Gatherings: What REALLY happens

My friend and colleague, Erin Hunter, occasionly includes Gatherings in her suspense novels about our Clans. But she doesnt know the HALF of what goes on.

"They shouldn't allow the apprentices to these Gatherings! I SWEAR I saw Blackclaw dealing catnip the other day... Or it might have been in my dream... One or the other." Reports elder Morningflower.

"I like use my insane muscles to kick total domination at the monthly football game." Says Dustpelt, aka 'Bufffurrr.'

"I run the Gathering chess club. Im the president of all three members. Oh wait... Witheringbrains just died... that makes it two..." says a smug Goldenflower.

"I Started an Edgar Allen Poe Club." says Owlfeather.

"I've inventing a new religion... Birchpawism..." meditates Birchpaw.

At the previous Gathering, which I was of COURSE invited to, seeing as I am the ELDEST and therefor the WISEST cat in ThunderClan, I hid a small camera with me.

Here some of the interesting things I observed.

Firestar: ThunderClan has new apprentices

Onestar: cut the crap Firestar! No one cares! Its KARAOKE NIGHT!

It was then that Firestar, Leafpool, Squirrelflight, and Sandstorm sang 'We are Family.'

But Karaoke was not the only thing going down.

Crowfeather: Fella's, the game's called 'bull.' You name your card. If you think I'm lying, say bull. If you're right, I take all the cards. You're wrong, you take the cards.

Oakfur: Bull!

Crowfeather: Not yet.

Thornclaw: I'll start... three 2's.

Oakfur: one 3.

Crowfeather: You're bluffing.

Oakfur: Who's to say?

Thornclaw: Let's put some thing more interesting on this game.. I wager... three ThunderClan voles!

Crowfeather: I raise you to two WindClan rabbits.

Oakfur: Three!

Crowfeather: Take it or leave it!

Meanwhile, Reedwhisker and Weaselfur did cartwheels and sumbersaults down the Island.

And of course, there was Brambleclaw, Littlecloud, Mistyfoot, and Spiderleg's band performing, two guiatar cases filling up with money.

Then, the officials came in.

Russetfur: Crowfeather of WindClan? You're under arrest for illegal gamling charges.

Crowfeather: I don't know what you're talking about.

Oakfur: Bull!

Russetfur: I take that as a confession.

Crowfeather: Look over there!

Russetfur: (looks over) Why-

Crowfeather: (running away) Muahahaha! Thornclaw, you owe me five voles!

But of course, you can't forget the protestors.

"Them darn protestors! They'll be protesting breathing next!" hissed RiverClan warrior Stonestream.

At this particular Gathering, Tornear, Blackclaw, and Tawnypelt were protesting the use of the warrior named ending with 'fang!'

They chanted: Fang's are UNFAIR! Those Clan leaders are over THERE! Giving warrior names without a CARE! The use of 'fang' should be ...ELIMINATED!

(Never let Blackclaw do the composing)

Don't forfet the market!

A small tent was set up, reading MOTHWING'S COOKERY

(another Blackclaw creation)

"Fresh rabbit pie! Only one mouse per pie!" She announced.

Blackstar came hurrying forward.

"No! Rabbit killer! You must pay!: He growled.

"just because you're a leader doesn;t mean SHE pays YOU for pie that SHE made!" declared Mothwing's apprentice Willowpaw.

The Gathering ended when the KittyPet police showed up.

Firestar: Flee! Don't let them find us!

Erin Hunter should really take some more acurate notes. I for one think that if the Clans could read her description, they would be quite disapointed!

I'm SO SORRY that I forgot to post this chapter! Its been sitting in my documents completed for months! I feel terrible!

Please review! I'll update as soon as I can, which I PROMISE will be before May 15.

Sorry for the wait!