Author's Notes: I hate this story because it took so long and had so many incarnations. Any one that can determine which character from the game is the focus of each book towards the end of the story, gets a cookie. Oh, and Goddamn Reno for going against my wishes and making a decent ending this time!

Theme: If

Where Would I Be Today?

For a year he'd been the subject of my art and he never knew it. I'd painted him against a sunset, sketched him smoking, and I'd even done him in oils as he was stretched out in the grass near the pond studying. There was something about him, in his posture, in his red hair, in the innocent glean in his eyes, that just made him a perfect subject for any medium at all. The only things I knew of him were the curve of his lips, the ice of his eyes, and how much I wanted to be his.

It was hard to go through the last day of finals that year, because I knew I might not see the nameless stranger again, and I was in the middle of a new painting. All summer I fretted about the unfinished painting in my room, and prayed I could cross the path of the handsome male once more.

Then the fall quarter of my sophomore year came and I opened the door of my new dorm only to run smack into the red-haired male.

"Oops. Hey, sorry. Guess I should look before I leap for the door, right? Oh, and I'm Reno by the way."

He managed to get all of this out before I had time to recover from the shock of the fall. Soon though he was gathering up my stuff and helping me into the room.

"Oh," Reno said as he looked at the canvas he'd picked up for me. "Hey! That's me! So you're the guy that I always seemed to see painting when I was relaxing. I thought you were some stalker dude. Good to know you're just an art student with the hots for me."

I must have turned the most violent shade of crimson because he froze.

"Dude, I was kidding," he said, far slower than before. "So, you really do like me huh? That is cool. I'm not that way though, wouldn't be even if I were on the market, you know? Yo, you coming in or not? Can't have you waiting out in the hallway. You don't have much stuff to bring in do you? Art students rarely do."

And just like that, everything was cool.

At first he accepted my work, allowing me to sketch and paint him whenever I needed to. Soon we were spending almost all of our time together. But, after fall semester had ended, to say that things got weird would be the understatement of the year.

"Yo, dude, what you doing tonight?" he suddenly asked me one night, watching me type out my latest paper for the English class I HAD to take.

"We've got a late class tonight for art studio. Model coming in that we're supposed to paint."

"So I've heard," Reno said. That didn't surprise me, he knew everything that happened on campus. "But what are you doing after that?"

"Grabbing a bite to eat I guess."

"We could go out to eat, you and me. My treat."

Something in my mind screamed 'date', but I knew this odd male too well for such an idea. Reno was straight and he had a girlfriend who I was yet to be introduced to. So, once I shut the screaming part of my mind off, there was no hesitation in saying yes to the offer.

We both left the dorm at the same time, agreeing that I would 'get in touch' with Reno when class was over. This done I was off to pick up a classmate and head over to class.

One could imagine the startled look upon my face when our nude model came in and proved to be Reno. My eyes would not leave the lithe form. They devoured him totally and hungrily. My hands moved like humming birds over my canvas, shaping the torso and legs and arms of my constant dreams. It really didn't help that I was working like a man possessed, though, because I didn't even stop working when Reno headed off to get back into some clothes. I was completely taken by the art he had once more inspired.

"Yo, uh, it's time to go," was whispered in my ear, causing me to jump and almost smear the icy-blue color I had chosen for his eyes into the flaming red of his hair.

"Reno!" I protested, turning to protect the work-in-progress from his sight.

"I said that it is time to go Reeve. Hey, can I see?"

I shook my head and pushed him away.

"You are not allowed to see it until it is done. Now go away while I clean up."

Strangely enough he obeyed me, probably for the first time since we had met (except when I yelled at him to stop fidgeting or playing with his hair while I was sketching and painting him). Reno even went as far as to offer to carry my bag as we went out into the night and off to dinner. During the whole thing that part of my mind, finally on again because it was the creative half of me and I had needed it to paint, screamed date. To quiet it I had to force it to focus upon the new painting. But date it had to be, I realized soon enough. Reno had pulled out my chair for me at the restaurant he had picked, paid for dinner and wine (where had he gotten that kind of money?), and even offered me his favorite leather jacket to wear when we were heading back to the door and it started to snow because it was so cold. This continued over the two weeks allotted to his posing for the paintings of the class.

Finally came the day before the nude painting was due to be turned in, and I had brought the canvas and paints back to the dorm instead of locking them up in the professor's supply closet like normal. I intended to devote the night to finishing touches and, of course, the signing of the painting. Reno, who was stretched out on the couch reading when I came in, bounded to his feet and sprang to my side when he saw the brown-paper covered canvas.

"Is that the painting?" he asked.

"Yeah. Got to do some touch up on your hair and eyes. Do you mind?"

Reno shook his head and fetched my stool from the bedroom as I adjusted lighting and set up the easel that rested near the TV. While I set out the paints the other male grabbed himself a chair and took up the pose he'd been using for the painting (thankfully with clothes on). An hour later I smiled at the finished work, and prepared to sign the canvas in the least obtrusive way possible. He, sensing the air of finality, sprang once more to my side.

"Can I see it now?" he asked softly.

Before I could finish my nod he was behind me, arms around my waist and chin resting upon my shoulder as I signed the bottom right corner with my initials and the date.

"It is beautiful," he mumbled, taking in the imagine of him stretched out in a lazy pose amid silken sheets (though none covering him for that would defeat the purpose of the assignment to paint a nude of Reno in any creative manner as long as the entirety of Reno's flesh was uncovered). When he man's hand moved, as if to reach out and touch the silk, I was forced to slap it away from still wet paint.

Now I find the courage to ask what has been eating at my mind for weeks, "Why have you been acting so strangely lately Reno?"

"Strange?"

"You volunteered to pose nude when you never wear less than two layers of clothes, and in my class no less. Then you take me to dinner, often. Hell, you have your arms around me right now. I can't help but feel weird. You're acting almost as if we were dating."

There was silence for a while. "You like me, right Reeve? Practically said so the day we met. You show it in how you use me as your muse or whatever you've called it. You… Really like me, right?"

The question was said so soft, his voice and words so fragile and pained that I could not lie to him.

"Like is not enough to describe it Reno. I really like the time we've spent together you know, and I will admit that I want more, but I know…"

My words died as he removed his hands from his waist and placed them instead on my shoulders, forcing me to turn to face him.

"Every guy experiments during college right?" he spoke, as if convincing himself in preparation for something.

It was Reno's hand gripping the back of my head that kept me from backing into the painting for shock of what was going on. Reno was straight with a capital S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T, and yet here I was, being kissed by the male. Sure, the kiss lasted for less than a heartbeat (and quicker really since we're going by my heartbeat right now and it was racing), but it was enough to be called a kiss. More followed that as Reno's hands began to explore me, and my hands could not help but return the favor. My body, hell, my heart, thought it was ready for anything, but that part of my brain was shouting again, this time saying 'he's using you'.

"Reno," I try to say, only to be cut off as his lips once more pressed against mine. It took a lot to pull back from it so I could speak. "Reno, stop."

I could not help but thank, and curse, God as he froze and gave me this 'oh-my-god-you've-run-over-my-puppy' look.

"You said you liked me Reeve. You kissed me back…"

"You have a girlfriend."

"She's cheating on me..."

Damn that part of my mind being right. He's using me to get back at her.

"We shouldn't do this. I'm not going to be a weapon to use against your girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend Reeve. And I don't want to be with her. I want to be with you…"

That was a low blow. He knew I cared for him, that I wanted to be with him. It was much too low of a blow. I wouldn't take that. Quickly I pulled away from him, moving to pick up my paint brushes instead so I could go and clean them. "No you don't, and I won't be used. Hell, you're straight Reno. There is no way you could ever want me, so stop fooling around like this!"

"Couldn't I?" he countered, once more moving behind me to wrap his arms around my waist.

The next morning I was so sure that if someone asked it of me I could perfectly mold a hunk of clay to the shape of the body that had been pressed against my back the night before. Now I could hear nothing, so I assumed Reno had gone to his room to do something like change. Noting the time on the clock I bolted for the bathroom. I had to take a shower and head to class as soon as possible. When I was washed, dried and changed I quickly returned the now dry canvas to the brown paper wrapping it had been in the night before, and fled from the dorms, not bothering to check on Reno.

I came to regret that decision when I returned to the dorms that evening with one of my friends from the art class, a perky blonde female named Elena (whose real major was in business and public relations). From the buzz in the lobby of the dorm (our building had a lobby because it wasn't coed and we needed to have a place to hang out with the girls) I knew something had to be up. Last time there had been this much tension in the lobby one of the top students had been kicked out because he was stalking a female teacher.

"What is going on?" I asked the nearest person, a tall, bald math major who was only ever in the lobby to read. I was as shocked that he replied as I was of his answer.

"Your roommate just got kicked out. Some girl accused him of raping her."

"You… You can't be serious," Elena said. She had grown fond of Reno through hours of cumulative flirting with him before and after he posed every night for us.

"This can't be true! He told me she was cheating on him and so he broke up with her."

"They say he did it last night," Rude continued.

"Impossible. I would have noticed if he left the dorm last night!" I protested.

Elena shook her head, "You sleep like a log. He would have had to have tripped over you for you to wake up Reeve."

I couldn't protest that, but I couldn't find it in me to tell them that he would have had to have done just that to get out of my room last night. And yet… where was he this morning? Quickly I turned from the pair, who were now talking in whispers, and headed for the dorm.

"Reno?" I asked as I entered the dorm and heard someone moving around in his room.

The red-haired male, his face bearing a frown for the first time, stuck his head out of his room. The frown only deepened as he saw me.

"Shit, I was hoping to be gone when you got back."

"What is going on? Did you actually…" I couldn't say it.

Reno shook his head, "Naw man, and I would have thought you knew me better than to suggest that. Cops cleared me, but she took it to the dean first, and I was booted. Even being innocent won't get me back in now. Not sure I wanna stay anyway."

How could I respond to that?

"Hey, about last night…" Reno said, "Can we just pretend it didn't happen? Wouldn't want to ruin my rep and all, not more anyway. You know how people gossip."

No words came out of my open mouth. How could he say that? Nothing happened? But everything had happened, and it still hadn't been enough for me.

"Thanks for understanding man," he continued, not even looking at me. Now he came from his room, a duffle bag over one shoulder and his book bag over the other. "I'll send my brother up for the rest of it next week. See you Reeve."

This said he had walked out of the dorm, and out of my life. The next day my major was changed to English, because I could no longer bear to look at canvas or paint or even my sketch pad.

--------

"Ready to see your adoring fans Reeve?" Elena asked.

"Why did I agree to this again?" I replied, growling at the woman as she messed with my shirt, smoothing out the various wrinkles and creases.

"Because I'm your press agent and I said so?" she responded with a cheerfulness that bordered upon a playful anger. "Besides, Tseng said that if you behaved you could stay tonight for dinner. He's making your favorite."

"Ah yes. The bribe of your husband's cooking. I knew I was getting something out of this."

But this was said to the back of Elena's head. The charming woman I had known since college could become that cutthroat agent at a moment's notice. Originally I'd only asked her for advice when the copyright on the first book of my series had expired. I had needed a temporary agent to negotiate me the best deal possible. She'd kind of stuck around since then. Now we were here, at the release of my fifth book in the series called 'Shadows of Mako'. Over the past six years I had become quite popular.

The head of the blonde peeked back through the door, "They are ready for you Reeve."

I took a deep breath and followed her out into the public eye, only to wish I had stuck with painting, and thus be completely unnoticed by the public. Now-a-days fans seemed to be everywhere I went. I had even been forced to hire a security detail after a woman had broken into my house a few weeks ago.

As I had practiced many times before, I put on my most charming smile and moved to the signing table. I knew that in time the smile would be genuine as I heard all of the praise of my fans, praise like I had been used to in college when I turned in my paintings, but for now this would do.

"Hello, and how are you?" I asked of the young lady at the head of the line. She looked about ready to faint. In her hands she held the newest book, Cold As Ice, and the older Fallen Shinobi.

Oh my go! It's really you! I'm so pleased to meet you Mister Tuesti! I just love your books! I know them all! I love how you're like telling about one big story from a different point-of-view in each book. I mean, are they all actually going to die in the end?" she squealed, not once breathing. I could not help but think for a moment about when I first met Reno.

My smile spread into a grin, "So, who should I make this out to?"

With that said she turned the books over to my custody, "Yuffie. I really love your book Fallen Shinobi. It's like, so beautiful. The heroine is just so cool! I think it would be cool to meet her in real life!"

"Yes, I really like her too. Such an optimist you know?"

"I love how you made the city Midgar feel so real and the threat to the Lifestream seem so true to life!"

"Yeah, but it is a good thing we don't live in a world like that, right? We don't want a giant company like Shin-Ra taking over, now do we?" Finally I handed back the books. With a smile and a perky cheer the female ran off.

This continued for a while, people bringing me different books of mine and the new on for signing, maybe fore gifts or for sale on ebay. They would all rant about the planet of Makou, the city of Midgar, and the story covering the ending years of the city. They praised the Lifestream, booed the insane General named Sephiroth, and asked me to tell them how it would all end. Finally my hands were starting to grow cramped like when I used to paint for hours on end, and I knew that I could take just a few more before I'd have to end.

A book was laid down before me, one of the first edition copies of my first book, Lost Souls. I knew this because only that book had a painting I had made of the lead character of the book on the cover. It was a beautiful, mint condition copy. One could almost reach out and touch the suit clad assassin of Shin-Ra, his suit disheveled, his hair unkempt, and sunglasses only managing to keep the hair from his eyes. This had been my last painting, made from a sketch of Reno made just before the nude painting that still hung in my bedroom.

"Could you make it out to Reno? Maybe put in some sappy line about how you miss him and how he totally rocks as a guy to write about. Then maybe you could give him a reason for why you write or something…"

The voice caused my eyes to shoot up in shock. They met the cold blue gaze of the man depicted on the cover. The slight smile on his face encouraged me to play along for now, feign ignorance. So I signed the book: 'To Reno, who I shall always miss even though I don't know who he is really. At least he's got cool hair. –Reeve'.

When I pushed the book back he looked down at the words, then back at me, a smirk in place. "Oh, that is a lot blow."

"Really? How low?" I asked, a sudden, unexplainable anger welling up in me. "Low like leaving and not writing? Low like sleeping with me and then telling me to pretend it didn't happen? Or low like letting me think you actually raped that girl?"

Reno rubbed the back of his head, something I remembered was a sign of nervousness in him, "Yeah, like that."

"Reno?" a voice came from behind me. Elena.

I stood, "Excuse me. I've things to attend to."

Without letting him speak I walked away from him and the approaching Elena, opting for the cold outside. It was quite peaceful out there, because it was the middle of winter and thus chilly enough for people to avoid the outside. Yet it was not long before I heard the door behind me open.

"Reeve, can we talk?"

"Go ahead and talk Reno. Can't say I'll listen."

The red-haired male moved to my side and dusted the snow off of a bench before the bookstore. He sat down and looked up at me, as if daring me not to sit down. I sat.

"Listen man, I had to leave, okay? Father got sick. Had to go back home."

My anger dissolved instantly. "I'm sorry Reno."

"Don't be. I hated the old guy. But, like me and my brother were the heirs to his fortune, you know? So we were expected to come home and learn to run the family business."

"Which is?" I asked.

"You know Cerberus Utilities?"

"Of course." Who didn't? Cerberus Utilities was the second leading supplier of water, electricity and natural gas in the USA, behind only ShinRa Electric.

"Yeah, we kinda own that."

Insert jaw-drop here.

"So, I had to go back, but people weren't supposed to know who I was right? I'm sorry I had to leave. I didn't want to."

I looked at my hands guiltily. For all of this time I had been mad at him for leaving. How could I be now?

"But it is for the best right? My company is one of your biggest supporters. We provide copies of your books to every library that wants a set. We started doing it after you got really popular of course. And think about it, if I hadn't have left, you'd just be some poor painter right now with a really creepy boyfriend who had been disowned by his family."

"Yeah… Wait… Boyfriend? Reno, we weren't…"

For the second time in my life he shocked me with a kiss.

If things keep up like this, who knows where we will be twenty years from now...