Disclaimer: All the characters that you recognize belong to J. K. Rowling.

Author's Note: Thanks to milkywaypnay37, trashcan, miss-mags-ak, riotgirl72, blondesRhot, sunlitmist, Miss Myrtle360, and ilovedrew88 for reviewing. I was really discouraged about the lack of reviews for the last chapter, so I especially want to thank the eight of you, because you are all great. And if it weren't for you all, I probably wouldn't have been inspired to write another chapter for this story for quite a long time. So, thanks once more for reviewing chapter 41, it truly does mean the world to me.

"Madame Lingwood, can I leave now?" Lily asked the school nurse. She had been in the Hospital Wing for three days already, and she was very anxious to leave.

"Well, I suppose so…But the second you don't feel well, I want you right back here," Madame Lingwood responded.

"I promise," Lily replied as she hopped out of the bed and onto her feet.

Lily was excited as she left the Hospital Wing behind her. She wanted to sleep in her own Hogwarts bed. She wanted to spend time with her friends without having to worry about interruptions. But most of all, she wanted to spend time alone with James.

Over the three days, she had only been truly alone with him once. And after he told her everything that happened, she ended up falling to sleep with her head resting on his chest. All the other times he came to visit, other people were around as well.

The moment she stepped into the corridor, she was bombarded with questions. "Did Rander really use an Unforgivable Curse on you?" "Is it true that Potter killed her to save your life?" "What was it like being under the Imperio Curse?"

Her head was spinning, how did so many people know about what happened? Just as the question popped into her head she regretted even thinking it. This was Hogwarts, and news here traveled fast. Once one person knew something, everyone knew it.

Lily could shrug off people to ignore answering their questions, but there was nothing she could do about the stares she was receiving. Students would stop talking as soon as they saw her, as if they were afraid to resume their discussion about what happened in the dungeons. Other kids watched her as if she were a weapon of mass destruction, just waiting to be set off.

Lily hated this even more than the questions. She hated the attention she was getting, hated the looks and stares. She hated it all.

She was grateful, however, when she reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Hippogriff." An instant later, the door to the Common Room opened and Lily crawled through the opening.

"Lily!"

Lily turned her head to see Gracie running toward her.

"Oh my God, Madame Lingwood let you out! How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Lily answered.

"You certainly wouldn't believe everything that's going on in the castle. I know Scarlett tried to explain last night, but you really have to see to believe it. I mean, Dumbledore is still working on finding another Potions teacher. He claims that he has someone in mind, but he could just be saying that," Gracie said.

"Oh wow," was all Lily could think of saying.

"I know."

"Um, listen, Gracie, is James around?" Lily asked.

Gracie looked offended that one of her best friends wasn't interested in talking to her at the moment, but answered anyways, "I haven't seen him…I saw Sirius go off with some fifth year a while ago though, and then later I saw Peter and Remus leave. But I haven't seen James. Sorry."

"It's okay, I'll look around for him…And then tonight you and I can stay up all night talking, I promise," Lily said, knowing that it would make up for her not sticking around at the moment.

"Alright," Gracie agreed, and then added, "You may want to check his dorm room. I mean, I know you're technically not supposed to go up there, but there's nothing to stop you."

"Thanks, I'll do that," Lily said, giving Gracie a small smile of appreciation.

Lily wandered over to the other side of the Common Room, closing in on the Boy's Staircase. She took a quick glance around the room, and once she made sure that no one was watching her, she bolted up the stairs.

Unfortunately, the Marauders all shared the room near the very top, which meant a long hike up for Lily. It seemed like ages before she reached the sign that read, "Seventh Year Boys Dormitory: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, & Peter Pettigrew." Lily had often wondered how the boys managed to get a room together, just the four of them. Most rooms had five students, but they only had four. She decided this wasn't the time to ask though, and knocked on the door.

"It's open," came James's leisurely voice.

Lily slowly opened the door and stepped inside, shutting it tightly behind her. "Hey," she said, making him jump at the sound of her voice.

"Lily, what are you doing here?" he asked, shoving whatever item his hand previously held under his pillow.

"I convinced Madame Lingwood that I was okay and ready to leave," Lily honestly said as she walked closer to him. She took a seat on his bed, right across from where he was sitting.

"Do you feel okay?"

"Yes, James," she answered.

"Come here," he said, beckoning her closer to him, "You know I don't bite."

Lily let out a small laugh, but crawled across his bed until she was sitting next to him. He turned his head and kissed her softly on the lips, not wanting to let the kiss end.

She smiled as they finally did break apart. "I've missed this," she told him.

"What? Kissing? Because you know I'm up for it all the time," he told her, only half joking.

"No, you pig, I mean just hanging out, just the two of us," she responded.

He smiled at her, knowing exactly what she meant. Lately they didn't have a lot of time to spend alone together, why, he didn't know though. But he did miss it too. If he could have it his way, he would spend all his time with Lily.

"Is it wrong to feel guilty? He finally asked her.

"About what?"

James stared at her, shocked that she didn't know what he was talking about. "The stuff with Rander."

"James, you did the only thing that you could do," she told him.

"But, but I killed her," he solemnly said.

"You saved my life and probably yours too. It was self defense, you had no other choice."

"I could have done it differently, I know I could have," he said, ignoring her last response.

Lily only sighed, this really wasn't what she imagined them to talk about.

"What if I had just stupefied her instead, or even Petrificus Totalus. Anything but what I did do," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"James, listen to me, you did the right thing. You should be happy, not all sad and depressed," she told him.

"I'm not sad and depressed," he crossly replied.

"Okay, fine, but either way, you shouldn't blame yourself," she responded.

"I'm not blaming myself!" he shouted. "Why does everyone think that I'm blaming myself?"

"James, calm down."

"Seriously, first Dumbledore, then Remus, then Sirius and Peter, and now you! What's wrong with you people?"

Lily squeezed her lips together in both anger and disgust. She couldn't believe the way he was acting, especially it being her first day out of the Hospital Wing. He was supposed to be grateful to see her, wanting nothing more than to kiss her silly, and be perfectly the way she left him. He was none of these things though. Instead he was bitter and cold, barely even caring that she could have died if it wasn't for him saving her life.

"You're overreacting," she simply stated.

"I'm overacting? I'm overreacting?" he said, the second time he said the phrase his voice got comparably louder. "No, I'm not the one that's overacting; it's all of you people! You just think that it's okay that I killed her! For God's sake, it's not okay. I committed murder, and I'm only seventeen!"

"Listen to me, James. Yes, you did kill her, but you did it for good reasons! I mean, she was a Death Eater! She could have killed half the student body if you hadn't stopped her! She could have let You-Know-Who into the castle, and he could have killed everyone!" Lily told him.

"Just, just shut up," he told her.

Lily looked as if she had just been slapped across the face. She had never felt so offended in her entire life as she did at that moment, and that included all the times that the Slytherins called her a Mudblood.

"Shit, Lily I didn't mean it like that," James said.

"No? Then how'd you mean it?" she crossly asked.

He didn't say anything, obviously trying to figure what to say next.

"That's what I thought. Because you know, shut up only has one meaning," she bitterly told him.

"Oh, come on Lils, don't give me this crap, not now," he said.

"Crap?"

"Shit," he swore again. "That's not what I meant to say, I swear it wasn't… God, I don't know what I'm even saying. It's this whole thing that's going on, it's driving me crazy. Crazy with grief, crazy with bitterness, just plain crazy."

She didn't say anything, but didn't move from where she was sitting either.

"I'm sorry, Lils, I really am…I just, I want it all to go away."

"I know you do," she answered, "But I can't do anything about it."

"Just tell me how you really feel about what I did," James said.

"I've already told you."

"No, truthfully."

"What? What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that you did an awful, awful thing?" she asked, her voice was loud, not caring that people outside the room could probably hear her.

"I knew it! I knew you thought that," he sadly said.

"What? James no, you are such an idiot. I already told you what I thought." She angrily told him. "James, I think you were very brave. I think if it weren't for you, I'd be dead right now."

"But," he interrupted, "If it weren't for me, then you'd never have eavesdropped and been caught!" It was the first time he actually said the words aloud. The thought had been presented in his mind many times before, but never did he actually truly say the words to another human being.

"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have been put under the Imperio Curse. You would've been okay from the start." He couldn't help what happened next, and was very embarrassed and ashamed for it, but he let a few tears fall from his eyes.

Lily's heart melted at once. She had never seen him vulnerable before. He was always strong, brave, and independent.

She immediately put her arms around him, pulling his head down to her shoulder. "James," she said after a couple minutes went by, "Is this why you feel guilty?"

He released himself from her grip, backing up a few feet. His eyes were dry now, but it was obvious that he had just been crying.

"Lily, you could've died."

"I didn't though, James, I didn't. I'm here and perfectly healthy and fine," she told him, taking his hand in her own. She squeezed it tightly, trying to reassure him.

"What if you weren't okay though?" he asked, not looking her in the eye at all.

"Don't dwell on what could have happened, life's too short for that," she said. "All that matters is what did happen, and James, I'm okay, you're okay, and that's all that matters."

"But."

"But nothing," she said, cutting him off before he was able to finish the sentence.

He stared at her, from any other person, that answer wouldn't have been acceptable. But hearing it from her changed his perspective completely. It was amazing how that worked; hearing something from one person and disagreeing, but then hearing it from someone you love and you let it pass without any other thought.

"Thanks," he said.

Lily moved closer to him and laid a kiss on his cheek. "Think nothing of it," she sweetly replied.

He turned slightly toward her, and looked deep into her eyes. He loved everything about her, from the way she could easily make him laugh, to the way she could make him feel like there was no one else in the entire world except the two of them.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear before kissing her gently on the lips. He could feel her smile beneath his kiss, and he knew that he was smiling as well.

Her arms went around his neck, pulling their bodies closer to each other. His own arms found their place on her the small of her back. It wasn't long until the couple found themselves lying down, James trapping Lily beneath him.

He stopped kissing her for a second, just to look down at her. Her eyes opened, and a smile appeared on her face. Her cheeks were pink and her lips were slightly swollen.

He propped himself up with one arm, and with his free hand took a few pieces of Lily's astray hair and placed them behind her ear. Then he gently traced her cheekbone with the tips of his fingers. "You're beautiful," he whispered.

"James."

"Yes?"

"I love you," she whispered back to him.

He lent forward and kissed her once more. His hands went back to her body, and she gently kissed him back.

Soon enough James felt his natural instincts begin to kick in and he began to fumble with her robe, taking it off and revealing her ordinary school clothes.

He felt her slightly stiffen below him and he stopped what he was doing immediately. He stopped kissing her and looked straight into her eyes, "Sorry," he told her, remembering that the last time he attempted this she gave him an hour long speech about her morals.

"Shh," she whispered and placed one finger to his lips. "Forget what I said."

He cocked his eyebrows slightly, showing that he was both intrigued and surprised. Lily smiled up at him and then pulled his lips closer to her own.

Author's Note 2: Thanks for reading chapter 42 of Loving You! I know, it wasn't very action packed, but I was listening to love songs when I wrote it. Anyways, please remember to review!