4 – Lynda and Colin

-x-

After the ninth ring, the other end of the phone was picked up with a muffled curse.

'Hello?'

'Answer me this, Colin,' snapped Lynda. 'How the Hell does he expect to "See More Of Emily" when he keeps insisting on buggering back off to America?'

There was a pause, in which Lynda knew Colin was shrugging. 'He's your husband, Lynda.'

'He's your gender!'

'Lynda…' Colin sighed. 'It's half past four in the morning. I've got to get up in a bit…'

'So have I,' fumed Lynda. 'And I can't sleep! It's all just so…'

'Look. It's been a crap day for all of us, OK? I've already been up half the night with Gray as it is.'

Lynda paused for a second, experiencing a momentary pang of guilt. 'I didn't wake him…?'

'No. Put it down, Lynda.'

'What?'

'The cigarette. Put it away.'

'I'm not smoking a…'

'You've got it in your mouth! Don't make me show you the slides again.'

'I've had a really bad day…'

'I don't care. You told me to stop you starting again.'

Lynda took the unlit cigarette out of her mouth and threw it in the bin. 'Spike hates it,' she added, sullenly.

'Is that why you keep doing it?'

Lynda sighed. 'I could have done without him today.'

'Emily was really happy to see him.'

'Yeah.' Lynda paused, glumly. 'He took her to the park, you know.'

'Oh?'

Lynda tucked the phone receiver under her chin as she fired up her PC. 'Yeah. He took her to the park and made her a pudding before tea, and when I came home I made her eat her greens and do her homework. Tell me, Colin, why is it that he always gets to be the fun guy and I get to be the bitch?'

'If it makes you feel any better,' Colin replied with a yawn, 'having been in both of your positions, you've definitely got it easier than him. It's much better being there for the tantrums and wet mattresses every day than getting the treats and the circuses for a few hours a week, believe me.'

'Don't you dare side with him!'

'I'm not, Lynda, I'm just…'

'Well, don't. He's only staying til the weekend, then he's running away to America again.'

'Honestly,' Colin sighed, 'doesn't that man ever think about his Carbon Footprint?'

'Never mind his bloody Carbon Footprint, what about his daughter? As soon as he goes, Emily'll cry for days. Again.' She clicked into her email. 'Hello… I've got something here from you.'

'Oh yeah,' muttered Colin, 'the ad designs you sent me. I looked over them and gave my suggestions, like you asked.'

Lynda opened the attachment. 'Colin. This is a completely different ad.'

'Yeah, well. With all respect, Lynda, there's a reason that you were never involved in the advertising for the Junior Gazette.'

'Because I didn't want to!' Exclaimed Lynda.

'And you keep on telling yourself that, Kid.'

Lynda smiled to herself. It was a good advert. Snappy, eyecatching and just the right side of confrontational. It was exactly the sort of thing that she couldn't come up with – except… she squinted at it.

'This is an advert for a website, not a magazine.'

'Oh. Yep.' Colin yawned again. 'Make it a website. 'S'better. You can have forums, Q&A, networking… friendship… dating, etcetera.'

'Hang on. Hang on.' Lynda scrolled through the notes on Colin's email. 'I'm just reading your proposal. It makes sense.'

'It's not a proposal, Lynda. It's just some ideas. Your target market's single parents, and I should know what it is that we'd find useful.'

'You'd think I'd know, too...'

There was a brief pause in which Lynda knew Colin was shrugging, non-commitally. 'Well, you're still new to this game.'

Lynda stretched. 'I'm going to need somebody who knows their stuff to run it.'

'No.'

'But think of all the people you'd be…'

'No.'

'But you're so good at…'

'Hmm. Do you have tea?'

'Tea? Yes.'

'Lots of tea? Far Eastern? Phone the Chinese Ambassador and get me all the tea they have.'

'Would you do it then?'

'No!'

Lynda frowned, continuing to scroll through the email's text. 'What's this bit at the end…?'

'Oh.' Colin sounded a little embarrassed. 'Um. Yeah. Kind of need to call in one of those babysitting favours next week.'

'You're not going out! You never go out!'

'It's just a cup of coffee, only she doesn't get off work 'til after 6, and…'

'She?' Lynda beamed. 'You're going on a date?'

'It's just coffee! Turns out Graham's new Counsellor's an…'

'You're going on a date with your son's Counsellor?' Lynda pulled a face down the phone. 'Is that allowed?'

'Lynda. Stop. Listen. Coffee. It's just coffee. She's an old friend, that's all. End of conversation.'

'Yes, but what about…'

'End of conversation means end of conversation! Ergo, vis-à-vis, Goodnight Lynda.'

'But the…'

'Goodnight.'

The phone went dead on the other end. Lynda shook her head, and began to draft a reply to Colin's email, trying to wheedle some more ideas out of him.

'Mummy?'

Lynda turned to see Emily standing in the doorway in her pyjamas.

'Oh, hello Ems. I didn't wake you, did I?'

'A little bit.'

Lynda smiled. 'How could I only wake you up a little bit?'

Emily picked at the doorframe. 'Were you talking to Daddy?'

'No, Emily. That was Colin.' Lynda started getting back to her email.

'Is Daddy coming tomorrow?'

'Yes, sweetheart.'

'Is he staying long?'

Lynda turned around to face her daughter again. 'Only for a few days. Then he's going back.'

Emily nodded, blinking back a few tears.

Lynda opened her arms wide to the girl. 'Come here.'

Emily didn't go to her mother, but stayed, sniffing, in the doorway instead.

'Daddy said Colin and Justine never really loved each other, that's why they split up…'

'What a horrible thing for Daddy to say,' frowned Lynda. 'I want you never to repeat that, especially to Graham…'

'Is that why you're splitting up?'

'No. No. You know that's not true.'

'But you don't love each other now…'

Lynda opened her mouth and closed it again a couple of times. 'It's not as simple as all that.'

'Of course it is, Mum!' Emily wiped her eyes, only making way for fresh tears. 'If I love him and you love him, why can't Daddy stay?'

'We've been through this, Ems. We were fighting all the time…'

'You're still always fighting!'

'Emily…'

'Why can't you sort it out, Mum?' Emily screamed, marching back up the stairs. 'Why can't you both just sort it out?'

Lynda winced as her daughter slammed her bedroom door. She closed the half-written reply to Colin. She opened up a new message box and got as far as writing Spike's email address, then quickly leaned over and switched off the computer. She sat at the desk, rubbing her eyes. A couple of birds were starting to sing in the garden. She checked the time. It was nearing five in the morning. She wandered through into the kitchen and put the kettle on. It was going to be another long day.