Chapter five of Soun and Genma's… Operation Conquer the World!
PG-13 Parental Guidance Suggested
This chapter contains material that parents may find unsuitable for younger children. Many parents may want to read it with their younger children. The theme itself may call for parental guidance and/or the program contains one or more of the following: moderate violence (V), some sexual situations (S), infrequent coarse language (L), or some suggestive dialogue (D).
The sudden flash-bang! of the thunderstorm woke Akane from the nightmare just in time… it had almost gotten to the part where Ranma called her PenPen and pulled her up onto the stage with him.
It was even worse than the previous two nights had been. She had tried the age-old, and almost more than cliché, embarrassment-aversion method of imagining the audience in their underwear. The result had been the student body watching her make a fool of herself singing musicals while they stood there in their underwear acting like nothing was wrong. She shuddered as she recalled Hiroshi standing proudly in his size-too-small boxer briefs and hit on everyone who was wearing a bra… including, for some reason, the principal.
"'Take it away PenPen' he says…" Akane muttered under her breath before another lightning strike caused her to jump in surprise. "I'll kill him. That's what I'll do." Akane trailed off into sleep-deprived laughter that would have concerned anyone who heard it.
- - - - - - - - - -
Lightning flashed and briefly illuminated the Tendo's back yard and the figure jumping into it from atop the tall stone wall. The figure landed in a crouch, steadying himself on the soft water-soaked land with one hand just in time to avoid falling into a large puddle of rainwater.
"Today is the day you pay Ranma Saotome." The figure muttered, sinister shadows appearing as he was again briefly illuminated by the storm. Then he turned and made his way to the nearest door, all too happy to get out of the rain for a moment, and to finish business.
- - - - - - - - - -
Soun Tendo was trying not to nod off into sleep, but the late hour, the white noise of the rain outside, and his Deluxe Overstuffed CEO UltraComfort chair all combined to make it very difficult to stay awake tonight. Tonight he needed to stay awake for a very special reason, it would be tested tonight. The very thought of it filled him with an almost schoolboy like glee… unfortunately it didn't give him any energy.
Soun slowly swung around in his chair and faced the big digital clock. The numbers blurred before resolving into a readable time 'Ten minutes.'
He closed his eyes slowly, only to give them a rest he told himself. Then faded into the blackness of a dreamless slumber. Meanwhile, time marched on, as did the icons on his screen, Penguin–Laser & Jamming Brigade 001 (PB&J), Special Penguin Heavy Explosive Unit 013 (Pheu!), the Soun's Advanced Robotic Mech. unit (Soun's Arms), and Hurricane Alphred (Ha!). All the icons converging on a small island off the coast of Florida, Cuba, or as it was labeled on-screen "Penguin Invasion Point Alpha" (PIP-α).
It was intuitively obvious to the casual observer, had there actually been any casual observers in Soun's secret underground lab and control center, that PIP-α would be in the news in the morning, either as a disaster site or as a natural-disaster site.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ryoga Hibiki pulled open the door to the toolshed for the fourth time in fifteen minutes. He didn't want to admit it, but he had to, he was lost… lost in the backyard of his enemy and rival Ranma Saotome.
"Well, " Ryoga sighed as he looked across the shelves of tools, "as long as I'm here I guess I can get out of the rain for a few minutes, at least I can hope the rain will let up."
As Ryoga entered the small shack lightning flashed and hailstones joined the rainfall. First the hail was the size of grape-seeds then the size of grapes themselves. Ryoga was glad he'd found some shelter, he'd have hated to have his umbrella torn to shreds. He would not like to be drenched out there in that icy cold rain.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ranma Saotome was currently asleep, though that wouldn't last long. A bolt of lightning struck close-by and the resulting thunderclap literally shook him out of his sleep. He tossed and turned for a while before pulling his pillow over his head and trying to go to sleep for a while.
Sometime later, Ranma didn't know, he threw his pillow aside in disgust. He wasn't going to get any more sleep tonight. 'Well, not unless…' Ranma smiled as he thought up an excellent idea to get back to sleep. He'd seen his dad use it several times, and Mr. Tendo used it almost every night.
"'Sake, sake, drinking sake…" Ranma sang tunelessly as he made his way down the hallway and into the kitchen where Mr. Tendo kept his booze. Nightcaps were supposed to help one sleep after all.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ryoga stood around for a while, trying to wait patiently, but he couldn't. He was just too close, Ranma was just yards away and he couldn't find him. "Damn you Ranma." the Hibiki boy muttered as he leaned against a shelf, particularly a Harley Davidson chainsaw.
He was more than a bit surprised when the whole interior of the toolshed sank into the ground, and moments later when the door opened he was even more surprised.
There he was in a place crammed with machinery and nameless devices, that looked like something off of an old 60s movie producer's lot. Huge whatchamacallits spring from the floor, while doodlebops hung around from various racks and support lines, but that was all nothing compared to the long-haired man sleeping in a chair in front huge wall of monitors, that guy was truly impressive.
"How could anyone sleep in here with all this racket?" Ryoga muttered, though it was lost in whine of various whatchamacallits and the drone of doodlebops that populated the underground room.
"I think I'd better get out of here…" Ryoga said to himself, looking for the chainsaw that would take him back. He only lost his way twice, though he did bump into several control panels, hitting buttons, turning knobs, and twisting odd dials before he made it back into the old toolshed.
"Well that was weird." Ryoga muttered to himself as he looked oddly at the chainsaw. Ryoga wondered why anyone would actually have hidden rooms in their homes in this day and age and came up blank. 'Oh well, like it really matters…' Ryoga thought to himself as he looked out the toolshed's open door and out into the wet and chill night. "It looks like the storm's let up a bit, at least it's not hailing anymore. Guess now's as good a time as any to try to find the Tendo's main house." He said aloud as he stepped out onto the muddy lawn.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ranma grabbed a random bottle, uncorked it, and took several big swigs in one quick motion… just before his toes involuntarily curled and his face twisted unnaturally in ways that no mortal should ever witness.
"Ugh! Yuck!" Ranma said, or rather tried to say, as he scrubbed futilely at the foul taste on his tongue. "I don't know how they do it." Ranma said with a newfound respect for the Tendo patriarch and even his own father, though that one was rather grudgingly given.
Ranma looked at the label now, Whiskey. Of all the things he had to grab the whiskey first. "I should have read the label first I guess." Ranma muttered to himself as he pulled himself to his feet.
He reached for another bottle, grabbed the top, hesitated, and then read the label. Vodka. Well, that couldn't be too bad, right? He unscrewed the top and drank a medium-sized portion… then collapsing on the floor in a coughing fit as it burned through his throat and stomach.
"Oh, God!" Ranma moaned when the coughing subsided, "How can anybody actually drink this stuff?"
Ranma put the vodka and whisky away and shut the liquor-cabinet, with hopes of getting to the kitchen and drowning the horrid aftertaste that lingered in his mouth with a newfound dryness that made deserts look moist.
"Ranma Saotome, prepare to die!" Ryoga screamed and leapt at Ranma as soon as he rounded the corner.
Ranma was, needless to say, surprised at seeing his old schoolmate attacking him in the middle of the night. "Ryoga! Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Silence you fool! Does revenge know night or day? Week or month?" Ryoga retorted as he lunged with his umbrella.
"No, I actually wanted to know the actual time." Ranma flippantly replied as he dodged to the side., though it seemed that Ryoga had grown a bit quicker from the last time they'd fought… if you'd really want to call that schoolyard scuffle a fight.
"What!?" Ryoga asked, so surprised that he couldn't really believe what he was hearing. Ranma asking him the time… in the middle of their belated man-to-man duel.
"The time, the time!" Ranma insisted, "I know you know the time." Ranma repeated, emphasizing his point with several jabs of his finger into Ryoga's chest.
"What does time have to do with anything!?" Ryoga bellowed as he threw a punch at Ranma.
"What whad abou da… time?" Ranma asked as he staggered out of the way of Ryoga's punch. Was it him or was the room really spinning? Ranma scratched his head as he seemed to wobble fist one direction than another. "I wanna know wheeeen Mr. Tendoooooo put a-ahhh! roller-coaster in hereeeeee!"
"Grrr! Ranma!" Rouga yelled as he executed a perfect flying kick into the spot Ranma had staggered away from a bare instant before. "Stay still so I can kill you, will you?"
"Wha'd I vaunt da do that?" Ranma asked as he continued to dance, or rather stagger drunkenly about Ryoga, completely oblivious to the other's growing rage.
- - - - - - - - - -
There was a knock at the door that interrupted the youngest Tendo girl's fit of insomniacly-induced giggling.
"Huh?" Akane blinked and seemed to regain her sanity, "Who's there?"
"It's me Akane." came Kasumi's voice. There was a hint of worry in it that in turn worried Akane. "I think there's a robber downstairs."
"A robber!" Akane jumped out of bed, grabbed her training sword and swung open the bedroom door. "I'll get him with this!" Akane laughed what might have been an insane laugh but Kasumi took it only as an overconfident one.
"No, Akane! It could be dangerous." Kasumi insisted as she grabbed Akane and pulled her back into her room. "Use this." Kasumi placed a sharp-edged five pound dumbbell into her hand.
"Right!" Akane said as she turned around and marched out ready to confront any prowler, burglar, or intruder that might be unwise enough to cross her path that night with an inordinate amount of violence.
Akane giggled, she really hoped it was just Ranma.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Ranma!" Ryoga shouted as Ranma stumbled past him and out the back door into the rain. "It's no use running away!" Ryoga shouted as he followed him out into the rain… only to see him become a her.
"Ranma!" Ryoga gasped in disbelief. One moment he was Ranma, the next he was a cute girl. Ryoga's mind struggled to put the two together but failed, though he would have been closer if he'd just jumped to the conclusion that Ranma Saotome was a foul magic-wielding sorcerer trying to rob his prey away with his deplorable machinations. Though as it was, Ryoga simply thought that, despite keeping his eyes on Ranma the whole time, he'd gotten away again.
"Excuse me miss." Ryoga said with a deep bow, bowing was always the safest course of action he'd learned in his lost dealings with many cultures. "You wouldn't happened to have seen a cowardly martial-artist running away like a whipped dog, would you have?" Ryoga asked as he indicated Ranma's approximate height when he was male.
"Goward! Bwhy you!" The cute, red-headed girl shouted as she spun around and kicked at Ryoga… though she missed by a good eight inches and the momentum tripped her up and sent her falling into one of the numerous puddles.
Ryoga gasped when he saw the cute girl fall in the mud like that and rushed over to help her up, like a proper gentleman, he even tried to share his umbrella in a futile gesture to keep her from getting wet.
"Damn him!" Ryoga growled, "I followed him around the world, across Europe, to China, to Mexico, even that place where the people wear the funny red dot on their forehead!"
"You mean India?" Ranma slurred dryly. 'Wait did he say China? Does that mean…' Ranma looked intently up at ryoga trying to think, but she couldn't seem to think straight.
Lightning flashed illuminating everything for an instant by bathing it in a searing white-hot light just before a truly terrifying scream pierced the night.
- - - - - - - - - -
Akane jumped as the flash of lightning startled her. She was surprised to see Ranma, for it could only be him, holding an umbrella and packed as if to go on a year-long training trip. And he was consorting with another girl! 'Ranma! What, I'm not good enough for you!? You're just going to pack your bags and leave with the next pretty face you meet, is that it? Even after you ruined my life!?'
"Eyah!" Akane shrieked as she threw the weight in her hand and continued with a shrill yell. "That's for ruining my life Ranma!"
The weight sped through the air, a deadly, or at least painful, ballistic. It hit Ryoga in the head, sending him sprawling backwards, and then proceeded to smash Ranma's foot along with the umbrella Ryoga dropped.
'Ranma!?' Ryoga thought, then he ran off in the direction that the projectile had been thrown. Since it had been thrown in that direction Ranma had to be that way. He would find him this time.
- - - - - - - - - -
Akane was pleased to hear the twin yelps of pain. 'That was so refreshing.' she thought to her self as she started to congratulate herself on scaring off the predator. "Yep, chalk another one up for Akane Tendo, Martial Artist and Pervert Buster!"
"Akane…" Kasumi said, trying to unobtrusively point out that the girl in the yard was Ranma.
"What is it Kasumi?" Akane asked with a joyous smile plastered to her face.
Kasumi pointed outside at Ranma, who seemed to be very dizzy, what with the way she was stumbling about.
Akane's smile slid off her face as she recognized Ranma. "That Pervert!" was all she could yell, he wasn't running off with another girl… he was running off with another guy! "Just wait till I tell daddy about this." She grumbled to herself as she walked to the back door, shut it, and locked it.
"Eeey!" Ranma yelled outside, pounding on the door, "Udd'd you do da fo'?" Though, nobody really heard Ranma because it had started to hail again.
- - - - - - - - - -
"That's odd." Soun Tendo said as he gingerly stepped over the sleeping form of Ranma Saotome, curled up on the porch for some reason. Perhaps it was some form of martial art training… he'd have to ask Genma about that.
Soun looked around the livingroom at everyone gathered there. It must have been later than he thought. The big digital-clock in his command center had been unplugged sometime during the night and he'd missed the chance to witness the very first penguin invasion in realtime.
"Hello everyone!" He said jovially, it was strange, but he didn't feel all that bad about missing the battle and not being able to supervise. Even the communication equipment that had been fried during a lightning strike the previous night wasn't enough to dampen his spirits… in fact he almost looked forward to reading the paper with "Penguins Invade Cuba" plastered across the front page. "Does anyone know why Ranma's sleeping on the back porch?"
"Cause he's a pervert." Akane stated dryly, her eyes seemed sunken and black, like she'd not been getting enough sleep recently.
"Huh? What do you mean by that?" Soun asked as he paused unrolling his newspaper, his curiosity piqued.
Akane related the story of thinking that he was running off withe another girl, and then the even worse sin of actually running off with another guy. Genma was shocked by the story and throughout denied that his son was like that, and to prove that Ranma wasn't he went and retrieved his wayward child in a manner not unreminiscent of a mother cat hauling a kitten around by the scruff of its neck.
"Now, Ranma tell Mr. Tendo you're not gay" Genma prodded the still groggy Ranma.
"What?" Ranma asked, not believing that he was being questioned about this, he was after all a man among men… despite his current feminine body.
"Now!" Genma all but shouted. He couldn't believe that he was being asked to prove Ranma wasn't really some pervert.
"Aghhh!" Ranma shut her eyes and hugged herself trying to drown out the savage headache. "Not so loud!"
"Well boy?" Soun was leaning over intrusively. "Are you?"
"No! I'm no stinkin fag!" Ranma screeched, then passed out, the pain from the headache being to much.
"See?" Genma pointed out, "I told you."
"Quite right Saotome… Though I must say that kids these days have no stamina." Soun said as he nodded at the collapsed form of Ranma, then turned back to his newspaper freezing as he read the headline… the sheer shock of seeing the headline - Hurricane Mysteriously Deposits Penguins in Cuba, Leaves Mass Destruction - wouldn't wear off for a couple of hours… and he wouldn't stop crying until mid-afternoon.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ranma tried to be very still in classes, he didn't want to make any sudden movements or be yelled at by the teachers. Not that he payed attention of course. His thoughts kept returning to the muddled memories of the fight the night before as he fingered the red material of the heavy umbrella he'd found in the back yard that morning tearing it even more than last night's hail had.
'Did Ryoga say China? If so, does that mean that he had a curse as well?' Ranma decided to wait and see… maybe he'd try some of that scientific method the teachers were always harping about and douse the lost-boy with water the next time he dared to show his face. Ranma grinned at that, the thought of messing with Ryoga felt strangely comfortable… maybe, if the curse was somehow bad enough, he could blackmail him with that, too.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ryoga Hibiki growled as he wrung the stream water out of his clothes, it hadn't been a good day, not at all. He hadn't been able to find Saotome, and he'd gotten all wet in his last set of clean clothes. One of the first things Ryoga had learned was to keep his clothes as clean and dry as possible. It took a long time to find a new set when you were wandering all around parts of nowhere, miles from civilization.
"I can't believe he got away…" Ryoga didn't know wether to be furious or depressed and then thought of how he'd been trapped out in the cold rain without his umbrella, and how long it had taken him to warm up even with the hot-water from his travel kettle. 'Depressed, I should be depressed.'
And so Ryoga Hibiki settled on a depressed stewing. "I can't go back to the Tendo Dojo, Ranma wouldn't be there so soon after I spooked him off. I don't think he'd go back to Ohio, I mean it is in the middle of Africa… And Canada's right in the middle of the Pakistan/India war… maybe he went to South America, I don't think he's been there yet…" Ryoga sighed, he had no real idea as to where Ranma would have fled. "I suppose I could try to go home for a while. Who knows, I might get lucky and meet dad or mom there."
Ryoga tilted his head as he thought he heard murmurings, and not the murmuring of the stream, something more like people… the sounds of people, especially girls, giggling, and a few young men talking in subdued tones. Ryoga took a deep breath and, steeling himself for the worst, nervously turned around to find himself in front of half the student body of Furinkan High.
"Heh, heh… heh." Was all that Ryoga could manage as he stood, frozen in place, staring into the crowd. He felt his face start to turn from pink to bright red to a burning fire from all the embarrassment. Two-thirds of the crowd was probably female, and watching him do his laundry in his boxers. Ryoga was only dimly aware of a young man saying something about it probably being illegal to do that on school property as he began to feel faint and heard something that roused him completely.
"Ranma, you jerk!". Akane shouted as she punted him into the crowd of students.
"Ow… that really hurts." Ranma muttered as he disentangled himself from various students and accidently dropped Ryoga's tattered red umbrella as he pulled himself free of the crowd . "I don't see what her problem was I just said for her to 'take it away', I don't want to eat any of that lunch. It looks poisonous."
That was when he found himself face-to-face with Ryoga. He couldn't help the sly grin that crept to his face, which meant that he would never be as conniving as Nabiki, but then again, he didn't really want to be, but if it meant he could afford to buy something other than Akane's home-made pig-slop for lunch he'd gladly blackmail the Hibiki boy. "Hey, Ryoga! Long time no… wait, I saw you last-night."
"Ranma Saotome! Prepare to die!" Ryoga yelled in ever increasing volumes as he dove past the other martial artist and came up with his tattered umbrella.. "Thanks to you I've been to El Paso and back!"
Ranma paused, allowing the umbrella thrust to come perilously close, "El… Paso?" As he finished he dodged, barely escaping a direct hit. Although the umbrella did rip open a big hole in the chest of his shirt.
"Ryoga! This was my favorite shirt!" Ranma yelled as he charged, knocking the umbrella out of Ryoga's hand with a kick and retaliated with a vicious uppercut that sent Ryoga reeling back.
Hiroshi looked at the umbrella that landed in front of him, the way it landed made him think it was heavy but the way Ryoga had been swinging it made it look rather light, and Ranma had been playing with it most of the school-day. Curious as to it's true weight he bent down and picked it up, or rather tried to… it had to have been at least thirty pounds, maybe even fifty or sixty. "Wow, this is heavy." Hiroshi grunted to Daisuke.
"I knew you were out of shape Hiroshi, but not being able to pick up an umbrella is ridiculous!" Daisuke retorted with a snort as he bent over to pick the umbrella up. "You're right! It is heavy… but I still stand bu my comment." Daisuke said as he hefted the umbrella with both hands up to his shoulder and fell over backwards.
Meanwhile, Ryoga was fending off Ranma's savage counterattack. The shirt thing had him really pissed for some reason. Ryoga decided to use it to his advantage and taunt him a bit. "It was only a shirt. Ranma, quit acting like a girl!"
"Who are you calling a girl?!" Ranma yelled back as he released a good hit on Ryoga.
"You!" Ryoga responded deftly as he jumped up on top of a chain-link fence that surrounded the school's baseball field. Ryoga grunted to himself, he hadn't been deep in the forest after all, then began removing bandannas from his head.
'What's that jerk doing now?' Ranma asked himself as he broke into a dash towards where the other boy was precariously parched.
"Take this Ranma!" Ryoga yelled as he released a handful of bandannas, somehow he's managed to hone them to a razor edge and throw them like boomerangs.
Ranma had to alter his strategy from the 'head on' approach to more of a 'dodge-like-mad-so-as-to-not-be-skewered' approach.
"Ryoga!" Ranma yelled as he landed in a flip and kicked the fence Ryoga was balanced on and causing him to fall over on the other side.
By the time Ranma vaulted over the fence Ryoga was throwing bandannas as he leapt backwards, drawing Ranma out into the open area of the baseball field. 'Why's he bringing me out here?' Ranma wondered, feeling a slight bit of uneasiness, it almost felt as if he was being led somewhere. 'Whatever it is I can't just let him set the rules of the game.' Ranma thought as he dodged past Ryoga in a wide circular path. 'I've got to make him fight on my terms.'
"What are you doing Ranma? Are you afraid? Did you finally figure out that I'm too much for you to handle?" Ryoga asked, laughter and amusement edging his voice. "I'm going to take your happiness away from you!"
"What happiness!?" Ranma yelled back as he backpedaled out of the ballpark.
"No you don't Ranma!!" Ryoga roared as he leapt towards the other martial artist, "I won't let you get away again!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Akane felt bad, maybe she shouldn't have been so hard on Ranma. The food she offered him did look horrible, and it smelt even worse, like a dead and rotting skunk stir-fried with stinkweed and lots of onions. And she did hit him with a dumbbell, the hexagon shaped one too. As akane mulled all this over she began to feel bad about what she'd done to Ranma, he hadn't deserved the half of it. She sighed, turned on her heel, and marched back to the crowd where Ranma had landed.
Now that she thought about it she could have hurt someone, punting Ranma into a crowd, why if his skull had hit anyone… Akane shuddered as she remembered a scene from an American Civil War movie where a soldier got his leg blown off with a cannonball.
Akane heard a "Gahh! Get off! Get off!" coming from near her feet where she'd paused for a moment.
Looking down she saw she was standing on Daisuke. He seemed to be struggling under her feet and under the umbrella that Ranma had been carrying around all morning. Akane jumped back, off of Daisuke, and then pulled the heavy umbrella off him.
"How did that Ryoga guy swing it around like it was nothing?" She heard Daisuke asking no-one in particular.
'Wait… if he swings this umbrella like it was nothing…' Akane thought, "Ranma!" she yelled as she sprinted off in the direction the pig-tailed martial artist had gone.
- - - - - - - - - -
"You won't run away from me again Ranma!" Ryoga yelled as he simultaneously leapt and punched at Ranma.
Ranma spun around, dodging the blow, but his counter came up empty when Ryoga blocked instead. Ranma then found his fist firmly wrapped with several of Ryoga's bandannas, tying their fists together.
"That'll stop you from running away from me!" Ryoga screamed as he wrapped another bandanna around their fists and tied it one-handed. Something struck him how it was similar to Indian wrestling.
"Now watch this!" Ryoga smirked as he pulled off his belt with his other hand and with a flick of his wrist it abruptly gained a rigid straightness. Ryoga chuckled as he said "You'll like what happens next."
"Ranma!!"
"What?!" Ranma turned as he heard Akane call his name… only to be whacked on the head with the flat part of Ryoga's belt. "Ow."
"Ranma, don't let him get near you! He's as strong as an ox!" Akane yelled back.
Whack! Ryoga hit Ranma with another flick of his wrist. Then turned his head and smiled as he yelled over his shoulder. "He's already found out! But thank you anyway!"
Ranma dodged Ryoga's next hit, twisting and turning to avoid being belted in the head yet again.
The way Ryoga was thrown momentarily off-balance when he did so gave Ranma an idea which he quickly put into motion. He pulled one way, then as Ryoga brought his belt down he pulled the other way, throwing a good kick to the wrist that held the belt.
Ryoga grunted as he saw himself lose his belt, things seemed to be going in slow motion now… Ranma was pulling himself between his legs and using their tied arms to his own advantage. This couldn't be happening. 'Not after what he did.' Ryoga shouted an incoherent bellow full of rage as he used his free arm to catapult himself, and Ranma, through the ballpark fence and into a tree that grew nearby.
Ranma was surprised that Ryoga had ben able to throw them both through the fence and into the tree. This surprise was, however, dampened by the extreme need for that one experiences after having the wind knocked out of them.
"Ranma!" Akane yelled in astonishment as she watched the other boy throw himself and Ranma into the tree. She had to do something before Ranma got himself hurt. "Ranma!" she yelled again, her hair flung out behind her as she started running forward… when she felt rather than heard something rush down just behind her. For some reason her head felt, lighter. 'How odd…' she thought before she raised her hand to the back of her head and encountered nothing, or rather the absence of hair.
"I'm going to kill them!" Akane growled, no longer thinking rationally. All she saw was the two fighters in red. Everything was red now.
- - - - - - - - - -
Meanwhile, oblivious to the youngest Tendo sister, Ryoga and Ranma had both recovered their breath enough to resume their fighting. And continue they did, with a renewed zeal, Ranma trying to pull Ryoga off balance and attack, whilst Ryoga was busy countering Ranma's effort to pull him around and attacking when the opportunity presented it.
The fight seemed over when Ranma pulled in hard with his tied wrist as he punched as powerful a jab as he could into Ryoga's face. Ryoga, the yellow clad boy, staggered about with his eyes rolling as if fixed on a moving spot and almost collapsed, almost.
Ryoga instinctively countered as soon as he could do anything, he tried to fling the offending martial artist away, forgetting for the moment that they were still tied together with his own bandannas.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ranma was getting annoyed, 'It's all this stupid bandanna!' Ranma thought to himself. Sure, he'd used it to his advantage, but Ryoga was using it to his own advantage too. Ranma was getting tired of having to cramp his fighting style. So, while they were flying through the air, he flipped his feet up to Ryoga's body and pulled at the bandannas with all his might. There was a sound of joints being pulled out of place accompanied by the ripping of cloth.
"Yes, I'm free!" Ranma yelled triumphantly… just before he saw where he was going to land. The zoo, and not just any part of the zoo, one of the aquatic areas. Ranma sighed, nothing ever seemed to work out for him.
"Ranma! Just wait till I find you…" Ryoga yelled as he fell to the other end of the exhibit.
"I can't wait." Ranma said dryly as he impacted the icy cold water. Ranma, now female, emerged from the water a few minutes later as a shivering redheaded girl… 'Just what animal is in here anyway?' Ranma thought, pulling herself onto the shore. Only to find herself looking into the eyes of a very angry flightless water foul.
"Waaark!" The penguin cried as it grabbed her by the pigtail and flung Ranma side-to-side pounding him into the ground multiple times.
"Penguins… Why'd it have to be penguins?" Ranma muttered, stumbling about from the sudden and intense beating he'd just received.
Ranma blinked a few times and shook his head to clear it. That penguin was wearing, 'No! It can't be…' Ranma thought as he looked at the penguin, which he now realized was wearing Ryoga's bandanna around its neck. Ranma was about to give chase when the offending bird dove into the water and disappeared.
"Ryoga…" Ranma trailed off, sure she'd been thinking of blackmailing the other
martial artist with his curse… "But penguins?" Ranma scratched his head bewildered for several moments.
"How'd they even get to China to drown?!" Ranma yelled to an audience consisting of the completely empty exhibit, a landscaping rock, and a dripping wet Ryoga Hibiki.
"Ranma! Is that you boy?!" Soun shouted towards the two martial artists. He had been very surprised by the sudden appearance of the two, falling out of the sky like that.
"What? Where?" Ryoga asked as he swung his head in every direction looking for the male version of Ranma. "Where is he?"
Ranma looked up towards the Tendo patriarch and squinted trying to make out who he was with. "Yeah, it's me Mr. Tendo." Ranma yelled back, before realizing her mistake and clasping a hand over her mouth.
"What?!" Ryoga exploded, "You're Ranma?"
Ranma just looked sheepish and nodded, "I got cursed to turn into a girl… go ahead and laugh." Ranma looked down at her feet, twiddling with the ripped chest of her shirt, not even realizing how immodest it was.
"Laugh? Why would I laugh?" Ryoga asked in a bewildered tone. Not that he wouldn't laugh at Ranma, just that he didn't understand what was going on, one minute they were fighting then Ranma was just talking. Something just didn't seem right about that.. Ryoga stood speechless for several moments. 'I've gotta something else… quick!'
"You call yourself cursed with a cute body like that?" Ryoga said before he even thought about what he was saying. 'What? Wait, what did I just say?' Ryoga couldn't believe himself, 'Did I just call Ranma cute? That's... that's... DISGUSTING!'
Just then Akane came running up. She looked around and was about to vault over the wall and give Ranma a piece of her mind, a very physical piece, when a hand grabbed her shoulder ans kept her from moving.
What is it Akane?" Soun asked, sensing his daughter's disturbed emotional state, but not looking at her directly. He was still intently watching the female-Ranma and the other boy, he didn't really trust Ranma's denials earlier and it seemed almost like she was flaunting her chest at the other boy. "What has you all worked up?"
"My… hair." Akane growled, resisting the urge to bite her father's hand after shaking it off.
"What happene–" Soun cut himself off as he looked at Akane for the first time. He stood there a second and then burst into tears, "This is so awful… who could have done such a thing? Who could have done this to my daughter? Giving her such a bad haircut… it's unforgivable!"
Akane growled again, her father was right. It was time to punish them. With a wordless yell she leapt over the wall at Ranma screaming his name as she flew through the air.
Ranma, on the other hand wasn't about to just stand there and let Akane land a solid hit… but he wasn't going to run away from her either, so he simply sidestepped several paces. Just enough to stay out of her reach and aggravate her.
"This is for my hair!!" Akane screamed as she rushed towards the pigtailed martial artist.
Ryoga rushed forward and placed himself between the two. He wasn't really thinking about it, if he had been he wouldn't have done it, but his parents had brought him up to be polite and protect womenfolk. "Wait! It's all my fault… it was my duel and my weapon that cut you, hit me instead."
"Fine!"Akane yelled as she punched him as hard as she could, complete with a running start and a good follow-through.
Ryoga went sailing into the landscaping rock in the middle of the exhibit. The rock shattered as he hit it with forces best left to small planets and other astral bodies.
- - - - - - - - - -
Several days later Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki were sitting in the livingroom watching tv, when Ranma abruptly jumped up and yelled "I remember!"
"What?" Nabiki asked dryly, though she really was interested. Ranma didn't care much about school, so that was out of the picture, and he didn't have much of a social life, so it wasn't that… what else was there?
"Why Ryoga and me were fighting!" Ranam said proudly, as if the feat of remembering why a particular person was trying to kill you was impressive. Then again, with Ranma's personality it may very well have been.
"Oh, why's that?" Ahkane asked, her curiosity piqued. She had been wondering that ever since Ryoga had attacked him in the middle of the schoolyard.
"It's the cheese war!" Ranma said, as if that explained everything.
"Cheese…" Nabiki started incredulously.
"War?" Akane finished the question.
"Sure." Ranma stated with a shrug.
"We got into this little argument at school…" Ranma began, "It was an all-boy's school and"
Ranma had to wait for the "What?", "Ranma, you went to an all boy's school?" and "Did you get hit on? I bet you got asked out a lot." reactions to die down before he could continue.
"Hey… I was always a boy back there!" Ranma sighed, "Anyway, one day I'm minding my own business, going to get some lunch, when… the lunch-lady announces that due to budget cutbacks to the education funding we wouldn't get any more cooked meals."
"Well, after the riot died down, the lunch-lady, Beatrice I think her name was, told us that we did have enough money to buy a half-pound of cheese for every student… but that there wasn't enough time to hand them out and that they'd just throw them out at us. "
"As it happened, Ryoga and I were always the last to get out of our permanent detention classroom and so we always arrived when the last block of cheese was being thrown out... and every time, as we raced for that cheesy lunch, we would be tied until I broke into the lead at the last moment and got the cheese."
Akane looked at Ranma disbelievingly, "I can't believe that you'd get into such a big fight over cheese!"
Nabiki nodded, "It's not like you couldn't have brought a lunch to school every once in a while… then he'd have gotten to eat sometime too."
"Well, I suppose…" Ranma admitted grudgingly. True he'd never thought of sharing or letting Ryoga get it, but this was 100 pure cheese they were talking about here, not some vegetables or sandwiches.
"Seriously Ranma, you should apologize." Akane continued as she got up to leave. "I wonder where that poor boy is now…"
- - - - - - - - - -
"Where on earth am I now?!" Ryoga cried to the heavens, as he asked himself the same question.
Author's Notes: Here we are, chapter five's up! Yes, I did a search for 'hell city' on MSN and El Paso came up hit number five. Just remember "A greater hive of scum and villainy you will not find".
The other day we were doing haiku in my imaginative writing class and I came up with several. However, I'll treat you to one in particular that was based on the current synopsis… maybe it'll replace it? What do you think?
To conquer the world
Soun and Genma's great sacrifice
exploding penguins.