I don't own bleach/pokemon nor anyfing else. Crazy minds are good minds :3

Warnings: Crack, Attempted Rape (lol), Horrible spelling (cause I don't have the attention span to re read)

Arm & Hammer

Ichigo was having a wonderful time, singing to his hearts content while washing himself in the little sink. He remembered the lines perfectly and was perfecting his singing in the sink. When he was done he jumped onto the floor mat and turned off the water. After drying himself off, he got dressed and left the bathroom.

"Hello iPod and Timmy!" Ichigo said happy to the iPod and it's sweater. "I'm going to rehursles (no i can't type) today!" He stared blankly at the little iPod and 'assumed' it said 'okay'. Ichigo walked to the kitchen. "milk, milk, sushi, milk, cheese, milk, yogurt, milk, milk, chocolate milk, strawberry cow, milk, milk.. What's with this obsesstion of milk?" Ichigo shrugged it off and walked out the door with a piece of toast in his mouth. He walked out and almost bumped right into Byakuya. "Ah, sorry Byakuya, didn't see you there" Ichigo said apoligizingly. Byakuya looked at Ichigo expressionless.

"Do you know.."

"Do I know..?"

"Do you know where to find, Pancakes." Ichigo looked at Byakuya confused at the question.

"I really like pancakes. Do you know where to find any."

"At the store, but I gotta go. Bye!" Ichigo said and ran off.

Ichigo looked down at his desk and saw an knitted iPod sleeping bag type thing. Ichigo started bouncing slightly in exitement.

"I'm naming you George!" Ichigo yelled happily ignoring the other people looking at him. "Wait, if my iPod goes into Timmy, and Timmy goes into George, that would make him a girl! So I'm gunna call her, Georgina!"

Renji was sitting infront of Ichigo's desk and smirked at bit at the boy's excitement

'Geez, how could he get so exited over iPod accesories, I thought only girls did that' The red head thought to himself. Uryuu came a bit later on.

"Kurosaki-kun, um. Where'd you get that?" The Quincy asked pointing at Georgina.

"I don't know, but it was on my desk!"

"I see." Uryuu replied a bit jealous 'I'm not going to let ANYONE take MY Ichigo from me!' he thought to himself. Moments later there was a tap at the front.

"Good morning class"

"Good morning Kyouraku-sensei!"

"Don't make me say it again, It's Shunsui-san, alright ladies?" He stood still as a variety of objects were thrown at him but missed, most from Orihime. "Orihime-san, remember what I told you about bringing knives to school, you'll get them confinscated and you'll never get them back."

"Up yours ya' hater, you're just with the man!" Orihime yelled throwing a pocket knife at him, but obviously missed.

"Now, now Orihime-san. Take your seat so we may start the lesson" Shunsui said ignoring the swearing and bitching at the back. The whole time, Shuuhei had his eyes on Renji, Renji had his eyes on Ichigo, Uryuu had his eyes on Ichigo, and Ichigo had his eyes on Georgina and having fantasies of him, iPod, Timmy and Georgina, hopping in circles in a big field of milk.

During the break, Ichigo and Uryuu went up to the roof where they usually went to, only to be followed by Renji, which was followed by Shuuhei, which was followed by dancing pikachu plushies. They all sat down, Uryuu surprised seeing Renji, ignoring Shuuhei a bit.

"So Ichigo, I'm sure you're doing well in that musical I've heard about." Renji said taking a sip from his milk.

"Oh yeah, I'm doing super-special-awsome!" Ichigo said happily taking a bite from his cheese and crackers.

"Oh yeah, did anyone meet up with Byakuya this morning?" Shuuhei asked eating an ice cream float. The other three nodded. "What's up with the whole 'pancake thing?" They shrugged except who Uryuu who blushed a deep red.

"What's up Ishida?" Ichigo asked.

"Well, apparently, Kuchiki-san said that I was his favourite..." He pushed up his glasses a bit "Pancake..." The three other boys laughed until they started crying from laughter. "Oh, shut up!" Uryuu said a bit preppy like. The three kept laughing, and dancing Pikachu plushies were dancing in the background

The end of the day, everyone was overjoyed and danced out of the school. Uryuu walked out and walked home alone. He walked into his house and dropped off his stuff in the closet.

"Ichigo, you are one weird guy" He said to himself while getting some bacon from his frying pan

"Hello, pancake."

"HOLY SHI- oh, Kuchiki-san, um may i help you?"

"Make me. Pancakes."

"Uhm, alright then." Uryuu said confused. He lit the stove and started on the pancakes. With the help of Mr. Fuzzles, he was done in no time. He served the pancakes to Byakuya who ate them in 5 seconds flat. He even timed him on that too.

"I desire more pancakes"

"We haven't got anymore"

"Then i shall have you."

"Wait, Wha- !?" Uryuu said before being cut off by a glomping Byakuya. He was sore all over, but if he wasn't that wouldn't be a good glomp would it? Byakuya pinned Uryuu's arms on the ground.

"Just relax little pancake and it won't hurt"

"RAPE!!" Uryuu shouted

"It's not rape It's just, surprise sex now, stop fidgeting little pancake." Byakuya said as he licked the boy's neck. Uryuu instantly freaked out and started squirming around.

"NO! Stop! The power of the Quincy compells you! The power of the Quincy compells you!" He shouted.

"What's going oooh my god, am I interuppting something?" Ichigo asked while slowly walking into the room.

"Kurosaki! Help me! He's trying to rape me!" Uryuu pleaded.

"I dunno, lemme ask Orihime" Ichigo said and left.

"Don't leave me!"

"Now you're all mine little pancake!"

"Yo, get da fuck offa Uryuu bitch!" Orihime said to the dead rapeist.

"Fine, but I want pancakes"

"Alright, but ask one of those characters that no one likes, like Chad or something"

"I shall accept then."

Deep in the dark depths of Shuuhei's room, he's been taping countless pictures of Renji in his Journal and talking about him in his Live Journel.

"They say that I'm being over obsessive! But I am SO not!" Shuuhei said stroking his lovely book of Renji's pictures "The real thing would be so nice.. his hands all over me.." he trailed off into his thoughts, drool escaping from his mouth pouring onto the floor, he made sure the his precious book was back in case to prevent anything from happening to it. He petted his case goodnight, kissed it and dreamt of his lovely Renji.

okay, that's it, teh edn. I don't feel like writing crack right now xD and i didn't feel like it when i wrote this, but Ichigoxrenji-smexy love gave me $5 so i could buy a drink, I was really thirsty, so yeah.

P.S... Don't kill me for this but.

Harry Potter sucks.