-1Chapter two: scared

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans and am purely manipulating them for my selfish pleasure.

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"Ive never had some one care about me so much before ... and Ive defiantly never felt this way about any one before its just taking a while for me to adjust and I'm sorry. i love you more than you can imagine though. ... ugh i can't beleive im going to tell you this but oh well... i know that you love me. and i love you too ... soooo much. but because i've never had any one care about me so much or ive never cared about some one so much im just afraid all of the time... afraid that this feelings going to go away and ill be sad again ... afraid you're going to stop loving me ... I'm afraid im going to lose you ... and because im afraid of that im not acting like i want to be acting ... and im afraid that because im not acting the way i want to be acting that ... its going to make you stop loving me ... its jsut a vicious cycle and its making me upset ... dont worry about trying to cheer me up or any thing because i know you lvoe me and i know youre not going to leave me its just my mind doing awful things to me and as long as i see you smile i know every things going to be alright ... thats all you ever have to do to cheer me up ... give me a hug and smile at me .. i love your smile so much ... you really are more beautiful than any one else on the planet"

2/16

She hated it when she did this. Her floor was littered with old notes and letters, dried flowers, movie ticket stubs, journal entries, and random-seemingly worthless- memorabilia. She was never this… girly. But she needed some reminder of why she was here.

Did she still love him?

Of course she did.

Did he still love her?

So he said.

Although things in the past week had gotten progressively better- she still felt alone. He had left their room and they were now speaking and back to… as close to normal as they could be.

It was weird for her, though. She wanted nothing more than to have things the way they used to be. And she knew they never would be exactly that way again… but she wished, oh god she wished, things could be a little easier. That she always knew for sure if it was worth it. If waiting was going to pay off.

It was confusing. When Star or Robin or Cy would ask if they were together she would answer with a "kinda… it's still complicated" or when she would be with people that didn't know the current situation-- she'd have to explain that they weren't dating… but they weren't seeing other people.

She leaned back against the bed. His snoring was absent.

She knew his sleep cycles. She knew him so well. BB would fall asleep, twitch (quite literally) and jar her awake as he flipped between conscious and unconscious, he would then snore a little until he fell deep enough into sleep that he would be silent.

But if this was what she had wanted for so long… why did it not feel right? Why couldn't she bite her tongue when they were fighting? Why couldn't she unconditionally trust him even though she so desperately wanted to? Why couldn't they just fix it so they were both happy?

She looked over the crest of blankets, the dim lighting shone on his back, hunched and away from her. He wasn't happy-- or at least he didn't seem to be. So what were they doing?

Why couldn't all of the trying that she had been doing pay off? Why couldn't he love her the way he used to? Why couldn't she open up like she used to?

She guessed the words he had written to her so long ago-- before all of this started-- summed it up.

They were afraid. Two titans who helped protect a fearful city from a world of crime, heartbreak, and hatred… were scared themselves.

Maybe, just maybe, they'd have a talk in the morning.