Chapter 5

"Well this is news," I said in surprise.

"What am I going to do?" he asked desperately, still not looking too thrilled with me.

I shrugged, "If she loves you then I don't really think there is much to worry about Conner. It's not all your fault. I was the one who didn't tell you," I pointed out.

"Like I could forget that little detail," he volleyed back, sounding bitter.

He gave me a look that told me that he thought this was all my fault but I just stood up straighter and looked him straight in the eyes, "You cannot create a child by yourself, lover boy."

I know that if a man I loved said that he had a child that he didn't even know was around until recently, sure I would be mad, but I don't think that I would break up with him though. That's a lot to give up. No man is perfect. Then again how can I really say how I would react since I've never been in this situation?

Why did I come back to this hell hole? I thought desperately in a moment of weakness.

Conner looked like he wanted me here as much as I did. I felt a little bad for him considering I might have helped ruined his life, but I just allowed myself to not forget that this wasn't my entire fault. If he had thought about anyone but himself for at least two seconds we might not be in this situation.

In all of this I had to keep myself from forgetting that I had to do the right thing for my son, because he was the only one that mattered.

"I'm marrying Teddy in two weeks! What am I going to do," he groaned.

I rolled my eyes at this. It was just like a man to sit around and pout and not do anything, but think of themselves.

"You're really proving to me that your father material here Conner. Can you think of anyone but yourself for even two seconds?"

He looked slightly guilty, and I had a brief moment of happiness, but I couldn't ignore that I didn't feel right all of the sudden. I was trying to ignore it, but it was getting difficult. I don't know why, but suddenly I found that it was hard to breath. Why I was affected by the fact that Conner was getting married, I did not know. Did I have feelings for Conner, or did I just really pity him for falling in love and being engaged to a woman named Teddy.

Who in gods name names a child that? It sounds like a stripper name. Was Conner getting married to a stripper? I almost cracked up laughing over my insane thoughts, but then it hit me that I had helped Conner ruin his life and I would have to help fix it if I ever wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror ever again. This whole situation was becoming too much for me. I had to worry about my son, and now a future marriage.

"Allow me a selfish moment here Liz. What am I suppose to say to my fiancée Liz? 'Good morning, darling, you'll never guess what I found out yesterday. I'M A FATHER!"

"Calm down and shut up. I would have never kept this from you if I thought that you thought about anyone, but yourself. You are not proving to me that you changed much in these past years. This is your fault to you know. I wanted to tell you about this baby," I said my voice on the verge of cracking, "I would have told you if you had called or wrote a card. Did you do any of those though?!"

"NO!" I answered for him not waiting for an answer.

"Even when you took off I didn't get a goodbye, a kiss my ass, anything! In the months that followed I didn't get shit either. The last thing I was thinking about when I kept this new from you was myself. Take one moment and think about your son. Would you please?" I begged.

He looked like I had just kicked him. I think it was taking hold that he had helped create this situation by running away all those years ago. I wanted to feel bad for him, but that was the last emotion I felt. I was feeling a lot of things but pity for my ex-lover was not one of them. I wanted to just walk away, but I knew that I couldn't allow myself to until we had solved something.

Conner had to figure out how he was going to deal with the fact that he was a father. I on the other hand had to figure out how I was going to make this situation right for him so he didn't lose his fiancée. No matter what I told Conner or how much blame I put on him. I was still at least partly responsible for this situation that we had found ourselves in.

"I don't know what I'm going to do Liz," he admitted quietly, no evidence of his previous anger left.

I felt bad for him I really did, but I had to say it, "I understand this is tough on you Conner. I feel for you. Now I have to make the situation a little worse, because I do it so well," I joked.

"How can you make the situation any worse?"

I laughed with no humor, "By asking you if you're ready to see your son, of course."