Chapter Four-

"Mr. Brightside" The Killers

I woke up the next morning to of course find the space behind me empty. I looked around and saw his own bed empty…again. I tried to keep myself from frowning, tried to stay aloof but of course I was hurt. Then I heard a strange sound, like someone yurking up everything they had in them. And I noticed the W.C door was shut. I timidly knocked.

"Sirius? Do you need some-" since his face was attached to the toilet he kicked the door open as hard as he could and beckoned me in. I left there first to grab another Pepper Me Up potion to fight his hangover and then came back, looking confused as to what to do. His slight bangs were getting in the way. I put my hand back to hold his loose hair so he could finish the "job" he already started, and he soon did, body shaking and all. I handed him the potion and he drank it from his quivering hands. He soon stopped and pulled his legs up to his mouth, like everyone did when their stomach was churning like butter. "Can you…can you make out of this room?" I asked him, not quite sure of the answer.

"Yeah…" He whispered. I figured the potion would kick in fast. He stood up and slowly ambled his way over, though each step he took looked a lot less stressed then the other. He then proceeded to lie down. Strangely enough, he had chosen my bed, which was farther back then his and I decided not to question him about this, seeing as he felt sick enough already. "Thanks…" He offered after a few minutes. I took that as my cue to stop being so watchful and to back off.

"Anytime." I answered, moving to my luggage to take out a shirt.

"I don't mean for just this morning, either. For last night too." He added. I nodded, feeling very modest and decided not to say anything back this time. I wondered how well he remembered everything last night, especially after I gave him that one potion (which was surprisingly weak in it's results). I stripped off my night clothes and into some tatted jeans and in the spur of the moment I placed on a warm sweater beneath my robes. I felt snuggled and safe.

Sirius seemed to stare at me and when I glanced, his lips were moving. And so was his voice. I told you before, Sirius' voice was no where near the best but he could carry a tune and sometimes it made me want to die inside. This was one of those times. I closed my eyes and turned from him, filled with emotion and I truly didn't want him to see me so…passionate. Talk about awkward.

"Well there was a time when you let me know what was really going on below but now you never show that to me, do you? But remember when I moved in you and the holy dove was moving to? And every breath we drew was 'Hallelujah', Hallelujah, Hallelujah…" God, was he killing me softly with his song. I interrupted his singing to save myself some face and embarrassment.

"I'm going for breakfast downstairs. Do you want me to bring you anything up?" And then the regular Sirius was back. Of course, I broke his moment of 'sentiment' and he would bounce right back to how he was when he thought he was showing us his 'true self'. He became this humorous, arrogant, handsome little bugger instead of just being Sirius Black. But I didn't push it.

"That's why you bothered to actually get dressed up?" He smirked, sitting up on the bed. Damn the potion, chirpy Sirius was about hours too early. "There's this lovely thing called room service, Remus." They had muggle telephones at the Leaky Cauldron, and you didn't have to dial anything, saving the population of travelers from confusion. It just connected you to the front desk. Sirius requested room service- "2 of everything you offer for breakfast"- and then quickly learned a hard lesson about the cost of the good life- "10 galleons?!"- but soon slammed down the receiver and inclined his head at the door when there was a knocking sound. He handed me the money from his pocket and smiled. "Get that, wouldja?" I walked to the door and opened it.

SO not the damn room service.

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She cackled, like one of those old hag witches in muggle movies, and temper forgotten I reached out and clocked her a nice one right in the side of the jaw and there was a sickening crunch. She screamed in pain and of course, I brought the wrath of her lover boy down on to me, totally defenseless with no wand. I fell to the ground under the Cruciatus curse and writhed in pain. When it was lifted, I placed a hand on the lower half of my chest but stood up as fast as I could and barked out a command at them.

"Tell me where you took Sirius to."

"What makes you think Sirius is the one in danger, and not yourself?" All they could do was laugh. I prayed for an instant that I had the agility enough to kill her. Instead, I ended up with my arm around her throat and I placed her in between Lucius and myself. She whimpered. I felt ashamed, but it was what had to be done. There were evil; they weren't humans. Why should I care if I cause them pain? What I was doing, putting them in this position, was the lowest blow of all, but then again- they had done it to Sirius and for that, I couldn't begin to forgive. "Give me my wand or I snap her neck. And don't act like I couldn't do it." I spit out at him. He stared, stunned, and I think he half considered not giving me the wand. I would've taken no time. Same with Sirius. We would never risk each other's lives. Lucius handed over and I held Narcissa out in front of me for a few minutes, planning my best exit. I shoved her into him as hard as I could, then tore down the hallway and through the first door I saw. 5 Death Eaters, in a circle around Sirius who was holding his own. He caught the edge of a stinging hex and I saw it burn but he didn't stop, ever. I took out two Death Eaters from behind who hadn't noticed me with lucky stunning hexes, but then the battle really started going. And not to mention the fact that Sirius had just gotten hit with a stunning spell. Oh fucking Merlin, help us.

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I opened the door, and it revealed a whore. And no, I'm not just trying to be a poet. There, at only …1130AM stood a scantily clad, teenage whore that I just happened to know by name. Alyssa Fozzina, who attended our school and was a year below us. Apparently she was about to get 'below' Sirius. I coughed horridly and even dared as to stick my hand out with the money. Alyssa looked absolutely appalled.

"Siri! Baby, what's this?" She asked, rather confused. She scrunched her nose as if I was a piece of dirt to her- a bloody nuisance. If only she knew how much she was inconveniencing me. Sirius looked as if he was about to burst out laughing by the fact that I offered her money. He moved to let her in and she sat down, crossing her legs on MY bed- the one I picked out as mine. He leaned close to my ear to whisper conspiringly.

"Dammit, Remus, I thought that was the room service for Alyssa and me. I thought I could have her some food before they got here, but apparently not. By the way, don't ever offer a girl money until after she's done her job." Sirius quipped, running his fingers through his hair. I felt my eyes get extremely narrow in dislike. He seemed to squirm. "Well, if you don't mind, I'd like the room for the rest of the morning, okay mate?" I didn't even give him an answer. I shoved his ten galleons into my pocket and slammed the door shut after my receding back. I thought he would at least scream out my name, maybe not in desire but to at least retrieve his money but he never did.

Of course, it was too good to be true. I should have never believed that he'd order me and him breakfast. Of course he ordered breakfast to share with a girl, not one of his bloody best friends, especially the one he had just thanked so graciously. Was this how Sirius treated people? Left them alone in the dark? Figuratively, of course. It may have been daytime but it wasn't cold enough for snow- just plain old Londontime rain- and the grey of the city spread to my bones. I had just gotten kicked out of a hotel room, under MY name, so the guy I was in love with could get it on with some whore. What a bloody nightmare. Of course the first place I went to was James' house. I banged on the door almost as hard as Sirius was getting banged right now. Imagine my surprise when the one to answer was of course Lily Evans.

"It's been 12 hours, and you two are already fighting again?" She asked, sighing. She moved aside to let me in and I started to whip my scarf and jacket off in a frenzy.

"I can't believe he did this, Lily. I just can not believe it." The scary thing was, I wanted to tell Lily every reason I was mad- because I hated prostitution, I hated the games Sirius played, and how much I loved Sirius to begin with. With one look though Lily seemed to get the jist of my anger.

"Oh, so he STILL brought the girl over, aye?" My nostrils flared. Lily knew about Alyssa, which meant James did to. And neither of them bothered to tell me? She caught on really fast, she was much too perceptive for her own good. "He came here for ten minutes last night, Remus, and told us about how he was going to finish this argument his way. He decided to have a girl come over in the morning and set you up. Then James seemed to talk him out of it. At least Sirius promised James he wouldn't go through with it, but I guess he did. Then he said he was going back to the Leaky to apologize to you." I nodded at her, slowly.

"I had to drag him from the bar at 330 this morning." I answered back, now grumbling. She looked sympathetic. "He could have the decency to at least do it on his own bed." I finally added, afterwards. She placed a hand on my shoulder and then directed me to James' kitchen for a glass of tea. I didn't even want to ask how she already memorized the workings of James' kitchen.

"James is going to kick his bloody ass when he hears what Sirius did." She said, placing the cuppa in front of me. I shook my head no, mid-swallowing a heaping, burning gulp of fabulous tea.

"No, Lily, don't tell James that Sirius went through with this. It'll just cause more drama, and this is something I'm going to handle with Sirius myself." I stood up to surf through James' pantry for some cereal. "Speaking of Prongs, where is the little bugger anyways?"

"Coming down the stairs right now to bother his best friends!" He yelled from the top. He appeared, his hair obviously wet but still sticking up everywhere. He gave me another one of his trademark 'man hugs'. "Where's Padfoot?" I glanced at Lily. He already knew as well. Though I didn't want him to really get involved, I knew he could read both me and Lily as easy as glass. "Oh no, he did it, didn't he?"

"Actually, I think he's probably still 'doing it'." I finished, shuttering at the thought (not to mention my jealousy). Prongs only shook his head in disgust.

"When I get through with him-" to my surprise it was Lily who spoke for me.

"Jimmy, let Remus handle this one with Sirius his self. I know they're your best friends but it's their thing to resolve. Remus knows you're on his side, I think that's enough." I knew James took her words a lot more seriously then he would've taken mine, since Lily was expertly trained at hitting right into someone's mind that triggers them to understand something. James' eyes connected with mine and I nodded to let him know I thought Lily was right. He instantly backed off me and just nodded. I smiled at him.

I would never let them know how much Sirius was killing me inside.

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I was weak, much to weak to be walking home alone, since tonight is the full moon (it's now 230AM) and I was fatigued. James, Lily, and I were all unable to apparate so I leaned on James a bit more then I wished I had to and they helped me back. The stairway to the hotel room was too crowded, so Lily stayed downstairs and bade me goodnight. By the time we reached my room Prongs looked weaker then I did.

"Thanks, James." I said, graciously. He smiled, exhausted but proud.

"Anytime, Moony." I opened my door and stepped inside and entered as quietly as I could…before I tripped over scattered plates of Jell-O and puddings. I crashed to the ground and instantly Sirius' head shot up from his pillow to glare at me.

"I'm trying to fucking sleep." He spat. I rolled my eyes and began to clean up the mess of food. What was Sirius thinking? He wasn't an animal; therefore I saw no need to live like one.

"Really, because here I am thinking you're trying to fuck yourself asleep." I answered back, in a would-be casual voice, but it was brutal for me, so clumsy and feeble and apathetic. I stumbled to my wardrobe and looked for clothes but found the effort too much. I instead, against better judgment, collapsed on my bed.

"Why the hell are you coming in so late anyways?" He barked at me, rolling over so his back was facing me.

"I don't harass you for answers, don't question me." He scoffed.

"You don't harass me because you already know what I do at night. But I guess I know what you do, too. Howl at the moon? Well, so do I, Remus, but only when a girl is particularly good." Sirius finally hit an all-time low, rubbing in my face being a werewolf. I guess it was deserved, since the other day I had brought up him having homicidal feelings for Snape. This is why I didn't tell Sirius how I felt; because it only would be another thing for him to use against me. My eyes filled with tears, but I would not cry. I will not sob. At least, a noisy sob. I can't control the fact that my eyes were tearing, but he would never hear me be broken because of something he said. He seemed to sense something, his body tightening. "Tomorrow night's the full moon, isn't it?"

"Yes." was all I could say. He was quiet for a few seconds, but found a small voice soon after.

"Are we still going to the shack, then?" He asked. I closed my eyes tightly and sighed.

"I am." I decided to say.

"Well, I guess that means I am to." I had no idea what to say. First he manipulates my being a werewolf to hurt me, but now he uses it to be kind to me? I just placed a cool hand on my forehead, feeling overheated and flushed and embarrassed. He took off his covers, climbing out of bed in his pajama pants and no shirt to kneel beside my bed. He placed his hand next to mine on my head and sighed. "You're burning up Moony. And you're wearing seven layers of clothing. Take some off before you get hotter then you already are." I shoved his hand off my forehead, as hard as I could (which wasn't hard at all), but still complied. I shed my robes and my sweater. He returned with a cool washcloth and draped it below my hairline.

"Back off, Padfoot." I finally said. He didn't move.

"I'm sorry." He said. I knew it was hard for him to apologize, and it touched me that he did but at the same time, it DIDN'T. Sorry wasn't enough. He said it all the time but still ended up hurting me. Well, I was sorry too, that I had to put up with this, that I always put up with it, and that I could never stop putting up with it.

"And if I said I didn't care this time?" I inquired, trying not to look at him and instead closing my eyes.

"I'd show you that I'm serious." I ignored the over used pun there and instead scoffed. The sound tore from my throat like I had chronic bronchitis, so rough and pitiful.

"Are you, Sirius? I can never tell." Silence rang and it was almost as if he had stopped breathing. I opened my eyes to check only to find he had his closed. He sighed too, forlorn, and then kept his head facing the ground, as if he was praying.

"Are you tired, Moony?" He asked. I nodded, then realizing he couldn't see that motion, simply said yes. "Then listen to me. And share a dream with me. Close your eyes and picture this." I nodded, uselessly, and listened. "We're in the heart of London at a playground called Pierson Park, in a blizzard where all the trees were covered in snows like children in warm, toasty beds, with imprints of snow angels whose owners were no longer there." He seemed to hesitate but thought the better. "Sooner or later we become engrossed in each other, just existing, and the snow- lord, the snow. It covers us so much I'm sure from far away we just look like 1 snowman, not even snowmen like we were." He answered slowly. "Just one, Remus. And you're not thinking. You're not trying to stop yourself from feeling, you're just letting go, and I'm not trying to win a game or make you like me, I'm just being myself. And your hands aren't gloved, because you never remember to bring them and mine are warm. I take your hand, and suddenly you feel okay, safe, and so do I." I closed my eyes tighter, enjoying the picture so much that it's beginning to feel real- or maybe it was the fact that he was actually holding my hand now and instead of cooling down I only started to burn up again but he was right, I felt okay. "Since you're not trying to stop yourself from thinking, you let me know you're concerned about something but there's no one else but us around for miles. So to calm you down, all I say is, 'just blend'. But we can't do that being two people so I pull you closer to me and-" he stopped with words then and let go off my hand only to place both of his on the side of my cheeks and lean over to kiss me gently. "make us look like one person. From far away, no one can tell." He pecks my lips again I'm so shaky I can barely place a hand in his hair but I manage to and he responds quickly, pressing harder against my lips and moaning. I can't open my eyes, afraid that this isn't happening, that I'm asleep. I feel him place a leg over me carefully and never breaking our kissing he has one knee against my left thigh and another in between my crotch. When I arch my back up to kiss him harder his knee brushes against my lower area and I pull away accidently from him in surprise to gasp. I involuntarily opened my eyes but found he had his closed tighter shut then I had mine and he pulled his crotch against mine and I bucked my hips up, groaning now in complete and utter desire for him, the worse I had ever felt. The scariest thing was, he did it again and I was still so, so, so aching for him and this time he expelled so much air from his lung I thought he would die…He started then to cough and I knew he was in just as much shock as I was; he flew off from on top of me and raced away to the window, facing it for close to five minutes silently and I could not bear to look at him either, so taken aback and ghastly distraught.

As quick as it started as quick as it ended. He climbed into his bed but not before saying those three, reliable words I knew would come from him.

"Don't tell ANYONE."

A/N - to the reviewers and the readers (who should review if they don't because I love you P) who are disappointed by the lack of…ahem, ACTION in this ending here, I will say I agree with you so much in that lack of yumminess that there is an alternate one, but once I realized this is rated T, I couldn't put it in there without feeling bloody horrid. So, if you'd like to read the UNEDITED one, leave a review and I'll send it on over to you.

Along with some cookies, too.

This story is hopefully no where near over if you all like it, so, have fun reading!

Until February 6th-

Lena AKA Padfoot of the Binglish marauders.