathan I used to know seems to have left this planet for good. He must have found something way better and doesn't plan on coming back." She pushed him.

"I could say the same about you." He snapped back at her unintentionally.

"If that's what you need to believe..." It was her turn to smirk. "Can we not go there? And before you answer, remember I've been respecting every one of your wishes since the last time we talked."

"I was not feigning interest." He spoke bluntly.

"If you say so." She shrugged as he stared at her clearly frustrated that she wouldn't look him in the eye for the briefest of seconds.

"So ten shooting stars, huh?" He pondered, reverting their conversation back to its beginning.

"Yeah. So far, I have gotten none. It's sad, huh?"

"How long have you been out here looking?"

"That would be none of your business." She revealed smiling.

"You don't feel like talking, do you?"

"I don't know. I just don't feel like sharing information. I've shared a lot these last few weeks, and I'm in peace now. Plus, I don't think I can talk to you of all people."

Her honest confession had managed to be a stab to his heart but once again he had no right to feel that way. It was his lack of forgiveness that had caused them to reach the pitiful situation they were in.

"I'm just asking because it's not safe for you to be here by yourself." She had wounded his ego, and he was not doing a terrific job trying to gain control back.

"I recall those words being said not long ago. It's not safe for me to be here by myself like it's not safe for me to walk around town after nine o'clock, right? I'm still doing it, you know. I haven't seen you following me around to check if I had any stalkers..." Realizing what she had said, she quickly covered her mouth with her hands in shame. She kept them there for a while, until she remembered she had made a commitment to herself so that she'd follow her heart for the night instead of her brains. Still, she felt like rectifying her statement. Oh, Haley! Never fully resolved. "That came out wrong. What I wanted to say is I still have duties to accomplish at night and I don't think it's any of your concern if I'm safe or not. You can sleep tight because nothing bad is going to happen to me." She assured him the way only she had the ability to do so. "Every bad thing that could happen, already have." She spoke quietly for him not to hear.

"What is that paper about?" He pointed to its direction.

Great maneuver, Haley thought.

She abandoned the sky and looked at him for the first time that night. She picked up her sheet of paper and showed him, ensuring her hands were hiding the important parts so that he wouldn't be able to read what was written. Then she noticed how dark it was and how dumb she seemed... She laughed. Her free spirit was slowly being reawakened.

"I violated a rule I've established with my best friend almost ten years ago." She kept laughing, taking off her glasses. "Lucas and I have this box of predictions we make every beginning of the school year. It's a ritual. We go to Karen's cafe rooftop, open the box, read the predictions we made the year before and add new ones." She explained for him to be able to get the picture.

"Okay...and the violation is?"

"This year, I made a copy of my list. We don't do that under any circumstances. We deposit our sheet of paper and forget about it. We let things go with the flow and this year I didn't. Therefore, I cheated."

"I don't think he'll actually mind it and if he does, he's just a jerk."

She held her urge to laugh. Who was he to speak about his brother? This was just ironical.

"Can you not offend him again until we're done talking? You have no idea how glad you'll make me. And about the paper, I don't care if he gets mad. This list is just...never mind."

"You can tell me..."

"Nah..." She shook her head. "I'd rather not."

"Are you sure?"

"I think we've established I already crossed all of the pathetic lines of my existence some time ago. We don't need to add up."

A sudden punch to his stomach and damn it hurt. It hurt a LOT. He felt like the lowest creature on the planet. It was very likely that there were only three people that had knowledge of what she was talking about. He was one of those, and Brooke and of course Haley were the other two. He'd known it from the day Brooke had yelled at him like a crazy person in the hallways that Haley had poured her heart out to her. That could be the only reason she was THAT mad. Or she had simply lost her mind because she was spending an excessive amount of time with Lucas... He still doubted the second option even though he preferred it.

"I'll ask again and you can choose whether you're going to answer or not. I can't force you to provide information, can I?"

She chuckled. Weren't they already doing the whole "I'll only answer what I feel like it"?

"I still won't tell you specifically why I kept the list, but I can tell you other things. Why don't we try that?" She honestly suggested.

"You said you were hoping for ten shooting stars. Have you made ten wishes, or predictions?"

"Yeah, but it's not because I'm greedy as you pointed. My name's not Nathan Scott, mister."

"I don't think I'm following."

"Only three of these predictions are private ones. I mean, only three are for my own benefit and they are more like impossible wishes than predictions. The other seven concern the third party's welfare."

"That's noble."

"Or plain stupid, considering some of these are linked to people that don't give me the time of the day." She said, getting under his skin without intention.

"Can I read it?"

"Not really. I'd have to kill you, or die. You choose." She joked, smiling at him, the smile he loved so much.

"Oh..."

Another pause. They didn't know what else to say until she realized something which didn't please her, but which was still a reality in her life.

"Well, maybe I could tell you what I wrote. So far we've gone almost three and a half months without speaking, not to mention the other three when you were at camp. Classes will be over in another five or six, I'll be gone in another seven or less, and we'll never see each other again, unless someone up there decides it differently, which I don't think will happen." He froze. Seven months would fly by, she would be gone leaving no trail and he'd have what he claimed he wanted. But did he actually want any of it?

"So I suppose I could tell you. It's not like you'll have a chance to hold it against me. I doubt you'll talk to me after today. You have a talent to make avoidance seem so simple." She commented without grief, rubbing her hands through her hair before crossing them around her body to warm herself up.

Although she didn't seem like she was grieving, he had no idea how much her admission had cost her. It made him amazingly upset, but she was beyond that. She was destroyed and conformed. No worst combination. No part of her believed he'd say otherwise.

"I hate it when you say these things."

"What things?" She contemplated.

"That we won't see each other again once we're done with school."

"Well, let me rephrase that. We'll see each other." His eyes sparkled. Weird, Haley told herself. This was a Nathan she barely knew, and his eyes presented no glow whenever he was near her. "When your lawyer calls me and we meet on Court for the Judge to ask us if we really want our divorce to be finalized." And the sparks were all gone as if they had never been there. "Can't say I haven't had several nightmares concerning the D day. It'll be probably in, hmm... approximately 206 days, if not a little longer."

"206 days?" He was appalled. Who, other than Haley, was crazy to the point of keeping track of something like that in mind? She could really be original and amusing. He saved that thought, but not for long. He let go of it when he figured why she was counting the time, even before she explained it to him.

"You've looked into the whole thing when school first started, haven't you? I keep my calendar updated. I have to slowly prepare myself for the occasion. I can't do anything stupid in front of the Judge, like telling him not to finalize the papers because you're making the biggest mistake of your life, can I? The pathetic lines, remember?"

He didn't answer.

"I---Err..."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to do it. I was messing around. I won't try and change your mind again because I respect your decision. You don't want me to be part of your life and I'm accepting it a little more everyday. Can't say it doesn't hurt me badly, but I have this place to help me with it."

He felt her pain. He was the only one who could stop it and he had to, but he wasn't sure how. He didn't know if he had the right of taking all that had been said and done between them back since he couldn't let his guard down and trust her. His damn pride was in the way.

Coming to a not so bright conclusion, he figured he shouldn't mess with her if he wasn't sure of what he wanted. He just wasn't.

"That's why you come here?" He was confused and held the tears that were welling up his eyes, like she held hers.

"Do you need me to hire a plane and write it in the skies?"

He was going to let her speak again without interrupting as he'd done it when he told her about the divorce.

"I came here tonight when Brooke and Lucas left the house. I thought I'd be cool with having the place to myself without them checking on me 24/7, and I love them for it as much as it annoys me some times, but once they were gone I couldn't stand being alone."

She sighed deeply, letting the few tears fall down. Raising her head, she continued with freshly dried eyes.

"I couldn't stand the thought of knowing you were having one of the best moments of your life without wanting me to be a part of it. That nearly killed me, if that's what you want to hear. And so much for not being pathetic again, huh?"

And she went on, needing to alleviate herself, having his full attention.

"You might not have wanted to keep me with you, Nathan, but the decision was never mutual. If it had been mine to make, we'd be together. Not happily ever after because there's no such thing, but we wouldn't be the strangers we are now." She bit her bottom lip which was quivering. Her hands were also shaking. "You want to know why I'm here? The reason will not make you happy. Or it will, if you've became spiteful since we separated. I am here because as sad as it is, this was my only way of being with you tonight; of supporting you, loving you and expressing how glad I am that you're conquering your dreams."

A mild chuckle graced her lips.

"It was an unfortunate twist of fate that you ended up finding me here; I'd be happier if you hadn't. I never meant for you to see me tonight, living my sorry ass life through the past. I also never, not for a minute, meant to ruin your special moment and that's why I refused going to the party with Brooke and Lucas. I knew that if you saw me, you would not feel as comfortable as you were supposed to feel in your night of glory."

She sighed again, getting her nerves together and gathering strength to wrap up her confession.

"About this place, you might think it is really silly, but this is all I have left now when it comes to us, but then again you're also here… You know, I have this, my memories that won't fade with time and my foolish list." She told him with her list in her hands. "But it's okay now. Like I said, I came to terms with all of it and this place just helps me. I come here everyday, when I wake up and some times at lunch. I stay here, enjoying the pure air and listening to the river. It feels so good and it never ceases to calm me."

A single tear escaped her eyes and she brushed it off while he still held his.

"I look at that table over there and I see you giving me the crackerjack bracelet and telling me not to say you've never given me anything. I don't go down there. I did it once with Brooke, but I don't. It's our safe spot; it hasn't been tainted. No rage words have been said there and no awful moments were experienced. It's the only place we've really spent time in that's still immaculate... It's the one place that makes me happy and I spend long hours in here saying goodbye to you and to us, because when I leave this town, I won't dare coming back. It's stupid, I know..."

It hit him again... He was losing her for good and he was not fighting it. Was his pride so much more important than his happiness? It seemed so...

"This town has given me all I ever wished for, but also too much sorrow that I don't want to go through anymore. It's like the essay we wrote for our final: I got my heart's desire in this place, but I lost even more. There were moments full of light, but there were the ones in which darkness prevailed." She finished, feeling as if a ton of bricks had been taken off of her chest.

She stood up and he watched, completely mute and cleaning the tears that had fallen against his will. So much for not being deprived of speech again!

She folded her list carefully and put it in her pocket. Delicately, she bent down and retrieved her glasses before she started leaving.

"I'm going to miss this place, Nathan." Haley said it out loud with her back to him as she walked away. "But not nearly as much as I'll miss you." She whispered, breathing in the air, surrendering and disappearing into the night.

Ally.