Through the haze of sleep Jaime became aware that she was perilously close to the edge of the bed, squeezed there by her constant companion and noted bed-hog, Max. Dear as he was to her, she sometimes contemplated banishing him to the floor permanently. "Max!" she snapped. He didn't move. "Max!" she persisted, elbowing him. "Off!" He jumped down and she rolled back to the center, relishing all the glorious space she had to herself. But now she was awake, and she really ought to get up. Oscar would be here in an hour or so, and she needed to take a shower. She was suddenly struck by a funny thought. Oscar and Max were remarkably similar. Both large, dark, and intimidating to those who didn't know them, and sweet and loyal to friends. She wondered if Oscar was a bed hog too. She realized she could only imagine him lying in bed in a suit. Could she at least imagine him into a pair of pajamas? Well that's enough of that! She sat up, feeling as though she'd somehow invaded his privacy. Would she tell him he had a canine twin? She thought not.
As Oscar drove to Jaime's house he employed his usual technique. He imagined pouring all those awkward, intense, painful emotions into a jar and screwing the lid down very tight and putting the jar on a shelf. A high shelf. Right at the back. Every OSI psychologist he'd ever hired would disapprove, but it worked pretty well for him. It wasn't working today, though. He had to repeat the exercise several times to get any effect at all.
This morning he had awoken from a dream where he had been gently running his thumb along the hollow just under her collarbone, where it connected to the shoulder. How could his own brain torment him like this? Years ago he'd tried to make a bargain with his unconscious - X-rated or nothing at all... either give me some satisfaction or leave me alone... please? But to no avail. His unconscious did as it pleased, and left him with a painful yearning for a woman he couldn't have. It didn't help that he was going to see her today.
Since she had retired from the OSI they had seen each other less, and rationally speaking, he knew it was for the best. Once she was married she would be busy with her new life and new husband, and Oscar would likely have hardly any reasons to see her at all. It was good. He needed to let her go. When finally left alone, surely his heart would knit itself back together. He was frankly embarrassed by his feelings for Jaime. He didn't think much of men who set their sights on younger women, and here he was, six years into a gigantic case of unrequited love for a much younger woman. And he didn't approve of the unrequited part either. It was pathetic, and suggested a dangerous detachment from reality. And it hurt his pride. He was supposed to be impenetrable - the perfect Intelligence man - and he had proved to be so... porous. He'd kept a lid on it as best he could, confiding only in Rudy, who was a good listener and a sympathetic ear, but who could offer no solution to this most bewildering problem. A pill would have been nice.
Mind you - she was an incredible woman. He loved her fierceness and determination. She had never been intimidated by him, and always told him exactly what she thought. When she first starting working for him she had seemed like a fragile kid, and he felt terribly protective of her, but she had gradually blossomed into an incredibly intelligent and capable agent, reaching her prime a couple of years before she retired. Now thirty-two, she was brave and confident, loving and gentle. And of course the fact that she was astonishingly beautiful couldn't be ignored either. And so charming. But then - if he was going to beat back this obsession, he oughtn't be concentrating on her strengths. He should contemplate her weaknesses. Did she have any? She has a terrible sweet tooth...that's one thing. And when she's really upset her voice gets a little grating..."
The perspiration trickled down his forehead and behind his ears. Damn this car anyway! he fumed silently, as he opened all the windows. The warm air billowed in. He glanced at the speedometer. Eighty miles an hour. Putz. he admonished himself, easing his foot off the gas pedal.
"Come in Oscar! It's open." he heard her call.
He bounded up the stairs. There she was, smiling, in jeans and a pale blue t-shirt. "Hi." he said, a little breathlessly, and hugged her. She's just one human being - not so special.
"God, you're cooking!" she said.
"Yeah. Sorry. The air conditioning wasn't working. Here. I found blueberries at a roadside stand." he said, handing her a small basket.
"Well, thank you. You don't have to bring me something every time! Now that you're not constantly dragging me into some international crisis I'm quite glad to see you just for your own sake."
Oscar pulled off his jacket and tie and threw them over the railing. He undid his top shirt button and rolled up his sleeves, saying, "You know, I almost dread summer, because I'm so hot all the time. Death by suit. That's how I'm going to go." He fanned himself with his shirt front. He was aware that he couldn't quite suppress the stupid smile on his face.
"Sensible people go on vacation in the summer." Jaime smiled.
"I've heard that. I might just try it."
A thought dawned on Jaime. "You're probably the one that keeps the OSI like an icebox all the time, aren't you? I'm always freezing when I go in there."
"That would probably be me, yes. And all the other suits."
"Listen, I was hoping we could take Max for a walk - are you too hot? Do you want to cool off for a minute?"
"No, I'm ready, if I could trouble you for a glass of water first." Jaime took the blueberries into the kitchen and returned with water. Oscar guzzled it down as Jaime put on Max's collar. "I really might take a week off this summer," he said, taking the glass to the kitchen for a refill, "and go to Maine. My family used to go there when I was a kid."
"Really?" she asked, completely incredulous. "I have a hard time imagining you playing in the sand."
They ambled side by side down a long dirt road adjacent to Jim and Helen's place, under the shade of a row of tall Eucalyptus trees.
"So why are you in California, anyway? Something interesting?"
"Well, I've had one meeting already, and then Rudy and I are meeting at UCLA later. There are a couple of scientists there doing some promising work on cognitive acuity we want to check out. But of course," he added, theatrically, "I'm really here to talk to you about that wedding of yours."
She laughed. "I bet."
"So what should I wear? A suit? A tux?"
"I'm not sure. If you wear a tux you might upstage the groom."
"Fat chance."
"Tall dark and handsome in a tuxedo." Jaime smiled, "It's a winning combo."
"Shucks." Oscar replied, feeling embarrassed and pleased at the same time. He scrambled for a joke to cover his discomfort. "Maybe something in powder blue with black piping and a frilly shirt? I'm sure I could pick one up in LA..."
"I dare you. And make sure the pants are a little short."
"So, a suit then." Oscar replied, deciding to leave the challenge where it lay. "That'll make a nice change. Grey?"
"Sounds great."
"More importantly, have you figured out what you're wearing?"
"Yes! Thank heavens. Helen and I found a lovely vintage dress last week - sort of an ivory color. It just needs a little alteration and I think it will be nice."
"I'm sure it will be spectacular." he said confidently. "Hey - let's see that thumb." he added, having suddenly remembered the conversation he'd had with Rudy.
Jaime held it up in front of him and wiggled it as best she could. It hardly worked at all now. "Huh." he frowned. "That's too bad. So you're coming to Washington when school's out?"
"Yup. I just hope it holds out till the end of term. I'm probably the only person in the world who has to fly across the country for a tiny little medical appointment."
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that." he replied. "So are you all ready for the wedding? Got all the uh, floral arrangements picked and all the napkin rings and cake and all that kind of stuff?"
"Ugh." She frowned and ran her hands through her hair. "I'm a terrible wedding planner, Oscar. "
"How come?"
"It's so boring! All that fuss! Figuring out the guest list alone is incredibly stressful. If I had my way there would be about 20 guests, but there always seems to be some distant relative or a neighbor who will be inconsolable if they're not invited - and before you know it there are five hundred people coming."
"Five hundred?!"he asked, aghast.
"Well, no a hundred and twenty...but still..."
"Sensible people elope."
"Yeah." Jaime rolled her eyes. "Chris hasn't been a lot of help - he's been completely preoccupied with OSI business..." she glared at Oscar.
"Not my department!" he replied, throwing up his hands.
"Not that he's exactly dying to help anyway. He looks like a cornered animal whenever we talk about it. And Helen wants to help, bless her, but...oh never mind!" she sighed. "I'm probably boring you."
"You're not boring me, Babe. I just don't have much to offer." Now that his internal thermostat had settled, Oscar was enjoying the walk. It was a relief to be out of the city and out of the car. The sun was pleasant rather than punishing, the eucalyptus leaves shimmered in the breeze, and it was delightfully quiet. He liked the crunch of the dirt road underfoot. And of course her presence made it perfect. Almost perfect. It took effort for him to turn his mind back to the topic at hand and say, "It's going to be a lovely wedding. We're going to have a great time." He put his arm around her for a brief, reassuring squeeze. Perhaps he was flattering himself, but he could be fairly impenetrable when he put his mind to it.
Jaime's eyes narrowed slightly. "Do you really think that?"
"Of course!" he replied, a louder than he intended. Yup, he'd been flattering himself - he had to remember never to be complacent with her. Time for a change of subject. "Hey - did you know Rudy's bringing a real date?"
"Really?!" Jaime asked delightedly. "He put down two on his invitation reply - but who is it?"
"I don't know if you know her - her name is Sarah and she works in Intel. Brunette, mid forties, tallish. She's whip smart and seems to like Rudy a lot. And he looks happy."
"That is so great! How long have they been going out?"
"Three weeks, maybe?"
"Wow. That's wonderful!" Jaime smiled. "Who's Steve bringing?"
"Whoo..." Oscar exhaled raising his eyebrows, "he's bringing Maddalena."
"The Italian bombshell, I believe you called her." Jaime said, wanly.
"Oh yeah."
"Do you think he's ever going to settle down?" she asked, with a tinge of sadness.
Oscar stopped in his tracks. "Don't." he said, pointing a warning finger in her direction.
"Don't what?" she asked, looking slightly guilty.
"Don't do that 'I've-ruined-Steve's-life' thing you do. Believe me, most men would pay good money to experience one week of Steve's life."
"Yeah. Well. I just worry he's not truly fulfilled. And...I suppose I don't quite approve." Jaime sighed. "Things might have been so different for him if only my memory had cooperated."
"But it didn't, Jaime." He grasped her shoulders firmly for emphasis. "Look, Steve is fine. Better than fine. He's one of my best pals, so you can trust me on that. Only a fool hangs on to something he can't have year after year. It becomes pathetic. He knows that. You sink or swim. - it's a choice."
"Sounds like you're talking from personal experience..."
"Oh." he dismissed, walking away. "I don't belong in this conversation."
"Ah, the man of mystery." she teased as she caught up. "What goes on in there, Oscar? You know a person's imagination can run wild without any facts to go on."
He frowned and kept his eyes on the road ahead.
"I've wondered if you're some kind of wild lothario in your off hours..."
"Jaime!" he boomed reprovingly.
"...or if you've got some long-term love hidden away from prying eyes..."
He turned his gaze to the tree tops. Perhaps if he ignored her...
"...and for one minute or so I thought maybe you were gay..."
He stopped again and looked at her irritably. He hated it when she pushed him like this. What had she said about Chris? A cornered animal? Suddenly Oscar could relate. "Haven't you got more important things to think about? Like whether to have a country and western band or a string quartet at your wedding?"
"Well, you know us women." she smiled. "We like talking about love.""Well, you know us men. We don't." he replied, sharply.
"Oscar Goldman!" she cried, giving him a shove, "just two minutes ago you were telling me all about Steve and Rudy's love lives, you big hypocrite!"
He laughed ruefully. "Touché."
She slipped her arm in his and they began walking again. "I'm sorry." she said sincerely. "I don't mean to rattle your cage. I just find it weird that we're such old pals and yet there's a lot I don't know about you."
"There's nothing to tell. Really." he said, mollified, enjoying her closeness to him. "I'm a solitary person. Not much of a romantic I guess." he added, bolstering his defenses.
"Uh - huh."
"Well you go on thinking I'm a man of mystery, because if there's one thing men love, it's mystifying women."
She laughed. "I've missed you, you know." She squeezed his arm.
"I've missed you too." he replied, as casually as he could manage.