Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis: Evangelion.

ONE MORE FINAL: AN EPIPHANY AMIDST THE INFINITY OF THOUGHTS

Surrounded on all sides by nothing.

"I've never known what to do. Everyone's always told me what to do or ordered me around or manipulated me—and I've always known that, but I never really wanted that to change. I was afraid of change. Change always hurt. Always. So… I thought that it'd be best if everything remained the same. Then I would always know what was going to happen. There was no risk of getting hurt again, since I already knew when I was supposed to get hurt. It'd be boring, but… at least… at least I'd be safer that way."

"But what about the people you condemned to relive their lives?"

—Ikari, did you try to understand?—

"They—it—it didn't matter! They forced themselves on me every chance they had!"

"You idiot! It only seemed like that because you never tried to stand up for yourself!"

—Of course that stupid Shinji isn't here!—

"But… I guess you're right. I never did that because I never wanted to. That meant responsibility—and I could handle that, except that… well, the concept of freedom is scary."

"But Shinji… if you don't look after yourself, how are you going to survive?"

—We'll do the rest when you get back.—

"Maybe I'm just not fit to survive."

"Incorrect."

—I have a use for you.—

"All I ever wanted was to be left alone. I never asked for any of this. I never wanted—"

"There you go again, playing the martyr! Don't you get sick of being so self involved?"

—Wimp.—

"But I'm not self involved! Everyone else is just against me! They've always been like that! It isn't my fault! Don't be like that! I… never asked for anything, and everyone… everyone… oh…"

"Do you understand, now?"

—So, you can't bridge the gap between others' reality and your own truth.—

"No! It isn't my fault! How can it be?! I… no… I never… I didn't…"

—"Go ahead, run away again!"

—"If you don't like it, you can always run away."

—"If it's that painful, you can always stop."

"Stop."

—"Go ahead, run away again!"

—"If you don't like it, you can always run away."

—"If it's that painful, you can always stop."

"Stop!"

—"Go ahead, run away again!"

—"If you don't like it, you can always run away."

—"If it's that painful, you can always stop."

"I'm not running away!"

And in the flash of light that consumed the darkened emptiness, epiphany exploded into the only real person on the planet.

Everything finally made sense.

-----------------------------------------------------

Shinji stared up at the stars in the naked sky. A ruined necropolis rose out of the settled dust and fog in the distance. A ring of blood tore the sky in two. The face of a dead dream smiled eerily on the horizon. The crucifixions of false hopes littered the ground.

Everything was gone. There was nothing left. Why continue living? Was this really what he wanted?

Starlight and the pale moon illuminated the dead earthen plain. Only the sea of dawn made any sounds.

His gaze led his sight out across the vast, red ocean.

And an ordinary boy spied an ordinary girl from across the way, but she disappeared in a gust of wind.

She breathed beside him. She was still breathing.

He was still breathing.

He grabbed a hold of her throat and squeezed. If they had only listened to him, none of this would have had to happen. If they had only been nice. If they had only offered. If they had only—

She caressed his cheek. Her fingers were velvet. Her face was an open door. Maybe, he realized, if people just tried to be reasonable for once, humanity wouldn't be so bad after all.

And it made him cry.

"How disgusting."