Why in Dumbledore's name do I have such a big mouth all of a sudden? What has happened to me?

I'm not that sort of girl. (The kind of girl who stupidly blurts things out about handcuffs…)

And why does he keep sneaking shifty glances across the table at me? Oh yes, try as you might Ron, I have noticed you doing it. Concentrating hard on his homework as usual…

I really fail to see why he's constantly giving me the once over…he looks like he's expecting me to pounce on him. I suppose it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that he now thinks I'm harbouring some sort of secret, sordid obsession with sex toys…

Well, shocking revelation. Hermione Granger has a sex drive. Shocking revelation. Hermione Granger has sexual organs.

I hate him.

No I don't. But he's a complete idiot if he'd rather be with the walking sex organ than…

What the hell am I saying? He's my friend. My idiotic, senseless, brave and totally adorable when he opens his mouth to speak, friend.

I hate him.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Have I gone mental? Hearing voices is meant to be a clear warning sign. And I definitely heard the word "handcuffs"…but she was the one who said it. I saw and heard her. Why else would she go all red and fidget about like she does on the rare occasion that she loses her dignity and endures what us mere mortals know oh so well? Embarrassment. Humiliation.

I can't help but laugh to myself. Maybe I have gone mad. Or maybe I haven't started thinking about this clearly yet.

Oh no. She caught me again while I was smiling. She'll probably pounce on me next time…I hope she pounces on me next time.

Why does she keep shooting me murderous glares? She doesn't seem to realize that I can see her doing it. It's rather obvious.

I'm almost one hundred percent sure that I haven't done anything wrong this time. She was the one who brought "handcuffs" into the whole business. Haha. Filth. Filthy Hermione.

Stop it Ron. She looks like she wants to tell me I'm a naughty boy. That I should be punished.

Get your bloody mind out of the gutter Ron Weasley. You have a girlfriend. Yeah.

She scares me.

Both of them do.

Lavender scares me because I can see everything she feels, wants, and needs in her eyes. It's sort of hard to avoid.

Hermione on the other hand scares me even more, because most of the time I don't have a clue what she wants or what she's thinking or feeling. Take now for instance. She's clearly pissed off with me. But why? She's a mystery. And it makes me so bloody annoyed that I seem to succeed so well in upsetting her…when I've known for a long time now that the one thing I desire above everything else in the entire world is to make Hermione Granger happy.

Why am I smiling again? This time when she catches me I hold my hands up in defeat. She's shaking her head now. That high and mighty…she's walking over…no, actually it's more like charging…

"Ron, for heavens sake will you stop bloody staring at me!?" Her eyes were narrowed with vexation. "You know what, forget it! I'll leave…and maybe then you can have even more fun glaring at the empty space in which the freak used to reside!"

She began to march off huffily but Ron quickly grabbed her upper arm and turned her back around to face him.

"Oi you…firstly, I was only staring at the fact that you were sitting all the way over there… and…and staring at me! And secondly, I think you ought to bloody well be careful because that was the second bloody time you've sworn today! Don't want to get a bad reputation eh? And thirdly…erm…"

Hermione tired to remove his strong grip on her arm. He didn't release her; so instead she bestowed upon him a very dismissive sigh.

"Thirdly Ron? Come on, I really am dying to know what else you think!"

"Thirdly, erm…you're not a freak…err…so…so I wouldn't be staring at where the freak used to reside…because you know…"

He stopped rambling because there was a smile twitching at the corners of her lips.

"You're insufferable Ron," she smiled.

"Ah but Hermione, you'd gladly suffer for my company." he grinned.

She rolled her eyes and made to sit back down.

"Oh Hermione by the way, our problems are all sorted now because I've remembered them! I've got the handcuffs!"

You might actually be pushing it here Ron. Lets see…

But before he could assess and enjoy her reaction to that cheeky remark he was suddenly grappled by…his girlfriend.

And when he managed to pause for breath and look around…. she was gone.

A/N: WARNING: you are about to read a plea that denotes a certain level of desperation. Well…if you put this story on story alert then I assume that you don't dislike it...so would it be too much to ask for you to review as well?? Even if it's just to say "Yay" or "Nay" or whatever. It would make my day. So err...go on, make my day. :D