Fear of Fire

Disclaimer - Don't own YYH.

Chapter 11 - Flames from the Past

XxXxX

Yuusuke stared at the communicator after it went dark and threw it at the couch. Kurama caught it and set it on the table.

"You should not have said anything about the fight. Even though Hiei is back, it still hurts her." The kitsune's emerald eyes narrowed. "You most likely got her upset."

"Yeah, that's probably why she hung up on me." He continued his pacing across the floor. "Dammit! This is why I never want to get involved with women." He was never good when it came to the opposite sex. He always got in trouble with Keiko and they weren't even going out.

"You have to understand that those two are at odds with each other. Just because Hiei is back does not mean that things are back to normal." The demon stated as he continued to flip through one of the Spirit Detective's manga.

"You know both of them better than I do. What should we do about this?" The ningen boy sat down next to his friend. "Do you really...trust them? I mean, there has to be some kind of tension between them."

"I trust them. They will always be honest with me." Kurama answered honestly. "The day I lose faith in either of them is the day hell comes to Ningenkai." He stifled a yawn. "Besides, we're on thin ice ourselves. We have school to worry about. Those two just have to work things out on their own."

XxXxX

Hiei opened his eyes to see complete darkness. It pressed close around him and blanketed him in its blackness. He blinked a good couple times before sitting up and trying to see. After getting to his feet, he went toward the door and turned on the light. He didn't want to blind himself so he quickly closed his eyes. He went to the bathroom then grabbed his cloak on the way out the door.

I wonder what the onna is doing...

He found his way to her office and looked in. She was leaning over her desk, her arms crossed and her head down. By the slowness of her breathing, he could tell that she was asleep. He left and went on his way to the library. He had no idea what time it was but it was sometime at night. When he went back into the room, he found that everything was as he left it. After taking a seat, he picked up the book he had been reading.

The sooner this is over, the better. When this nightmare is interpreted, I will be free from this foolish guilt.

XxXxX

She must fear fire. My Reiki did not work, causing her to die. Perhaps she only saw me as fire.

He sat back and leaned his head against the back of the chair.

"Fear of fire..." He whispered to himself. He closed his eyes and drifted off into a sleep that seemed dreamless at first.

He opened his eyes to see nothing but a barren wasteland. After looking around, he discovered that he was at the park. Burnt trees decorated the landscape, standing out against the red-orange sky and gave it the look of some twisted painting. Harsh, angry-looking black clouds drifted closer. A figure stood not too far away, watching them approach. The person...looked exactly like him. It turned around and looked directly at him with the same cold crimson eyes before vanishing into nothingness.

"What the hell...?" He stood up and looked around him. A warm breeze blew by him and stirred up the ashes of those who had died along with the ashes of whatever else was turned to ash.

"Hiei!" A voice called to him; sounding far away. "Hiei, where are you?" It took him a moment to realize that the voice belonged to Kurama. He felt a knot form in his stomach. He tried to call out past the lump in his throat. "Answer me, koorime!" The third call was more desparate.

"Kurama!" His voice cracked in the middle of the name but he didn't have time to notice. He stumbled forward, his eyes darting around him in an attempt to find his best friend. "Kitsune, I'm over here!" Kurama found him a few moments later and smiled in relief.

"What happened? Are you okay?" The concern in his eyes made Hiei feel really guilty. "Hiei? What is it?"

"S-She's gone..." He whispered. Speaking the words made him realize that it was real. "Oh, hell... She's really gone." The kitsune blinked in confusion.

"Who? Who's gone?" The koorime fell to his knees, his legs unable to support him.

"Botan." He met his friend's gaze and watched as the emotions surfaced in the deep pools of emerald.

"Is she...dead?" At the fire demon's nod, his fears were confirmed. "How? W-What happened?"

"Fire... It was everywhere. Everything went up in a blaze. M-My powers didn't work. I tried to save her but it was too late. I got burned when I touched the flames." Hiei lifted the sleeve of his shirt to show his burns. "All I could do was...stand there and watch as she was engulfed by fire... I stood there and listened to her agonized screams." Kurama hid his eyes beneath his bangs and turned away.

"It is not your fault. You did not start the fire...did you?"

"N-No." Before either of them could say another word, the dark clouds drifted on the wind and brought a cold, soul chilling rain.

"Even the heavens cry..." The kitsune's whispered words was the last thing he heard before all went dark.

Hiei jolted awake and fell backwards in his chair. His eyes were wide and his breath was coming out in loud gasps. He stood up and ran out the door as fast as he could. He had to find her. He had to see for himself that she was all right. His mind could not separate reality from fiction anymore. He burst into her office to see everything as it had been...except Botan was no where to be seen. He ran to Koenma's office and barged in. When he didn't see her, he ran back to her room and tried to open the door. It was locked. He began pounding on it frantically.

"Botan! Onna, open the door!" Panic began to settle over his mind when there was no answer and no sound. "Botan!" After a moment longer, the door opened and the ferry girl stood there in a towel, soaking wet and very unhappy. When he looked up at her, the previous anger she had been feeling faded into concern.

"Hiei? What in the world has gotten into you?" She pulled him inside and closed the door. He stared at her with wide eyes. Her skin was flushed from the heat of her bath water and it made him think of the glow of the fire that surrounded her before she was killed. "What is it?" She looked down at herself before sighing. "Let me finish my bath and then we'll discuss this. I'll be out in a few minutes." After she went back into the bathroom and closed the door, he looked under the sleeve of his cloak. The burn mark was there. It must have been a scar because it didn't hurt.

What has gotten into me? I feel like shit and I made a fool of myself. I will have to tell her about my nightmare.

He didn't really have much choice. If this kept up, he would wind up going back to Makai. That would only lead to more trouble by causing Botan to chase after him. It was purely insane. All of it was killing him. His mind was nothing more than a shelter for reality and fiction to mingle and blend together.

"What is going to happen if this continues?" He whispered to himself. Kurama would never forgive him if anything happened to the ferry girl. The door opened and Botan walked back out. She sighed and gave him a look of concern.

"Hiei, tell me. Why have you been acting this way?" She looked down at his arm and her eyes went wide. "What happened? How could you...get a burn?" He watched her as she walked closer and sat down next to him. What she did next really gave him a shock. She turned her arm over. There was a burn on her arm, right in the exact spot that his was.

"Onna...what the hell is going on?" She looked up at him. "I had this really screwed up nightmare that you died in a fire at the park. Only...after I finished the dream, both Kurama and I were there. How in the hell would you explain that? Why did you look scared of me?" He asked softly.

"I really...died in a fire. It was just outside a mansion where the park now stands...many years ago." She sighed. "This is the only scar that remains. It keeps coming back and I keep hiding it away with my Reiki." He stared at her. "But I don't know why you're having those dreams. Not unless..." Her face went pale. "You are not having my nightmares. They are your own. Only...back then you were not the same. You didn't know me so you didn't care. I remember now. You killed me. In a raid on Ningenkai. You and Kurama."

"But Kurama does not remember this, does he?" She shook her head slowly before meeting his gaze.

"Only you were there." He put his head in his hands, unable to believe the truth that was resting in front of him. "The reason you are having the dream the way you are is because you are beginning to remember. But since it is a dream, it is not a perfect memory."

"How could I forget?"

"Did you remember the raid on Ningenkai?" At his nod, she answered him. "Then you didn't forget. You just didn't care who you killed because you didn't know anyone. I don't know how this happened, though."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea..." She stood up and walked over to her dresser to get her hairbrush. "Why did I never have this scar before?"

"Your dreams were telling you something. Therefore, you gave yourself that scar to find the answer." She smiled slightly. "I couldn't remember who my killer was. All I kept seeing in my memories was a shadow. Now...I know who it was."

XxXxX

Kurama sat at his desk, doing some research. He looked toward his window when he felt a familiar presence. Hiei was sitting on the branch, his expression hidden beneath the shadows of his bangs. Standing up, the kitsune opened the window.

"What is it? You are here for a reason, right?" The koorime entered and sat on the window sill for a long moment. Then he pulled up the sleeve of his cloak to reveal the burn mark. "How did you get that?" Kurama walked closer to inspect it and found that his partner did not want him too close. Hiei moved away almost on instinct.

"I got burned in my sleep."

"Is someone after you?" The kitsune gazed at him in concern. "Did someone attack you?" The koorime stared down at it before his crimson gaze lifted to his friend.

"Well...something did." He answered truthfully. "It was my past. It scarred me in more ways than one." Kurama sat down in his chair to give him more space and prepared to listen quietly. "See...I know who killed Botan many years ago." Pain entered his voice then. "It was...me. I-I killed her with the flames I created to burn this old mansion to the ground. It was so long ago and we had never met..."

"You...?" The demon could hardly believe the words coming from his ally's mouth. "But...how?"

"My dream that I needed to interpret... Botan died in the fire. Well, I finished the dream in the library and...you were there." He explained everything in the dreams in shocking detail. "After I woke up, I almost thought that it had been real. I went and found her and she explained it all to me. I remember now. You weren't there when I burnt everything down but you were in Ningenkai with me on the same mission. That was why I saw myself..." He went quiet, standing there for a long while. He went to the window and opened it. Just as he was about to climb out, he paused. "I hope you forgive me for what I did. I don't expect her to. But I apologized to her and now I am doing the same to you..." Then, all of a sudden, he vanished before Kurama had the chance to utter a word.

"Hiei...I cannot be angry with you for it. You didn't even know her..." Then something else entered his mind.

Perhaps...if it had not been you, then it would have been me.

XxXxX

Botan woke up only an hour after she fell asleep. She didn't even remember falling asleep. All she knew was that she had to find Hiei. Even though she knew the truth, the fact still remained that they had never met before that so they didn't even know each other. She got up and changed before rushing out of her room. He had probably left Reikai. She hopped on her oar when she was outside and hurried down to Ningenkai. Hopefully, nothing would go wrong and he would be somewhere down there. She found him in the park after a half-hour of trying to find him elsewhere.

"Hiei..." She whispered softly; seeing the torment the new memory brought to him. He looked up at her and frowned.

"What are you doing here, onna?" She could tell that he was trying to sound cold and emotionless. But he was failing miserably. He turned away from her. "I don't want to talk, if that's what you're here for."

"I just wanted to come and tell you that I could never hate you for what you did. I-It is kind of hard to accept but I know that you would never do such a thing now. Back then...you and I never knew each other as we do now." She reached out and touched his arm. "I-I forgive you." He was silent for only a moment.

"You are not even thinking it through. If you remember, you died because I was greedy and wanted treasure from that stupid place. How can I be near someone that I killed a long time ago? I was merciless. I caught you and prevented you from escaping. I played with your worst fear before you died. I...I made you suffer. Your worst fear was...fire." He sighed. "I want to be alone." She said nothing but left him sitting by himself. She went to Kurama's and knocked on his window. After he let her in, she ran into his arms and cried.

"Botan, what is it? Why..." He trailed off. He knew what it was all about. "Did you speak with Hiei again?" She nodded and sniffled. He led her over to the bed, gently pushing her down. "Let me go get you a glass of water." She realized why as soon as she got the hiccups. The tears just would not stop. He came back after a few moments and handed her the glass. "What did you tell him?"

"I said that I forgive him. I can't possibly...hold a grudge." She took a long drink as he situated himself in his desk chair. "He doesn't...want to be around me because he killed me. He said that he played with me, using my worst fear to slowly steal my life." He blinked.

"You're afraid of fire?" She nodded.

"Yes, I always was. The first time I encountered it was when flames took my brother's life. We lived in a large house with our mother and...when it caught fire, I thought I was going to die." She paused to try to calm down. "It was late at night. They said it was arson. Anyway, we were sleeping and I...felt like I couldn't breathe. I woke up because I started coughing and saw a light from the other side of the door. Smoke had filled my room by then so I had to open the door. I saw only fire." He stared at her; wondering what else about her past that no one knew. "I wanted to close the door but I heard my brother begin to cry out from his room. It was at the end of the hall. I called back to him but I had lost my voice and only succeeded in coughing more fiercely than before. I heard sirens and went back inside my room. The fire trapped me in there. All I could do was sit in the corner and cry because I thought everyone else was dead..." The way she described it helped Kurama to picture it as it was happening. "But I wanted to save my little brother so badly." When she didn't say anything for a few moments, he looked away.

"Did you try to rescue him?" A soft sob escaped her. His gaze directed itself back at her.

"I did." She wiped a few tears away. "I went to my dresser and dug through one of the drawers before pulling out a handkerchief. I fastened it around my head so that it was blocking my nose and mouth. Then I went back to the doorway. The fire was consuming everything around me but I couldn't let that stop me. I had a goldfish in a bowl on my nightstand so I took it and dumped the water over myself. There wasn't very much but if I could keep myself cool against the heat then I could make it. I ran out of my room and tried to get to my brother's room." She paused. "He wasn't making any sound. The doorknob was too hot on my skin so I bunched up my nightgown and used it as a guard. I didn't have a choice. I had to get to him. When I got inside the room...he was already gone." He watched her struggle with the words. It was hard to see such sadness.

"You were rescued?" She nodded. "When?"

"Not long after that. I was only...ten years old then. A few days after that, a family friend took us in. We had lost almost everything. My mother soon fell in love and remarried, since she and my father had gotten a divorce when I was only two. We moved into the mansion and I lived there until you and Hiei came." She said the last sentence so softly.

"I am sorry." He got up to sit down next to her. "It was entirely my fault. It was all my idea to come here and rob that man. He had business in Makai, whether you know that or not. That was how I heard of him." She hugged him tightly.

"Kurama, I just want to forget the past and get on with this life. I don't want you and Hiei to hold on to the past." He wrapped his arms around her. "If you do, then I can never move on."

"Do you want me to talk to him?" She shook her head.

"No." Her gaze went to the window. "If I do not tell him that then I will forever call myself a coward."

"As you wish."

XxXxX

Wow...this got quite long, didn't it? Thanks for sticking with me through all of this. Hope you'll continue on to the end!