Author's Notes: This is a 'fuck you very much' to my friend Fluffy, known also as Grayout and Atreylune. He's to blame for this because of his of his story Epitaph. Go read it. This is rather short, but it's cute in and of itself.

Theme: Outsides

Words We Cannot Say

Over the years Reeve had come to know better than to expect the words he needed to hear most said to him. Other words were used in their place, assuring him that his presence was appreciated, even enjoyed, but he'd been forced to take those few things as life-preservers when he just couldn't be sure anymore. There were the little things that implied it, but the fact remained that they would never be said, probably because they couldn't be.

Everyone in Shin-Ra knew that it was impossible to love a Turk. It was because they lacked any real emotion, because they were such masterful liars that they actually believed their own words. They said that because of that you really couldn't trust them enough to risk giving a single one of them your heart. The employees said that doing such a thing would leave you broken, or worse. Reeve had never really believed it, until now.

Here he laid for the hundredth time, holding another body against his own, enjoying the warmth and running his fingers through the glorious golden strains. The words he had given so freely but moments before hung heavily in the air, causing the one he laid with to tense up. Reeve's lover was practically a Turk, and thus the revelation had obviously unnerved the person.

"Reeve… I… You know that I care for you but…"

The executive shook his head and rested his head upon that of his love. Carefully he pressed his lips to those of his lover, knowing that he just couldn't stand to hear the truth spoken from them again. Since he couldn't hear what he wanted, what he needed, he didn't want to hear ANYTHING.

When his lover finally fell asleep Reeve rose stealthily, something he learned from his golden haired love, and quietly changed. A duffle bag was retrieved from the living room near the door, and soon filled with all of the possessions he had come to leave here. With bag full, he returned to the doorway of the bedroom two watch the almost-Turk sleep. The gentle rise and fall of the chest, the splay of gold upon the white pillows almost looking like a halo, all of it made him want to stay, want to change his mind, but he couldn't. It was too much to go on with this anymore. How could he really be loved when the words didn't reach his ears?

Finally the man just sighed and turned away from the sight in the bed. It was almost amazing that he actually reached the door this time, that he hand came to rest upon the door knob. This was the tenth time this month he'd tried to leave, only to find his will shattered when he noticed some joint possession of theirs, or a piece of clothing he'd been given, or just in watching his lover sleep. This time… Reeve was really going to do it, wasn't he? When his hand turned the knob and the light of the hall reached his eyes, he realized that this time, it was really happening.

Nothing shocked the man more than the fact that this time he was really able to reach into the bag and pull out the letter written months ago and still hadn't had the nerve to use. Okay, so maybe the actual placing of the letter on the table by the door shocked him more. No, it was the fact he had actually closed the door that shocked him. Reeve heard the lock snap into place behind him, and knew that now it was too late to go back. The keys were inside, the letter was inside, his lover was inside. Such was the shock that Reeve had to sit down in front of the door for a few minutes to process it. Had he really done it? Was this really happening?

After a few minutes the man rose from the floor and shouldered the duffle bag. Shoes, silent ones as he had always worn around work and for which Reno teased him about taking after Turks by using, made no sound on the carpeted floor as he walked solemnly down the hall, disbelief still clouding his thought process. For some reason his fingers brushed over his lips, thinking of the recent kiss shared with his former lover. All of this was too much to really take in.

The lived in the same building… or at least both had minor apartments in the Shin-Ra building, so it did not take Reeve long to get into the apartment where he'd weather the personal storm resulting from this for a few days. Then he'd slink back to his home and recover from all that had happened. In the safety of his apartment Reeve dropped his duffle bag and set about the final step… ridding himself of anything that reminded him of what had just taken place, something that might or might not have been the biggest mistake of his life.

It was another thirty minutes before he was done and only one thing was left. Now Reeve sat on his couch, looking at a picture frame made of obsidian and staring at the face of his former lover. The golden hair, the flawless skin… No, he wouldn't think of it. With a toss he threw the picture to the trash can, knowing that if he looked at it again he would decide he was no longer sane, and that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. And Reeve knew it was his fault, for wearing his heart on his sleeve, for trying to teach someone trained in the Turk manner to love. Now it was over, and he could never really return to that apartment, or even his ex's office, not without remembering what he'd done to need escaping, to need getting out of something that had, in the long run, ruined everything.

A letter came the next day, and he couldn't figure out just how to react. Should he feel hurt, or relieved was the question that Reeve knew he'd never be able to answer.

Reeve,

I understand, and frankly, I'm surprised this didn't come up sooner. With me being who I am and you being who you are, this was kind of doomed from the beginning. But know this, I don't hold it against you. It isn't that your love wasn't enough for me, just that I could never be able to return it. Forgive me for leading you on and for not being able to find it in me to be angry, or hurt, or even the slightest bit affected in any way at all. Do know this though, it was good while it lasted, and I would suggest you don't try such a silly stunt as try to win those like me over again.

-Rufus